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Recap / The Angry Video Game Nerd Season Two

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After the success of the first season, James Rolfe had already signed on with ScrewAttack half way into that season and would host videos on their website, in addition to YouTube and his Cinemassacre website. After the first episode of season 2, ScrewAttack would sign on with GameTrailers to pose three of their programs exclusively to their website (two of which being the Video Game Vault series, and the Top 10 videos). Ever since then, new episodes of The Angry Video Game Nerd were hosted on GameTrailers before being re-released on youtube a year later, with some corrections, updates, etc. All videos are currently on YouTube and on Cinemassacre.

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    Atari 5200 
Cinemassacre link

The Nerd reminisce on the Atari 2600 and how much it meant to him, before moving on to the Atari 5200, which presented superior graphics and sound effects, along with more sophisticated game play, but "ironically, it failed and faded away, while the Atari 2600 lived on". After this, the Nerd notes on how much bigger the console is, and attempts to go through the process of setting up the console, which proved to be a challenge in itself.

The Nerd ended up complaining mostly about its bulky power supply unit, how the video and power output shared the same cable from and to the system (although he did note that there was a new version that separated the two, but only had two controller ports). When he finally got around to getting the system set up and complained about the lack of end labels on the cartridges, he starts up any game he had... only for the controller to be entirely non-functional.

Upon further examination of the controller, he did admire the innovations it possessed for its time, such as a more analog joystick and having a pause function, although he is annoyed by the action buttons being on the side and the numeric keypad, looking more like a phone than a controller. He does reveal the trackball controller, which is nearly as big as the console itself, but still was unable to work. He makes one last attempt to play the games by ordering a third-party controller online... only to find out at the last minute that it is a controller for the Atari 2600 he ordered! Cue Rage Quit.note 

This episode contains examples of:

    Ghostbusters 
Cinemassacre link (original)
Youtube link (altered/DVD&Blu-ray)
Featured game: Ghostbusters (NES)

The Nerd discusses about how Ghostbusters was such an awesome franchise back then, with the huge amounts of merchandise, a successful cartoon series, and had two movies under its belt. As he nerds out about it, the Nerd also goes into the NES and decides to try out Ghostbusters for that system, thinking putting two awesome things together could equal a really awesome outcome. However, the problems began with the gargled digitized voice at the title screen.

The Nerd would complain in great length about how dull the game itself is, being about capturing ghost and raising money. It also involves driving around and avoiding getting hit by drunk drivers (who seem to be actively aiming at you), and having to micromanage the gasoline supply, as well as other supplies necessary to capture ghosts. The final objective is to make it into the museum (referred to as the ZUUL building in this game), which apparently occurs at random. The Nerd had a major problem with this considering that there are supplies in the shop to make the stair-climbing segment easier, but you have to be quick to sell your supplies to get the necessary material, or otherwise, you have to go back to sell what you just bought and buy back your supplies so you can capture ghost (you are only allowed four items at a time).

The stair climbing segment proved to be a chore in itself as the Nerd was unable to beat it, and even with the supplies provided from the shop, he still isn't able to beat it. He resorts to cheating with Game Genie, enabling infinite health specifically for that segment. He finds that there are 20 floors you are required to climb, not helped by the fact that you have to keep tapping the B and A buttons to go left and right (not hold it, tap it!).Tip 

After finally reaching the top, the game turns into a Shoot Em Up where two ghostbusters has to keep zapping Gozer, while avoiding going to the bottom of the screen and the few projectiles coming at him. After beating Gozer, the Nerd is treated with a generic A Winner Is You screen... except it is so badly misspelled and organized that he instead breaks out in a tranquil laughter.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Difficulty Spike: The stairway sequence is the hardest part of the whole game.
  • Exactly What It Says on the Tin
    "You put in the game, expecting Ghostbusters, and what do you get? Well, you get Ghostbusters."
  • Prank Call: The Nerd ends up calling a shop about a ghost-vaccum, much to the clerk's confusion
  • Unexpected Gameplay Change: The final section of the game plays more like a shoot-em-up.
  • Updated Re-release: The altered version was featured on the DVD and Blu-ray versions, changing out the footage and soundtracks with stills and cover songs. This is also true for the two parts below.

    Ghostbusters Follow-Up 
Cinemassacre link (original)
Youtube link (altered/DVD&Blu-ray)
Featured games: Ghostbusters (NES), Ghostbusters (2600), and Ghostbusters (SMS)

After getting over how bad Ghostbusters for the NES was, the Nerd decided to give a more constructive review of the game. He lists off five main problems with the game: a spell-check, better graphics, better sound, a better use of the Ghostbusters characters, and better gameplay.

After that, he decided to go into reviewing an earlier version of the game released for the Atari 2600. The gameplay is very similar, with the shop being handled with the difficulty switches, the driving scene still being included (although there are no obstacles, aside from sucking up a ghost if you have the vacuum), and the ghost catching scenes are still there. However, he gives the game a pass for being a 2600 game, and thus is more forgivable.

Finally, he looks at the Sega Master System version to find that the game is a Polished Port, with a huge graphical update, more variety of ghosts, improved action sequences, and the stairway sequence being totally redesigned. Unfortunately, it still suffers from some problems, such as how the stairway scene is still needlessly hard, and the overall game is still repetitive. Also, the game over sequence has some spelling issues of its own.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Grammar Nazi: The Nerd decides to correct all the spelling and grammatical errors present in the end game screen of the NES game.
  • It's a Wonderful Failure: The game over sequence explains in great detail about your failure, and even tells you to try again from the beginning.
    "Oh really? I thought I could try again from the middle."
  • Porting Disaster: Compared to the 2600 version, which seems to be the same game, it makes the NES version come off as this, as the updates made to it made it worse.
    • Polished Port: The Sega Master System version is significantly better.

    Ghostbusters Conclusion 
Cinemassacre link (original)
Youtube link (altered/DVD&Blu-ray)
Featured games: Ghostbusters 2 (NES), Ghostbusters (GEN)

The Nerd decides to go into Ghostbusters 2 for NES and was immediately impressed to how much better this game was from its precursor. However, he soon declares how bad the game is and goes into how it has its own laundry list of problems, such as a lack of a pause function, the difficult driving sequences, and how the aiming works (unlike Contra that has instantaneous aiming, this one requires you to use up and down to adjust its trajectory). While he does admire the game for having stages based on the movie, he concludes that the game is bad.

Upset once again for playing another bad Ghostbusters game, he decides to try out the Sega Genesis version. Barring the lack of Winston, he is surprised to find himself actually enjoying the game. He couldn't help but admire the adorable art-style, the intuitive action gameplay, and for keeping the concept simple enough to understand, with plenty of depth involved. He is surprised that he found an actual good Ghostbusters game, although he does resort to nit-picking to finding problems with it. Overall, he genuinely enjoyed it and gives it a big recommendation.

In closing for this review, he decides to bring up the possibility of Ghostbusters 3, arguing that if Hollywood has no issues churning out poor quality sequels (such as Home Alone 3, Free Willy 3, Psycho 3, etc), they would not have a problem making a Ghostbusters 3. He would love to see this happen, even if the plot consisted of the four of them taking a shit.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Harsher in Hindsight: The Nerd's optimism for a Ghostbusters 3 movie was shattered to many pieces with the death of Harold Ramis, along with Ghostbusters 3 thanks to Sony's move to make it a remake. James Rolfe recently declared that he will not see it because it isn't the sequel he wanted. Though his wish was half-granted in the form of Ghostbusters: The Video Game. PC players can get the game right now on steam for $9.99.
  • Hilarious in Hindsight: Invoked; The Nerd talked about how the Ghostbusters controlled the Statue of Liberty using an NES Advantage. Naturally, he has the NES Advantage plugged in to simulate the effect.
  • Surprisingly Improved Sequel: Ghostbusters 2 to a degree, considering that the micromanagement aspect was removed in favor of a more action-style game, but it isn't that much of an improvement.
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    Spider-Man 
Cinemassacre link
Featured games: Spider-Man (2600), Spider-Man and the Sinister Six (NES), Spider-Man (GB), and Spider-Man 2 (GBA)

In this review, the Nerd decides to fire up Spider-Man for the Atari 2600. He has some trouble adjusting to the controls of the game and how it works, which prompts Spider-Man himself to come in and play the game with him, convinced that it cannot be bad. However, Spider-Man soon sees just how bad the game is and ends up swearing in frustration, prompting him to grab the game and throws it to the ground, destroying it.

The duo moves on to Spider-Man and the Sinister Six, which the two of them find the controls to be real awful to the point that the Nerd cannot consciously fight the first boss in the game in a timely manner. Spider-Man also couldn't get far enough as he has trouble jumping on platforms, and ends up dying to the weaker enemies in the game. He ends up destroying this cartridge too.

The Nerd would then put on Spider-Man for Gameboy, and finds that the controls are an issue once again, as he is unable to properly figure out how to use the web to swing across platforms, which is a requirement to navigate the levels. Spider-Man decides to take over (even takes the gameboy and chooses to play upside down), but gets even more angry over the fact that the game designers keep messing up video game adaptations of him, before dropping the gameboy down.

The Nerd decides to relax by playing Spider-Man 2 on gameboy advance, and decided to discuss the pizza delivery scene in the movie, much to Spider-Man's displeasure about it.

Kyle Justin plays Spider-Man in this video.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Berserk Button: Averted; even though Spider-Man dumps his preferred brand of beer, he does find himself enjoying the lager he was provided.
  • Product Placement: Spider-Man was offered Rolling Rock, but decides to ditch it in favor of local lager
  • Song Parody: Kyle Justin's cover of the Spider-Man theme, with new and altered lyrics.

    Sega CD 
Cinemassacre link
Featured Sega CD games: Ground Zero Texas, Slam City, Double Switch, Night Trap, Corpse Killer, Time Gal, Lethal Enforcers, Willy Beamish, Road Avenger, Jurassic Park, Prize Fighter, Sol-Feace, The Terminator, Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Wonder Dog, Sewer Shark, and Sonic CD.

The first episode to feature the full-length Angry Video Game Nerd theme song.

This episode opens with a fake commercial for the Sega CD add-on, with the Nerd quickly going into how bad the system is. He complains about how it has its own power supply unit, is not very appealing to look at, and the load times can get bad. Starting off with Ground Zero Texas, the Nerd is left unimpressed by the FMV present, and is also unimpressed by the rail shooting, tower-defense style of gameplay. With Slam City, he was left confused as to how to progress despite coming off as a simple one-on-one basketball game, and finds the Jive Turkey employed by the characters more puzzling than funny. Double Switch also left him more confused and annoyed than intrigued by the concept, similar to the later game he'd cover: Night Trap. With this game, he is suppose to look over security cameras and activating traps on the enemies in the game. This comes off as tedious due to how it is easy to miss them. He does find the video itself to be entertaining, but is annoyed by how he gets a game over for not intervening when a character gets into trouble.

The Nerd attempts to play Corpse Killer, but was unable to do so due to the disc being scratched. Time Gal is one he finds to be pretty weird in story and annoying in voice acting, but otherwise doesn't appear to have a problem with the game. Lethal Enforcers he finds to be a monotonous rail-shooter, and had more fun pointing out some of the oddities present as oppose to critiquing the game itself. With Willy Beamish, he spent so much time on the intro off-screen that he's surprised to finally be able to control it, but finds the gameplay to be boring. With Road Avenger, he didn't have much more to say than Time Gal, other that both games are similar. The Sega CD version of Jurassic Park interested him at first, but when he finds it to be a confusing point-and-click game, he ends up shutting it off due to having no clear objective. Prize Fighter also intrigued him, but he is left disappointed by the game play where he's unable to land a single punch.

The Nerd was surprised when he powered on Sol-Feace to find it to be a fun horizontal shooter similar to R-Type. He also enjoyed the Terminator in spite of some of its flaws, such as the restrictive shooting and enemies taking too much damage to kill. With Sherlock Holmes, it is another point-and-click game, but this one is similar to the older DOS adventure games, and it ended up boring the Nerd as well. He also played two games with Dracula in the title: One simply titled Dracula, where it is a point-and-click game with cut-scenes here and there, and Bram Stoker's Dracula, which is a side-scrolling beat-em-up with the distinct attractions being punching bats and kicking rats. The shoddy platforming mechanics and poor quality FMV left him unimpressed in the end. The last game he dedicated some time to was Wonder Dog, a platformer game with some shoddy level design, but is otherwise unremarkable. Two other games he covered after that was Sewer Shark, which he can only give a two word review: Shit Shark; and Sonic CD, which he said that it's one of the best Sonic games ever made, but it can be disorienting.

In the end, while he does admire the Sega CD for pushing the new CD technology, he decides that it's a bad system due to the technology not being well developed, and for having an abundance of poor games to accompany it.

     Sega 32x 
Cinemassacre link
Featured Sega 32x games: Primal Rage, Doom, Virtual Fighter, and Star Wars Arcade

While the Sega CD had some appeal, the Nerd has no such praise to offer for the Genesis's other add-on, the 32X. On top of not looking flattering when plugged into the Genesis's cartridge slot, the games made specifically for the 32X don't have end labels like Genesis carts do (a criticism he also has for the Atari Jaguar and Nintendo 64). Also like the Sega CD, the 32X needs its own power adapter to use, and with how large and blocky the power bricks for the Genesis and its add-ons are, it's very difficult plugging all three in at the same time.

When the Nerd tries to play some games on the system, he runs into another hurdle: the games have missing graphics and won't work properly unless the 32X is also plugged into the Genesis. The overabundance of cumbersome cables makes the entire Genesis / Sega CD / 32X setup look horrendous.

The Nerd finally starts with Primal Rage, which doesn't look as good as the arcade version (or even the Genesis port) and suffers from controls that are unintuitive and make performing special attacks too difficult. Next, the nerd plays Doom, which suffers from terrible music in comparison to the SNES version and fewer levels. Next is Virtua Fighter, for which the Nerd complains about floaty jumping, bad controls, and weird animations. Finally, the Nerd plays Star Wars Arcade, which looks like crap and is boring.

The Nerd concludes by admitting that he didn't get a chance to review some of the more positively received games, like the Sega CD's Snatcher or the 32X's Knuckles Chaotix, but in either event, the 32X still sucked. There were a handful of games released as part of the "Sega CD 32X line that required both'' console add-ons to play. The overall lack of quality in the games, combined with the eminent release of the Sega Saturn (in addition to the Playstation and N64) and rumors of product defects, spelled doom for the 32X. A stand-alone 32X, dubbed the Sega Neptune, was planned but never released. The Nerd finishes by setting the 32X on fire and destroying it with a well-placed shot from his bow.

    Silver Surfer (NES) 
Cinemassacre link

The review opens up to the Nerd complaining about how stupid Silver Surfer himself looks in his own game. Upon further analysis, he goes into detail about how the gameplay works, only to find out about how touching literally anything can kill you. It only gets worse from there as the faulty level design left him paranoid about what can and can't hurt you, and it isn't helped by how you have to keep tapping the button to fire standard bullets (making him utilize a turbo controller).

He is unable to get past the first stage (sometimes the second or third) of most of the levels and spent more time complaining at how outrageously difficult the game is. In the end, he is unable to reach any of the bosses and decides to go into a drunk-induced rant.

This episode contains examples of:

    Die Hard (NES) 
Cinemassacre link (original)

—> "Well, this is Die Hard for NES. Is it good? Or is it bad? Well, take a wild fucking guess!"

This review had the Nerd struggling with combat, talking about how awkward the controls are and how easy it is to lose all your life. He infers that the objective of the game is to kill all the crooks within the time limit, considering there is a numeric indicator that shows how many are still alive. He has noted that the games does do a good job staying true to the movie, even going as far as to give John Mc Clain's feet its own power bar (in the movie, his feet end up in bad shape, causing him to slow down) which decreases after prolong sprints or walking on broken glass. Although he finds this attention to detail unnecessary, commenting that it would be like if there was a Lethal Weapon video game where you collect dog biscuits as power ups.

The Nerd also had problems with certain gameplay elements, such as events happening seemingly at random in different playthroughs, the annoying darkness that obscures your surrounds unless Mc Clain faces in that direction, and the poor graphics. In the end, he attempts to play the game for real. Cue lots of explosions.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Literal Metaphor
    "Man there are guys coming from everywhere, there are guys coming out of the elevator, there are guys coming out of my ass!"
  • Some Anvils Need to Be Dropped: The Nerd takes a minute in the beginning of his video to point out the rather... disturbing cover of the game.
  • Special Effects Failure: The high quality version of this episode has the dialogue screen for John commenting on the rope missing some colors.
  • This Is Gonna Suck: The quote provided for this episode perfectly summarizes what you're in for.
  • Violation of Common Sense: The Nerd takes a problem to John refusing to climb down the rope and be perfectly willing to jump off a tall building without one.

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    Independence Day (P S1) 
Cinemassacre link

The Nerd's first venture onto the PlayStation One for the fourth of July, and it is on Independence Day (another movie based video game). The Nerd does find the game to be average, but so average that it isn't really worth existing. Problems he had with this game include graphic pop-in (normally not an issue in most games, but where you have to destroy certain objectives and you are not given much time to react when you finally see it is an issue), a non-sensible radar screen, and the annoying, repeating voice clips that constantly remind him of his objective.

Finding that the objectives do not variate very much, he decides to use the password screen to show off more levels, but also has a problem with that given how all the letters and number are all on a single, slowly rotating wheel, so it takes a while to input the password.

After that, he starts reminiscing over another old flying game: Top Gun. Although he hated that with a burning passion, he admits that he feels affectionate towards the game, especially after playing this. The video concludes with him discussing about the Playstation being the cut-off point for retro gaming, and then celebrating the 4th of July, while thanking his audience for watching him.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Metaphorgotten
    "Now what happens when you get a movie that's ass and turn it into a game? Well, you get a piece of shit. Now if you get a piece of ass... that's a good thing, but if you get a piece of shit, you don't want that."

    The Simpsons 
Cinemassacre link
Featured NES games: Bart vs. The Space Mutants, and Bart vs. The World

The Nerd opens up stating that there are a lot of Simpsons based games over the years, but decides to focus only on both Bart vs. The Space Mutants, and Bart vs. The World. He appreciates that the Space Mutants game borrows from They Live, and that it looks really good, but the gameplay isn't very intuitive, considering that run and jump are the same button, the objectives are not as obvious as they claim (to rid Springfield of some of the purple colored objects requires one cherry bomb, and many rockets, neither of which are clearly indicated, nor does it always work). The play mechanics also has aliens disguised as citizens of Springfield, which you can only know by putting on the sunglasses, or otherwise just avoid them or take a hit.note 

The Nerd reaches his breaking point when he got to the second level which requires precise platforming. Unfortunately, this is where the controls really mess him up, as he has to press both B and A to perform a super jump (where normally, you'd want to run then jump, but that's impossible to do). He eventually gives up and decides to move on to Bart vs. The World.

The second game is much more forgiving considering that mini-games are included (only one out of five of them are actually terrible), the controls are not as bad, and the gameplay is a lot more straight forward, usually being that you just have to reach from point a to point b. It still manages to be a difficult game with plenty of trails and errors, such as the skateboard segment in the great wall of China stage, and the maze levels later in the game. While not as bad, it's not very good either.

The Nerd did manage to beat the game, but was left disappointed at the fact that he was given a false ending as the game tells him that he needed to collect all the Krusty heads for the real ending. He then gives a brief geography lesson, only to point out how pathetic his life is from playing games like this.

This episode contains examples of:

  • 100% Completion: The Nerd was dissatisfied when Bart Vs. The World denied him the true ending just because he didn't collect enough of the Krusty heads.
  • Actually Pretty Funny: The Nerd got a chuckle from Ghost!Smithers
    "(chuckle) I gotta say, that's pretty funny."
  • This Loser Is You: Invoked; The Nerd describes just how pathetic he is that he considered video games his own little world and how bad games robbed him of his childhood.

    A Very Nerdy Non-Canonical Captain S Christmas 
PBC Productions youtube link
Games featured: Home Alone (NES), Wrath of the Black Mana (NES)

In this special, non-canonical crossover between the Angry Video Game Nerd and Captain S, this takes place on Christmasnote , in which Game Genie manages to capture Santa Claus. Mean while, the Angry Video Game Nerd is doing another routine episode for Christmas on Home Alone for the NES (complete with PG-rated swearing). Having trouble with the gameplay and controls, he utilizes the game genie in order to see if there is an ending for this game... only to get mistake for Santa Claus and captured by Game Genie himself.

Later on, Captain S celebrates Christmas with his friends at an apartment room, when he is called upon to rescue Santa Claus who is trapped in a video game, Wrath of the Black Mana. As he travels in the game, he soon encounters the Nerd himself. After some bickering, the two agree to work together, and soon became good friends, with the Nerd utilizing his knowledge of the game while Captain S uses his knowledge to combat his foes and navigate obstacles.

In the end, they face Nes, who holds Santa Claus hostage and threatens to destroy him. The Nerd attempts to recall the strategy for his boss pattern, but ends up forgetting it, dooming Captain S to failure, as he starts lamenting about how Christmas is a time of hope and miracles. Nes starts to get a change of heart after hearing this... only for Santa to immediately slap him away, saving Christmas.

The Nerd meets up with Captain S' friends, along with Santa Claus, as they all exchange salutations, with the Nerd ending his with a merry f**king Christmas, shocking the whole group, and causing Santa to cast him away. He also sent a gift to the Nerd, which turned out to be Home Alone 2 on NES, much to his lament. Game Genie also laments in his failure again, but then learns about Hanukkah from Nes, who turns out to be Jewish, and decided to convert on the promise of more days of more presents.

This episode contains examples of:

    Bugs Bunnys Birthday Blowout (NES) 
Cinemassacre link

—> "Wow, Bugs Bunnys Birthday Blowout. It was a blowout alright. A blow out your ass!"

The Nerd picks out Bugs Bunnys Birthday Blowout for NES, and was immediately sickened by the frame rate of the game, where moving around makes the graphics seem choppy. The choppiness is made more apparent when the stage starts to shake. He is also very annoyed at the abundance of bonus stages that are just handing him extra lives like candy.

During the review, he is visited by Bugs Bunny. He get excited to see him... only to violently abuse him whenever he gets a burst of anger. Bugs keeps coming for more, much to his annoyance.

As for the game itself, the Nerd concludes that it is pretty easy but with plenty of unfair elements at the same time, and argues that making a birthday themed game is one of the worst concepts imaginable. After beating the game, he decides to take out all his frustrations on Bugs Bunny.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Butt-Monkey: Bugs Bunny
  • Literal Metaphor: The Nerd throws a fake ass at Bugs Bunny, telling him that he "had his ass handed to [him]"
  • Unstoppable Rage: By the end, the AVGN takes out all his anger on Bugs Bunny, full force. He even decides to shit all over him.

