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  • 2018
    • Skeletonwitch - Devouring Radiant Light - 4.5/5
      • "I was always very ho-hummy about Skeletonwitch, but with this album, I think I'm officially on board!"
    • The1975 - ''A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships - 2.5/5
      • "Well, they did get rid of most of the wank, credit where it's due. Too bad they replace it with a bunch of low-tempo slosh and bad Radiohead impressions."
    • Screaming Females - All At Once - 3.5/5
      • "I kept forgetting this album came out. It's not bad or anything, but it's just so...what were we even talking about?"
    • Of Mice and Men - Defy - 4/5
      • "It's the only one of theirs that's held my interest for any amount of time."
    • Daughters - You Won't Get What You Want - 4/5
      • "Out of all the noise rock I listened to this year, yeah - this was easily the best thing the genre put out...but if you guys saw my Low or even my old Girl Band review, you know noise rock just isn't a genre I really fuck with."
    • Godsmack - When Legends Rise - 1.5/5
      • "Remember when Fantano reviewed this album and was all like, 'Oh god, it's so bad. Guys, it's so bad. It's like, one of the worst of the year. Bad album. Oh my god. How is it this bad?', and like [...] the rest of us were sitting back like...'Dude. Of course it sucks. It's Godsmack. The fuck were you expecting, man?'"
    • Black Veil Brides - Vale - 2/5
      • "This is Nickelback goth, not at all helped by the fact that their lead singer REALLY sounds like Chad Kroeger. No, I am not gonna drop that. It's weird."
    • As It Is - The Great Depression - 4/5
      • If you told me As It Is was gonna release a really dark and bleak record, I'd have probably given you a weird look at the outset, but the more I listen to this record, the more it kind of grows on me."
    • Cloud Nothings - Last Building Burning - 4/5
      • "What do you get when you stick an indie rock band in the same room as a Black Metal producer? You get one hell of a Cloud Nothings record, that's for damn sure."
    • The Wonder Years - Sister Cities - 3.5/5
      • "I didn't hate it, but man was this one forgettable."
    • The Longshot - Love Is For Losers - 2.5/5
      • "This feels like the forgotten Trilogy album that we somehow never got, only reconstructed somehow through weird and awkward means."
    • From Ashes to New - The Future - 2.5/5
      • "Says a lot about the band that improving so dramatically only elevated them from 'awful' to...'meh, forgettable'."
    • Parquet Courts - Wide Awake! - 5/5
      • "God dammit, every critic I know is just lining up to tongue this album's precious little balls...which means there isn't enough room at the table for ME to tongue its balls as well."
    • Tomb Mold - Manor of Infinite Forms - 4/5
      • "Aww man, this was some DURRTY metal. Do you like DURRTY metal? This was a DURRTY...DURRTY...DURRTY- ass DURRTY metal album!"
    • Breaking Benjamin - Ember - Benjamin/Benjamin
      • "It ham preif tuuube in mein dube till rime too! My floob! FLOOB! It ham ri...FLOOOOOT! It ripe doob."note 
    • Deafheaven - Ordinary Corrupt Human Love - 5/5
    • Stone Temple Pilots - Stone Temple Pilots (2018) - 1/5
      • "Just...fuck this album."
    • Various Artists - Songs That Saved My Life - 1.5/5
      • "I know this album was raising money for a good cause. It's a cause I actually wholeheartedly believe in, so good on 'em in that respect. But what the FUCK were some of these song choices?"
    • Haken - Vector - 4/5
      • "Haken is a very good band, but they really need to find themselves a good producer to bring out the best in them."
    • Halestorm - Vicious - 4/5
      • "This album was so sexy I think it got me pregnant."
    • Father John Misty - God's Favorite Customer - 4/5
    • Disturbed - Evolution - 1/5
      • "Pahahahahahaha! Oh, no! No! No! Hahahaha....just look at this! 'Hello man, may we alt-rock for you?' Ohhh...this album gargles my asshole, no!"
    • Imagine Dragons - Origins - 2/5
      • "I prefer the fuck out of this album over Evolve...doesn't mean it's any good."
