For best effect, read this in a voice similar to Alex Rybetski.
Howdy! My name is Flowey! Flowey the Flower! Nice to meet'cha! It's not every day we get visitors from the surface around here! And it's about time I finally got a page all for myself! If you're going to stick around, I'd be happy to be a new friend to you! Because you won't be leaving this page without reading it, right?
Hmmm? What do you mean my face got all freaky for a second? Oh, you must mean my funny faces! Anyway, I'm here to guide you through my little tale of what I've been through and outline just who I am! But first, how about you and I have a little bit of fun first? If you want to know more about me, go ahead and click on this link! I promise that it'll be a lot of fun!
...Are you kidding me?! Are you dense? Deaf? Just plain stupid?! CLICK. ON. THIS. LINK!
...You're not falling for any of that, are you? You know exactly who I am and what I entail, don't you? You're doing this just to toy with me and make me suffer, is that it? In that case... DIE.
And there's no Toriel to save you this time, kiddo! Toodle-loo!
...Although, that would be a little bit too easy. You know how I operate, and even if I were to kill you here, you'd just come back as always to read the article. The power of DETERMINATION isn't an exclusive concept to the world I come from, after all.
Anyway, since I assume you're familiar with who I am — that is the reason you're reading this, right? — let me start at the beginning. I am but a simple flower who greets any humans who enter the underground, where the monsters all live! They've been trapped down here for years, and they're hoping to get out from underneath the mountain one of these days! ...At least, that's only what's on the surface level of this little tale of woe. The truth is, quite naturally, much, much more complicated than you can ever imagine. So, let me start at the true beginning of where I come from and what lead me to this state you're seeing me in. This is also a massive spoiler warning if you have yet to play my home game, so if you're still willing to read beyond this point, then it's your loss, bucko!
Anyway, who am I, really? Well, it was a little fuzzy at first, but thanks to that nerdy scientist's old VCR tapes, I've caught myself back up to speed. I am the crown prince of the royal Dreemur family, Asriel, born to Toriel, formerly the queen, and Asgore, the still reigning king. When I said I was "the prince of this world's future," that wasn't just me being boastful; I literally am a prince by blood. I lived a pretty happy childhood and was loved by many for my kind and helpful personality. Good luck finding either of those qualities in me now, though; they ain't there.
Things took a turn for the interesting when a human fell down from the surface. Ha ha, no, not that one. No, I mean the very first human who fell down. The one you all have taken to calling "Chara"...even though I don't think they ever really told me their name. In any case, despite being wildly different species, my mom and pop took them in and treated them like they were a part of the family. We gave them everything, love, care, attention, food, a roof over their head, a family...it became a home away from home for them. And what fun we had! Drawing pictures, eating Mom's pies, pranking Dad with the buttercups...it was a lot of fun. Then they ate some buttercups themselves and it stopped being fun.
From there, I ended up absorbing my friend's soul after they passed on and became a being far more powerful than anyone could've ever imagined. I crossed the barrier and walked toward the village where my friend had lived, carrying their body the whole way there. When I arrived, I was met with a higher level of LOVE than I expected and found myself getting attacked from all sides. And you know what I did? I allowed them to attack me and retreated with a smile on my face and too many wounds to count.
...What? Did you really expect me to go whole hog on everyone out of vengeance? That was before I died and became this. Yeah, yeah, hold your Gyftrots! I'm getting to that part! To make a long story short, I died that night and was little more than the soul of a boss monster. The entire kingdom went into a bit of an uproar and Dad was mighty angry, enacting the policy that any and all humans who fell down were to be killed, and their souls brought before him; the key to breaking that barrier was to collect seven of them.
At some point during this mess, my soul got caught up in Dr. Alphys' experiements; more specifically, an experiment meant to discover what would happen if an everyday object were given a soul. Heh, the look on her face when she realized I had escaped that junk heap of a laboratory... But, am I here to gloat about ducking out of sight of a nerd or recounting my tale?
Anyway, the years passed. More humans fell down underneath Mt. Ebott, each one more determined and capable than the last. More souls were gathered. Tensions flared up. The monsters got restless. And here I was, trying to feel something - anything - for my parents, for the population of monsters, for anyone. But I couldn't feel anything. Even after I discovered how to SAVE and LOAD from a previous point in time, any effort to give myself emotions ended in failure. Even trying to save all the monsters did absolutely nothing for me. And at some point, I gave up trying to be nice. The isolation I felt... It was maddening.
