In the bleachers of the Hearst football stadium, Veronica's reading the school newspaper while the coach has a player run up and down the stands. The front page of the paper has a photo of Lilith House protesting with a sign that reads "We Go To Hearst; Go Ahead, Rape Us!". Logan comes by, and makes a remark about the photo; Veronica says it's free speech protest. A girl walks by and says she'll see Logan at a party (along with Veronica) and he says yes. As she and Logan walk up the stands, Veronica snarks that they never get to do anything she wants to do. She invites him to an art major show; Logan says he has class, but will meet up with her afterwards. They kiss each other and Veronica walks away.
In the locker room, the football player, whose name is Kurt (Armie Hammer), discovers his playbook is missing.
At a car wash, Weevil starts to leave until his boss calls him back, saying he needs to wait until his replacement gets in. Weevil gets angry, especially when the boss threatens to send him back to prison, but a co-worker tells him it isn't worth it. Weevil sees Veronica driving up in her car and goes over to her. They greet each other and Veronica says she hasn't seen him since he was arrested for murder; Weevil says he pleaded down to assault and is on work release, though he's not enjoying it. Veronica's phone rings; it's the dean's office, who wants her to come in. Weevil is amused by this, but before he can say anything more, his boss comes out, demanding he work or he'll get thrown out. Weevil has had enough, and pushes his boss against a vending machine. It looks like he's going to punch his boss, but instead, he punches the vending machine. Weevil turns around, admits he hasn't changed much either, and says goodbye to Veronica.
Meanwhile, in the Hearst College hallways, Piz is trying to pitch his idea for a radio call-in show to Trish (Lindsey McKeon), the station manager. They walk into the actual radio station, and Piz is still explaining his concept when Kurt walks in, and asks Trish if she's seen his playbook. When she says she hasn't, Kurt sighs and says he's dead.
Meanwhile, Veronica goes to the office of Dean Cyrus O'Dell (Ed Begley Jr.), who complains about the ceiling air conditioner not working and is trying unsuccessfully to fix it. As he steps down from his desk, he accidentally knocks down a picture of his wife, her son, and his son from a previous marriage (the older son has his face painted, KISS-style, and is wearing a "Transplants" t-shirt). Veronica picks it up for him and they sit down after he closes the door. Dean O'Dell congratulates her on her story exposing the Zeta Theta sorority growing marijuana plants, but he wants her to tell him who the staff member was who gave Karen the seeds to grow the plants, and who told her about it, or he'll expel Veronica.
A little later, Veronica is working at the campus library and musing about how Dean O'Dell gave her a week to think it over when Piz rushes up. He explains he wants to impress Trish so she'll hire him, but her boyfriend has a problem...
...and a little later, Trish and Kurt are sitting with Veronica and Piz at one of the library tables. Kurt admits while he's not supposed to take his playbook out of his locker, he needed to catch up on plays, so he took it out, but it's missing, and if he doesn't turn it over, he loses his scholarship and gets kicked off of the team. Veronica tells him her fee ($500), and Kurt says it's fine. Trish thinks it might be his position coach, and Kurt explains he hasn't been the player he was in high school since he tore a ligament in his knee his freshman year at Hearst, and the coach has had it in for him since. Veronica then asks where he was the night he could have lost it. Kurt explains it was in his backpack the entire time...
...and in a Flashback, as Kurt explains, we see him go with Trish to an art show run by her friend Larry (Erik Eidem), and then he goes back to his room to play Guitar Hero with his friend/teammate Brian "Pop" Popovich (Sam Horrigan), and cheerleaders stop by and bring them popcorn. Back in the present, Trish tries to comfort Kurt, saying his grades are good enough for a Pell Grant, but Kurt doesn't want to get kicked off the team. Veronica points out she could just make another copy of the playbook. That thought hadn't occurred to Kurt, but he seems to think it's a good idea.
That night, Veronica is walking through campus when she sees Dick. She wonders why he's not in the Econ class he takes with Logan, and he says the teacher didn't show after five minutes, so the class bailed. Veronica gets suspicious when she checks her phone and doesn't see any messages from Logan, and Dick snarks that Logan must be with other women and walks away, leaving Veronica upset.