    • Laura Jane Grace and the Devouring Monsters - Brought To Rot - 4/5
      • "This was a chill record. (beat) Except for "I Hate Chicago", god damn, but speaking as a midwesterner...yeah, 5 minutes in Chicago traffic will have you saying those exact same things in that song."
    • Amity Affliction - Misery - 1.5/5
      • "Some of you with a keen eye have already caught me throwing shade at this album."
    • Our Lady Peace - Somethingness - 1/5
      • "I have been itching to talk about Our Lady Peace for a long-ass time now. And it sucks that the first time that we will get to mention them is on this year's Worst of the Year. Just...ugh."
    • EDEN - vertigo - 4/5
      • "Literally, I only listened to this album out of spite, but man, I will be damned if this hasn't grown on me big time throughout the year."
    • AFI - The Missing Man - 3/5
      • "These guys have GOT to find a good producer to work with and FAST. Look, I know you guys love Jade, but get him out of the producer's chair before he creates real permanent lasting damage to you guys, ok?"
    • Trash Boat - Crown Shyness - 4/5
      • "Darker, kind of edgier, kind of alt-rockier, kind of pop-punk-ish music that I really personally enjoyed."
    • Like Pacific - In Spite of Me - 4/5
      • "Ummm...see...previous review?"
    • Lovebites - Clockwork Immortality - 4/5
      • "I am always on the lookout for good stuff from Japan, and this really caught my interest."
    • Mae - Multisensory Aesthetic Experience - 5/5
      • "God dammit! Mae! Mae, why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to me in DECEMBER, in the middle of catchups when I'm so busy and so stacked that I would never have the chance to talk about your first album in 11 years that totally wrecks and totally destroys and is so...so damn good and flying under the radar and just...(sigh)"
    • The Smashing Pumpkins - Shiny and Oh So Bright, Vol. 1 / LP: No Past. No Future. No Sun. - 2.5/5
      • "The problems with Smashing Pumpkins were never who wasn't in the band, it was who was in the band. And Billy has just been making a lot of boring shit lately, and this album is no exception."
    • Vein - Errorzone - 3.5/5
    • Jeff Rosenstock - Post- - 3/5
      • "He still hasn't impressed me yet. He still hasn't, like, won me yet."
    • Rolo Tomassi - Time Will Die And Love Will Bury It - 5/5
    • Rivers of Nihil - Where Owls Know My Name - 5/5
      • "Saxophone. More sax. Did not think that was gonna be the next metal trend."
    • Poets of the Fall - Ultraviolet - 3.5/5
      • "I am very very impressed with a lot of what I heard...wow, their vocalist, ummm...he is, uh...he's an acquired taste, I feel like."
    • Tribulation - Down Below - 4.5/5
      • I love how if you change the vocal style of this band, they basically just become AFI."
    • High On Fire - Electric Messiah - 5/5
      • "Yeah. Lemmy would've been proud."
    • Ezra Furman - Transangelic Exodus - 4/5
      • "Imagine if Neil Young had actually embraced the trends and sounds of the 80s instead of just spending them dicking over his record company and doing goofy shit. This might've been what that would've sounded like...and I dig it."
    • The Frights - Hypochondriac - 3.5/5
      • "Really, really catchy stuff. But...ok, is the lead singer alright? These lyrics are...this is almost Father John Misty levels of like, depressing and sad!"
    • Black Honey - Black Honey - 4/5
      • "If I called this band slutty, y'all would know I meant that as a compliment, right?"
    • Hopesfall - Arbiter - 4/5
      • "Is that a rabbit hole worth falling down?"
    • Kero Kero Bonito - Time 'n' Place - 4.5/5
      • "This album? This album is kawaii!"
    • Dance Gavin Dance - Artificial Selection - 3.5/5
      • "I do not get the anti-hype surrounding this album."
    • Sad Gravity - Sad Gravity - 3/5
      • "Amazingly chill. Maybe just a little too chill for my personal tastes."
    • Nothing But Thieves - What Did You Think When You Made Me This Way - 2.5/5
      • "Ehhhhhhhhh...I just wasn't feeling this one, I'm sorry."
    • The Beths - Future Me Hates Me - 3.5/5
      • "A bit repetitive in places and not the most original thing I've ever heard, but I definitely see the potential there."
