Release: August 14, 2012
Movie: Scooby-Doo (2002)
The Critic begins his review with... his final verdict of the movie? Already? Well, that was a brief episode...
Or not. The Critic is clearly not in a good mood, and begins ranting about how his life has amounted to nothing but producing reviews for the internet, while having absolutely no friends or company to socialize with. He bemoans how much he hates his life and loudly exclaims how his job is the worst thing a human could go through, and pauses for a while after screaming at the top of his lungs.
As he calms down and starts the real review, he remarks that nothing is going to change. "It's not like I could just go back in time and alert my young self of the hell that awaits him."
Suddenly, the Critic finds himself back in the early 2000s, when his teenage self has just gotten his DVD of the movie and is about to watch it. After the shock of meeting each other wears off, the Present Critic wonders why this is happening. The Past Critic assumes it's because he's about to see the Scooby-Doo movie for the first time, expecting to see the characters in a satirical new light. The Present Critic convinces the Past Critic not to watch the movie, saying it's a corporate sell-out. When the Past Critic asks about his future career, the Present Critic takes the opportunity to warn him that making a career out of video reviews will result in him being blackmailed by Mara Wilson. When the Past Critic does not believe him, the Present Critic remarks, "If only you could see the future so you can understand what's in store for you..."
Both Critics are abruptly thrown into the far future, when the Nostalgia Critic, now an old man, is suffering memory problems and about to watch Scooby-Doo himself. The Future Critic is astonished that all these different parts of the Critic's life are coming together to watch the same movie. Determined to figure out why this temporal anomaly is happening, the Critics start their viewing of the movie.
While watching the main characters engage in the slapstick sequence that takes place during their investigation of the haunted house attraction, the Present Critic is suddenly brought to a timeless white void where he meets his former guardian angel, Roger. Roger explains that this is a Purgatory where angels go when they die, and he's the only one who has died. The omniscient Roger warns the Critic, that if the anomaly is not fixed, all mankind will be doomed. All he tells him that the way to fix it has something to do with his review. With that, the Critic returns to his Past and Future selves to continue watching the film.
While watching the flashback scene featuring Scrappy Doo, the Critics' discussion about his role in the movie is interrupted when the timeline briefly destabilizes, forcing them to keep watching the movie. They finally get to the end of the movie without further incident, and they give their final thoughts:
Future Critic: Yeah! From my point of view, I don't remember watching the show at all, so inserting him as the bad guy makes no sense as a film on its own.
Past Critic: Yeah, and from my standpoint, it made no sense because I know the characters, and the characters would never do this. Scrappy Doo would never be evil, Scooby-Doo would never abandon him on the side of the street, and the series would never be this mean-spirited.
Present Critic: Yeah, and from my point of view, it doesn't make sense because it wasn't fully developed from a comedic standpoint. Why? Because the movie doesn't know if it wants to be mean-spirited, lighthearted, or both. But whatever it's trying to be, it doesn't work. It just straight up fails and it straight up sucks. This movie can cock my ass!
Just then, the temporal anomaly starts acting up again, and the Present Critic finally realizes why: it's because the movie failed to please all three time periods. The Critic's solution is to have the movie be destroyed in every time period, so he hands grenades to his past and future selves and blows his copy of the movie up with a grenade in his mouth.
Back in Purgatory, Roger tells the Critic that he has once again saved humanity. The Critic briefly celebrates until he remembers he has no friends, with Roger commenting that maybe he'll do things a little different this time. When the Critic asks why the worst movies are still big hits that everyone keeps watching, Roger doesn't answer, but he does tells the Critic that big things await him, and that he'll always have something to critique.
The Critic returns home just in time to see Rob come in and get snacks for a poker game. Rob tells him he had been telling him every night for the past five years, but he never listened. Rob returns to his poker game with 80's Dan and the Ghost of Christmas Future (who is also The Grim Reaper), and the Critic decides to join them, finally taking the opportunity to socialize with friends. And thus ends the Nostalgia Critic series as we know it.
Well, not for long.
This review contains examples of:
- Affectionate Parody: Of "All Good Things", the series finale of Star Trek: The Next Generation. The concept of three Critics coming together from three temporal points is a Whole-Plot Reference of the concept of that episode, and the final scene is a direct reference.
- Appeal to Obscurity: Past Critic doesn't know some of the celebrities Critic references, though Critic takes it as a reason to prove them as dated.Nostalgia Critic: So the film opens with — big shock — a pop song.Past Nostalgia Critic: Yeah, but so what? The original had pop songs too.Nostalgia Critic: Yeah, and I'm sure that never dated either. Just like having Sandy Duncan or the Harlem Globetrotters.Past Nostalgia Critic: Who?Nostalgia Critic: Exactly.
- Call-Back: The reappearance of Roger the guardian angel from "You Dirty Rotten Bastard".
- Dirty Coward: Young!Critic calls out Shaggy for wanting to leave Fred and Velma on the island to their fates, calling it an Out-of-Character Moment.Daphne: Fred and Velma always figured out everything.
Critic as Shaggy: My middle name is Judas! - Drama Bomb Finale: Critic's self-hatred had always been played for tragic laughs until this point. Here and in To Boldly Flee it's just tragic.
- The Grim Reaper: The Ghost of Christmas Future reveals that this is his main job, while being the Ghost of Chirstmas Future is just to make extra holiday cash for his family.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: The Critic does this to himself at the beginning, ranting about himself just stuck reviewing movies and not having friends or a social life.
- Hypocritical Humor: The Critic warns his younger self not to watch "Scooby-Doo", because it's a corporate sellout, to which the younger Critic says that he hates corporate sellouts, then asks the Critic: "What's it like making bajillions of dollars selling your ideas?"
- I Knew It!: Old!Critic's reaction to The Reveal that Scrappy is the villain, as well as the hook-up between Velma and the guy she met at the restaurant.
- The Internet Is for Porn: Upon meeting his present self, the teenager Critic asks if the internet ever amounts to something other than porn in the future.
- It Makes Sense in Context: Happens in-universe when the Present Critic nearly spoils a scene in Wedding Crashers for his past self, leaving him only with the knowledge that Isla Fisher ties Vince Vaughn to a bed and puts a sweaty sock in his mouth, and that's it.Critic: It works in context!
- Once per Episode: Lampshaded at the beginning of the real review.Critic: Uh, this is where I usually show a few clips from the trailer, because I was too lazy to find any actual clips that are visually interesting for you, and I, of course, talk over it. I mean, what's the point in trying to change anything? Right?
- Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "Hey Scooby-Doo, where are you!? I'll tell you where! IN HELL!!!"
- Sarcasm-Blind:Past Critic: Now wait a minute. Magic spells? Come on, the original Scooby-Doo made it very clear that there's no such thing as supernatural elements in their world, just a talking dog who has an appetite for six-foot sandwiches!
Future Critic: Oh, thanks for being the voice of reason.
Past Critic: No problem. - Series Fauxnale: This episode was intended to be the Grand Finale to the original Nostalgia Critic series. A year after its release, the show would be revived.
- Shout-Out
- Critic compares Scrappy's One-Winged Angel form to Pumbaa.
Critic as Pumbaa: Hello, Timon! I've come to eat your soul!- His future self is an Expy of Doc Brown.
- The last part of the episode is just like the end of the last episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, right up to the Critic joining a game of cards.
- The scene where Scooby punches out Fred has the line "Fuck you, asshole!" from Commando dubbed in.
- The Critic repeatedly refers to Rowan Atkinson as Mr. Bean. He later calls him "Captain Crunch-Chocula" upon seeing his outfit during the scene where he absorbs his victims' souls.
- The theme for Edward Scissorhands plays to emphasize that the haunted house attraction the Scooby gang explore looks like a typical Tim Burton setting.
- A clip from The Godfather where Peter Clemenza says, "Take the cannoli," is spliced into the scene where Shaggy and Scooby run away from the possessed Fred and his gang.
- Take That!: At Seltzer and Friedberg, whose movies Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Disaster Movie are shown in an attempt to prove the Past Critic that being a satire doesn't automatically make it funny.Past Critic: ...I don't know what those are yet.
"I can look at myself naked."
