Aren't you lucky to be in the presence of a celebrity!
"Chris McLean is the best host ever! How'd you get your own show?! You stink!"
— Steve the Yeti and definitely not me, TDA: Aftermath: Trent's Descent
Last time on Total Drama...huh? What's this? TV Tropes? Um, my agent didn't say anything about doing this. I was SUPPOSED to be hosting a show here! McLean out!
Phone rings with the theme of Total Drama Island playing.
Hello? What's that? I AM getting paid for doing this? And a surefire spot as host in the next season? Well... I guess I can manage but you have to include a clause where I am to not be held accountable for anything that happens to the contestants in the next season! For-ev-er! Do you agree? Awesome!
Okay! Change of plans! Looks like I DO have some time to spare. But hurry up! My hot tub isn't going to help me relax without me being in there! But I guess I better give out an introduction first. Ahem! I am Chris McLean! The Host with the Most and I am the host of the Total Drama Island series. After my stellar performances from my older days, the company has begged for ME to host their show! Throughout the seasons, I meet different cast members whom I all despise and love to torture! Many people believe my sadism has gotten worse over each season but rest assured, I'm still my same old self! Until I was thrown in jail for an entire year!
Anywho, time to wrap this up as I have a date with a hot tub that is best enjoyed hot! Will I answer all necessary tropes to satisfy the reader? Will this only show how much of a sadistic person I am? Will I greatly regret even doing this in the first place? Find out right here on Total Drama TV Tropes! If you want to read this in my voice, read it in the voice of Christian Potenza or Terry McGurrin, or for Spanish-speaking users, Jhonny Torres!
Here are the tropes that best describe me! The Host with the Most!
- Attention Whore: Hah! Do you think you're watching Total Drama just for those other annoying teens? No, no, no! I'm the host of the show so of course, all attention is on me! Of course, just try to hog the spotlight from me. I'll make sure you pay for it. Painfully! (chuckles evilly)
- Bad Boss: What? You think my treatment of my interns is downright horrific? Hah! They're just interns! They don't feel anything and if one dies...I mean gets hurt, then I'll get another & you wanna know why? Because interns are EXPENDABLE!!! THAT'S WHY!!!
- Berserk Button: Yeah...I have a lot so I'll list them below:
- Do not ever, EVER cut me off! I hate it when those dumb teens overtalk whenever I'm trying to describe a challenge to them! And they get mad at ME whenever they whine and complain if I don't explain things right.
- Do not mess with any of my stuff! They're MY stuff and I have EARNED those things! When Sierra blew up my plane, I kicked her out of the show even though she won the challenge that day! Oh, and Duncan is sitting nicely in a jail cell for DESTROYING MY BEAUTIFUL COTTAGE!!
- Do not bring up any embarrassing moments from my past! I had to shut up Sierra when she revealed I was in a boy band and made me the laughingstock of the others! It was at that moment I stopped treating Sierra nicely and began to torture her just as much as the other contestants.
- Do NOT ask me about my age! I'm middle-aged and that's all you need to know!
- As I stated above, do NOT try to hog my spotlight or try to take over my show! I got Dakota mutated and Topher shot out a cannon because of it!
- Dark and Troubled Past: I do not want to talk about it but something happened in my past that caused me to become the guy you all know and love to hate.
- Deadpan Snarker: I do have my moments of this, especially with the type of cast I deal with.
- Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Yes, I'm a pretty terrible guy but I am still close with my mom. She even still sends me cute pics of her cats sometimes!
- Even Evil Has Standards: Yes, I am a cruel guy that loves seeing teens get hurt in numerous painful and funny ways. However, even I found Heather reading Gwen's diary to the entire world messed up.
- Faux Affably Evil: Hey, I'm a pretty chill guy to hang with on the outside! On the inside, I just happen to not care what happens to you or anyone else and love torturing you for fun!
- Flanderization: I'm accused of getting more and more cruel and sadistic over the seasons. I don't see what they mean as I've ALWAYS been this way! Locking me up in jail for a year has caused me to be more "edgy" I'll admit.
