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Problematic Real Life sections to bring up after Dec 23:

    Kraken And Leviathan 
  • Leviathan: Whales, obviously. obviously what?
    • A prehistoric whale species called the Livyatan melvillei is very much like its descendant the Sperm Whale in appearance, but is far deadlier, with 14-inch teeth.◊ It is named after the Leviathan from Hebrew mythology, and (because it reminds one of the deadly fictional whale Moby Dick, is also named after that novel's author, Herman Melville. valid
    • The whale Moby Dick from the novel of the same name was based on a real albino sperm whale called Mocha Dick — a 21 meter (70 feet) bull which allegedly survived at least 100 encounters with whalers (destroying about 20 boats in the process) before being slain in 1838 trying to aid a female whose calf had been killed by harpooners. valid
    • Perhaps not only whales; large salt water crocodilians could be inspiration. Also, there is a chance that Mesozoic sea serpents survived and became a basis, but it's unlikely. speculation, natter
    • However, it is possible that fossils of these creatures could also have provided inspiration for the legend, as well as fossils of archaeoceti (ancestral whales such as Basilosaurus). speculation, natter
  • Kraken: The famous Kraken of legend may have been based on real sightings of Giant Squid, now known to be quite real. However, its deep sea-dwelling nature may have hindered it from having been spotted often. should be in the description, and is
    • The Giant Squid can attain truly impressive dimensions; it is about 8–10 meters in length on average, though 13 meter specimens may be entirely possible in the wild. valid
    • The Colossal Squid is even larger, and is the largest cephalopod known (yet). The largest specimen caught was estimated to be 10 meters in length before its tentacles shrank post-mortem. There are indications the species may grow to 14 meters, beaks larger than that of the specimen have been found in the stomachs of sperm whales. valid
    • Huge prehistoric cephalophods include Cameroceras, which looks interesting as it is the largest of the primitive shelled cephalophods, making it appear like a cross between squids and snail. The creature spans up to 9 meters (30 feet) in length.smaller than giant or colossal squid, probably doesn't qualify
  • Others:
  • The largest jellyfish species, the Lion's Mane, varies in size, though large specimens may reach a tremendous 36 Meters (120 feet) in length with its main body at least the size of a man. It is one of the longest animals on the planet. the tentacles that make up most of its size aren't visible in the water, particularly from the surface; not really in the spirit of the trope imo
  • The bizarre and spectacular Deep-Sea Siphonophore◊s definitely deserve a mention — while the Siphonophores you're familiar with are probably the ever-dreaded Portuguese Man o' War, and the By-the-wind-sailor, deep in the ocean lurk some SCARY BIG guys. Being cnidarians, all of them have poisonous stings, some even being dangerous to humans. Fortunately the chance of coming across one is ludicrous, as they are both rare and strictly deep-sea dwellers. general, sensationalist editorializing
    • The deep-sea siphonophore Praya dubia is one of the better known. Praya colonies form long strings of individuals, some colonies have been recorded at 50 meters long — and that's only the ones they've found. The colonies average out at around a length of 40 meters, though there have been unconfirmed sightings of far longer colonies. a colony of tiny animals isn't something i would describe as a leviathan
    • This one Appears to be related to the Praya dubia and features a beautiful red glow. The size on this one appears unclear — some shrimplike creatures dart past the camera but they seem to be much closer to the camera. irrelevant natter, weblinks are not context
    • This monster of a Siphonophore looks like something straight out of a cosmic horror story and has the dimensions to match — though not stated in the video this unidentified specimen was later found to be 130 meters long. Stop and think about how big that is. The only reason Siphonophores aren't officially considered the largest living animal is because they're actually made up of tens of to thousands of smaller organisms. again with the sensationalist editorializing, get outta here
  • The Whale Shark is also one of the largest animals in the sea. It is the largest shark species (apart from the extinct megalodon). Most specimens grow to 10 meters (33 feet) in length, with larger individuals reaching 12 meters (40 feet). maybe valid? whale sharks are gentle and won't try to eat humans, though
  • The giant oarfish◊ definitely deserves a mention, as it seems to look straight out of a mythology textbook, looking chillingly similar to most depictions of the Leviathan. This enormous fish may grow to 11 meters (36 feet). It is the longest existing bony fish and may be the source of many "sea serpent" sightings. valid
  • Prehistoric creatures — the Earth's extensive history is home to many truly gigantic extinct sea creatures. Several are listed below: this can be trimmed, unnecessary sub-bulleting
    • Fish:
      • The largest fish of all time would have been either Megalodon or Leedsichthys; the former means "big tooth"◊ and is much like a super-sized great white shark that fed on whales and had enough bite force to crush a small car; the latter is the largest known bony fish of all time, and may have grown to 16 meters (50 feet) in length. 'valid
      • The Dunkleosteous was also quite large, and very monstrous; reaching sizes of 9 meters (30 feet), this predatory bony fish is hypothesized to have been a voracious cannibal. Its bite force is estimated to have been the greatest of all vertebrates in history. valid
    • Marine reptiles:
      • The Shastasaurus is the largest sea-dwelling reptile discovered thus far, and possibly one of the largest prehistoric sea creatures; it likely reached lengths of 21 meters (69 feet), roughly the size of a sperm whale. The creature itself looks somewhat like a cross between a dolphin and a dinosaur; it belongs to the group of ichthyosaurs, which are large, fish-like marine reptiles. valid
      • The mosasaurs probably come in at a close second; the largest species, Mosasaurus hoffmani, reached a length of at least 13 meters (43 feet), with some estimates pushing it to 18 meters (60 feet) — roughly the size of the mosasaur in Jurassic World. It was one of the ancient seas' superpredators. valid
