(For Vlad Tepes Dracula, aka Castlevania's Dracula, go here. Page can be best read in the voice of either Bela Legosi, Christopher Lee, or Gary Oldman as well as any other Dracula actor you prefer. Though NOT Adam Sandler, this is not that Dracula)
(We approach a huge spooky-looking castle, mist covering the ground and dark clouds surrounding the area. We soon reach the two front doors which suddenly open rather ominously. To which we meet an elderly-looking but very pale bloke in a suit and cape ensemble holding a lamp)
Ah guests, velcome, velcome. I am Count Dracula please enter into my home and leave some of the happiness you bring. I assure you no harm will come to you while you're here, you've after all have come to “interview” me in these “self-demonstrating” pages. I am more than happy to oblige about who I am.
As I'm sure you've all heard, I am a Nosferatu, vampyr or “vampire”: a being neither dead nor living, the “undead” as it were. We are walking corpses akin to creatures in a humanoid form that never age and are granted a variety of powers. However in return, we must subsist on blood, human blood being our usual course via biting our targets with our fangs, though apparently, we can also get by on animals. Stories tend to be vague about such things. Hmm, human food? I cannot say if I do eat it, though most point out that I cannot. I know I never drink ...wine. How I came to be like this is a mystery from the original story I came from, the most knowledge I know states at the least I hail from the Ottoman Empire and studied under the black arts which may be the cause of my... condition. There are also some rumors I am really Vlad Tepes, otherwise known as Vlad the Impaler, a Wallachian prince known for his brutality. (Chuckles) However while flattered, there is no proof of this. While I do come from a wealthy upbringing (Note the “Count” in the title), that is just a theory at best. Though I am proud of the lineage that I come from. The peasants in the surrounding areas are certainly aware of this and do well to respect this should I have a need to come “visit” them.
My debut story, as documented by one Abraham Stoker (aka Bram Stoker), takes place in the 19th century in which the industrial age was long thriving. Having stayed within my castle for many a century and feeding on the villages of the land. I decided for a change of scenery and used my wealth to buy a run-down former cathedral named Carfax Abby. A young Englishman realtor name Johnathan Harker had arrived to foresee the transaction. Ah, it had been so long to have someone new in my castle. He was wonderful company, but I knew he would likely not respond well to what I truly was and I couldn't have him warning the world. So I kept him in my castle till the transaction was complete and left him to my three female vampire companions (often known as my wives or “brides”) while I absconded to London to set up the seeds of my new kingdom. There was even a lovely housewarming gift in the form of a young girl named Lucy Westenra who slept walk near my area the night I arrived. What fortune, my first foreign victim. I had to cut the feeding short as her friend, a one Mina Murray, had come looking for her. Though Lucy was already affected by the vampire curse by then.
Over the following days, I acquainted myself with the new era while likewise continuing to feed on Ms. Westenra, hoping soon to have my first bride on this land. However, I was soon challenged as the doctor treating her, a one John Seward, called in his mentor, a one Professor Abraham Van Helsing to look into her treatment. To my surprise, he likewise studied the occult, knew about vampyr, and knew what was happening to her. (Sneers) It was my hope that this new land didn't know of such knowledge to ward off my kind, and yet here this man was able to and taught it to his surrounding party. Luckily by then, I had already affected Ms. Westenra enough thanks to the help of an insane asylum resident named Renfield who removed the ward in exchange for wanting to “eat life” itself. Eventually, I managed to triumph over those opposing me by fully draining my target, killing her, and sending her on the path of joining the glorious ranks of the undead.
Alas, it was short-lived, as I had begun to start finding another bride (that I may or may not have turned, the documents don't' say and my memory is... hazy). Helsing and his allies confronted and killed Ms. Westenra for good just as she rose as a vampire and was beginning to start inflicting vampirism on young children. What's more, Harker had escaped my “wives” and returned to the mainland to tell of what he witnessed as I feared. Leading the hunters to Carfax Abby and burning down the essential coffins of dirt I had to prevent me from housing there further. Sensing this, I went to take the fight directly to them, attacking Mina, who in turn was also Harker's newly beloved wife, and giving her a different type of vampirism by both biting her and feeding her my blood, ensuring that she'd turn without the need for me to finish feeding on her as long I still lived, then absconding back to my castle in Transylvania. With my powers, I could surely outpace my enemies before Mina became a vampyr. (Frowns) But in my zeal, I once again underestimated Van Helsing's cunning and tenacity, he used hypnotism on her to link a connection to me and track me back to Transylvania. Even when I arrived back at my home where my powers were strong enough to block her out, they had enough information to continue their dogged pursuit. My wives and servants tried to protect me, but to no avail and eventually, I met my pitiable “end” in my final coffin before I could even arise to confront them. My only solace is that one of their own (a one, Quincy Harker) died in the process of trying to reach me.