    • Beartooth - Disease - 3/5
      • "Like with Screaming Females and The Wonder Years, I thought I was gonna like this album a lot more than I actually ended up liking it."
  • Q1 2019
    • Soilwork - Verkligheten - 3.5/5
      • "Soilwork are one of the most consistent mellow-death bands out there. But...I dunno, their consistency has always been their biggest problem."
    • Spidergawd - Spidergawd V - 4/5
      • "People who are into, like, 70s retro fuzzed-out throwback kinda-styled rock, yeah, definitely. This is a band you should be paying attention to."
    • Papa Roach - Who Do You Trust? - 1.5/5
      • "You know one thing that's totally helped make 2019 a little better than 2018 in terms of music so far? There haven't been nearly, nearly as many bands that have succumbed to the Imagine Dragon like there were last year. (beat) Yeah, Papa Roach didn't get the memo."
    • Kongos - 1929 Pt. 1 - 3/5
      • "It's a very clean-sounding album. But...I dunno, the raw music, the instrumentation, the actual composition, the actual performances...they just...weren't doing a lot for me. It's ok, it's not horrid by any means, but if this is 1929 Part 1, I don't think I necessarily need a Part 2, I'm just saying."
    • Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center - 4/5
      • "This is probably the closest thing we're ever gonna get to a new Bright Eyes album...and I am not even gonna start complaining about that."
    • FIDLAR - Almost Free - 2.5/5
      • "I've just never been a huge fan of these guys and...they haven't necessarily gotten better with age. Not an offensive album by any means. [...] But...I dunno, it's not my thing."
    • Rival Sons - Feral Roots - 4.5/5
      • "Talk about another band doing the retro throwback thing very well."
    • Within Temptation - Resist - 3.5/5
      • "From the pleb's point of view, there wasn't anything particularly wrong with this record. It wasn't as bad as I've been hearing from some people, but...it didn't make me, like, jump for joy or anything. It's ok."
    • Girlpool - What Chaos Is Imaginary - 3/5
      • "There is something I dig about their ultra-chill, super-serene kind of quietly capable brand of indie rock, but I'd say it's almost too ultra-chill. This thing almost put me to sleep."
    • Soen - Lotus - 3.5/5
      • "I do enjoy Soen's particular kind of like 'jazzy' progressiveness. [...] It is something very unique. But on the same coin, it's also something I just gotta be in a certain kind of mood for."
    • Badflower - OK, I'm Sick - 3.5/5
      • "It's ok, it's just not masterclass by any means, and there are some lyrics on this thing that are...I get what they're going for, but some of this stuff is a little cringe, just like a little bit. This is obviously a band that has some growing to do, but I definitely see the potential on display here."
    • Puppy - The Goat - 4.5/5
      • "It's like these guys are trying to recreate the first Black Sabbath album through the lens of blink-182. [...] Also they have the best name ever, I love puppies! Puppies fucking rule! Fuck my show, here's a solid minute of puppies!"
    • A solid minute of puppies
      • "Puppies fucking rule."
    • Beirut - Gallipoli - 4.5/5
      • "Ok, asking me to review a Beirut album in 3-5 sentences...that's just not gonna happen. But I did really enjoy the new Beirut album."
    • Dream Theater - Distance Over Time - 3/5
      • "It's nice to have a Dream Theater album that isn't two hours fucking long for a change, and some of the little toe-touches into Djent and some more modern trends [...] I wasn't feeling those necessarily, but not to any huge dismay."
    • Cane Hill - Kill The Sun - 4/5
      • "Was I the only one getting Jar Of Flies vibes off of this?"
    • Calling All Captains - Nothing Grows Here - 4/5
      • "It's only an EP, and a very short one at that, but based on what I heard from this, I would be very excited to hear a full-length out of these guys."
    • Hozier - Wasteland, Baby! - 3/5
    • While She Sleeps - So What? - 4/5
      • "It doesn't do much new even for them necessarily, but it's a solid outing. I could pit to this."
    • In Flames - I, The Mask - 2.5/5
      • "I will say this much - this is probably the best album we've gotten out of this era of In Flames. That having been said...yeah, it's still very much a 'this era' of In Flames, it's not good."
