Original air date: 4/25/1999
Production code: AABF-16
Bart's offensive stand-up act for the International Olympic Committee costs Springfield the Games, and he is forced to work at the Springfield Retirement Home as punishment. Meanwhile, Homer tries to make use of the box of spring mascots he ordered that are now useless.
Tropes featured:
- Accidental Hero: Homer saves Bart, Lisa and the Retirement Castle residents by flushing his unwanted springs down the toilet which wind up right below where Captain McCallister's boat sinks.
- Artistic License – Sports: The International Olympic Committee president decides to just give Springfield the next Summer Olympics based on Lisa's letter. In actuality, cities from around the world bid to host the Games, and the committee votes for whose bid they like the bestnote . Also, hosts of upcoming Olympics are decided seven years in advancenote , to give host cities plenty of time to get ready.
- As Himself: Famed fitness guru Jack LaLanne.
- Asinine Alternate Activity: Principal Skinner decides to make the students at Springfield Elementary do mandatory community service to teach them respect. When Bart gets taken to his placement, he at first thinks it will be at the Fireworks, Candy and Puppy-Dog Store, but it's actually at the Springfield Retirement Castle next door.
- Bowdlerise: In-universe, where the residents of the Retirement Castle watch an "Edited for Seniors" version of Gone with the Wind. Bart in particular is upset that they "cut out the best word" (I.E. poorly redubbed "I don't give a damn," as "I love you. Let's remarry!").Hans Moleman: Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?
Worker: (dragging him out of the room) C'mon, get up! You've been warned! - Couch Gag: The living room is a movie theater that's filled with supporting characters that the Simpsons have to shuffle through to find their seats. Afterwards, Homer steals some popcorn from Comic Book Guy.
- Disproportionate Retribution: All of the kids are punished for Bart's offensive comedy routine despite having nothing to do with it, though they actually find Bart's comedy routine to be quite funny in their point of view. Some of the community service sentences were very dangerous like Martin having to play basketball with violent street gangs and Milhouse having to pick up medical waste at a beach.
- Everyone Has Standards: Although never known to have much respect for his elders, Bart winds up being horrified by the way the elderly residents of the home are dictated to and decides to free them for a fun day out. (As it happens, they themselves are comfortable enough with their routine, but go with Bart's plan because it's nice to get a break.)
- Eye Scream: Lenny and Moe get a spring in their eyes and the springs get tangled up.
- Fun with Flushing: Following the failure of an almost-successful venture, Homer is left with ten thousand coiled springs and tasked with getting rid of them. He proceeds to flush every single one of them down the toilet, accidentally saving a sinking yacht when it keeps bouncing off the springs at the bottom of the marina.
- Games of the Elderly: Lisa volunteers at the Springfield Retirement Castle as the bingo caller, but Jasper is unaware of what game he's actually playing, so every time Lisa calls out a number, Jasper says, "You sunk my Battleship!"
- Glass Eye: After the Sea Captain's cruise ship collides with Mr. Burns's yacht, Lisa runs to ask the captain why he didn't see the yacht coming. He tells her he has "two glass eyes," emphasized by clinking his corncob pipe against each one.
- Got Volunteered: The punishment Bart and several of his classmates (despite not being part of his act) receive for making Springfield losing the chance of hosting the Games.
- Guilt by Association Gag: Because of Bart's inappropriate act (which Skinner allowed in the first place), the entire student body is assigned community service. Although the old age home is of course the worst punishment of them all to Bart, he's in fact gotten off lightly with Martin Prince being dropped off in a crime-ridden neighborhood and Milhouse being forced to clean up a beach covered with medical waste.
- Heh Heh, You Said "X": When Chalmers says that he was born in Queens, went to Ball State and moved to Intercourse, Pennsylvania, Bart opens his mouth to speak but Skinner covers Bart's mouth before he can crack a joke. Shortly afterwards, Chalmers says he is going on vacation to Lake Titicaca, adding, "Let's see you make a joke out of that, Mr. Smart Guy." Again, Bart tries to make a joke, but Skinner stops him before he can.
- Hypocrite: Principal Skinner punches Homer for being the father of the child who ruined Springfield's chances of hosting the Olympic Games while Skinner bears more blame for being the one who not only authorized Bart's offensive actions in the first place, but actually interrupted the head of the Olympic Committee as he was about to award the Olympics to the town so that Bart could do his routine.
- Karma Houdini: Skinner doesn't receive any punishment for making Bart insult the Olympic Committee other than Chalmers asking him why he allowed Bart to perform the offensive act.
- Literary Allusion Title: The title is an obvious reference to The Old Man and the Sea.
- Not This One, That One: As Bart is the last student to receive their volunteering assignment.Bart: What are you gonna do to me?
Skinner: Bart, not all community service is gang warfare and dangerous infection, and to illustrate that point here's where you'll be working.
(Skinner points at a storefront)
Bart: (excited) The Fireworks, Candy, and Puppy dog store!?
Principal Skinner: No, no, no. Next to it.
(Next to the store is the Springfield Retirement Home, where we see Jasper and the Old Jewish Man sitting. Grampa comes outside)
Grandpa Simpson: Settle a bet: boil or mole?
(Bart gapes in horror) - Pet the Dog: Bart takes Abe and the other seniors out of the retirement home because he thought they were being mistreated and not able to have any fun.
- Ridiculous Exchange Rates: The Russian delegate at the Olympic committee runs out in a panic when the exchange rate between the dollar and the ruble increases dramatically within a few seconds.
- Ripped from the Headlines: Mayor Quimby offers the IOC anything they want to get them to make Springfield the next host city, including "guns, money and women". A few months before this episode aired (and thus almost certainly before it was written due to
Production Lead Time), Salt Lake City was found to have bribed the IOC to host the Winter Olympics. - Schmuck Bait: Moe falls for Homer's spring-filled can of nuts immediately after seeing Lenny fall victim to the same thing.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: Jack LaLanne after his failed attempt to save the Retirement Castle residents, Bart and Lisa.
- Shout-Out:
- While shooing the rats out of Springfield, Chief Wiggum calls one rat "Rizzo".
- Springfield's senior citizens recreate the "Can't Buy Me Love" sequence from A Hard Day's Night, covered by NRBQ. And the closing credits feature Homer, Marge, Bart, and Lisa's photos in a parody of A Hard Day's Night's album cover.
- A Chief Bromden expy appears in the retirement home and escapes by throwing a sink through the window. He wasn't even a resident, he was just there to hand out casino pamphlets.Old Jewish Man: You know the door was open, Chief Break-Everything!
- Two references to Titanic (1997): Smithers draws Mr. Burns in the same position Jack drew Rose. Captain McCalister's boat sinks in a similar way the Titanic did with Bart, Lisa, and the seniors clinging onto the stern.
- Threat Backfire: Upon Skinner telling the schoolkids that they'll all be serving community service, Nelson Muntz asks what happens if they refuse.
- "Too Young to Die" Lamentation: Parodied.Bart: Oh, it's not fair! I'm not supposed to die now! I'm supposed to die in a foolish motorcycle stunt at the age of 15!
- Vodka Drunkenski: During his comedy routine, Bart asks the Russian representative if he's already drunk, which he shamefully admits.
- Who Would Be Stupid Enough?: Homer pulls this on himself when discussing the shipment of springs with Marge:Homer: I should have no problem selling a thousand springs.
Marge: To who?
Homer: Idiots. [begins absentmindedly playing with a spring] Ooh! These are fun!