Hmm? So how am I here if I'm truly dead? The public consciousness seemed very enthralled at my tale and, while there was never an official sequel written by Mr. Stoker, other writers have taken up the task often having me return in some fashion and seek revenge for my previous loss against those that slayed me. If not that, then their descendants at least. Eventually, I became so well known I've transcended into the public domain with a bevy of writers putting me in different tales as well as recounting the story I began from. I could go all night about it, but we only have so little time, I'm certain there's a page here that lists my appearances. This page is just meant for my first novel appearance and some of its adaptations. (Chuckles) So it seems I am immortal after all, at least in a different sense.
(Wolf howls)
Ah the tropes of the night, what wonderful information they make.
- Affably Evil: Through Mr. Harker's time with me, I treated him warmly, sharing my history and local cuisine. But I cannot nor won't deny what I am, an undead monster underneath. When he cut himself shaving, it took all my willpower to keep from attacking him outright. I still needed him for my transaction.
- Ambiguously Bi: Scholars speculate this of me. While I do usually go after women, I'm not above courting men either. Of course, at times this was seen in a negative light and meant to add to my monstrosity. It seems in recent eras, humans have come around to bisexuality now. So I suppose this is just viewed as quaint to most readers these days.
- Arch-Enemy: Hmph, I hardly consider them my arch-enemies, but I do recognize the hunters as a threat. Van Helsing has especially been singled out as my main foe due to his knowledge of the undead. Of course, I could kill him easily if we did have a direct confrontation in the book. But he was wise enough not to do so, advising the other to catch me in my coffin and weakened by sunlight to dispatch me.
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: My brides, while they do serve me, aren't above disobeying me. I strictly warned them not to engage Mr. Harker before the transaction and they nearly spoiled my plans before it can begin. Mocking me further that I've “never loved” after I've stopped them. (Shakes head) I suppose it can't be helped, they are free to hunt at their leisure, of course, that freedom would go to their heads. But nevertheless, they know what I am capable of and they understand not to overstep their bounds. While not stated, I do admit a part of my black heart still does care for them. I kept my promise to give them Mr. Harker after I left for London and, if their attempt to sway Mrs. Murray to my side is any indication, they feel the same... possibly.
- Back from the Dead: Sequel books and media usually see me always come back despite me turning into a skeleton after being killed. Usually due to ritual spells.
- Beam Me Up, Scotty!: Despite what you humans believe, I have never spoken in Vampire Vords in the books - that aspect mostly comes from Bela Lugosi's iteration of me. I have also never said, "I vant to suck your blood" at all, and... I cannot believe I agree with Adam Sandler's portrayal, but I do not say "bleh-bleh-bleh."
- The Beastmaster: Controlling animals is well within my power, wolves seem to be especially susceptible to me.
- Breaking and Bloodsucking: (Chuckles) Ah Ms. Westenra, one of my better feastings. Despite her suitors' attempts at stopping me, I ultimately managed to drain her completely over three nights and claimed her by the fourth day. I do wish I could've added her mother to my ranks as well but a heart attack prevented this. When the hunters dared to defy me to avenge their fallen maiden, I dispensed with the pleasantries and attacked Mrs. Murray outright while they were destroying my coffins, cursing her with vampirism by having her drink my blood, taking some of hers and dooming her to a life as a vampire unless I was killed.
- Complete Monster: Label me as such if you will. I hardly concern myself with the opinions of mere humans.
- The Corrupter: A pre-date example, but victims who die under my bite are instantly corrupted into a being they weren't in life. Ms. Westerna, for example, was a normal sweet girl when she was human. Once she joined the undead, she displayed a more lustful, sexual side to her, using her beauty to lure in and bite children and even her intended betrothed, Arthur Holmwood. A truly splendid sight. Mrs. Murray likewise was nearly swayed into joining my brood as well. Alas, the hunters managed to counter this, warding off and killing the former to “bring her soul peace” and preventing the latter's transformation with my “death”.