Soon, Asgore had six of the seven souls he needed. All he needed was one more. And as fate would have it, that one kid came along... Frisk, I think their name was. From the moment they fell down, I knew they were the one. The one to break the barrier, the one to save all of monsterkind...or destroy it. The one who would be my pawn in this grand game of mine. What happened next...was up to you. You had full reign of their actions and how they handled battles. Sometimes they'd save everyone like your garden variety hero. Sometimes they'd kill everybody and destroy the world. Sometimes theyd straddle the line between the two. Regardless of how things played out, you'd be hard-pressed to find a scenario where I'm not involved in some way. Because I'll be here forever. And don't even think of editing this page to get rid of me, because I will always come back!
Now that that's all out of the way, feel free to traipse around this little cavern here. ...Seriously, that's all I have to say. There's no Easter Egg or any little touches to make me react to your lingering presence. This page isn't complex enough for that.
Some of the tropes that little ol' me embodies:
- Alas, Poor Villain: Oh, please! Who are you to pity someone like me? Don't you get it? I'm a monster. Admittedly, considering who I really am, I guess that there's more than enough reason for all of you to pity me. I can't say I can fathom why, though.
- Allergic to Routine: I alone have to power to SAVE, LOAD and RESET — I use this to save everyone, to kill everyone, to explore every action and reaction I can... until there was nothing left to do. It's only after you fell down into the underground did I finally have something new to occupy my time with.
- Already Done for You: I don't want to leave my only friend to have to do those stupid skeleton puzzles.
- And I Must Scream: Kinda goes both ways; my ability to SAVE and LOAD prevents me from dying and I'm just as capable of saving over your death and making you suffer over and over and over again. And, uh, to tell you the truth, being a flower that can't feel anything and can't really die is...not exactly an ideal fate either. Don't tell anyone I said that or else I'll SAVE over your death.
- Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Oh, please, like there's many moments where I beg for my life or any situation where I'm at a disadvantage; in fact, I live for faking people out with crocodile tears. That's actually a lie; trying to bargain with Chara is where I finally crack and show my true face in a last-ditch effort to get them to spare me. Didn't quite work out so hot for me in the end.
- Art Shift: Nobody really expects what I look like with six of the seven souls absorbed. It's always a treat to see everyone's utter horror at my new look!
- Back from the Dead: You're not the only one who can SAVE and LOAD, y'know. Oh man, I wish I could've seen the looks on everyone's faces when they found out I was still alive on a repeat playthrough! Well, at least the faces of those who decided to kill me, anyway.
- The Bad Guy Wins: I've had a few runs end in my favor. Hey, it gets boring saving everyone after a while! Too bad all of my attempted Genocide runs have failed thanks to a certain joke-loving skeleton...
- Bad Liar: Okay, fine, so I'm not the best deceiver on the face of the planet. But I hardly need to lie when I've got power beyond compare! ...And thankfully, Papyrus — bless that naive moron and his far too big and soft heart — always believes me, and that is often enough to make my plans work.
- Big Bad: Not many would expect a cute little flower like yours truly to be the villain of a game where nobody has to die...but here I am at the top of the food chain! And I make no bones (ugh, I can hear that stupid skeleton chuckling at that pun...) about hiding that fact!
- Catchphrase: I've got a few of them, such as "In this world, it's kill or be killed!", "Don't you have anything better to do?", "Howdy!" and of course, my personal favorite of the lot, "You idiot!"
- Defiant to the End: You think I'll succumb to you after being beaten? Then go ahead, prove that you have the will to kill. Unleash all of your hatred on me when I'm at my weakest. See if you feel good about it afterward. Loathe as I am to admit it, I'm not as defiant in the face of being killed by my best friend...but can you really blame me in that case?
- Didn't Think This Through: Goading Chara into killing everyone in the underground really could have used a failsafe, now that I think about it...
- Driven to Suicide: Until I wondered what would happen to something without a soul after death.
- Eldritch Abomination: My Photoshop Flowey form is quite the extreme makeover, wouldn't you agree? ...What even is Photoshop, anyway?
- Enfant Terrible: What? No!!! I'm not a kid! I'm the GOD of this world and THAT'S why you should play with me!
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Alright, I'll bite; I might have a teensy longing to see my old pal Chara again. ...And I suppose I should be sad about my parents, but it's hard to really care about them when you don't have a soul to bother with pesky empathy for your folks.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: I just don't understand some people wanting to be so kind to everyone. Heck, why would people want to go out of their way to spare me, of all monsters?!
- Evil Is Petty: I'll go to just about any lengths to get you all riled up. It's quite fun to make people angry; you should try it sometime!
- Fallen Hero: And to think, I actually started out HELPING people. Of course, now I know better.
- False Friend: I may look like I'm out to be all buddy-buddy with whoever strikes my fancy, but I'll gladly take whatever opportunity presents itself to use them as a stepping stone to my own ends. Take that Papyrus fella for instance; boy, is that guy ever far too trusting for his own good.
- Flower Motif/Foul Flower: Took you all of five minutes to figure out that one, eh?
- The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: Heh heh, betcha thought my power only extended to the game I come from, huh? Well, don't mind me, I can see you just fine on the other side of the screen as you read my article.
- Giver of Lame Names: Yes, my name is Flowey the Flower. Seriously, what do you expect? I come from a father whose naming sense is legendary across the underground for being absolutely terrible. Of course I'd end up picking up his habits.
- "Groundhog Day" Loop: Why, my superpower is basically to invoke this at will. Or, well, it was. Then you came and wrestled it from me somehow. But, to be frank, as far as powers goes, it was bit overrated. Seeing everyone going through the same motions, over and over again, be it praising you for your heroic deeds, or gibbing in helpless terror, pleading for mercy as you tore them limb from limb, got boring after awhile. Still, I'm actually quite angry that you took that from me. No matter how you look at it, in the end, you still took something that belonged to me. But I'm going to get it back, and once I do... Oooh, boy... I got so many wonderful ideas, I can almost feel the sensation of pleasure again, just thinking about it... And it involves you dying over and over again.
- A God Am I: Don't you just love having a whole world to control at your every whim? I know I sure do!
- Immortality Immorality: Spare everyone? Kill everyone? Doesn't matter much to me; just as long as it provides some kind of entertainment to me. And even if I kill them, I always bring them back and they'll be none the wiser.
- Interface Screw: I can terminate and/or restart the game, wreck the save point menu, completely change the game's rules... What can't I do?
- It's All About Me: I don't really care about being charitable toward anyone else or bothering myself with the problems of others; in the end, all that really matters to me is myself and whatever I've got in store for this world.
- Lack of Empathy: Hey, who needs love when you can have LOVE instead? That's what having your soul injected into an object not meant to have a soul does to you.
- Safety in Indifference: The more friends you make, the more you have to lose. So I really don't bother trying to make any new friends.
- The Soulless: I've got plenty of Determination and all of my memories, but I don't have a soul or any compassion for anything around me. Comes with the territory.
- Story-Breaker Power: Being able to SAVE and LOAD at will is a very useful boon; with it, I'm practically unstoppable! Really, anybody is invincible with a power like that, including you. Speaking of which...give me back my power right now.
- Stunned Silence: It takes a lot to silence me, but being spared is enough to give me pause.
- Time Master: But of course. I can die horribly in one timeline and just pop back into place a few minutes prior no worse for wear!
- This Cannot Be!: I love to fake people out by saying things like this. All the better to catch you off-guard with! That said, losing control of the souls genuinely made me lose my cool.
- Treacherous Advisor: What? Little old me? Treacherous? Come on, can't you trust this friendly face of mine? It's not as if I'm asking you to fly into my bull- er, I mean, 'friendliness pellets' or anything...
- Unknown Rival: Ooo, I really hates that Sans guy. He might not be able to remember it, but his interference has resulted in more resets than I care to remember. I have learned to be careful to avoid attracting his attention or even making him aware of my existence, lest he show up and decide to ruin my fun. What can I say? For a fat, lazy bastard, he is surprisingly strong and tenacious.
- Who Wants to Live Forever?: I do! ...Honestly, though, immortality isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Wishful Projection: What do you want from me? They have a bizarrely similar fashion sense! Sue me!
- Your Soul Is Mine: I was so close to having all seven!