Episode - Season 4, Episode 15 (Production Code: 4-54)
First Aired - October 24, 2010
Billy Quizboy walks the halls of a hospital in the guise of "Dr. Phil Donahue." After displaying his remarkable skills diagnosing a patient and saving that patient from unnecessary invasive surgery, the hospital wants to promote "Dr. Donahue." Another doctor approaches Billy about this, but Billy tries to play it off. The other doctor reveals that he contacted Johns Hopkins, where Billy says he went to school, and they didn't have his credentials on file. Billy covers for his lie as the doctor runs off to get one of his associates to straight things out. Once the other doctor is gone, Billy runs off realizing that he could be in big trouble if they find out he isn't really a doctor. He sneaks into a patient's room to hide. The patient is revealed to be King Gorilla on his death bed from apparent lung cancer. Three suited men phase up through the floor and surround King Gorilla. They reach into his chest and pull out his heart before vanishing back through the floor. The third man turns and silently waves at Billy as he phases through the floor. Billy falls to the ground screaming.
In the Conjectural Technologies trailer, Billy is explaining what he witnessed to Pete White, who is playing video games. Billy says that the three guys (who he calls "vampires") who appeared were the same three guys that got them the fraudulent insurance money earlier in the season. Billy wants to give the money back, but Pete has already spent most of it on a range of bizarre items, including a (creepy) robotic butler based on Bo Duke. They argue as the three men appear outside of the trailer. Billy goes outside to onfront them, making Pete promise that he will come find Billy if they take him. Once outside, they vanish with Billy.
Pete goes to the SPHINX headquarters, trying to hire them to find Billy with the last $50,000 check he received. Brock, Gathers, and Shoreleave explain that SPHINX isn't a mercenary group, and continue to refuse to help even after Pete reminds them that they (while previously working for the O.S.I.) used Billy to infiltrate the Guild and spy on Phantom Limb. Gathers then noticed the check White is holding and sees that the group the money comes from is headed by "The Investors," a trio known for killing all of those that they "help" and who SPHINX has been after for quite some time. Knowing this, SPHINX agrees to help.
Meanwhile, Billy awakens in a bed with Monstroso and the Investors standing over him. Monstroso explains that he made a deal with the Investors that involves Billy. Monstroso tells Billy to rest up, as he will be receiving the Investors gift of "immortality" the next day.
SPHINX is at the Conjectural Technologies trailer with Pete. The find the spot where the Investors disappeared with Billy and analyze the soil. They discover traces of seawater with a salt content equal to that of the Mid-Atlantic region. They need a boat and Brock says he knows where to get one. Meanwhile, they leave Pete White in a safe house: the panic room of the Venture compound with Sgt. Hatred standing guard.
The SPHINX crew heads to Spider Skull Island, hoping to borrow the X-2 from Jonas Jr. However, the Pirate Captain informs them that JJ is working on his new space station (Gargantua 2) and has disassembled the X-2 to use for parts. When SPHINX reveals that they just need a ship. Pirate Captain says he can provide one.
Billy and Monstroso are enjoying their time, playing mini-golf, bumper cars, and racquetball. Monstroso clutches his chest while playing, revealing that he is dying and that his deal with the Investors is to fix him. Monstroso asks Billy what else he wants to do before his date with destiny, and Billy reveals that he wants to have sex as he is still a virgin.
SPHINX, aboard the Pirate Captain's actual pirate ship, is locating Billy using the tracking device in his mechanical hand. Shoreleave also found a palm print on White's check, but couldn't match it. Brock recognizes it as a giant thumb print, which belongs to Monstroso. He and the Investors are connected, as is the Guild of Calamitous Intent. (The check is from the General Consolidated Insurance company.)
Billy is joined in bed by three attractive women, who he believes are vampires. (He still believes that the "immortality" promised by the Investors is to turn he and Monstroso into vampires.) He is seduced by the women and finally experiences sex, just as the tracer device in his hand activates (as well as the fire extinguisher feature.)
Shoreleave reveals that he has found Billy and the group makes for the ship he is on. Back at the Venture compound, Pete and Hatred argue over how Pete has a great friend in Billy but neglects him, favoring Rusty instead, due to Billy's lack of fame. (With Hatred calling Billy a "star fucker.")
Billy is brought from his bed to Monstroso's room to sign papers. Monstroso reveals that he is dying of heart failure and needs a new one, specifically, King Gorilla's. King Gorilla made a deal with the investors, giving up his heart when he died to get out of his life sentence. Billy was chosen to perform the surgery and, in exchange, will be given forged documents making him an actual doctor. Monstroso also explains that the women Billy slept with were merely prostitutes, and not vampires. The "immortality" Billy will get will come from him being a renowned surgeon, not a vampire.
SPHINX approaches Monstroso's gigantic ship. Brock and Shoreleave begin their assault on the ship by sneaking aboard. The make short work of Monstroso's henchmen until they come upon the Investors. The Investors prove to be magical, intangible men, with Brock's knife and Shoreleave's bullets passing right through them. The Investors disappear through the floor.
Brock finds Billy performing the surgery on Monstroso. He wants to kill Monstroso, but Billy says the Hippocratic Oath prevents him from allowing that. Brock tells Billy that he isn't a real doctor, but Billy argues otherwise. Brock explains how Pete tried to pay SPHINX to find Billy, revealing that Pete really does care about Billy. Finally, Brock allows Billy to finish the surgery.
The Stinger shows Billy helping Monstroso to recover from his surgery. Billy steps out from behind some curtains to reveal that they back in the SPHINX base. Brock asks Billy if Monstroso is well enough for them to kill yet.
- Continuity Nod:
- The hospital Billy was working at has been seen several times previously in the series.
- Pete White mentions the events of The Invisible Hand of Fate while trying to convince SPHINX to help him rescue Billy.
- Billy mentions constantly being kidnapped to perform illegal surgeries, which has happened multiple times over the course of the series.
- King Gorilla's life sentence was first mentioned at the end of season 1, and his declining health from lung cancer was mentioned earlier in season 4.
- Shoreleave says that the SPHINX sub is still damaged from the events of The Diving Bell vs. the Butter Glider.
- This episode reveals where Billy and Pete got their insurance money in Handsome Ransom.
- Cool Ship: Monstroso's massive ship, complete with a mini-golf course, bumper car track, and racquetball court. It is so big that Billy didn't even know he was on a ship until Brock told him.
- Deal with the Devil: Any deal made with the Investors.Brock: Well, congratulations, White. You're the only person who's taken money from the Investors and lived to panic about it.
- Ghostly Glide / Power Floats: The Investors' usual means of conveyance.
- Godzilla Threshold: Col. Gathers' explanation of SPHINX's purpose.Gathers: It works like this if someone points a gun at you, you call the police. If a bunch of guys are pointing guns at you, you call SWAT. If they're in spandex and pointing a super laser at you, you call OSI. And if they're dressed regular and pointing a super laser at your daughter, that's when you call SPHINX.Shore Leave: SPHINX!Gathers: So explain to me why we'd give a squirt about your roomie being abducted by vampires.
- Intangible Man: The Investors. Bullets and knives just pass right through them. They can also walk through walls and floors, and reach into people's chests to pull out their heart.
- Just Following Orders/Never My Fault: Col. Hunter Gathers' logic for not helping Billy.Pete White: You used Billy as a pawn to infiltrate the Guild of Calamitous Intent. You owe him.Gathers: Son, that wasn't us - that was the OSI. If I throw this pen at your head, are you gonna blame me or have a little fistfight with the pen? (does so.) Now get out!
- Lower-Deck Episode: The episode features Billy, Pete, SPHINX, Monstroso, and the Investors almost exclusively. The Venture family is seen very briefly, and only Sgt. Hatred gets any lines.
- Off-Model: Billy's metallic hand is most often shown as his entire forearm, but for several scenes in this episode, it is only his hand up to his wrist.
- The scene with Billy and the "vampire" prostitutes references a similar scene in Bram Stoker's Dracula.
- Robo Bo is a robot butler based on Bo Duke from The Dukes of Hazzard. Pete White mentions there are also models based on Starsky, Crockett and The Fatman.
- When White tells SPHINX that it should have been him that was taken by the (supposed vampire) Investors, he explains that he has "that Malfoy/Spike thing going on."
- The Pirate Captain's pirate ship is named Manny's Song after Manny Santos from Degrassi: The Next Generation.
- The Voiceless: The Investors, adding to their already extreme creepiness.
- Too Much Information: A side effect of Col. Gathers' unique approach to maintaining workplace morale at SPHINX.Gathers: We have no secrets here. When men live and work together, it's imperative that there are no secrets. I miss my breasts! Inside of me, there's a woman screaming to be heard.Sky Pilot: I hit a dog with my car last week, but told the owner I found him like that.Brock: I once jerked off twelve times in one day just to see if I could.SPHINX Agent: I had an erotic dream about Henry Rollins last night, and I'm straight as an arrow.Shore Leave: Remember that smell I told you was the garbage? That was my ass. I had chicken tandoori for lunch.
- You Owe Me: Pete White unsuccessfully attempts to invoke this on Billy's behalf to get SPHINX to help rescue him.