      • Pliosaurus funkei, nicknamed Predator X, was one of several giant pliosaurs, another group of large predatory marine reptiles, and they often reached 10 meters (33 feet) in length. valid
      • The Elasmosaurus is pretty much a sea-dwelling sauropod in appearance. It looks exactly like a Loch Ness monster (though it could not stick its head out of the water's surface and was a saltwater, rather than freshwater, creature). It and many related elasmosaurs could grow up to 12 meters (40 feet) in length. chained sinkhole but example seems valid
  • The Kraken Mare is the largest known (methane and other hydrocarbons) sea of Titan, the largest moon of Saturn. It is not known if it would have an alien, methane-breather, equivalent of the monsters described here. what does this have to do with the trope?
  • In 2021 the National Hockey League is set to welcome its newest team: the Seattle Kraken. Time will tell if they become metaphoric terrors or not. again, has nothing to do with the trope

    No Party Like A Donner Party 
  • The Trope Namer is the Donner Party, a group of US pioneers trying to settle in California. In May 1846, they took a shortcut that turned out to be a longcut, which left them in the position of trying to cross the Sierra Nevada mountain range during a very harsh winter. By October 1846, they were Snowed-In high up in the Sierras, atop what later was named Donner Pass. When the food ran out (which didn't take long), many of the party resorted to eating their dead (there were allegations that some members didn't wait for people to die of natural causes). While most everybody chose to wait it out, a party of messengers set out to seek help; they reached civilization in January. It took four separate rescue parties to evacuate the remaining survivors, the last of whom did not reach shelter until April 1847. Interestingly, it turns out that one of the Washoe tribes in the region actually encountered the Donners after they were snowed in and attempted to aid them with gifts of food, but were driven off by gunfire. Between this and observations of acts of cannibalism among the Party, the Washoes simply avoided them. valid, duh, trope namer
  • In 1845, a British Naval expedition attempting to find the fabled "Northwest Passage" through the Arctic, under the command of Captain John Franklin, ended in disaster, with the loss of both ships and all 129 men. While the exact circumstances of their fate are unknown, various search expeditions over a century later found scattered clues left behind from the voyage. In 1992, a modern expedition found a mass grave of the crew on King's Island, Canada, containing over 400 bones. Forensic testing of the bones showed conclusive evidence that the at least some of the crew had resorted to cannibalism in their final days. valid
  • A more modern well-known case is the story of Uruguayan Air Force Flight 571note  often referred to in pop culture, incorrectly, as "that soccer team that crashed in the mountains". Basically a rugby team chartered a flight from Uruguay to Chile and as a result of the pilots miscalculating their position, they crashed in the middle of the Andes mountains. Because the pilots had given their position incorrectly, search and rescue planes were unable to find them. With no food available, they were forced to eat the dead (their friends and family) to survive. A few were unable to bring themselves to do this and died of starvation. The ordeal finally ended when two of the men were eventually able to make the trek back to civilization and send a rescue party to the right place to pick up the remaining survivors. Only 16 of the 45 crew and passengers survived, having spent a total of 72 days in the mountains. Popularly dramatized in the film Alive! valid
  • The case of R v. Dudley and Stephens, where three shipwrecked sailors in a lifeboat murdered a fourth, started eating him and were rescued less than a week later. It's often taught in law-related classes, both because it established the important historical precedent that in English law necessity is not grounds for justifiable homicidenote  and because the teachers probably figure that at least it's one case the students are sure to remember. maybe valid? would almost describe this as a subversion since they were rescued so quickly it wasn't out of necessity, but tropes can't be subverted in real life
  • The other well-known case of cannibalism at sea occurred in the boats from the whale-hunter Essex (which was rammed and sunk by a whale on November 20, 1820; Melville didn't make that up). Though the crew was able to pack some provisions prior to leaving their sinking ship in three small whaleboats, their food soon ran out. Following a brief stop at the unoccupied Henderson Island, the boats headed out to sea again in hope of finding rescue, where the crew were forced to resort to cannibalism as the men began dying off. On one boat, containing four men (one of them the ship's captain, George Pollard), the situation was so dire that the men decided they couldn't wait for someone to die in order to avoid universal starvation. They chose to draw lots to determine who would die, and then drew lots again to determine who the executioner would be. Only two of the three whaleboats were found by passing ships, containing five survivors. Another three men who had chosen to stay on Henderson Island were later picked up as well, for a total of eight survivors out of the 20-man crew. After the rescues, the officers in charge of the boat went back to sea and had little difficulty filling their crews, which is usually taken as a sign that their actions were accepted as necessary. Ironically, the boats took a longer way to the land (southwards and then eastwards to South America instead of Marquesas Islands lying to the west) because the sailors feared that the islands might be inhabited by cannibal tribes. valid, needs a trim
  • Survivors of the Dutch ship Rooseboom, which was sunk by a Japanese submarine while carrying troops and civilians being evacuated from Singapore in February 1942, may have resorted to cannibalism as they drifted for nearly 1,000 miles in an overcrowded lifeboat. "may have" - speculation
  • In fact resorting to cannibalism during or after a maritime incident was prevalent enough that in England it was given the Unusual Euphemism of "The Custom of the Sea". general, maybe could be put in the description?
