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Roleplay / ''A Dynasty of Dynamic Alcoholism''

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A Dynasty of Dynamic Alcoholism is quest run by Torroar and hosted by Sufficient Velocity. It follows the tale of the drunkest Elector Count of Empire, Count Frederick von Hohenzollern, as he rules over his province of Ostland. Armed with his runefang, Brain Wounder, Frederick contends with the problems of the Empire and his province the only way he knows how: steel, gunpowder, and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.


A Dynasty of Dynamic Alcoholism contains examples of:

  • Absurdly Sharp Blade: Frederick's sword, Brain Wounder, is one. Other runefangs created by Alaric the Mad also qualify.
  • Action Girl: Kattarin and Natasha, Anna and Alexandra, Ortrud and Johannah, Veronika and Valentina... The list goes on and on.
  • The Alcoholic: Ostland is a whole province of these, mostly because they live near the Forest of Shadows, filled with vampires, beastmen and other assorted ever-present abominations. However, this trope holds true even after Zacharias' death and the Forest's cleansing.
  • An Ice Person: Anna. (Quite literally what with the permafrost) Alexandria. Natasha. Pretty much any Hohenzollern female that isn't the Death Twins.
  • Animal Motifs: Bulls for the von Hohenzollerns.
  • Ancestral Weapon: Brain Wounder, runefang of Ostland.
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  • Armor Is Useless: Every time Frederick enters a major (or even a minor) battle, you can expect that by the end of it his armor will be rendered completely unusable.
  • Badass Family: Every single member of the Hohenzollern family kicks ass in their own way.
  • Badass Grandpa: Age hasn't slowed Fredrick down one bit.
  • Bash Brothers: Frederick is close friends with his ogre bodyguard Urgdug Greatbellow — enough so that he considers him family, and his children call Urdgug uncle.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Ostland, Middenland, Talabecland and Moot performed one on Nordland when Count Gruber tried to make it Nurgle's playground.
  • Big Eater: The ogres and halflings of Ostland easily found common ground in their love of delicious food. Many ogres have taken to worship of a halfling goddess Esmeralda - one of her holy tenets is "no guest will go hungry", which provided a nice alternative to the cannibalistic cult of Great Maw that ogres usually follow.
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  • Blood Knight: Frederick has become dangerously close to becoming this on several occasions, which is an actual issue due to the existence of Khorne.
  • Blue Blood: Played straight with most of the Knightly Orders that accept only noblemen, but averted with Bull Warriors after The Vampire War. With its numbers reduced to a scant few soldiers, Bull Warriors started recruiting from all layers of society.
  • Church Militant: It's a Warhammer quest, what did you expect? Many worshippers of Sigmar, Ulric, Manaan and Morr are trained to fight the forces of grimdark and are usually pretty good at it.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Torroar is known to plan ahead, and his behind-the-scenes work can potentially span entire continents.
    • In one instance of cleansing Karak Ungor, players were given five identical routes to choose from. According to Word of God, every single route had a different scenario that would play out if chosen.
  • Creepy Twins: Agatha and Alisa, the Death Twins, as users of Shysh, are very creepy to the average person.
  • Determinator: Frederick, straight up, to the point where it seems that he can't fight in a major battle without coming within a hair's breadth of death and surviving nonetheless.
    • This is also partially deconstructed, to a certain extent: Frederick's constant brushes with death have strained his marriage significantly, and provided a rather unhealthy model for his kids. (The establishing character moment of Magnus von Hohenzollern was an attempt at replicating his father's unstoppable charge, which nearly got him killed by a giant horde of night goblins)
    • In two separate instances, Frederick's determination almost led him into embrace of Solkan, during the Vampire War, and Khorne, Khaine, Tzeentch, Nurgle, Sigmar, Ulric, Morr, Manaan, Taal, Shallya, Verena and Kakarol, the Ostland god of horses, during the reclamation of Karak Ungor.
    • Magnus. Jesus H Sigmar, Magnus.
  • Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Von Hohenzollern punch is best punch.
    • «Frederick, did you just perma-kill a Daemon Prince of Nurgle?»
    • «Frederick, did you just perma-kill a Bloodthirster?»
    • «Frederick, did you just kill the Overlord of the Necarch bloodline?»
    • «Frederick, did you just kill one of the mightiest Beastmen ever?»
    • «Frederick, did you just kill a hybrid of Black Orc and a Daemon of Tzeentch?»
    • «Frederick, did you just kill fucking Skulltaker?
  • Doesn't Like Guns: As every self-respecting Bretonnian, Sir Roland falls under this trope.
  • Drinking Contest: Frederick has one with Josef Bugman to decide on whether or not he will start brewing again. He wins, if only just.
  • Dying Moment of Awesome: Garagrim Ironfist, the Prince of Karak Kadrin, strives to play this trope straight. So far it always ended up subverted because Garagrim is too good to actually die.
    • Played completely straight with Valma Bronzeheart at the very beginning of Karak Ungor campaign.
    • And as of Karak Ungor's arc finale, Garagrim was outdone by his father, Ungrim the Slayer King, who (along with Frederick) took on Skulltaker. And won.
