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Sandbox / Final Fantasy VII Machinabridged Supporting Characters

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Introduced in Season 1

    Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie
Left to right: Wedge, Biggs, Jessie
Biggs voiced by: Chris "Kirbopher15" Niosi
Wedge voiced by: Chris Zito
Jessie voiced by: Jessi "Nowacking" Nowack

Barret's fellow compatriots in AVALANCHE before Cloud's unwelcome arrival.

  • Blunt "Yes": Wedge's response to Cloud asking if he's okay after he's fallen several hundred feet from the air:
    Cloud: Wedge, are you okay?!
    Wedge: NO!!! (dies)
  • Chivalrous Pervert: To an extent. Biggs is definitely perverted enough to get turned on by Jessie's voice, but he still gives his life trying to save thousands of innocent lives from Shinra's tyranny.
  • Die Laughing: Jessie dies as she and Cloud share a laugh over Biggs's comment that he loved how her voice makes it sound like she's blowing him, retorting that his dick isn't nearly large enough for that.
  • He Knows Too Much: Wedge joined AVALANCHE by accident after stumbling into their underground base via the secret pinball machine entrance.
  • Intelligible Unintelligible: Jessie speaks like she has a sock in her mouth due to an "alley dentist" appointment. The other characters can somewhat understand her, though Cloud mistakes her saying "My foot is stuck!" for something dirtier.
  • Jerkass: Biggs bets on Cloud dying on his second mission, and he claims he loves the sound of Jessie's voice because it sounds like she's giving him a blowjob.
  • Last Request: As he's dying, Biggs asks Cloud to relay his perverted compliment towards her voice.
  • Mauve Shirt: They may be minor characters, but they have names and noticeable quirks, and the main heroes pay respect to their deaths, undignified as they were.
  • Rump Roast: Wedge claims "pooping will be a trial" after getting his butt singed in the escape from Shinra's factory explosion.
  • Two Guys and a Girl: Apart from the main members of AVALANCHE, Biggs and Wedge are the guys and Jessie is the girl.

    Marlene Wallace
Voiced by: Corinne "Megami33" Sudberg

Barret's eight-year-old adoptive daughter. Despite her age, she's a trained bartender and knows her way around a firearm.

  • Younger Than They Look: Cloud notes in episode 18 that she looks like she's four rather than eight, which is a nod to her canonical age in the original game.

    Tom Lastastaname 
Voiced by: Lyle McDouchebag

The news anchor for Shinra's Inter-News network.

  • Canon Immigrant: He's a character invented by Team Four Star, usually to provide commentary for a few of the game's cinematic minigames.
  • Fantastic Racism: He certainly doesn't seem to think too highly of Moogles, judging from his tone when reporting on their rights for citizenship.
  • Jerkass: Since he's sponsored by Shinra, he definitely has free reign to be as much of an ass as one can get. For instance, he publicly encourages the online harassment of "Private Thunderhead" (a.k.a. Cloud incognito) when he botches his Shinra Day parade march.
  • Punny Name: His last name is a pun on "last name".
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Narrowly averted. He sparks a cyber-bullying campaign against a disguised Cloud, which turns him into an online media sensation that attracts Rufus' attention and gives AVALANCHE an opening to assassinate him. However, Sephiroth's unexpected intervention puts a stop to their plans.

    Elmyra Gainsborough
Voiced by: Sandra "DustyOldRoses" Espinoza

Aerith's adoptive mother.

Voiced by: Jessica Calvello

Aerith's real mother, and one of the last of the ancient Cetra race that once inhabited the Planet.


Introduced in Season 2

Voiced by: Faulerro

A hapless infantryman who accompanied Cloud and Sephiroth's party during their fateful mission to Nibelheim.

Voiced by: Karma Nikhad

Tifa's old teacher in the art of "fisting".

  • Cassandra Truth: He, or rather his fists, were firsthand witnesses to Sephiroth's killing spree, though Cloud didn't believe him at the time.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: He thought more with his fists than his head.
  • Death by Adaptation: He was one of the survivors in Nibelheim and he carried Tifa into Midgar for medical attention, departing to never be seen again. At least he lived longer than running into a burning building and dying.
  • Innocent Innuendo: His fighting academy is known as Zangan's Dungeon of Fisting. And that's not naming some of Tifa's Limit Breaks.
  • Too Dumb to Live: He ran into a burning building, thinking that his fists would put out the fire.

    Mrs. Strife
Voiced by: Marissa Lenti

Cloud's loud and overbearing, yet no less loving, mother. She was one of the casualties of the Nibelheim incident.

    Mr. Lockhart
Voiced by: Edward Bosco

Tifa's over-enthusiastically supportive father. He was personally murdered by Sephiroth.

  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: He openly brags about his daughter's "fisting" expertise in front of her.
  • Doting Parent: He absolutely adored his daughter, no matter how much it embarrassed her.
  • Good Parents: He may have been a dick to Cloud and unintentionally mortified her daughter in public, but he also raised Tifa to be a strong, confident, and independent young woman.
  • It Runs in the Family: Tifa got her "Do me a solid" Catchphrase from him.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He cared so deeply about his daughter that he chewed out Cloud for suggesting she needed his protection on a dangerous mission, which led to a rant about how Cloud never came back to visit despite how often Tifa spoke of him.
  • Posthumous Character: He was murdered by Sephiroth, which emotionally destroyed Tifa and drove her to exact revenge against him.

    Choco Bill and Choco Billy
Choco Bill (left) and Choco Billy (right)
Choco Bill voiced by: Lewis "Linkara" Lovhaug
Choco Billy voiced by: BohBurr

A grandfather/grandson pair of Chocobo farmers who live near the Mythril Mines.

  • Canada, Eh?: They have thick Canadian accents.
  • Captain Obvious: Choco Bill gives out info on how to catch Chocobos after Cloud's party runs into problems where said info would've been useful.
  • Fantastic Drug: The "greens" Choco Billy sells are quite transparently suggested to be Chocobo drugs.
  • Theme Naming: We have Choco Bill and his grandson, Choco Billy.
    Cloud: And let me guess. The dad is Choco William!
    Choco Bill: Choco Billiam, actually.
  • Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Cloud is baffled by the family's bizarre and very limited naming sense.

Voiced by: ElieMonty


The gil-grubbing, ultra-manly manager of the Gold Saucer, the world's greatest (and potentially most crooked) tourist attraction.

  • Adaptational Jerkass: Dio from the games is an Honest Corporate Executive who turns on Cloud's party when Barret is wrongly accused of murder, but later realizes his mistake and helps the party along their journey to make amends. Here, he's thoroughly corrupt and only helps out once Cloud makes a name for himself as the Gold Saucer's Chocobo race champion.
  • Bad Boss: Zigzagged. On the one hand, he rightfully claims he just hired Cait Sith after the latter lied and told Cloud he's worked at the Gold Saucer for years, which Cloud chalks up to Dio never remembering who his employees are. On the other hand, he's relieved that he hired his guards for cheap when he finds them dead, and cracks a joke at their expense a few seconds later.
  • Can't Take Criticism: His response to Cloud having complaints about the Gold Saucer? Siccing giant security robots on him, Aerith, and Cait Sith. To his credit, though, he thinks they're the ones who killed his guards.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: He's the manager of the most prestigious amusement park on the Planet, which he runs by scamming customers into exchanging actual currency for otherwise useless, non-refundable "Gold Points". On top of that, he spends all the gil he gets on a luxurious mansion, got his security for cheap by sucking up to Shinra, and seems more concerned with Cloud's complaints about his management than their supposed murder of his guards.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Exaggerated. He's a greedy extortionist who only hires the cheapest of help, and he tosses anyone who complains about it into Corel Prison. Not to mention, he never gives Cloud and company a chance to testify their innocence when he finds them in a room full of murdered guards. However, once the party wins the Chocobo race, Dio lets bygones be bygones by giving them a full pardon and a coupon for Gold well as his own personal dune buggy and info on where Sephiroth went.

    Mr. Coates
Voiced by: Mike "1KidsEntertainment" Hecht

The head of Corel Prison's "Complaints Department".

  • Dark-Skinned Blond: Cloud is under the impression that he's paid for his work in spray tan.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He's the leader of a prison gang, but that doesn't mean he can stomach his boss's cruelty. He's also horrified when Dyne gets "taken care of" by killing himself, as he literally hoped the party would help him see reason and calm down.
  • Non-Indicative Name: He's the head of Gold Saucer's "Complaints Department"...which is just a name of a prison gang.
  • Punny Name: A dark example. Dyne forces him to wear the coats of his victims, sometimes making him watch as he guns them down.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: He's dressed in a snazzy Giuseppe suit. To his own immense displeasure, it's one of many coats that belong to Dyne's many victims.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: He accidentally creates a power vacuum in Corel Prison after helping Cloud's party figure out that his boss Dyne, not Barret, is responsible for the murders at Gold Saucer, which snowballs into Dyne's suicide.