  • In Russia after Red October. During the Russian Civil War, there were many reports of starving villages (their crops having been taken by the Red and White armies) eating their dead or even selling salted body parts. general
  • It happened in Ukraine during the Holodomor, a horrific famine from 1932-1933, caused or at least made worse by Stalin's forced collectivization policy. By some accounts it was so common that signs were posted reading, "Eating Dead Children Is Barbaric". general
  • An urban legend said this was commonplace in the mid to late forties in Germany (both East and West). Multiple versions exist, some detail people willingly choosing to sacrifice themselves or their relatives, while others detail cannibal gangs roaming the streets at night preying on homeless people, drunks, or schoolchildren who stayed out too late. This hasn't been confirmed or denied. urban legend, aka not real, aka gtfo
  • Under Tsarist Russia, the Famine of 1601-1603 (partially caused by a volcanic eruption in Peru), and the Famine of 1891-1892 (caused by weather and Alexander III's incompetent and oppressive government), had this effect in some areas. general
  • The Siege of Leningrad, 1941-44, but especially during the first winter. The mass chaos caused by the outbreak of the war, and the speed of the German advance, resulted in the city facing a severe lack of food stores when the Germans arrived and closed off land access; students in boarding 'Trade Schools' and single-parent families were disproportionately affected. Rations were reduced to 1000 calories daily for children and workers in 'non-essential' industries - versus 1500 calories daily for soldiers and workers in essential industriesnote . The NKVD made 2015 arrests, many of whom had no previous criminal records. The majority of the arrests were merely 'corpse-eaters', those who consumed the bodies of the already dead, with only a few being charged with 'person-eating' (murdering for the purpose of cannibalism). general
    • First cases on 13/12/1941: Mother smothered 18-month-old daughter to feed self and three older children; 26 y.o. man, fired from tyre-factory, murdered and ate 18 y.o. room-mate; metalworker (and Party member) and son killed two female refugees with a hammer, hid body parts in shed; unemployed plumber killed wife to feed teenage son and nieces, hiding remains in toilets of Lenenergo workers' hostel. valid
    • Senior supply officer Vasili Yershov of 56th Rifle Division, 55th Army, (stationed in Leningrad district): "In early January 1942, the divisional commander started getting urgent calls from regimental and battalion commanders, saying that this or that group of soldiers hadn't been fed, that the [divisional] carrier hadn't appeared with his canteen [containing the soup-ration], having apparently been killed by German snipers. Thorough checks revealed that [...] soldiers were leaving their trenches early in the morning to meet the carriers, stabbing them to death, and taking the food [...] cutting off pieces of human flesh and eating those too. To give you some idea of the numbers I can tell you that in my division [Soviet combat unit with average of 7000 men, total Soviet combat forces in Leningrad district c.300,000 men] in the winter of 1941-2, on the front line alone - taking no account of units in the rear - there were about twenty such cases." general
  • Alferd (or Alfred) Packer was an incompetent mountain guide who ate the rest of his party when they became snowbound in the Rockies due to his bad organization. At his trial, the judge lamented: "There were only seven Democrats in Hinsdale County and you ate five of them!" The student canteen at the University of Colorado (Boulder) is the Alfred Packer Grill; motto: "Have a friend for lunch." Accounts vary regarding the exact circumstances of the event (not surprising, as Packer was the sole survivor). Authorities believed he murdered them all himself, while Packer always maintained that it was a partymate who murdered the others and tried to kill Packer himself before he was able to kill him in self-defense, with the cannibalism a simple matter of survival. Amusingly, after serving a 40 year sentence for manslaughter note , Packer was said to have been a vegetarian for the rest of his life. maybe valid, needs a trim for irrelevant details
  • Alexander Pearce, an Irish convict, was hanged in 1824 for cannibalism and murder, having eaten his comrades after they escaped from a Penal Colony in Van Diemen's Land (now Tasmania). Twice. no evidence it was out of necessity
  • When the French frigate Medusa ran aground in 1816, the upperclass passengers were loaded into the lifeboats, while the remaining 150 sailors, traders and labourers were forced onto a makeshift raft. Fearful that the desperate survivors would slow them down, the lifeboat passengers soon cut the tow ropes and set the raft adrift in the open ocean. Violence, mayhem and cannibalism soon overran the helpless raft, and only fifteen people survived to be rescued. This horrific incident was immortalized by Theodore Gericault in his 1818-19 mural The Raft of the Medusa. valid
  • There's widespread evidence that cannibalism against the wealthy and educated was practiced in China's Guangxi province during the Cultural Revolution. It's vehemently denied by the Chinese government, but cheerfully acknowledged by (some) residents of the province. maybe valid? was it done out of necessity?