The next morning, in the Mars apartment, Veronica sees Keith looking through a massive pile of paperwork, and says she might have someone who can help. Keith is not pleased to hear it's Weevil, even when Veronica says Weevil needs the job or he'll go back to jail. Keith is unmoved, saying he's not running a charity. Veronica then pulls out her secret weapon; she gives Keith "the stare"...
...and sure enough, at Mars Investigations a little later, Weevil is answering the phone. He takes a message for Keith, and when he hangs up, Keith tells him to stake out a warehouse to see if one of the security guards is stealing stock. Weevil says he has it, but Keith doesn't look convinced.
Meanwhile, in the locker room, Veronica is dressed in a track uniform and pretending to limp. She asks a passing football player where the trainer is, and he points her in the right direction. In a voiceover, Veronica explains she couldn't just run off a new copy because it's on Athletic Department stationery with a different ID each week, so she goes to the office of Coach Fry, the defensive coordinator, to print up a new playbook. Unfortunately, the printer is from the dark ages, so it takes a while to warm up. As Veronica's waiting, she hears voices, and ducks under the coach's desk. Coach Fry (Alan F. Smith) walks in with Pop, Kurt's friend, who tells the coach he's been offered a full scholarship at another college. As Coach Fry assures Pop he wants to make sure Pop can stay on the team because he's an asset, the printer finally warms up and starts printing. Thinking quickly, Veronica comes out from under the desk, pretends she's on a Scavenger Hunt as part of a sorority ritual, and kicks the plug out of the printer, causing it to stop.
Later, in the dean's office, Dean O'Dell sarcastically notes Veronica is building up quite a file for herself and asks once again for the name. Veronica refuses to give it to her, and as they continue to go back and forth, Nish, Fern and Claire (Krista Kalmus) burst in, along with Darren (Nick Farber) and Stew (Nick Puga). The latter two are the editors of the Hearst Lampoon, and Nish complains about being in the waiting room with them, while they snicker in response. Veronica says she's going to leave, and Dean O'Dell reminds her she has two days, but Darren stops her by showing her the latest edition of his paper. It's a parody of the earlier picture in the Hearst school paper, with a sign on it that says, "No thanks (except maybe the blonde in the middle)!" This is referring to Claire, and Nish protests it's hate speech. Dean O'Dell says it's covered under free speech, and moves on to more important (to him) matters; his car was vandalized, it was bashed in by what the mechanic thinks was a baseball bat, and among other things, "Pig" was written on it. Nish protests she and the other Lilith House members are being framed, while Darren and Stew snicker in response, and Veronica finally leaves.
A little later, Veronica is walking on campus when Logan drives by and gets out of his car. Veronica wants to know why he didn't show up to the art show if class was cancelled, but he says Dick just felt like skipping class, and he was there. He offers to drop by the library that night while she's working, and, somewhat mollified, she agrees.
A little later, Veronica tries looking for Mac, but she's not in. She then sees Kurt and Trish, and explains her failure to print up another copy of the playbook. They walk back to Trish's room, and Veronica explains Trish might be right about the coach having it in for Kurt when Trish opens the door and discovers a painting of her sitting on her bed. Kurt is suspicious - Larry was apparently more than just a friend - especially when he reads the attached note, which says, "Seriously, drop that meathead, you know you're still my muse". Veronica wonders if Larry hates Kurt enough to steal the playbook.
Meanwhile, at Mars Investigations, Weevil shows Keith the photos he took, and points out the truck driver is the real thief, as he's picked up a drug habit, plus he has a photo of the guard clearly carrying a box that's lighter than it is in another photo. Keith is pleased with the work, and while Weevil is jazzed for another assignment, tells him to get some sleep before his next assignment; grandparents think their daughter-in-law is abusing their grandson.
Meanwhile, Veronica goes to the student union building, where Larry is taking down his paintings. She sarcastically alludes to Larry having "muse" trouble, and when Larry says he doesn't know what she's talking about, accuses him of stealing the playbook. Larry denies it.
Veronica goes to Kurt's room, asking to see his backpack, because she doesn't like Larry and if she finds a paint print, it proves he did it. Instead, a piece of popcorn falls out, and Veronica wonders, since Pop, Kurt's friend, was a walk-on, he might have wanted to steal Kurt's scholarship. Kurt protests Pop wouldn't do that, and there'd be no way to prove it even if he did do it, so Veronica proposes to blackmail him.
That night, at the library, Veronica sends a blackmailing e-mail to Pop. She hears someone come up to her desk, but it's a student looking for books. After helping him, she gets a message on her cell from Logan, who sounds like he's at a party, and says he can't come by because "he's getting lucky". Veronica's face falls.
A little later, she walks through campus, pulls out a cell phone tracker while musing since she activated the signal on Logan's phone, she might as well track it. She sees it's coming from a dorm room...
...and that room happens to belong to Mercer (Ryan Devlin), who's hosting a mini-casino. He walks around, greeting people as they play, among other things, poker and blackjack. Logan is at the blackjack table, playing a double-down hand, when he sees Veronica come in. Mercer introduces himself to Veronica, but she's more interested in why Logan stood her up. Logan realizes she must have traced his phone, but Mercer - after taking a question from Alan (Jeremiah Lorenz) about the spread for that weekend's football game - asks for them to take their argument outside before it gets too heated. Outside, Logan says he doesn't appreciate Veronica snooping after him or judging him, and tells her, just to save her the trouble, that he's going surfing the upcoming weekend in Mexico with Dick and Mercer. He storms off.
Later that night, Veronica is lying on her bed, feeling sad, when Keith shows up with even more bad news; he got fired off the job he assigned Weevil because Weevil figured out it was the daughter-in-law's boyfriend abusing the grandson, and Weevil hit the boyfriend.
The next morning, Weevil's sitting at Veronica's old desk at Mars Investigations when Veronica walks up to him and apologizes, saying she wanted to be the one to tell him Keith had to let him go. Weevil admits he'd do the same thing in Keith's shoes, but says he really enjoyed the job. Veronica offers to make him some money by having him fix Dean O'Dell's car.
Later, at the library, Pop comes by, responding to Veronica's e-mail. Except he didn't steal the playbook, he stole a sociology paper from Kurt. Pop says he saw Kurt's playbook in the bag, but wasn't going to say anything, and says they played until Trish kicked them out. Veronica looks thoughtful.
Veronica goes to the radio station and Piz thanks her, as he got his show. Veronica sees Trish and lies that Kurt turned himself in and the coach, instead of kicking him off the team, was running him ragged on the stadium steps again. Trish looks upset...
...and sure enough, when Veronica stops by Trish's room a half hour later, she's searching high and low for the playbook. She admits she took it, and Veronica admits she lied about Kurt turning himself in. Trish says she only took it because she was upset how badly the coach was treating him, and thought he deserved better. Veronica sees the painting of Trish and realizes there's only one person who could have taken the playbook...
...and a little later, Kurt bursts into Larry's room, with Veronica and Trish close behind, pinning Larry and yelling at him to give him the playbook back. Alan comes into the room and says the playbook is under the couch. Veronica realizes Alan had Larry swipe the playbook from Trish so he could give the playbook to the other team and make a killing off the game. Alan admits it, and Trish pleads for Kurt to just turn in the book like nothing happened, but Kurt says he can't do that, and if Trish thinks otherwise, she doesn't know him that well.
At his uncle's garage, Veronica congratulates Weevil on how fast he was able to fix Dean O'Dell's car. Weevil modestly admits the damage wasn't as bad as it looked, and says it'll only take a day or two to finish. He wonders if Dean O'Dell is a friend of Veronica's - though he's not surprised when he learns the dean wants to expel her - because he seems cool, what with having a Transplants CD in the car. Veronica looks thoughtful...
...and a little later, bursts into Dean O'Dell's office and says she can make his problem with Lilith House, the Hearst Lampoon and his car go away in exchange for not expelling her. She shows him the CD and explains his son must have driven to a Transplants concert in the car, accidentally dented it, and trashed it to make it look like Lilith House was responsible. Dean O'Dell admits they're even, but Veronica has one more favor; she recommends Weevil get a job working maintenance at the school in exchange for not charging anything to fix the car.