  • Enemy Mine: In a rather significant event, the Ulrican Wolf's Crusade came to aid of the Witch Hunter's Army in Sylvania, when the latter was attempting to purge the undead menace, and the alliance held strong until the war was over. This was a significant improvement in their relations, as the two churches have been in conflict for over two thousand years.
  • Enemy Civil War: Between the Red Eye tribe, the Big Rippa tribe and Skaven in Karak Ungor.
  • Emotionless Girl: Anna, after her permafrost accident. While she can still, occasionally, feel emotion, it takes extreme situations to bring it out, and it will always fade. Word of God states that while there might be ways to mitigate this condition, it will never be fully cured.
  • Eye Scream: Zacharias the Everliving, after tearing out Urgdug's eye and swallowing it whole.
  • Four-Star Badass: Word of God states that Emperor Magnus the Pious is the undisputed greatest hero of the Empire, followed by Frederick. Thorgrim Grudgebearer, High King of the Dwarfs, also qualifies.
  • Fantastic Racism:
    Player: Look, it isn't our fault that every non-Imperial order faction is filled with gormless cretins.
  • Good Scars, Evil Scars: Frederick, through his many years of ruling Ostland, has collected enough scars that they can be considered a network of them. He then proceeded to lose them and has started collecting them again.
  • Heal It with Booze: Frederick's preferred method dealing with injuries in combat. The density of booze usually depends on the injury.
  • Heroic BSoD: Roland goes through one of those during the Karak Ungor campaign when his connection to the Lady is severed for a time.
  • Hero of Another Story: The story is rife with them; periodically, Torroar randomly generated groups of NPCs, then rolled for their actions and adventures in the background. At this point, the surviving members of the first generation (all three of them) are just as dangerous and arguably have had just as much influence over the world as Freddy himself. After a while, however, upon reaching a self-determined saturation point Torroar stopped, as to avoid overload.
    • An even more literal example with Kislev: Torroar treats it like a separate quest with its own options, heroes and rolls, and plays things out accordingly.
  • Hostile Terraforming: Under the influence of Nurgle and his servants Nordland became a blight-infested hellhole with most of the living beings undergoing mutations, in-life decay, soul corruption or all of the above.
  • Kill It Through Its Stomach: Several times giant monsters have eaten members of the Hohenzollern family. On each occasion this has proven fatal… for the monsters.
  • Knight Errant: Well, Questing Knight in the case of Roland. His saddle certainly has a lot of miles on it, what with him having traveled from Bretonnia to Cathay and back again over the course of several decades.
  • Knight Templar: Even when compared to the rest of his fellow Sigmarites, Arch Lector Jung managed to come off as a complete psycho while trying to frame Frederick as a heretic. To put it into perspective, Jung refused to back down even when three days of thorough interrogation and the personal intervention of Sigmar proved him wrong.
  • Living MacGuffin: Tzeentch hid the keys to Arianka's prison in mortals scattered throughout space and time. One of them is Roland.
  • Made of Iron: Subverted. Frederick gets beaten a lot, and he's been saved from a certain death by magical healing so many times it became a Running Gag for a while. And then it even became a plot point!
  • Molotov Cocktail: Invented by Ostlanders.
  • National Weapon: Handguns and the Steelfist and it's derivatives have become this for Ostland.
  • Off with His Head!: Frederick meets his end like this during a climatic battle at the finale of Karak Ungor campaign. Then he gets up.
  • Our Ogres Are Hungrier: Ostland has the largest population of Ogres in The Empire.
  • One-Man Army: Frederick von Hohenzollerm, full-stop. His kids are no squigs either.
  • Perfectly Arranged Marriage: The Marriages of Fredrick's oldest sons have blossomed wonderfully.
  • Power Fist: Courtesy of Runelord Kragg, as a reward for Frederick saving the High King and the Dammaz Kron. It was destroyed destroying the Chaos Dwarf's false throne of power. Kragg isn't bothered by this and is making Frederick a new, better one made of gromril instead of steel and using Starhammer's book of runelore.
  • Pyro Maniac: Princess Fenna Warren-Burner, The Royal Maverick of Karaz Ankor, takes a special delight in burning the enemies of Dawi. Considering she got her title from burning whole warrens' worth of Skaven, you can guess what her favorite targets are.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: The war with Zacharias the Everliving was this for Freddy, having been kicked off by the attempted assassination of his family and successful murder of his son Oskar.
    • This is assumed to be the motivation behind Gorebash's implied invasion of Naggaroth.
    • In Karak Ungor, Magnus goes absolutely apeshit after Anna gets eaten by a giant spider, and proceeds to slaughter the spider, the goblins riding it, their bosses and pretty much all the greenskins he can reach in the battle... then carve Anna out of the spider and save her against all odds.
  • Something Completely Different: The first Elector's Meet represented a major break from the story's formula at the time, opening with Frederick having a drunken night on the town with Urgdug.
  • Sword and Fist: Quite a literal example with Frederick's runefang and an enchanted steelfist.
  • Unstoppable Rage: Frederick suffered from this after the death of his son. He got better, though. For a time.
  • Villainous Breakdown: Zacharias the Everliving, by the time Frederick got to him.
  • Unbreakable Weapons: Brain Wounder, runefang of Ostland. Alaric the Mad really knew his job.

Alternative Title(s): Warhammer Fantasy A Dynasty Of Dynamic Alcoholism


Example of: