Airdate: Monday, March 24, 2003
Sender: Dan, PA
Strong Bad: (as the opening to a PBS program) This email is brought to you by a grant from The Cheat (a version of the Public Broadcasting Corporation logo resembling The Cheat appears, captioned "The Cheat since 1983"), and the support of Viewers Like You. (the caption "Viewers Like You" appears)
Dan from PA asks Strong Bad if he's considered writing an autobiography on his life, because "everyone likes you anyway" ("That's true!") and "no one wants to read about a boring person, like Strong Sad".
Strong Bad: Wait a minute... lemme check something... (runs a spellcheck, gets "0 spelling errors found!") No way! No mispellings, a good idea, made fun of Strong Sad... Don't get me wrong, Dan, I mean, I wanna make fun of you but, uh, you've put together a solid email! I'm gonna print this thing out and save it for posterity! Maybe a little prosperity. (The Paper prints out a copy of Dan's email, which Strong Bad collects)
Strong Bad informs Dan ("you big, dumb moron") that he's already working on his memoirs: a books-on-tape series called Words I Probably Said. Strong Bad even lets the viewers listen in on a few snippets:
- A basketball game where Strong Bad was on a team with two guys known as Reg and The Deke, with whom he wasn't such good friends as he thought he was.
- A love affair with "a very, very special lady" who had "skinny blonde hair", spent all her time "at the beach, gazing at a photo of me", but "had to go to another planet for reasons too complex to elaborate on."
- One of The Cheat's get-rich-quick schemes, which was brilliant enough to make Strong Bad laugh until "Milk and cookies shot out of my nose!"
Strong Bad: So, you get the picture. I mean it's gonna be great. People will listen to it when they go on road trips. Maybe play it on their Walkman when they go jogging in the park. I mean, I bet it'll make people wanna run faster because of how good it is. That thing could double as one of those weight-loss tapes. Okay, take it away, The Paper! Preeeowww... Come on. Preeeowww... What's the d—?
(The Paper suddenly and abruptly comes down)
Strong Bad: Oh. Musta been a paper jam.
Tropes:
- Brick Joke: One of the possibilities Strong Bad mentions about his autobiography is that people will "play it on their Walkman when they go jogging in the park" because of how good it is. An Easter Egg shows that the autobiography does indeed have some potential as a weight-loss tape. The person jogging and listening to the tape? None other than The King of Town.
- Curse Cut Short:
- During Strong Bad's basketball anecdote on Words I Probably Said, he recalls how "The Deke" "accidentally shoved me to the ground and called me a—" before real-time Strong Bad decides to skip that part.
- At the end of the email, Strong Bad tries to cue the Paper to come down, and mutters "What's the d—?", only to be interrupted as the Paper finally appears.
- Girlfriend in Canada: One of Strong Bad's stories on Words I Probably Said is about a "very, very special lady" with "skinny blonde hair" who "had to go to another planet for reasons too complex to elaborate on."Strong Bad: That was a true part!
- Malicious Misnaming: Strong Bad types "Dumpus" in place of "Strong Sad" while bringing up the strong points of Dan's email.
- Obligatory Joke: Even though Strong Bad praises Dan for writing "a solid e-mail", he still throws in a half-hearted insult.Strong Bad: Well, Dan, you big, dumb moron...
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Strong Bad says "Preeow" in an effort to cue the Paper.
- Spraying Drink from Nose: Apparently Strong Bad laughed so hard when he heard about The Cheat's scheme "Milk and cookies shout out of my nose!"
- Unreliable Narrator: Strong Bad's autobiography is full of dubious stories. The title, Words I Probably Said, is something of a giveaway.
- Viewers Like You: Parodied in the opening:Strong Bad: This email is brought to you by a grant from The Cheat and the support of Viewers Like You.
- Zany Scheme: The Cheat apparently had a scheme that involved adding extra zeroes to a one-dollar bill to make it a thousand-dollar bill. Strong Bad claims that it actually worked.
The King of Town: (listening to Strong Bad's tape, jogging extremely slowly) Keep moving! Work off the weight! This is a new beginning for the K.O.T.! Oof!
Coach Z: (somberly) This is a dark day for track and field.
