"Guess Hoe's Coming To Dinner" is the 3rd episode of the 1st season of The Boondocks. It originally aired on November 20, 2005.
Robert falls in love with a young woman named "Cristal" (Like the Champagne), who unbeknownst to him, is really a prostitute. Huey and Riley are aware of this obvious fact though, and are disgusted by Cristal's presence, especially because she's a lazy gold digger. Huey and Riley try to convince their Granddad that his new girlfriend really is a gold-digging hoe, but to no avail — until A Pimp Named Slickback arrives at their house to take back Cristal, as she was hiding from him.
- Big "SHUT UP!": It's more of a subdued one, befitting of his character, but Huey's annoyed cadence sells the idea.
- Riley: What if he marries her? What if we end up with a hoe for a grandma?Huey: Riley, shut ya dumb ass up.
- Brick Joke: Huey lists the signs that Cristal is a "ho", including running in high heels. A flash back see her running offscreen. The ending has her chasing down A Pimp Named Slickback in her heels, trying to get her job back.
- Dirty Old Man: This is the first episode about Robert's womanizing. He chases after Cristal because she's young and sexy, not realizing that she's a "ho". Surprisingly, he does develop actual feelings for her.
- Downer Ending: Robert loses a girlfriend whom he was attracted to not just physically, but also emotionally. Cristal also quickly forgets about her promise to find a real job, as she instead decides to run back to Slickback and stay a prostitute.
- Elephant in the Living Room: Robert is totally oblivious that Cristal is a hooker until the climax.
- Failed a Spot Check: Cristal all but directly states shes a prostitute to Robert, and even she is confused about how he can't see her for what she is.
- Fiery Redhead: The tantrum-throwing child at the beginning of the episode is this of the short-tempered bratty variety.
- Gold Digger: The reason that Cristal dates Robert is because he's an upper-middle-class man who takes her to fancy restaurants, and gives her expensive gifts. There's even a song called "Gold Digger" playing in the background at one point.
- Insistent Terminology: A Pimp Named Slickback is annoyed when Robert shortens his title to just "Slickback", insisting that one must say the whole name, including the "A Pimp Named" part.A Pimp Named Slickback: "No, no, you say the whole thing, like A Tribe Called Quest."
- To a lesser extent, this also applies to Cristal (who sometimes adds "Like the Champagne" after her name).
- Must State If You're a Cop: Cristal keeps asking Robert if he's a cop, which Huey points out is a pretty obvious sign that she's a prostitute.
- Pretty Fly for a White Guy: The white mother whose son is making a mess of the store in the opening develops a heavy ebonics accent the second she starts whipping him with a belt.
- Special Guest: Tiffany Thomas as Cristal (Like the Champagne), and Katt Williams as (A Pimp Named) Slickback.
- Streetwalker: There's so many signs pointed at Cristal that she's a stereotypical prostitute, complete with a pimp who wears a purple suit.Huey: "Does she duck out every time a nigga in a purple suit shows up?"Flashback of Cristal doing exactly this as Slickback is seen/introduced.Riley: "Can she run really, really fast in high heels?"Flashback of Cristal challenging Robert to a race to the car... in high heels.Huey: "Let me ask you Grampa, does she keep asking if you are a cop?"Cristal immediately walks into the room and does so before kissing his cheek.
- Too Dumb to Live: Robert and Riley during the car ride home from the market. Riley dares Robert's wrath by saying hoe, which he responds by slapping Riley repeatedly while driving, causing the car to lose control to which Huey was forced to take the wheel to keep them from crashing. After settling down, Riley does it again, starting the whole process all over again.
- We Will Not Use Photoshop in the Future: Huey and Riley gather photographic evidence that Cristal really is a "hoe". When Cristal is confronted with the pictures in front of Robert, she claims that they were Photoshopped, and he believes her. Until her pimp shows up.
- Would Hit a Girl: Slickback, being a very sexist pimp after all, has no problem with trying to slap Cristal.
- Wouldn't Hit a Girl: Robert on the other hand disagrees, so he uses his belt to restrain Slickback's hand, and forbids him from hitting any women in his house.