Later, in the Hearst food court, Veronica sees Mercer and asks about the surfing trip. Mercer admits he's going to Mexico with Logan, but says it's not for surfing. He walks off, and Veronica looks suspicious. Naturally, she goes to Logan's car and plants a bug in it. A little later, in a building hallway, Veronica finds Trish, who tearfully tells her Kurt has left, because he was kicked off the team, lost his scholarship, and was upset with Trish taking the playbook in the first place. She says while Kurt knew she meant well, he was just too upset at what he did, and Trish admits she blew it and as a consequence, lost a good guy. This hits close to home for Veronica, and she goes back to Logan's car and removes the bug.
Later, in Dean O'Dell's office, he gets off the phone with his son, saying he's willing to put the whole concert thing behind them for now, and hangs up. The air conditioner comes on, and Dean O'Dell thanks Weevil, who's wearing a janitor's uniform, and looking happy.
That night, Veronica's in the library, listening in to Piz's debut as a call-in talk show host, and before it comes on, the announcer says Hearst won their football game, which makes Veronica happy.
At the radio station, Piz introduces his show, called "But We Were Just Talking", and his guest are Nish, Fern, Darren and Stew, and they're at his show to debate the 1st Amendment. There's some predictable sniping between both sides when Fern gets a text message saying Claire was raped. She yells at Darren and Stew about it and calls them bastards; they both look uncomfortable as Piz hurriedly cuts to a commercial.
Back at the library, Veronica is listening and working when Logan shows up. She apologizes and says having worked at a job where she sees so much lying, cheating and betrayal, trust doesn't come easily to her, but she's working on it. She asks Logan why he's not in Mexico, and he says he decided not to go. He invites her to a foreign film festival, but instead, she puts a closed sign on her desk, pulls him towards the stairs, and they start kissing each other.
This episode contains examples of:
- Berserk Button: Calling Weevil "cholo".
- Clingy Jealous Girl: Veronica is afraid she's turning into one of these.
- Foreshadowing: Both Mercer and his poker game become *very* important later, as does Dean O'Dell's stepson.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Weevil, especially around cranky bosses and child-abusing boyfriends.
- Honor Before Reason: Kurt.
- Hypocritical Humor:Piz: I don't want to be one of those mumbly college radio emo-rocker guys who just, all they want is to play their band's demo, you know. Though, um, I-I should mention that-that my band really is quite good and we-we're called Black Licorice, which is really cool.
- I Take Offense to That Last One: Played with.Weevil: Guess I'll go wash some, uh, spoiled bitch's graduation gift from Daddy, huh?Veronica: I'm not spoiled (Weevil notices her), and, uh, technically, it wasn't for graduation.Weevil: What about the bitch part?Veronica: It depends on who you ask.
- Literary Allusion Title: The title of the episode is a play on the Glenn Campbell song "Wichita Lineman" (which, oddly enough, is *not* about a football player).
- Product Placement Kurt spent the night playing Guitar Hero with a friend of his, which is immediately remarked to be a totally awesome game, cut to a flashback of the guys playing and having a blast.
- Shout-Out: When Logan complains about having to listen to "some fossil" reading a novel out loud, Veronica points out "Martin Amis" isn't a fossil.
- Piz pitches his radio show idea as "Jon Stewart meets Crossfire".
- When Dean O'Dell asks Veronica why humans can download pictures of Jupiter onto their phone but he can't get his air conditioner to work, she snarks she only recently found out where Waldo was.
- When Kurt and Pop are playing Guitar Hero, "Smoke on the Water" is the song.
- When Dean comes into Dean O'Dell's office, he says, "It's good to be the dean".
- When Mercer sees Logan at the blackjack table, he congratulates Logan on being in "the catbird seat".
- Fed up with Veronica snooping on him, Logan calls her Big Brother.
- Veronica hopes getting Pop to check out The Tell-Tale Heart will make him confess.
- When Kurt bursts in Larry's room and asks where his playbook is, he yells, "Where's the playbook, Larry? You're entering a world of pain".
- Teacher/Student Romance: Dean O'Dell says he met his wife Mindy when she was his grad student.
