Film: The Room (2003)
This review contains examples of:
- Bad Future: The future the Critic travels to is ruled by Sea Horses, who have forced humanity to hide from them to survive.
- Broken Smile: The Critic does both as an Overly Long Gag after realizing that the hairy guy that can't act is gonna be the lead actor of the film.
- Close-Enough Timeline: When the Critic returned to the present, he noticed his wall was a slightly different color. He worried that many other things have been changed due to messing with the time space continuum, but his future self assured him that the only thing that changed was his wall color. Oh, and he has a tail.
- Dramatically Missing the Point: The Critic discusses how Lisa's mom ignores the fact she admitted Johnny supposedly hit her.Lisa: He [Johnny] didn't get his promotion. And he got drunk last night. And he hit me.Claudette: Johnny doesn't drink!Critic: She just admitted that he hits her and the mother's like "Johnny doesn't drink... I know he hits you like a football player’s wife but he doesn't drink!"
- Dude, Not Funny!: The Critic's In-Universe opinion on Mark's story about a woman beaten up by one of her boyfriends upon finding out of her many lovers, more so after Johnny laughs over it.Critic: [fake laughter] That's not funny, you sick fuck [i.e., Johnny].
- Face Palm: The Critic's reaction to the revelation that the guy with the weird accent at the beginning is none other than the star, Tommy Wiseau. He repeats this following Johnny's infamous "You're tearing me apart, Lisa!" line.
- Good Night, Sweet Prince: When Johnny kills himself:Critic: Good night, sweet prick, and may flights of assholes sing thee to thy rest.
- Headdesk: The Critic slams his head on the wall over the scene where Mark is still surprised at being invited by Lisa to cheat with her on Johnny for the fourth time.
- Homoerotic Subtext: The Critic plays up this trope with regards to Johnny and Denny's relationship by playing Whitney Houston's "And I Will Always Love You" over the scene where both walk with Johnny's arms wrapped around Denny's shoulders.
- Kinky Role-Playing: The Critic jokes about Johnny and Lisa engaging in this during one of the movie's many sex scenes.Critic (as Johnny): Let's roleplay. You be Sonya Blade and I'll be a terrible actor.
- Little "No": The Critic says this when he discovers that the hairy man who can't act is the main character in this movie. See also Broken Smile.
- Running Gag: Another reviewer (Obscurus Lupa, Linkara and Spoony) suddenly shows up to beg the Critic to not review this movie. While Spoony initially thought he was reviewing Highlander 2, he runs off screaming after the Critic tells him what he's actually reviewing.
- Screaming at Squick: The Critic's reaction to the scene of Johnny's bare ass.Critic: So Johnny gets up for a minute and— (the Critic screams in horror) Fuck it, movie! Fuck it! I got a hard enough time watching his acting, and you gotta show me his ass?! What the hell?!
- Screams Like a Little Girl: Spoony, upon hearing that the Critic is reviewing The Room.
- Shout-Out
- The scene where Lisa seduces Mark is compared to Mrs. Robinson seducing Benjamin.
- The scene where Chris-R aggressively asks Denny for his drug money is also compared to that from The Big Lebowski.
- Shout-Out to Shakespeare: Two of them, both during the closing scene of the movie. The first is to Hamlet, in response to Johnny's suicide:"Good night, sweet prick, and flights of assholes send thee to thy rest."
- The second is to Romeo and Juliet, as everyone cries over the death of Johnny while the scene fades out, ending the movie:"For never has there been a tale of more blow than this dumbass bitch and her Tommy Wiseau."
- The second is to Romeo and Juliet, as everyone cries over the death of Johnny while the scene fades out, ending the movie:
- So Bad, It's Good: Invoked as the Critic's final opinion on the film — the movie is so wonderfully awful one has to see The Room to believe what the Critic has been saying about it.
- Spit Take: The Critic, on hearing the line "Anyway, how is your sex life?" out of nowhere.
- This Is Gonna Suck: The Critic's reaction to Tommy Wiseau being the star, writer, producer and director.Critic: Looks like we have a personal story here, people. Be very afraid.
- And later, the Critic's reaction to Tommy Wiseau playing the main protagonist.
- Visual Pun: Used by the Critic to censor the shot of Johnny's ass.
- Wacky Sound Effect: The Critic adds sounds of angry cats over the scenes of Johnny and Mark fighting.
- Worst. Whatever. Ever!: The Critic's response to Tommy Wiseau's acting, but in particular this scene:Johnny: [flatly acting] I did not hit her, it's not true, it's bullshit. I did not hit her, I did naaaaaaaht. Oh hi, Mark.
[Critic is speechless; clip starts over again]
Critic: No no, don't play it again. I think the evidence is very clear. That is the worst piece of acting that has ever been put on film! I mean, my God! Not one inflection was right, not one word was said correctly, not one breath of air made me believe anything that he was saying! There are middle school plays that put on better performances than that couple of seconds. That was like the nirvana of bad acting. The Holy Grail! All hail to you, your lameness!
[repeat of Johnny's line, followed by a cut to a cut of a fetus — alluding to the Star Child scene from 2001: A Space Odyssey — with Wiseau's face on it, with the label "You Have Reached Enlightenment!" below]
Voice: My God was that bad. - You're Insane!: Linkara's reaction to the Critic remaining adamant in reviewing The Room.
"You are tearing me APART, Lisa!"