  • Defectors from North Korea have said that cannibalism was practiced during a 1996 famine. It's also been alleged to have happened during other periods of famine in the country over last several decades. first half maybe valid, "alleged" part should be cut - we don't trope allegations
  • Chroniclers reported many, many incidents of cannibalism during Europe's Great Famine of 1315-1317. general
  • Believed to have happened to the native inhabitants of Rapa Nui (Easter Island). "believed to" not belong on this page, speculation and general
  • Related in contemporary documents from the late phase of the Thirty Years' War, when famine affected wide regions of Germany. As described in C. V. Wedgwood's The Thirty Years' War: valid
    "In Alsace the bodies of criminals were torn from the gallows and devoured; in the whole Rhineland they watched the graveyards against marauders who sold the flesh of the newly buried for food; at Zweibrucken a woman confessed to having eaten her child. In Fulda and Coburg and near Frankfurt and the great refugee camp, men went in terror of being killed and eaten by those maddened by hunger."
  • There are many accounts of cannibalism in the Jamestown colony in Virginia during the "starving time" of 1609-10. Recently unearthed remains from the colony site of a 14-year-old girl whose body was butchered with knives and cleavers after her death reveal that the Jamestown colonists did indeed resort to cannibalism. valid
  • When the Chinese city of Suiyang (now part of Shangqiu) was besieged during the An Lushan Rebellion, the city's garrison and inhabitants resorted to eating their dead to survive, later moving to eating the living. Allegedly, no one rebelled against their grim fates and odds. The commanding general Zhang Xun was commemorated for withstanding siege for a whole two years, despite the mass cannibalism, and the length of the siege is believed to have been key for the Tang dynasty's eventual victory over the Yan state. valid
  • Ref. Monty Python sketch where an irate Royal Navy officer insists that "we're dealing with it - it's the bloody RAF who have got the problem!" (See above). In 1942, Fleet Air Arm officer Lieut. Charles Lamb was in a prisoner-of-war camp run by the Vichy French. As camp provost (in charge of discipline among prisoners) he interviewed a newly-arrived Royal Air Force crew, who the French had discovered drifting in the Med for over a month after being shot down. Lamb remarked that their make of plane normally has a four man crew but only three had arrived as prisoners. The three survivors looked at each other, and confessed to Lamb there had indeed been a wounded fourth crew member. At least at first... implies the trope instead of coming out and saying it, sensationalist, references another entry; needs a rewrite badly
  • During the island hopping campaigns of World War II (see War in Asia and the Pacific for more details), Japanese soldiers were known to resort to this. Their supply lines were typically poor, especially with any Japanese attempt to reinforce them by sea or air being frequently frustrated by US Air Force and Naval blockades. As a result, deceased comrades would be eaten. To make it more horrific, however, this was a fate that befell some unfortunate prisoners of war, some of whom were still alive when subjected to this treatment. One infamous case was when the Japanese garrison on the island of Chichi Jima executed and ate Navy fliers who were shot down. (Freakishly enough, the one pilot who was rescued by the US Navy was George H. W. Bush). 30 of the Japanese garrison were tried, and five convicted. It has also been alleged that instead of being killed straight away, some were kept alive - to keep the meat fresh. probably should be trimmed to just the Chichi Jima incident since that's specific and verified
    • Not all Japanese Garrisons took this route. Those that were stranded at Rabaul did something remarkable. They managed to re-organize themselves into a farming community and grew their own food. By the end of the war Rabaul had been turned into a self-sufficient colony and, by all accounts, were better fed than most Japanese troops. irrelevant natter
  • According to medieval chronicles, the knights participating in the First Crusade were so hungry and undersupplied at the Siege of Ma'arra that they resorted to eating meat from the backsides of slain Saracen warriors, and even "when it was not yet roasted enough by the fire, they devoured it". Some sources, including Cracked.com, even claim that the knights roasted and ate babies! maybe valid but could be less sensationalist
  • This was the "Modest Proposal" suggested in Jonathan Swift's essay of the same name. but that's not this trope because it wasn't out of necessity, and even if it was it would go under Literature
  • If multiple chickens are put in a very small space and not fed regularly enough, they will sometimes rip apart and eat each other. Sometimes you don't even have to starve them - a hen with a bleeding injury should be kept away from other hens, who might suddenly decide she looks like food. "cannibalism happens", not out of necessity
  • According to some accounts, cannibalism was rampant in Bergen-Belsen concentration camp as some inmates resorted to taking the most extreme measures to survive. maybe valid
  • When the Ugandan city of Masaka was put under siege by rebels during the Ugandan Bush War, some of the soldiers in the city's garrison turned to cannibalism to sate their gnawing hunger. uncited, can't find any evidence of this, only of cannibals being prosecuted as criminals in Uganda

    Bullet Catch 