- Hate Sink: I'll admit, NOBODY in the series likes me. Hah! I don't care as the feeling is mutual!
- It's All About Me: Duh! I am not the HOST of Total Drama for nothing! When something occurs that puts others' lives at risk, of course, I'm saving my butt first! There is only one valuable "me" in this world! Hello!
- Jerkass: Um, if you're reading everything up to this point, this shouldn't surprise you.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I've been described as an unpleasant person and even with me only looking out for myself, but there are SOME lines that even I won't dare to cross.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Make up your mind! Either I'm a jerk sometimes or a jerk all of the time! It is mostly the latter so...
- Lack of Empathy: What? I'm supposed to show concern for the cast members whenever they get hurt or almost die? Hello! I'm the host! I'm not supposed to show concern for the cast members as it shows weakness!
- Morality Pet: This trope appears to be taken literally as the only ONE thing I care for right and never showed any hostility toward is my pet mutated plant, Larry.
- Narcissist: What? You need to have a perfect figure like mine to be able to host a show like Total Drama. And it also costs a LOT to keep myself looking good so yes! Also, almost everything MUST have my face on them! The Gilded Chris Awards from Season 2 are one of my favorite prizes to give away!
- Not Me This Time: No Heather. I did NOT steal your immunity idol. It was obviously Alejandro. You think one of the most cunning and manipulative characters in the entire show would be quick to assume the person she literally told she found the idol to was the culprit! Seems like all of the cast during All-Stars got a lot stupider over the years.
- Older Than He Looks: SHUT UP!!! I look good no matter what my age is and I'd rather not go into how old I am!
- Pet the Dog: Hey! Even if my heart is colder than the food we serve the cast, I am capable of kindness! For example:
- I let Katie and Satie reunite after the latter was eliminated. The two are inseparable so I thought to at least let them have their moment.
- I mentioned that DJ would be missed after being eliminated in the first season. If even Heather joined in on a group hug, it's safe to say he deserved the friendly departure.
- Gwen and Courtney finally burying the hatchet and becoming friends again was very, very touching. Even I shed a single tear over how heartwarming that was and decided to give them both a point.
- I take great care of my pet mutated giant plant, Larry. He (later revealed to be a she) is pretty much the only thing I truly show care for at all times!
- Psychopathic Manchild: Hey, I take offense to that! Not the "psychopathic" part, that's pretty much true. But I'm not a manchild! I'll eliminate you if you keep calling me one!
- Sadist: You bet! Hey, I enjoy my work, and why wouldn't I? It's entertaining on every level!
- Sanity Slippage: Well...being locked up in jail for a year has caused me to get a little..unhinged...
- Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: I loooove doing this! Being the host, I have the power to do what I want whenever I want! It makes the show more interesting and fun! For me!
- Teen Hater: Yes, I have admitted on screen that I despise teenagers. Though considering all the stuff I've done to them, this shouldn't be a shocker.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: A lot of people say that I was indeed a jerk in the first few seasons of Total Drama but I still had some Pet the Dog moments and even some Even Evil Has Standards moments that made it seem I wasn't all THAT bad. However, by Revenge of the Island, I dropped all of that and focused purely on torturing the new cast as sadistically as I can! I even pulled off an impressive Evil Laugh to show how low I sunk!
- Trademark Favorite Food: My favorite drink is tomato juice. Not that you or Sierra should have known that...
- Vitriolic Best Buds: A good way to describe me and Chef's friendship. In some episodes, he's annoying me and trying to get me hurt in some way. In other episodes, I'm inviting him to lunch or to watch the other teen's torment.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: You're probably wondering why I didn't host that spin-off, The Ridonculous Race. It's simple, I didn't feel like it.
- Would Hurt a Child: Well, not younger kids but considering the cast from Total Drama Island and Total Drama World Tour'' were around 16 and I love torturing them through various life-threatening challenges, I guess so!
There! I am done with this! McLean out!
