Running Gag / The Golden Girls

General

• Having guests stay the night and the girls fighting over which of them will share their bed to free up a bed for the visitors.
• When some of the characters are in the kitchen late at night talking about what is keeping them up, another character will walk in and receive a snarky response when they ask if the other characters "couldn't sleep".
• Ask a Stupid Question... borders on Once per Episode. It once got a doozy of a Lampshade Hanging.
  Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
  Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.

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Blanche

• Blanche constantly lies about her age and insists she's younger that she really is.
• Blanche keeps coming up with different times and locations that she supposedly lost her virginity.

Dorothy

• The other women making fun of Dorothy's datelessness and unattractiveness.

Rose

• Rose's outrageous stories from her Cloudcuckooland hometown of St. Olaf, where animals are treated as people and nearly all things are Serious Business.
• Rose being hit with a newspaper/magazine by Dorothy when she says something particularly outrageous and being told to "Shut up, Rose!"
• Rose dyeing her hair. She'll insist until she's blue in the face that she's a natural blonde, but her roommates aren't fooled. Every time the subject of Rose's hair color comes up, she finds a way to dodge it.
  Rose: Looking good isn't that important to me.
  Dorothy: Rose, what are you talking about? You wear makeup. You even dye your hair.
  Rose: [guiltily looking away from the others while sipping her coffee] This is my hair's natural color.
  Sophia: Yeah, and John Madden is a finicky eater.
• Rose using various words from her native tongue in conversation without explanation, leaving the others to speculate on the meaning.

Sophia

• Sophia complaining about food getting stuck in her teeth/dentures, usually corn.
  Sophia: Dorothy, when you get around my age two things happen. One, you get more intuitive about the weather and two, corn becomes your enemy.
  Sophia: Ribs, great! Why don't you just kick the dentures out of my mouth?!
• Sophia's Toilet Humor, often centering around being a Gasshole or certain foods turning her into a Gasshole
  Sophia: Every morning at seven, like clockwork, I pee. Unfortunately, I don't get up until eight.
  Sophia: [she's just eaten kaldolmar, a Scandinavian dish made with cabbage] Cabbage she serves me! In ten minutes I could be skywriting!
• Sophia beginning every story from her past with the words "Picture it: [Location], [Year]", which often turn out to be made up, exaggerated, or completely irrelevant to the situation. Dorothy calls her out on it often.
  • Sophia ending her stories with …And That Little Girl Was Me, and claiming that celebrities were involved.
• Sophia begging for or stealing money from Dorothy.
  • Sophia's inclination to drink liquor and gamble, usually with the money she stole from Dorothy.
• Sophia's constant acrimony for Shady Pines, an alleged Bleak Abyss Retirement Home she despises. Whenever Sophia does or intends to do something particularly villainous, Dorothy threatens to send her back to the home to keep her in check.
• In a first season episode, Sophia consistently makes an absolute statement about all of her children, then adds "Except Phil."
• Dorothy offering a Preemptive "Shut Up" to Sophia when she has the opportunity to make a rude remark, though a couple of times Dorothy went as far as covering her mouth or shoving food into it.
• Sophia eavesdropping on conversations by listening through the kitchen door, or listening to phone conversations on the extension in her bedroom and commenting on them when the girls talk.
• Sophia's constant feuding with her sister, Angela.
• Sophia placing food, contraband, or other unusual items in her purse.
• Sophia describing her native Sicily as an impoverished Wretched Hive that runs on vendettas.
• Just how much murder Sophia and her family have actually performed. It ranges from literal hits on people to throwing a priest out of a window.

Stanley

• The use of an Inadvertent Entrance Cue almost every time Stan arrived, with him announcing his arrival ("Hi, it's me, Stan").
  Dorothy: I can't think of anything I hate more. [Stan shows up at the door] I spoke too soon.
• Dorothy and the other girls often roast Stanley about his baldness and the toupees he constantly wears.
• Sophia constantly calling Stanley a "yutz". In later seasons, other characters start calling him that too, including his own mother.
• The various unusual things Stanley peddles as a traveling salesman, including chain link fencing and heated toilet seat covers.

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