Baker's Dozen
In New Orleans, Ruby Cuzzins (Mabel King) owns and operates Cuzzins' Dozens, a shop where she bakes and sells cookies imbibed with magic to customers. Though she puts on a friendly face in public, she's actually a wicked voodoo witch who regularly punishes her assistant and father Aloysius (Vernon Washington), who ran out on her and her mother to get drunk on moonshine, by painfully transforming him into a rat. One day, unscrupulous advertising executive Henry Hogan (Larry Manetti) enters Ruby's shop, having heard a great deal about her reputation and inspires her to franchise the shop, seeking to profit from her special recipes. Aloysius gives Henry a box of special gingerbread men that act as voodoo dolls, which Henry soon uses to get rid of anyone who tries to stand in the way of his profits and standing. When he runs low and confronts Ruby for more, she vows not to make things easy for him.
Tropes:
- 13 Is Unlucky: A baker's dozen consists of thirteen cookies, and of the dozen he stole from Ruby and gave to Henry, Aloysius only gave him 12 while he kept the thirteenth, which he uses to get back at his abusive daughter.
- And I Must Scream: Ruby's death comes from her transformed father eating the head of the gingerbread man he saved for himself. We don't see the actual death, but Ruby's horrific screaming illustrates just how painful it is.
- Antagonistic Offspring: Ruby tracked down Aloysius, the father who abandoned her and her mother for being malevolent witches, and enslaved him as an indentured servant in her cookie shop. She also regularly transforms him into a rat in an implicitly painful process, both to punish him and mostly for her own sadism.
- Awful Wedded Life: Henry's neglected wife Helen repeatedly and furiously accuses him of cheating on her with his secretary Marlene, and when he accidentally burns her via dunking the gingerbread man in his coffee, he does it again and again to confirm the effect works, smiling and laughing maniacally as she screams. Near the end, when Helen sees a lipstick kiss on the napkin accompanying Henry's last cookie (likely planted there by Ruby), she furiously crushes it, crushing Henry in the process.
- Baleful Polymorph: Aloysius is forcibly transformed into a rat by his abusive daughter, and he demonstrates that the change is heavily painful.
- Bittersweet Ending: Henry is crushed to death when his wife crushes his magic gingerbread man in a jealous rage, and at the same time, Aloysius is turned into a rat, the episode ending on the note he may never become human again. Despite this, he makes Ruby pay for her actions by eating the head of the gingerbread man he saved from Henry's baker's dozen, letting her ability to infuse dark magic in her cookies die with her.
- Chekhov's Gun: The thirteenth gingerbread man from the titular baker's dozen, or more specifically, the fact that Henry didn't get it.
- Death by Irony: Henry is gruesomely killed when his wife Helen crumples up his last voodoo gingerbread man while he's in the shower. It's a fitting act, given she was the victim of his first cookie, getting burned when he absent-mindedly dunked the cookie in his coffee.
- Disappeared Dad: Aloysius ran out on Ruby and her mother to get drunk on moonshine after he learned they were witches. She tracked him down and turned him into her abused servant ever since as revenge for doing so.
- The Dog Bites Back: Aloysius, stuck as a rat, kills Ruby by eating the head of the gingerbread man she stole from him and didn't give to Henry.
- Double-Meaning Title / Foreshadowing: Both tropes come into play when Aloysius gives Henry the gingerbread men. The advertiser is confused since Cuzzins' Dozens only sells twelve types of cookies and he's never seen any gingerbread men, to which Aloysius tells him that it's a baker's dozen. The end of the episode reveals that Aloysius had actually stolen the 13 gingerbread men from Ruby, and gave 12 of them to Henry while he kept the thirteenth to kill her.
- Evil Is Hammy: Ruby is as bombastic as she is villainous, laughing incessantly as her father squirms.
- Evil Versus Evil: The wicked and cruel Henry partners up with the equally wicked and cruel Ruby to market and franchise her cookie shop, and both characters actively look forward to screwing over the other for all the profits.