- Corrupt the Cutie: It is noted that the people that I turn into vampires are women, petite ones at that. My tastes tend to be extraneous, the girls just happen to be in my vicinity when I hunt. While the curse does indeed turn my targets into people they clearly weren't, it is a necessary instinct to make sure they survive their new changes.
- Daywalking Vampire: Mmm a fact that seems to have gotten lost in time and media depictions. But no, sunlight doesn't kill me. Its rays merely prevent me from using my powers, making me no more powerful than a normal human. If I'm in a certain form I cannot shift back till nightfall. If one wonders why I sleep during the daytime, again the shifting issue plus even the undead must rest.
- Eats Babies: Blood is blood to a vampire no matter the age, granted in the book I don't partake in feeding on a baby, but apparently had kidnapped one to feed to my brides (The documents reframe from any details). The only proof of such is that the child's mother showed up to reclaim him. As she was trespassing, I had the local wolves deal with her.
- Fountain of Youth: Due to centuries of living as an undead, my olden form is the most I can maintain. Trust me, if I was my true age I'd be a walking skeleton. So when I feed on a target, I can regain my youthful looks.
- Game Face: A reminder that vampires are creatures in humanoid form. So when I give in to my bloodlust, my facial features tend to become more feral. I'm sure your imagination can put together a suitable picture. (Chuckles).
- Haunted Castle: A correct assumption should you see my family's dwelling. Likely due to the black arts I've practiced, the castle is filled with the supernatural. To the point, the villagers nearby try to avoid it at all costs as they will surely never be heard from again if they enter it. I must commend Mr. Harker for managing to survive his visit with his humanity and sanity intact.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Again I underestimated that crone professor, using hypnotism on Mrs. Murray to track my whereabouts through our connection. Very clever.
- Holy Burns Evil: (Frowns) Loathe as a proud warrior as I hate to admit it, vampirism isn't invincible. One such weakness being crosses and holy items like water and wafers. As a long-lived vampire, I have some immunity to it, but recent undead of my kind do not.
- Immune to Bullets: While I don't come from a time when such weaponry existed, guns and bullets have no effect on me. My body is already dead after all and I can heal faster than the damages they cause.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: I meet my end in the document by being stabbed in the heart and neck due to being unable to move as I was resting. A crude way of dispatching me, but I will commend the hunters for taking the advantage.
- Mind-Control Eyes: One look into my eyes and I can control a human quite freely. As I'm sure you can imagine, it makes hunting for blood much simpler.
- Missing Reflection: Part of the setback to being a vampire is that I have no reflection. Apparently something about "God not recognizing me as human since I have no soul" or some religious nonsense. This does make it easier to sneak up on targets as I surprised Mr. Harker by doing this as he was shaving.
- Mysterious Past: Other than studying black magic, everything leading to the present day of the story is untold. Maybe I was Vlad Tepes, maybe not. Nor how my "brides" came to be with me. It is, as humans say, a Riddle for the Ages.
- Old, Dark House: My second dwelling when coming to London, Carfax Abby was an old dilapidated building barely standing. It was perfect for a creature of my being, big enough to be similar to my castle, but unassuming enough that no one would suspect it. At least until Mr. Harker managed to return and point this out to the other hunters, resulting in burning it down to prevent me from coming back. Such a pity, an architect like that deserved better.
- Our Vampires Are Different: Ah yes, I have heard there are different species of my kind. But my story is the one that put some of these traits in the public eye, pre-dating what came before. For the most part, I have the strength of 20 men, I can control animals, and weather and turn myself into animals as well as fly. As for the vampirism process, contrary to what is believed, my bite is what initiates the vampire curse, and dying from it starts the transformation. Blood sharing is just a secondary form of it. Largely if I intend to inflict a slow transformation to spite my enemies. It's not exactly graceful and leaves me without a meal, but suffices if speed is necessary.
- The Power of Blood: Ah the elixir of life, I need it to sustain myself as do any of my kind. It also allows me my powers as well such as changing my appearance.
- Really 700 Years Old: I have lived countless centuries than the pitiable lives of you humans. Seeing empires rise and fall, technology progress, both the good and the folly of humans. Some say this is part of the curse of the undead as an unnatural life such as this is unholy. I am not inclined to agree or disagree, but as long as I live, I will continue to survive and witness the blinks of time as I do so.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: When the time comes to partake in blood, my eyes are known to go bloodshot (Or glow, depending on the adaptation). And I assure you I won't be stopped until I have fed when this happens!
- Sympathy for the Devil: According to the documents, Mrs. Murray actually pitied me, thinking my soul suffering countless decades of committing horrible atrocities in the name of my unnatural survival. Well, I say she was a fool for thinking that but... (Shakes head and waves on to the next trope).
- Super-Toughness: Save stakes and holy items, blunt weapons are useless on me. Mr. Harker, unknowing of the stake solution at the time, found my resting place while exploring the castle and attempted to strike me with a shovel. It only left a small bruise on my forehead that quickly healed. I would've retaliated for that transgression, but the sun was still up at the time and I cannot move when I am in my coffin. He wisely fled from the area and I focused my concern on the trip to London.
- Uncertain Doom: The woman I was following in the middle of the story the Mina happened to notice. It's never revealed what happened to her. I likely made her into a vampire when I could strike. (Smirks) Again I'll allow your imagination to create what became of that scenario.
- Undeath Always Ends: Vampirism may change a human into a much superior creature with powers. But it only prolongs one's lifespan while halting aging (or in my case, reversing it when I feed). It's not invincible and can be ended easily by a stake through the heart.
- Undeathly Pallor: Not uncommon among the vampyr, we do drain the lifeblood from our victim's body and resurrect them later with our curse. Again, they are walking corpses, after all, one should be thankful they don't rot like zombies.
- Vampires Are Rich: I was already part of a wealthy dynasty and had accumulated a vast fortune over the centuries to easily buy a house in London. My memory isn't what it used to be however and I often have to use Will O' Wisps to track where I've stashed my horde.
- Vampires Are Sex Gods: Hmph, modern eras seem to think this of me due to adaptations casting young handsome-looking men to play the role. In truth, however, I was no more than a wild animal when biting my targets. But I won't attest to such a thought. It will make it easy for me to hunt.
- Vampire's Harem: This has been...contested in recent times. While yes I do have three women in my castle. It is never clarified what their relationship is to me, even I have forgotten. Some speculate they're just three simple victims I turned long ago, others figure they could be my daughters and wife due to two of them having similar noses to me while the blonde is much more different and allowed the first bite at Mr. Harker. Regardless they are the only other vampiric residents there besides myself.
- Vampires Sleep in Coffins: Somewhat. When I must rejuvenate my power, I sleep in boxes of dirt from my homeland (apparently an old folklore that vampires can't travel without dirt from where they were born, it's why I sent so many boxes to London). Since the boxes need to be human-sized, they're usually depicted as coffins. Media has expanded this since then to be lavish coffins for me to rest in.
- Vampire Monarch: While I am only shown asserting my power over the three women in my castle. There is no mistake I am the undisputed head of the castle and all who are turned under my bite come under my power.
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: But of course, I can shift to a bat, wolf, and mist. Likely others as well but media make these my common transformations.
- Wall Crawl: Gravity is nothing but a mere trifle with me as I can scale my castle walls to reach other areas within it with ease. Mr. Harker apparently saw this after I had a talk in his bedroom. Maybe I was careless about allowing him to witness this, but then again I had no intention of letting him leave regardless.
- Was Once a Man: Speculated, but I certainly wasn't born a vampire and my knowledge extends to the Ottoman Empire and medieval eras. It's never revealed how I came to become a vampyr, but Helsing suspects it was the black arts I studied.
(A grandfather clock chimes the dawn hour)
Hmm, it seems sunlight is upon us, so I must depart to my coffin and rest. Please exit freely as you have come. Hmm, why am I sparing you? I have no desire to feed on someone seeking knowledge. Besides, the more the world knows about me, the more they know what I'm capable of. The more they know of the terror that I and my kind bring, the more I will never truly be gone no matter how many stakes they stick in me. I. will. ALWAYS. RETURN!
Till then, good day sir and/or madam. Enjoy the daylight... while you can.
(He floats off into the shadows as we leave and the castle doors close on their own)