  • A classic stage magician's gag is appearing to catch a bullet, usually in the teeth (Hans Moretti used to do it sometimes) or on a china plate (Chung Ling Soo died when this went wrong). Paul Daniels recreated the effect safely in the '80s, and Penn & Teller upped the stakes to a simultaneous double bullet-catch during their run at the Rio. The principal method was to retrieve the bullet from the barrel using a trick ramrod, after the bullet had been marked in some way. Anyone familiar with Gun Safety will spot immediately that just because you have removed the bullet does not actually make the weapon safe - any debris that happens to be left in the barrel is still entirely capable of being lethal. However, most of the weapons used in the tricks are pyrotechnic models, not capable of firing a real bullet even if one was inserted. maybe valid, needs a trim
    Announcer: They say it's impossible for a man to catch a bullet in his teeth.
    BANG!
    Announcer: And they were right! It is impossible!
    • David Blane did a more elaborate version of this, where he used a metal cup in his mouth attached to a mouth guard to catch the bullet. In 2017, he got injured performing the trick when the cup broke, according to the news. valid, needs a rewrite
    • Breaking the Magician's Code: Magic's Biggest Secrets Finally Revealed explains this the same way, while using a pane of glass to make the illusion convincing. The pane of glass is, of course, rigged to self-destruct when the trigger is pulled. is this relevant? genuinely not sure
  • One mobster by the name of Carmine "The Snake" Persico built up a reputation as a man that was hard to kill. In one noteworthy incident, the car he was in was riddled with bullets. One of the spent rounds lodged itself in his mouth, and he spat it out when he got up. Thus, Carmine became known among his compatriots as a man who could literally catch bullets. unintentional but maybe valid since he invoked it about himself?
  • One story/legend attributed to the Wild West era is of a magician/con artist who goes around town and starts up an act where he bets bystanders that he can catch a bullet. A person in the crowd comes forward, offers to do so, takes aim and fires. The man catches the bullet and takes his cash. Of course, the guy with the gun is a plant, the gun fires blanks and the bullet is a pre-fired round manipulated with some theatrics and slight of hand. This goes well until someone else in the crowd decides to engage in a bit of "audience participation" with a real gun. He didn't catch that one. apocryphal
    • This might be the story of Raoul Curran, who died in 1880 when an audience member stood up and shot him. Link here. "might be", relies on a weblink for context
  • In 2009, a woman survived being shot with a handgun because the bullet lodged itself in her hair and failed to even break her skin. not intentional, not in one of the usual places

    The Three Faces Of Adam 
  • The Chicago Bulls: Dennis Rodman (the Hunter, ironic as he was the elder of the three), Scottie Pippen (The Lord) and Michael Jordan (The Prophet). ZCE
  • The painting known as 'The Allegory of Time Governed by Prudence' (which now serves as the Trope Image), thought to be of the artist Titian, his son, and his young nephew, provides a good visual example of the trope: [1]◊ weblink ZCE
  • The three lead singers of Iron Maiden over the years, interestingly enough following the correct order. Paul Di’Anno is The Hunter, Bruce Dickinson is The Lord, and Blaze Bayley is The Prophet. ZCE

    Underling With An F In PR 
  • The Zimmermann Telegram was a secret German proposal to ally with Mexico during World War I, promising to return the 1838 borders in exchange for Mexico declaring war on the US (preventing them from sending supplies to Europe). As the US could not say how they got the telegram without revealing that the British had cracked German codes, the telegram was accused of being a British False Flag Operation... until Arthur Zimmermann (the man who'd written the telegram in the first place) helpfully told everyone that it was very much real. The US quickly went to war with Germany, who'd started sinking American ships, while Mexico made no attempt at reconquering its former territories (being in the middle of a civil war at the time. The Mexican President actually did have his generals contemplate attacking the U.S., but they all pointed out that it would've been suicidal). military cruft/natter, might be valid but needs a trim
  • If you have a product or service to sell, learn from the Ocean Marketing debacle and never hire this guy here to do any of your P.R. work. weblink ZCE; also, i remember this case, and the guy's not anybody's minion
  • Urban Legend holds that when the French president Félix Faure went Out with a Bang, the priest brought in to administer the last rites asked the police officer at the door "Le président a t-il toujours sa connaissance?" (meaning "is the president still conscious?", but can also be interpreted as "is the president's acquaintance still there?"). To which the officer replied, "Oh no, your reverence, she already went out the back door!" urban legend, doesn't go under real life, not sure it's a valid example anyway

    Ridiculous Procrastinator 
  • If you are reading TV Tropes right now, odds are you're procrastinating. Truth in Television if there ever was such a thing. In fact, most Pot Holes to Ridiculous Procrastinator are not from example pages or character pages, but from Troper pages. (Bonus points if you are reading this page to procrastinate.) To try and get over it, put on a classic rock album and make your own Hard-Work Montage. U2, Jethro Tull, and Styx are good options. And then listen to it while browsing TVTropes. general, addresses reader directly, pimps some editor's favorite bands
  • A popular line of T-shirts carried the slogans "I'll Procrastinate Tomorrow" and "Procrastinators Unite Tomorrow".