- Faux Affably Evil: Ruby comes across as a smiley, bouncy, friendly, and all-around affable baker. Her real self is a ruthlessly cruel voodoo witch who abuses her manservant father and makes no hesitation to double-cross Henry when he stiffs her. As for her smile, she just eats some of her enchanted "Chocolate Chip Happiness" cookies to look happy.
- Gory Discretion Shot: Henry and Ruby's gruesome deaths are kept offscreen, but we still get brief glimpses of their agony. A rivaling executive Henry indirectly kills is demonstrated when he stabs one of the gingerbread men.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: Aloysius left his family to get drunk on moonshine, likely because he had learned they were malefic witches.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Henry is crushed to death by his aggressive wife, and Ruby gets her head eaten by her now-rat father.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Inverted. As Ruby tortures Aloysius by turning him into a rat, she launches into a monologue that reveals that he's her father, and she keeps abusing him as payback for abandoning her and her mother because of their status as witches, as well as to go hunt moonshine.
- Painful Transformation: Ruby turning her enslaved father into a rat, with him screaming the whole time.
- Perpetual Smiler / Stepford Smiler: Ruby often eats one of her "Chocolate Chip Happiness" cookies when dealing with customers or Henry, in order to keep up her poker face.
- Power-Up Food: While the voodoo gingerbread men are rather obvious in their effects, Henry notes that Ruby's other cookies happen to bring a variety of different effects on consumers. "Chocolate Chip Happiness" keeps the eater looking pleasant and smiley, "Shortbread Painkillers" cure physical ailments in seconds, "Oatmeal Bodybuilders" give the eater the sensation of a week-long exercise session, and "Peanut Butter Tranquilizers" are hinted to give the eater a restful sleep.
- Present Absence: Aloysius ran out on Ruby and her mom when he learned they were witches, likely drinking moonshine to help himself forget the knowledge. Ever since she found him, Ruby turned him into her indentured servant, forcing him to do all the heavy lifting in her shop.
- Time-Compression Montage: Radio bulletins, newspaper headlines, and magazine covers are used to illustrate how quickly Ruby franchises her shop under Henry's guidance, as well as how Henry himself gets to the top of the advertising business by killing his rivals via the gingerbread men, then how he declares bankruptcy when Ruby cuts ties with him.
- Time Skip: After the above montage ends, the episode skips ahead a year after Ruby and Henry partner up.
- Token Good Teammate: Aloysius, the father who abandoned Ruby and her mother, is the only person with any decency throughout the episode.
- Villain with Good Publicity: Ruby and Henry, the former through her faux-sunny attitude and magical recipes, the latter for his slick tongue and his using black magic to make his way to the top.
- Voodoo Doll: Gingerbread men, to be specific. The characters use these magic cookies to exact revenge on those they want to hurt or kill.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Helen disappears after she kills Henry, so it's left ambiguous as to whether the police will question her when she and they find Henry's crushed body in the shower.
- World of Jerkass: Every single character in the episode is inherently villainous, with Ruby being a wicked witch who tortures her father and tries to screw over her partner, Henry using voodoo to kill off his rivals while also trying to screw over Ruby, and his wife Helen being a furious nag who continuously rebukes him for supposedly cheating on her. You know this cast is screwed up when Aloysius, the father who abandoned his destitute wife and child to get drunk, is the most well-meaning character.
- Would Harm a Senior: Ruby exacts this on Aloysius, her father, who should've retired a long time ago, with painful transformations and overall horrendous treatment in order to make him pay for leaving her and her mother to get drunk on moonshine. It's even subtly applied in his opening monologue that Ruby magically extended his lifespan to keep him suffering.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: Downplayed. Ruby knew immediately that Aloysius had stolen a dozen of her voodoo gingerbread men and slipped them to Henry in an attempt to kill her, but she wasn't worried. She already knew Henry's use of the cookies would mean success for her (since she could counteract any negative voodoo he would bring her way) and that he would wind up getting screwed over in the long run. What she didn't count on was that Aloysius actually took 13 cookies, and gave Henry 12 of them while he kept the last one for himself.