    • Sundara Karma - Ulfila's Alphabet - 5/5
      • "Aw, man! Oh, these guys! They release this album the same day as The Black Album. I so would've loved to talk about that instead of Black. Argh!"
    • Marianas Trench - Phantoms - 5/5
      • "No, it's not as good as Astoria, but not a lot of things are."
    • Potty Mouth - Snafu - 4.5/5
      • "This band is like if Dollskin was fronted by Liz Phair and trying to make Sleater-Kinney sound like a pop punk act. I know that sounds fucking banana-bonkers, but people, trust me on this one. If you happen to care for any of the artists in that clumsy-ass analogy of mine, check this out. You will get something very good out of it."
    • The Japanese House - Good at Falling - 4.5/5
      • "This is not an album to sleep on even if it might put you to sleep."
    • Children of Bodom - Hexed - 3.5/5
      • "There is not much I can say about this album that couldn't be said about their last two or even three albums, really. It's a bit samey, yeah, but like with Soilwork and Spidergawd, it's a problem I particularly like, so...eh."
    • Foals - Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost (Part 1) - 3/5
      • "It might be a case of 'Not-My-Thing-itis" here, but...I just didn't feel like there was a lot of interesting stuff going on here."
    • A Bunch of Shrieking Shitheadsnote  - Who Caresnote  - 1/5
      • "Did you even know Attila released an album this year? Good. You didn't miss a goddamn thing. Fuck this shitty band for twats."
    • Demon Hunter - War & Peace - 2/5
      • "30-40 minutes of Demon Hunter, I can handle, it's ok. 100 minutes of Demon Hunter, though, that's where I draw the motherfucking line. Like...there is no reason for these guys to be releasing a double album, they are not interesting enough to be releasing double albums. Don't @ me, this was a chore to slog through, especially in one sitting."
    • Moon Tooth - Crux - 4.5/5
    • Gary Clarke Jr - This Land - 4/5
      • "It's just one of those albums that's got a lot to say and says it in a very beautiful and well-packaged manner."
    • SUNDAYS- Wiaca - 4/5
      • "For those of you that are in like a Frightened Rabbit or...you know, kind of a modern folksy kinda vibe, yeah man. This'll scratch that itch."
    • Simple Creatures - Strange Love - 4/5
      • "So those of you that hated the poppier production of the last Blink album will more than likely hate this album too [...] But speaking as that weirdo that actually liked California, I kinda dug this."
    • Jinjer - Micro - 3/5
      • "There was a lot to admire here, though they have like a Nu-Metal sort of colour to their sound. [...] It's nice, it's well-executed, it just ain't my thing."
    • Nanami Ozone - NO - 3/5
    • Busted - Half Way There - 2/5
    • Rhapsody of Fire - The Eighth Mountain - 4/5
      • "Ok, using a posthumous sample of the late Christopher Lee as the closing track to your album is a dirty rotten trick. That got right under my heart and it tore it to pieces! Fuck, I miss Christopher Lee, don't you?"
    • Switchfoot - Native Tongue - 1.5/5
      • "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh...Imagine Dragon. Like, I hate to say that, because once upon a time, I was a Switchfoot defender, I love The Beautiful Letdown. But man. I'd say ever since around Vice Versus, maybe even sooner than that, Switchfoot became a band that just chases trends, basically."
    • Le Butcherettes - bi/MENTAL - 4.5/5
      • "Any of you that are, like, say, into The Screaming Females need to be listening to this band like yesterday."
    • Wintersleep - In The Land Of - 4/5
      • "It seems like this is a band that's chilled out a lot over the years."
    • I Prevail - Trauma - 3/5
      • "There are a lot of things I like about this band. [...] But this band, at least with this album, they...I won't say "Imagine Dragoned" necessarily, but at least with this album they implemented a lot of, like, the worst elements of things going on in pop."
    • The Lemonheads - Varshons II - 2/5
      • "This is the first Lemonheads record we've gotten in 10 years. And it's a Cover Album. And on top of that, the album we got 10 years ago was also a cover album. I haven't admittedly listened to a lot of Lemonheads since about, like, 1993-1995 since Julianna Hatfield was in the group. It's A Shame About Ray is great, but...um...it's a shame about this album."
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