  • Another T-shirt reads "Top Ten Reasons I Procrastinate: 1)"
  • Yet another T-shirt reads "I Have Not Yet Begun To Procrastinate". all these T-shirts should be combined into a single entry, but then it'd be general, so cut
  • An article by Terry Pratchett, describing how he went about writing a novel, said that in the old days all writers could do that counted as "work" but wasn't actually writing was change the typewriter ribbons and clean the "e" with a pin. In the computer age, however, you can spend hours writing macros that would speed up your writing by a couple of minutes. And if you get bored with that, you can read anything that looks interesting, which is called "research". valid
  • Tim Urban, who did a TED talk on procrastination, has admitted to making almost the whole talk in 14 days (when he had 6 months). weblink ZCE, potholes a NRLEP trope on a real person's name
  • Douglas Adams: "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by". The reason the first Hitchhiker's book ends where it does is that at that point his editor lost patience with all the missed deadlines and told him to just finish the page he was on. According to The Salmon of Doubt, he once took an impromptu trip to Australia to comparatively test-drive a new underwater vehicle and a stingray for an article so that he could procrastinate on another one. Similarly, he once hiked up Mt. Kilimanjaro — spending a part of a trip in a rhino suit — for similar purposes (though that was also for charity). During the writing of Mostly Harmless, he was locked in his hotel room by his editor and was only allowed out for the occasional walk. During the radio series, the cast were sometimes being handed just-finished script pages immediately before (or during) recording. valid, needs a trim
  • J. R. R. Tolkien was rather guilty of this. A number of potential academic collaborations ended up going nowhere. He once predicted in 1937 he'd have the Hobbit sequel finished by spring next year. It would not be completed until 1949 with the appendixes still being edited in 1955 and a proposed index of names never finished. In Tolkien's case it was less because he delayed and more because he got sidetracked by new ideas and avenues of exploration instead of focusing on the main point. The Silmarillion was never finished in his lifetime as he kept tinkering with the underlying philosophy and core concepts until his death. not really procrastination, as he was still writing them
  • Frank Frazetta did almost all of his work within a day of their deadlines. While the finished product was always top-notch, it would take him several days to recover from exhaustion. apocryphal, maybe valid
  • Neil Gaiman tells a story about being at Harlan Ellison's house at the same time as an editor who had come to collect a new piece that Ellison had promised her for an anthology. Gaiman said that Ellison pulled him aside and told him to keep the editor distracted while Ellison finished writing the story. valid, and hilarious
    • Two of Ellison's most well-regarded stories "'Repent, Harlequin!' Said the Ticktockman", and "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" were each written the night before their deadlines. indentation, apocryphal
  • Pinball artist and designer Python Anghelo was known within Williams Electronics for waiting at least three days before the deadline to finish the artwork for a project. valid? is 3 days ridiculous enough?
  • Akira Toriyama admits to and was hated by his editors for this when writing Dragon Ball procrastinating all of his work for the week by watching TV or making models until the last two days when he'd suddenly realize he had to draw and ink that week's issue and write the next storyboard. Oddly enough other mangakas saw him as a prodigy for being able to do a week's worth of work in a day or two and with the end result being so damn good to boot. Especially since he didn't plan out any of the story in advance and made it up as he went. valid
  • The cardinals electing The Pope used to be this. The record goes to the election of Gregorius X, which took almost three years (1006 days to be exact. Partially Justified by the fierce political divisions between pro-French and pro-Empire cardinals and the first two compromise candidates refusing by means of running away from the city, but even then the cardinals did not meet every day), and would have taken more time had the people of Viterbo (the place where the cardinals had congregated) not decided that enough was enough and locked them in the Palazzo dei Papi ("Palace of the Popes"), denied them food other than bread and water, and finally removed the roof — to say nothing of the political pressure and outright threats the crowned heads of Europe used to "convince" the cardinals to just hurry up and decide already. That election will always hold the record because Gregorius X put into law the means the people of Viterbo used to hurry up the cardinals (besides the removing the roof bit — which was too expensive — and the political pressure — which he couldn't control but could rely on anyway, replacing them with a confiscation of whatever income they were supposed to receive during the election). rambly, general, i don't know if it's really procrastination? they were still voting, they just couldn't agree
  • The horror author T.E.D. Klein has admitted to absolutely hating writing to the point he decided he preferred working a 9-5 job. He started his second novel, Nighttown, in the eighties, and hopes to finish it now that he's reached retirement age. not procrastination, really, is it?
  • Mark Twain: "Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow." can go on the Quotes page
  • ADHD comes with executive dysfunction which can cause people with the condition to put off tasks, even tasks they enjoy and have no reason not to actively just do, and often times simply forget to do it. However, it's not always quite the same as active procrastination, as the issue isn't that the sufferer actively puts off the task (though they may or may not also do that) but rather that they simply can't get themselves started on the task no matter how much they try. Still, to an outsider, it can look like this. general, armchair psychology
  • Autistic inertia is a widely-reported but scarcely-researchednote  phenomenon among autistic individuals in which they find it difficult to start, stop, or switch tasks, even if it involves switching to one that they actively enjoy. Like executive dysfunction in ADHD, the phenomenon is not synonymous with active procrastination, but rather the result of a brain-body disconnect present across multiple aspects of autism, but it can look like this to an outsider. general, armchair psychology
  • Excessive procrastination may be a symptom of depression for some sufferers, as depression is notorious for causing sufferers to lose interest in things they once enjoyed or were active in. Unfortunately, it's one of the most commonly overlooked symptoms because to someone unfamiliar with depression, it comes off as pure laziness. It's not so much they're trying to procrastinate as it is they simply don't have the energy. general, armchair psychology
  • Gioachino Rossini was infamous for procrastinating to a ridiculous degree; he claimed to have composed The Barber Of Seville in less than two weeks, and wrote the famous overture for Wilhelm Tell on the day of the premiere. valid
  • Peter Gabriel is one by his own admission. Similar to Douglas Adams above, So producer Daniel Lanois resorted to locking Gabriel in the studio to get him to finish the album. valid, needs to cut reference to previous entry

    Dropped Glasses 
  • For most people, having your glasses off is just blurry, but not necessarily to the point they can't operate in general. While walking down the street a person without their glasses may not be able to read "stop" on a stop sign, but they can see the big, blurry red thing and can tell they're at an intersection, so the fact that it's a stop sign isn't much of a logical leap. The blurriness is just like an out-of-focus camera, only it's stereoscopic — some blurs are closer than others. could be in description, but is irrelevant natter as an example
  • That said, while you may be able to function to some extent without your glasses, actually finding the dropped glasses can be a real pain — your brain is constantly suggesting you put your glasses on to expedite the search. Glasses are thin, often dark-colored, and blend in with so many things. If they fall off your nightstand, they tend to fall in the narrow spot between the bed and the stand, making you fumble around for them in the dark (or dim light), while half awake. Many people who have very bad eyesight try to keep a spare or old pair in a drawer where they can be easily found to expedite finding their lost current pair of glasses. irrelevant natter
  • And Knowing Is Half the Battle: Keep your old pair of glasses somewhere you can always find them so when you do drop your glasses when you're at home, you can see clearly to find them. There is nothing more embarrassing/annoying than fumbling about and having your brain screaming "You'd find them better if you had your glasses on" at you. irrelevant natter

    Flaming Sword 
  • An audio-animatronic show at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas has an AA with a sword that lights on fire at some point. Malfunctions have results in the AA's clothing and skin mold catching on fire. valid, but it's a show, so is it really real life? it's real fire, i guess
  • In the World War II heraldic emblem of the SHAEF. a picture of a flaming sword is not really an example
  • Another flaming sword is featured on the coat of arms of Marshal Auguste Marmont. same as previous example
  • The flameberge plays with this: It has an undulating blade that looks like a flame, but is otherwise not actually on fire. first of all, it's spelled "flamberge", and second of all if a curvy blade is all it takes why aren't krises listed here too? this is a real stretch

    Draw Sword Draw Blood 
