is standing in the alleyway by himself drinking a beer and smoking a cigarette
Geh?! Who are you?! Me? Well, I am NOT Dale Gribble. I am... Rusty Shackleford! That's right! Rusty... -takes a smoke- Shackleford... Huh? You're not with the government and just want to know more about me instead of Hank? Well, I have to say I am flattered... Alright fine! I am Dale Gribble but you better not be blabbing that to "the man" man! Ahem! As you know, I am one of the main characters of, how does Hank say it, "T.V.'s King of the Hill". Man that sounds so dumb to say... Anyway, I live in the state of Arlen Texas with the best wife and son a guy could ask for! And I also live beside my friends I knew since high school: Hank, Boomhauer, and Bill. One of them is annoying but a good friend, the other I have no problems with (most of the time), and the last one, frankly, I can't really stand. Then again, nobody does.
Did I tell you about my family? My wife, Nancy Gribble, is by far the best wife a man could ask for! She's definitely smarter, nicer, and WAY sexier than Hank's wife and my son Joseph is like the best at everything he does! I'm also the founder, CEO, and only employee of my extermination company: Dale's Dead Bug. And I'll have you know I'm pretty damn good at my job. However, jobs are far few in between so we must rely on Nancy's weatherperson job for the money. As you can probably tell, I love to smoke. Like a lot. Some people say someone who smokes as much as me should've died a long time ago but I have lungs of steel! Well, not really. I tried to make them steel once but the doctor said it was "Physically impossible..."
I guess this is the part where I go into even more detail about myself but I won't be doing too much of that because of two things. One, my series has been running since the 90s so that'll take waaaay to long and my attention span is way to short for that. And two, I'm not some informative dork like Hank who would most likely take a lot of time just discussing how "Propane is the best gas" or how he sells propane and propane accessories... But I will say that the government is a sham and aliens are real!
Huh... Looks like that Doley kid and his ugly friend have their own demonstrating page. I wouldn't think that two minor characters are worthy enough to have their own page. What? Those aren't Doley and his ugly friend? How could they not?! Just look! Hank even appears in that show of theirs! He goes by "Tom Anderson" for some reason... Must be disguising his name as well to fit into a different environment. That's probably why he gained a lot of weight and made himself look much older. Clever Hank... clever...
Here are my tropes. Sh-sh-sha!
- Afraid of Blood: A-Afraid?! I'm not afraid of a little...geh...blood. I just can't stand the sight of it is all...
- Anti-Role Model: Too late! There are already kids that smoke and do other bad things like with myself! And don't say "Hank is the perfect role model" because he's not! Just look how he treats his own son!
- A lot of you do say that I tend to be this way to Joseph despite me caring for him. I'm just trying to help him prepare for eventually when the aliens decide to come back and take over the planet! Though, I, in secret, did this once in the episode "The Smoking and The Bandit" where Joseph started to hate me and I became the "Smoking Bandit" so that Joseph will have someone to look up to. I was planning to reveal to him that I was the Smoking Bandit in hopes to get him to like me again but he ended up saying ahead of time that someone like me couldn't be the bandit! Ouch... Don't worry, I resolved everything at the end all by myself! ...Fine! With a LITTLE help from Hank...
- Ax-Crazy: So I may be a little unhinged... Though...an axe would've been perfect to kill Hank with in that episode where he spoke bad about me!
- Brutal Honesty: I pull no punches on telling others how I feel about them. Hank is an annoying do-gooder who loves propane, his lawn, and his dog even more than his own family. Peggy is probably the worst human being I've ever met. Bobby is weird like "weirder than me" weird. Boomhauer, though a great friend, I can never understand him sometimes. And Bill is a pathetic, fat, disgusting, stupid, and bald of a man who will never get another women if he tried.
- The Bully: Huh? You think I bully Hank way too much? Well, maybe I do but it's just fun taking advantage of a guy who seems to do right in every thing he does! Sure, he can kick my ass afterwards but most times, I get away with it!
- Definitely with Bill. I love to bully him as well and he, unlike Hank, doesn't fight back.
- Bullying a Dragon: So what bullying a guy who can definitely kick my ass is a bad idea? It's fun to take Hank down a peg when the opportunity arises! Especially since I can definitely outrun Hank!
- Calling Your Attacks: Like a certain "anime character" who looks like he dyed his hair in his own urine every day (good idea by the way), I do tend to call out attacks to act dramatic. One being "SQUIRREL TACTICS!" or my famous "POCKET SAND!"
- Cloud Cuckoolander: A lot of you say I'm crazy, but also wacky, with a dose of insane, topped with being total nuts! I must say... I agree. Also, don't try to pet your pet turtles with your finger in a wiggling motion. They will think said finger is a worm and would proceed to eat it!
- Combat Pragmatist: Yes! When the government is constantly watching you or you've made enemies more than a regular person should have, I've trained myself to use by any means necessary to get one over them. I even keep sand in my pocket just in case I'm forced to confront someone.
- Comedic Sociopathy: Hey! It's fun watching Peggy Hill squirm! Why you think I enjoy going to her birthday parties? Because something bad 'always' happens at them!
- Conspiracy Theorist: Of course! However, unlike those OTHER Conspiracy Theorists that are always spouting nonsense, I on the other hand am right every single time! The government is not to be trusted as they are constantly watching everything we do! Even in the bathrooms! And not to mention aliens are in fact real! Joseph is a good example of this! How else he could be my son despite having a different hair and skin color from yours truly?
- Cool Shades: -adjusts his shades- You damn right they're cool. Better than Hank's dorky frames!
- Dead Person Impersonation: I took on the alias "Rusty Shackleford" after the real one died years ago. Or so I thought! Turns out he was still alive and was out for blood! I'm still using his name here so don't tell him I'm doing it or else...
- Dirty Coward: Of course! Covering oneself in dirt and then fleeing is an effective way to escape from threats. Especially if said threat is bigger and stronger than you and even if it means leaving your friends behind. Survival of the fittist... survival of the fittest...
- Disproportionate Retribution: A lot of you say that it's "taking it too far" to try and kill Hank with a forklift for talking bad about me. So what? He talked bad about me and he must be punished! Plus, I've done worse...
- Doting Parent: You've seen my son Joseph? He's so awesome at everything he does! The best son a father could ask for even if his true dad is an alien!
- Good Parents: Damn right! I love my son Joseph even if he's part alien and Nancy always treat him well. Unlike Hank who barely is man enough to even show open affection for his own son. And I also like Joseph for what he is. Not constantly trying to push him to doing something he doesn't want to do unlike with Hank!
- Gun Nut: Guns are awesome! I have guns of many different shapes and sizes and I keep them everywhere in the house despite Nancy's constant nags! I also happen to be the leader of the Gun Club and one of the best damn shooters around!
- Everyone Has Standards: Would you believe me when I say that Hank once lost his faith in someone over a damn handshake? I called him "crazy!" for that. And don't get me started when Peggy was threatening others with that damn paddle. I had to take that thing because she's freaking crazy! She even almost beat my own son and I rightfully called her a bully. See, when I bully Hank, it's never really physical (of course he can kick my ass) but when others do it, it's always physical!
- Foil: Me and Hank, you could say, are foils to each other. Also, that reminds me to buy more aluminum foil for my mind-control prevention hats...
- I'll admit, Hank is a well put together guy than me. He has the muscles, the tools (which I love to take sometimes), ha-MORE hair...while me I'm thin, don't have enough tools, and I only get offers for my services every now and again with us relying on Nancy's weather job.
- Hank is also more level-headed and rational while I'm, well, crazy and irrational. At times mind you!
- Hank always fixes problems. I always cause them.
- However, there are things I'm better at than Hank! While he does have a stronger body, I'm waaay more athletic than his beer-belly ass! I also have a better family than him, better friends, and more abilities that he wishes he could have!
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Yeah, yeah! I know, I know! Blah blah blah Dale's a bad friend! Blah blah blah People shouldn't hang around him. Blah blah blah!
- Gratuitous Russian: Yep! I can speak other languages as well but I'm pretty fluent in speaking Russian! Ahem! Хэнк - раздражающий фанат пропана, и Билл противен мне и почти всем остальным. Translation: Hank is an annoying propane fanatic and Bill disgusts me and pretty much everyone else.
- Hero-Worshipper: For the most part, the Hills are just a family of weirdos and jackasses. However, Cotton Hill on the other hand was a true American hero! This man fought for our country losing both of his shins and, even better, hates Peggy just as much as I do! Not to mention how he treats Hank is hilarous! It's a damn shame he died. I'm glad I was able to carry out his last wish by destroying Hank's stupid shed. May he rest in peace...
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Not me and Hank and Bill. We're often that other term but definitely with me and Boomhauer and John Redcorn. John Redcorn, I'll admit, was pretty distant and found it akward to be around me for some reason but after apologizing for my race taking his race's land, we've been even more close than usual! He even let me join his band!
- Huh? You think me and Octavio is this as well? Oh no no no! He's just more of a "business partner."
- Jerkass: -breathes in a cigarette and blows out- Your point?
- Jerkass Ball: I'm a jerk to pretty much everyone but my family so if I'm a jerk to them, then I guess I did held this "trope." Most notably in the episode where I was forced to work in some boring office job where I had the thrill of firing people up and down without giving a damn about what personal problems they have! I even threathened to fire Nancy and Joseph from our family... Damn I felt bad for doing that but that was just the stress talking...
- Jerkass Has a Point: Yes, I know I am a "jerk" but even you, "Tropers", have to agree with me that Peggy Hill is a terrible human being that Hank should just divorce her! Sure, maybe saying she's a "terrible human being" may be going far but she's definitely annoying. Like "more annoying than Hank constantly talking about propane" annoying.
- Also, like I said above, Hank's constant talk about propane is enough to make me crazy! Er, crazier...
- Also, also! Bill is pathetic isn't he? Bald, lazy, always trying to steal Peggy away from Hank...I can go on and on about Bill being the worst guy around but I have a gun club meeting in a bit.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I can be an unplesant person to be around. This I will admit. However, I am more capable of showing love for my family unlike a certain propane fanatic. Speaking of said propane fanatic, sure I love to bully him around but I'll admit, he's the most dependable person I can count of if something should happen to me.
- Lean and Mean: Hey! I'm not THAT skinny am I? Well, I guess compared to Hank's muscular body with a beer belly, Bills fatty fat body, and Boomhauer's, well, average body, I guess I am "lean." The mean part though, yeah, that I can understand.
- My God, What Have I Done?: I'll admit. Pretending to act like a terrible husband toward Nancy was not one of my best moments. Especially since she thought I really meant the terrible things I've said to her and almost divorced me! Fortunately, I was able to win her back.
- Nice Hat: Indeed. I hardly take it off even when I'm showering. It's NOT to cover my balding spot if that's what you're suggesting!
- Pet the Dog: Ew! I don't want to pet Hank's filthy dog! Oh, that's not what you meant? Oh, well yeah despite my status, I am capable of showing niceness toward others. I'm not THAT heartless...
- My treatment of Joseph is far better than Hank's treatment of Bobby. That's for sure!
- Speaking of Hank, me and him have are differences and if you're reading my page to this point, you can say I don't like him very much. However, Hank is very dependable and I can always count on him I'll admit. Even when I thought Hank was dying from a bullet wound, I promised to him that I'll keep Bill away from Peggy despite me hating her with a burning passion! See! I am a good friend! Just not all the time...
- Also for Bill, I may can't stand his guts but I still care for the guy. When I thought he died in a tank explosion, I actually cried. Yes, I cried! And the cause wasn't pesticide in my eyes for once! And when Bill (somehow) survived, I was relieved he was okay.
- Poisonous Friend: Well, duh. I'm an exterminator! I use poison for a living! Oh. You mean the type of friend that others shouldn't hang with because they're a bad influnce and will often betray or ditch you when you need them the most? Yeah. That sounds like me alright.
- The Rival: Just because Hank is my quote unquote "Best Friend" doesn't stop me from trying to best him at something! Even if I don't win said contest, if I've scored or placed higher than Hank, then that's a win for me!
- Smoking Is Cool: You damn right it is! I've been smoking all my life since the third grade! Like with my hat, I also smoke in the middle of taking a shower.
- Took a Level in Kindness: A lot of you say that I've gotten a lot more laid-back as the series goes on especially during the last parts of it. I'll admit, after rekindling my marriage with Nancy and forming a deeper bond with Joseph, I just feel so damn good about life lately!
- Trademark Favorite Food: Like the others, beer. I will NOT give it up for anything! Stupid tea...
- Verbal Tic: I do often say "Geh!" whenever something surprises me.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: -smokes- You can say this is my status with pretty much everyone I know besides John Redcorn and my family of course. At lot of you will say that me and Hank are one of the best examples of this. Me and Bill often get on each others nerves as well.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Snakes?! I'm not afraid of any snakes! Haven't you watched the episode where I KILLED a bunch of them! What? Just a worse fear in general that doesn't have to be snakes? I don't know what you're talking about! I'm not afraid of anything. Is shown a puppet. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And with that, I bid you farewell! Remember, you've been talking with Rusty Shackleford, not Dale Gribble! -sees a car pull up and the real Rusty Shackleford comes out- GEH! SQUIRREL TACTICS! climbs up a tree