Voiced by: Sandra "DustyOldRoses" Espinoza

The manager of Gold Saucer's Chocobo racing circuit.

  • Bit Character: The most she does in the story is quickly turn Cloud into Gold Saucer's star Chocobo racer, which gets his party a Cool Car that gets them as far as Cosmo Canyon.
  • Motor Mouth: She speaks a mile a minute, fittingly for a Chocobo racing manager.
  • Southern Belle: She dresses and sounds the part.

    Mr. and Mrs. Fair 

Mr. and Mrs. Fair

Mr. Fair voiced by: Brock Baker
Mrs. Fair voiced by: Marianne Miller

An old couple who cheerfully inhabit the Mako-irradiated ruins of Gongaga Village. They are also the parents of Aerith's old boyfriend, Zack.

  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: They act like a pleasant, old couple, but they have no tact for the suffering going on around them.
  • Get Out!: Their only response after Cloud throws the news of Zack's death in their faces is to "Get the f**k out of our house."
  • Hypocrite: They can dish out rude comments about the dead and grieving, yet their first response to the person who tells them about the death of a family member in an equally apathetic way is to kick them out.
  • Lack of Empathy: They share a laugh at the expense of a woman mourning the death of a loved one, and they consider it a blessing that the Mako reactor failure "only" killed half the town. This bites back hard when Cloud figures they can handle the news of Zack's death.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: They show No Sympathy for their grieving or dying townsfolk, only to get informed of their son's death in the most inconsiderate way possible.
  • Stepford Smiler: Cloud is convinced they only crack jokes to mask their devastation of their ruined hometown.

Voiced by: David "ShockDingo" Dixon

The elder of Cosmo Canyon, Red XIII's adoptive grandfather, and an implied hippie who is well-learned in the history of the Planet.

  • Accidental Misnaming: A frequent victim of this. Among the names Red's friends give him are "Boogabaga", "Bungabunga", and "Booga-baby".
  • Cool Old Guy: He's nothing short of helpful and supportive towards the heroes.
  • Interspecies Adoption: Cloud is relieved that he's not Red's biological grandfather, though he wouldn't be surprised considering Red's sexual tendencies.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: He doesn't mind Red's "experiments". According to him, everyone in Cosmo Canyon practices free love.
  • Mr. Exposition: He explains to the party what the Lifestream is, as well as what the stakes of Shinra's actions are.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: His role as an astronomer and general performance are styled after Neil deGrasse Tyson.
  • Noodle Incident: He's at least familiar with Professor Hojo's name when Aerith brings it up. He refuses to go any further, saying it's "for the best".
  • Poor Communication Kills: He says that he always meant to explain to Red his father's heroic last stand against the Gi tribe as soon as the battle was over. However, he and everyone in Cosmo Canyon got so caught up in the victory celebration that it simply slipped their minds, leaving Red to fester in hatred over his father's supposed cowardice.
  • The Stoner: Just like everyone else who knows about the Lifestream.
  • Strange Minds Think Alike: He compliments Aerith for her knowledge of the Lifestream, calling her a smart young woman, even though she's The Ditz in pretty much every other situation.

Voiced by: Curtis "Takahata101" Arnott

Red XIII's father.

  • And I Must Scream: He's actually still alive while petrified, though his muffled screams for help have fallen on deaf ears, and with everyone convinced he's dead, he likely won't be getting out any time soon.
  • Dirty Coward: Red has this impression of him ever since he disappeared when the Gi tribe attacked Cosmo Canyon, giving him a pathological hatred of Parental Abandonment. Subverted when it's discovered he courageously stood his ground against the enemy and was turned to stone.
  • Taken for Granite: He was skewered by poison darts that turned his body to stone. Unlike the games, however, he's still alive.
  • Walking Spoiler: Not only does his role give away part of Red's Character Development, but it also gives away one of the series' funniest twists.

Introduced in Season 3

Voiced by:

Cid's personal assistant, whom he blames for ruining his dream of going to space, but still keeps around because of her "goddamn tea".

    Godo Kisaragi

Yuffie's deadbeat father and lord of Wutai.


Example of: