Release: July 3, 2012
Film: Digimon: The Movie (2000)
This review contains examples of:
- Bat Signal: Critic tries to contact Jesu with a big "JO" in the sky, only to find there's no clouds outside. He tries again the next day only to see it's daytime. He gets it right the third time, but instead of Jesu responding, it's Angry Joe, who demands his own signal.
- At the end, Jesu says that she can't sleep after watching the movie and if she can't sleep, nobody can. She then turns on a signal with Tai's "rape face" on it.
- Call-Back: Angry Joe asks the Critic if they're invading another micronation.
- The Cameo: Kyubey is briefly combed by JesuOtaku.
- Captain Obvious: Critic and Jesu make fun of Izzy for calling Prodigious "a computer virus on the Internet", which devolves into insults towards each other.
- Comically Missing the Point: When Kari says she got her friend a pink Power Ranger, Jesu asks Critic what other show Saban Entertainment owned besides Digimon. Critic guesses Yogi Bear, because "maybe the ranger went gay".
- Continuity Lockout: Critic refused to review the film for a long time because he wasn't a fan of the series and has little knowledge of its story. Even with Jesu's help he still has trouble understanding the anime's 'verse and also gets annoyed if he goes on at length about a Continuity Nod he's never even heard of.
- The Cuckoolander Was Right: Jesu warns Critic not to listen to the rap or else his brain will fall out. It does.
- Groin Attack: Critic gives one to the off-screen narrator in a Cutaway Gag.
- Hypocritical Humor: Critic criticizes the film for showing nothing but a half-hour of people looking at their computer screens, calling it wasteful. Doubles as a Take That, Audience!.
- Money, Dear Boy: Jesu says that the movie has no other purpose other than "MAKE MONEY FOR FOX KIDS!".
- "Not Making This Up" Disclaimer: Critic insists that the bizarre Mood Whiplash between two characters was an actual edit in the film.
- Product Placement: Critic and Jesu say that the Angela Anaconda short and the scene where the characters play with Power Rangers figures is this because they, along with Digimon, were part of the Fox Kids lineup.
- Reused Character Design: Lampshaded both within and outisde the film.Kari: And there's Davis and Demiveeimon. Yeah, I know. Davis looks a lot like my older brother Tai.Critic: We blame lazy character design for that.
- Running GagJesu: Ass-hat!Critic: Woman-child!
- Critic and Jesu play "90s Song Bingo" whenever a pop song plays.
Critic as SpongeBob: Boy, Shayamalan needs to throw in the towel.Jesu as Sandy: I thought there were blue cats in this?
- In response to the Angela Anaconda short that plays before the movie, Critic wonders what would happen if the cast of SpongeBob SquarePants went to see The Last Airbender and saw the infamous "pebble dance" sequence.
- Critic doesn't like Koromon hugging Kari because the last guy who got face-hugged didn't turn out so well, with Demiveemon's face pasted over the alien.
- As Jesu explains that Digimon digivolve the more someone loves it, Critic calls it a Tamagotchi.
- Critic refers to Greymon as "Baloney the Dinosaur".
- "That is what I'd call a dead parrot."
- Critic compares the film and its flashforwards to Cast Away.
- Critic says the film has more Toilet Humor than The Phantom Menace.
- Poromon is compared to an angry bird.
- Critic calls Terriermon and Wendigomon "the American Rabbit and a Muppet minstrel show".
- Critic and Jesu mock the film's fast pacing and lack of character development by hastily telling the story of the Harry Potter series.
- Critic calls Seraphimon and Magnadramon "a Burger King Kids' Club chess piece and a My Little Pony version of Falkor".
- Squee!: Jesu makes a high-pitched squee that irritates Critic.JesuOtaku: I'm sorry. I squeeed.
- Strange Minds Think Alike: Angry Joe thought the "JO" signal was for him. Critic then calls Jesu on his cellphone and reveals she thought it was for Joe too.
- Take That!: When Critic is confused about the opening short, he says the characters are more hideous than the Digimon and calls the short cheaper than the actual movie.
"It's digi-forced, it's digi-contrived! No digi-brain cells will be left alive!"
- Critic own version of the rap.
- Critic calls Tai's "rape face" the face pedophiles make when they hear that Toddlers & Tiaras has been renewed.
- This Is Gonna Suck: When the "Digi-Rap" begins, the caption "Worst Thing Imaginable Approaching" appears while an air raid siren sounds and Jesu appears in makeshift Army gear hiding behind a pillow.
- Your Makeup Is Running: When Jesu is crying, Critic asks why is mascara running on her eyes if she isn't even wearing mascara. She has no idea.