  • Although a popular legend states that a Gurkha "never sheathes his blade without first drawing blood" this is in fact untrue, and the kukri is most commonly employed as a multi-use utility tool rather like a machete. There is no requirement to prick yourself or anyone else before sheathing the blade. However there have been instances of Gurkhas slicing their fingers with it as a practical joke to impress outsiders with their ferocity. It's also been theorized that the "must taste blood" was something that annoyed Gurkhas started telling tourists, to make them stop asking to see the kukris. general, aversion
  • Many Sikhs carry a small steel knife known as a kirpan, as a reminder and a means to protect the innocent from harm. Periodically this has to be taken out and sharpened, but as the blade supposedly cannot be unsheathed unless it is to draw blood, the sharpener supposedly has to nick a thumb or finger with it before putting it away. This, too is a myth. In reality, while the kirpan is a holy symbol that should only be drawn either for maintenance, to defend oneself or another, or to cut the prasad (a religious offering of food), drawing blood is not necessary. general, aversion
  • Ditto samurai. While some Japanese folklore features the trope, e.g. the Hungry Weapon legend surrounding the swords forged by 16th century smith Muramasa Sengo, real-life samurai were as aware of the safety issues as the Gurkhas and Sikhs. general, aversion
  • This trope is often humorously applied to slipjoint pocketknives, as the springs that stabilize the blades in the open and closed positions have the unfortunate side effect of making it very easy to accidentally cut yourself while closing the blade. "bad knife design" isn't this trope

    Platonic Cave 
  • Several physicists have suggested ontologies that Plato would have been proud of: need input on these, not sure if they're within the bounds of the trope or not
    • Cosmologist Paul Davies, along with a good number of other scientists, philosophers and theologians, believes that the universe is nothing more than a very powerful quantum-digital computer. He even proposed an experiment that could be performed pending developments in computer engineering.
    • Max Tegmark thinks that only math exists, and that what we perceive as real, is nothing more than equations tricking themselves into thinking that they exist in a real world.
    • Probably weirdest of all, after considering the philosophical consequences of the violation of Bell's Theorem, Bernard d 'Espagnat concluded that the Laws of Physics are nothing more than the shadows of a panentheistic god.
    • It was discovered in quantum mechanics that fundamental particles (quarks, electrons, photons etc.) are "point particles", particles which have no physical extension in 3D space and consequently occupy none. This would make atomic structures no longer mostly empty space, but entirely empty space. One proposed solution is that the basis of reality is not matter but information, and that the basis of a particle is a quantity of tiny empty space that has been given certain properties and parameters that effect a spherical radius of miniscule empty space. Who or what is "programming" the universe is naturally very hotly debated.
  • Pythagoras believed that numbers were the true nature of everything. This became an empirical theory by Isaac Newton, who would codify how to use mathematics to describe physics. but it doesn't change the nature of the world, it just describes it more effectively
  • In a very real sense, we don't perceive anything but shadows. You think you see other people, but that's just electromagnetic waves stimulating your retina. What you hear is just molecular vibrations. What you feel is just pressure picked up by your nerves. Humans do not have one single sense that directly perceives how we interpret the data we receive from the environment. In other words, You Cannot Grasp the True Form of everything around you, and what you see is just an illusion created by the brain trying to make sense out of everything. in a very real sense, this is very bad semantical philosophy; our senses still correspond to objective reality unless something goes wrong with them. also it thinks it's way more profound than it is
  • The Balinese believe something very similar to this. Everything we see and experience is a reflection of the real world. The sacred theater of Bali includes wayang (reflection) plays using flat puppets made of leather behind a lit screen, so all you see is their shadows. general? if not, belongs under religion
  • Some Native American tribe believe this also. To get into the real world, you have to dream. Crazy Horse was one of many holy men known for the ability to be in both worlds at once. some Native American tribe believe this is a poorly written general example
  • The Brain In A Vat, a concept where, if your brain was floating in a vat of life-supporting fluid, and wired up to a supercomputer designed to simulate reality, processing output from your brain and responding with appropriate input, there would be absolutely no way at all for you to determine that this was the case. general, hypothetical
  • Similar to the above is the concept of the Boltzmann Brain. In certain models of the universe, most human brains, likely including your own, would be the result of particles completely by chance crashing together into the shape of a brain rather than being born as part of a human the normal way. These brains would have a complete set of false memories of being human and would die immediately after being born never knowing what happened. general, hypothetical
  • The color magenta is something your brain makes up when it sees red light and purple light at the same time. There is no "magenta" wavelength. ... ok? it's still a color that exists
  • The term woke originally referred to this, using the metaphor of "waking up" to see the world the way it truly is to describe gaining the full-awareness regarding the social injustices present in the world. "Woke" is an African-American variant of "woken" and was coined in its present use in the 2010s by activists trying to promote awareness of police brutality against Black people and other injustice toward the African-American community. Over time the term expanded to also include awareness of other issues such as sexism and transphobia. However, the term now is mainly used ironically to describe people who have delusions of social awareness, such as people who are against racism yet hold very racist beliefs. general, very ROCEJ-skirting

Miscellaneous corrections, suggestions, etc that need input

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