    Atari Porn 
Cinemassacre link (NSFW)
Featured Atari 2600 games: Custer's Revenge, Beat-em and Eat-em, Bachelorette Party, Bachelor Party, Jiggalo, Philly Flasher, Cat House Blues, Knight on the Town, Jungle Fever\\
This episode was never reuploaded on youtube by Cinemassacre, for obvious reasons.

The Nerd gives a brief history lesson on the career of Commander George Armstrong Custer, talking about the events leading to Custer's Last Stand. The reason he discussed this was to bring up the fact that there exists a notoriously bad Atari 2600 game, Custer's Revenge. He plays the game, and while he was initially amused by the concept (Custer is suppose to go across the screen, dodging spears, to have sex with a bound native-woman), he quickly gets bored and disturbed by it by how poorly designed the game is, and explains how offensive its existence is.

After that, he then mentions how Atari didn't really regulate any games being released for their console, and thus allowed any game to be made. This also means more pornographic Atari games, as he briefly goes into a whole collection of them he happens to have.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Hypocritical Humor: Likely intended as sarcasm; He ends his review of Bachelorette Party by saying to the player character "what a whore." Then he ends his review of Bachelor Party by saying "what a stud."
  • Rape as Comedy: Subverted; in the context of Custer's Revenge, it may or may not be rape, although the Nerd did find it amusing... for a few seconds before deciding the game is awful.
  • Uncanny Valley: The graphics, obviously.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: The Nerd expresses how weird it is if some naked chick were to come in and start humping the crap out of you. He looks on at the door. No body enters.
    "You know, that's really not fair. I get Jason Vorhees, Freddy Kreuger, Spiderman, Bugs Bunny... but no naked chick..."

    Nintendo Power 
Cinemassacre link

The Nerd decides to take a break from reviewing video games to discuss Nintendo Power, the significance they had on gaming culture, along with many other things included, such as game hints, extra goodies, etc.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Deadpan Snarker: The Nintendo Power editors responding to criticism.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: The Virtual Boy, The Wizard, Super Mario Bros 3, Rambo, and Fester's Quest were all glanced upon in this episode, with Fester's Quest getting special attention.
    "You want to know all about it?" *stares at the audience* "''Next time.''"
  • Squick: Some of the promotional pages the Nerd points out, such as the jar of toe-nail clipping, the lunch lady holding a whole plate of meatloaf, which the Nerd insists is feces, and even one that is so bad, the Nerd stapled the pages shut.
  • That Sounds Familiar: The Nerd sings the fan-submitted Zelda rap, which sounds exactly like the advertising for the game.
    "Oh hey, it's the Zelda rap! The Legend of Zelda is really rad, the creatures of Ganon are really bad"
    (beat)
    "This sounds familiar..."

    Fester's Quest 
Cinemassacre link
Featured games: Fester's Quest (NES), and The Addam's Family (GEN)

One of the many Nerds who make up the Addam's Family decides to review Fester's Quest for NES. While the game looked great in terms of presentation, the Nerd didn't have many nice things to say about it.

    Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2600) 
Cinemassacre link

The Nerd is walking across the country side when he finds himself at a yard sale, manned by a farmer playing on his guitar. The Nerd finds that he is selling a copy of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the Atari 2600. After a brief bartering session, the Farmer convince the Nerd to purchase the game for $150, on the promise of receiving another game for free. The Nerd examines it in horror, though we don't know what it is.

The Nerd returns home to play the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The game has you control Leather Face himself as you direct him to hunt down and brutally murder innocent girls. The idea of excessive violence aside, he finds himself having trouble enjoying the game due to how poorly designed the graphics are, and how Leather Face moves too fast to where touching any obstacle stops him for a few moments. In the end, he considers it a bad game and shuts off his tv. After that, a fan of his enters the room, and starts asking for a tour. After a brief chat about his love for the Nerd, he reveals that he's open to game reviewing, but starts to become really disturbing when he suggests skinning the Nerd alive and wearing it. This prompts the Nerd to knock him out with another Atari 2600, but then finds Leather Face coming in to kill him. The Nerd manages to flee, eventually ending up seeing the Farmer from earlier, who does manage to calm him down... before knocking out the Nerd with his guitar. He then drags the Nerd off to a secluded area.

The Nerd wakes up to find himself tied and bound to a chair, as the Farmer, the psycho fan, and Leather Face, decides to torture him by forcing the Nerd to play the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Soon, the Nerd gets more enraged as time goes on. In the end, he manages to break free of his restraints from pure anger alone. What ensues is the Nerd escaping while being chased by Leather Face. However, Leather Face is stopped dead on his tracks as his foot brushes against a wheelchair. As the Nerd witnesses Leather Face desperate attempts at moving away, the Nerd decides to depart.

As the Nerd arrives home, safe and sound, he lifts up the box of the other Atari game he purchased from that farmer. It turns out to be Halloween for the Atari 2600...

    Halloween 
Cinemassacre link
Featured 2600 games: Halloween, Haunted House, and Frankenstein

The Nerd informs his viewers about his babysitting duties he has to perform later, but does have the time to review Halloween for the Atari 2600. After the baffling cover for the game (just masking tape with "Halloween" written on with an orange marker), he turns the game on to find himself in a rather repetitious game, where you play as the babysitter character who has to find kids in a house and escort them to safety, while avoiding Michael Myers. While he does manage to amuse himself with invoking possibly the first game to have a head decapitation by walking into Michael Myers, he ends up getting bored of the game, and stops playing when he begins to remember that he once owned this game before.

Afterward, a pair of young trick-or-treaters arrived to get some candy. Instead, the Nerd poops in one bag, and puts an Atari 2600 with Halloween in the other, and shoos the kids off as he decides to do two more game reviews. For Haunted House, he complained about the complete darkness and the difficulty of the game, where in Frankenstein, he does find it to be a good game, but is annoyed by some of it's shortcomings. These problems include the faulty platforming on the bottom, not being able to move through one screen to the other. After witnessing the Frankenstein monster leave his tv, he destroys it and decides to carry out his Babysitting duties.

Once he arrives at the house, he finds that the children he is suppose to care of are the same trick-or-treaters from earlier. They force the Nerd to play Halloween and constantly annoy him as he (reluctantly) plays it. The electricity in the home goes out, prompting the Nerd to investigate the basement where he finds that the circuit board was switched off. After turning it back on, Michael Myers appears and gives chase. The Nerd manages to fight him off as he retreats to the living room to find that Halloween on the Atari 2600 is still playing. Michael Myers catches up and strangles the Nerd, but ends up getting distracted by the game. He decides to play it, although he appears to not enjoy it as he goes to murder the Nerd. The children then comes to rescue him by beating up Michael Myers. With the Nerd and the children safe, Myers manages to disappear.

    Dragons Lair (NES) 

    Christmas Carol, Part 1 
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Featured game: Home Alone 2 (NES)

The episode begins with a brief recap of the ending of the Captain S Christmas in July Special, where the Nerd finds a present in his room, which contains the NES cartridge of Home Alone 2, much to his dismay.

Now really angry about his gift, and wearing a black top hat, he goes all out on the game as he complains about a lot of elements involved with the game, such as keys being able to harm you, ridiculous obstacles, not much in the way of being able to defend yourself, the means to defend yourself are not always reliable (some enemies are affected by certain methods, and are immune to others), and the objectives not always clear enough. He does manage to fight a boss and make it past the first level, but he ends up rage quitting when the level design doesn't make it obvious as to where you're allowed to stand, and gets too frustrated to attempt to get further in the game.

He starts behaving like the Scrooge at that point, berating his own video game collection, and Christmas in general. Soon, a cartridge of Double Dragon for the Sega Master System knocks him on the head, causing him to fall to the ground. He is then visited by the ghost of Christmas past.

    Christmas Carol, Part 2 
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Featured games: Shaq Fu (SNES), Far Cry Vengeance (Wii), Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz (Wii), and Boogie (Wii)

Starting off from part 2, the Nerd talks to the ghost of Christmas past, who decides to take him further back to show him his cherish memories of him playing the Super Mario games on NES, as well as an Atari 2600 game. The Nerd feels like he remembers nothing but torture, considering how he hasn't always been good at some video games. He does recall a very nice event where on Christmas, he received his "first 16-bit machine", or more specifically, the Super Nintendo Entertainment System.

The Nerd finds himself in the present time, standing in front of the ghost of Christmas present. He asks the Nerd if he recalls playing some good games back then, such as Super Metroid and Super Mario World, and decides to show what he will do in the present: Review Shaq Fu for the Super Nintendo.

As he stands outside of his room, the Nerd watches his other self play Shaq Fu, who quickly complains about how ridiculous the concept was, the awful controls, and laments the idea that the Sega Genesis version may be even worse. He refused to go into further detail on the basis that the concept, once again, is just that bad, and even mocks it with different titles that sounds just as dumb.

Unable to stand witness to this, the Nerd finds that the ghost had disappeared. Instead, a different ghost shows up, one that the Nerd recognizes. He angrily questions their purpose to making him witness his past and present. He then gets teleported into the future, where he witness Future Nerd, now old and frail, review the Nintendo Wii.

Future!Nerd covers a few games on the Wii, mainly complaining about the implementation of motion controls for some of the games, such as how inaccurate and non-intuitive the controls are for Far Cry Vengeance, and how unresponsive the controls can be for Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz, at least only for the mini games. The review comes to a halt as the Nerd decides to dance to Boogie... only to suffer a heart attack. As he dies, Present!Nerd begs the ghost to stop. He then gets teleported to his grave, as he goes through his own personal torment.

After all of that, he wakes up in his room, suddenly happy about Christmas, and starts to get excited about playing video games again. He decides to pop in Super Mario World, declaring that he should play good games from now on... only to quickly get angry, eject the cartridge, and declares that he's going to play some shitty ones.

    Chronologically Confused About the Legend of Zelda Timeline 

Originally intended as a lost episode, James decided to release this to the public despite thinking that the Nerd would be out of character. He makes it clear that by this time, Twilight Princess was the newest game. It should also be noted that this was before Skyward Sword, and thus before Nintendo did establish an official timeline for the series.
The Nerd began to discuss about the first two Legend of Zelda games, then starts to talk about how the rest of the games contributed to a rather unclear, inconsistent timeline, starting with A Link to the Past, a prequel to the first two games, then Link's Awakening which is implied to be a sequel to the prequel. He would then mention how Ocarina of Time is another prequel. Then Majora's Mask, which is a sequel to the young Link's prequel.

The Nerd dives in further as he talks about how the chronology got messed up even further with the release of Wind Waker, taking place after Ocarina of Time where the land of Hyrule had flooded to prevent Ganon from resurfacing, and how other games tend to go further back in chronology, and how some others, such as the Four Swords games, have no clear place in the timeline. He ends up talking about how everyone had attempted to piece the whole timeline together, leaving some games out, or including them in different orders, and he confines to the fact that the chronology of the game is a gigantic mess.

In the end, The Nerd does concede on the fact that the Zelda games are intended to be played on their own, as in it is not required to understand any other game in the franchise in order to enjoy the latest installment, which he considers to be a good thing for anyone new to the series. He also commends the fans for attempting such a task, but reassures them that this is a task that does not require a loss of sleep.

    Rambo 
Featured games: Rambo (NES), Rambo (SMS), Rambo 3 (SMS)

With the new Rambo movie on the horizon, the Nerd decides to celebrate by playing Rambo for NES. He immediately finds the game to play similar to Zelda 2: The Adventure of Link (although at the time of release, Zelda 2 was not out in the west, but it was released in Japan, thus giving credence to the Rambo game knocking off Zelda 2). The Nerd is pretty upset at the fact that the cover falsely advertises Rambo shooting a machine gun, when the majority of the game has you fighting all sorts of insects and animals with your knife, and variations of those knives. However, you do eventually fight the appropriate enemies and get a machine gun, but that doesn't happen until the end of the game.

The Nerd also complains about questionable game design, in regards to how in some important areas, you can go right forever (unless you talk to an important character), but when going left, it takes you somewhere different. Other game design choices involve falling off of a bridge when you get hit (forcing you to start all the way back to get back on the bridge), and how it closely follows the movie but also takes too many liberties with it at the same time. A lot of the cut-scenes are recreations of the scenes in the movie, which is good, but the Nerd argues that they followed the movie too closely and did not focus a lot of effort in the game itself. In fact, he wondered out loud why the developers designed Rambo as a third-rate Zelda 2 clone, as oppose to being similar to Contra.

After a glitch occurred that sent the Nerd to the beginning of the game, he decides to skip to the end boss with a password, but he ends up ranting against how needlessly long the password system is and how multiple characters look too similar to other characters, thus making it likely to mess up the input. After beating the final boss, and turning Murdock into a frog (no, really), he decides to destroy the cartridge.

As a bonus, he decided to look at a couple more Rambo games, namely Rambo for the Sega Master System. He is pleasantly surprised to find the game to behave more like an action shooter, which happens to play similar to Ikari Warriors, complete with similar issues, but is otherwise much more playable. Then he looks at Rambo 3 for the same console, which uses the light gun. Unfortunately, his light gun didn't work, causing him to end the review prematurely.

After all that, he expresses excitement over wanting to see Rambo 4... only to recall that the movie title was changed to John Rambo (which he recalled making a joke about in a previous episode). He discusses why this was a bad move, even mentioning how much worse it is with the new movie simply called "Rambo." He angrily wonders out loud about how when a person says they are going to see Rambo, would they mean Rambo as in the first movie? Rambo: First Blood Part II? Or Rambo, the fourth movie? His mind ends up imploding afterward.

This episode contains examples of:

  • Funny Background Event: When preparing to destroy the cartridge, one can see a tin on the shelf labelled, 'Fish asshole' with the claim that it's 'a low-fat snack'.
  • Updated Re-release: Sort of; The DVD and Blu-Ray versions of this video had all the movie clips removed.
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