(This page is best read in the voice of Billy West or Chris Phillips. In other languages, this page can be read in the voices of Akio Suyama in Japanese, Marcelo Campos or Marcelo Pissardini in Brazilian Portuguese, and Benjamín Rivera or Alfonso Obregón Inclán in Latin American Spanish.)
Well, well, well... What do we have here? Some nerd browsing a website called "TV Tropes"? And you wanna write a biography about me? Well, why didn't ya say so?
My name is Roger Klotz. I live in Bluffington with my mom and my cat, Stinky. Sounds easy, right? Honestly, my life was pretty boring while I was in grade school. Sure, I picked on the losers around me and I got held back a few grades, but it just was the same old routine... Until the day Funnie moved into town.
From day one, he was a loser. And not just any loser, either. He was a Capital "L" loser (and still is!)! Oh boy, I remember the day where I tricked him into thinking there was a Neematoad at "Stintson's Pond." He was such a klutz! Although, there was that one time where I held him a party to celebrate his first year in Bluffington, but that doesn't mean he and I are friends now, got it?
But then, seventh grade rolled around. During summer vacation, my mom told me one thing that would change my life forever... "We're gonna be rich!!!!" Yeah, you heard that right. The poor kid becomes rich overnight. What are the odds of that?! Though to be fair, my mom got the money after Mr. Bluff bought the trailer park, but that's besides the point! We finally got the money that could change our lives forever! Almost immediately, my mom bought the house right next door to Mr. Bluff's, and I got myself my own personal limo. Who else do you know that has it, hm?
There will be spoilers here in this page, so don't blame me if I end up ruining stuff for you. Also, if I end up wasting your time by having you jot down everything to know about me... well, it's not my problem.
Here's my trope list. I'm not gonna repeat myself after this, so you better take notes!
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Well, I may have picked on Funnie less often when we got into middle school, but that doesn't mean I didn't spare him!
- Alpha Bitch: Yes, even guys like me can fit this description.
- Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: More like "embarrassing grandparents". When I was thirteen, my grandma made me go on that show, "Kiddie Korral" because to her, I'm practically a toddler. ...What?
- Annoying Laugh: Ahh-hahahahaha!
- Berserk Button: If you hurt my cat Stinky, I will cream you.
- The Bully: Hey, I'm not that bad. But at least I didn't become a goody two-shoes unlike that Mexican girl from Royal Woods. What a wuss!
- Disappeared Dad: Remember when I mentioned that I live with my mom? Well, that's because my parents separated when I was only a baby. My dad lives in Bloatsburg (you know, the city where Funnie used to live), but he never decided to visit me!
- Dub Name Change: People in Latin America like to call me "Rufo" for some reason. What kind of a stupid name is that?!
- Everyone Has Standards: I may like to pick on the other kids at school, especially Funnie, but at least I don't actually hit people. Unlike that fat kid from Colorado...
- Held Back in School: Yeah, I was in the sixth grade for three years. What's so important about that?
- Laughing at Your Own Jokes: ...Well, at least my sense of humor is more "fosisticated" compared to you numbskulls.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Me? Afraid of snakes? Ha! You wish! Though there was that one time where Doug thought it was a good idea to show me one while we were in Bluff Scouts together, but that doesn't count!
- Aaaaaaaand that's all I got for ya. You wanted more? Well, too bad! That's all you're getting from me. Sayonara, suckers! Ha-hahahahahaha!!!