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Recap / Strong Bad Email E 152 ISP

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Airdate: Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Sender: Gary, UK

Strong Bad gets an email asking about what kind of Internet service he gets from his self-proclaimed "bestest buddy in the whole wide world" ("Not even close!") "Gary You 'Kay?"

Strong Bad: Yeah, I'm fine, Gary. Calm down. Of course I've got the internet. How else could I download this awesome animated gif/jif of a cute breakdancing rodent?

Sadly, despite having been downloading for two days, Strong Bad's animated rodent art is only at eleven percent, with "less than a fortnight to go". A furious Strong Bad decides to call up tech support and give them a piece of his mind, and ends up finding Homestar on the other end of the line.

Homestar: Thank you for calling the internet, may I have your account number or identity theft, please?
Strong Bad: No, but you can have a heapin' helpin' of my unbridled rage!
Homestar: (slowly, reading from a script) Ma'am, please calm down. Your CD tray is not a cup holder. I cannot help you clear your browser cache. No, I'm not in India.
Strong Bad: Shut up and listen. My internet's crawling along like... something funny... that crawls along.
Homestar: All right, I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.
Strong Bad: What?!

After Homestar subjects him to "the hold music" and an offer to "send you my weight in free sign-up CDs", Strong Bad hangs up and decides to march down to his ISP in person... and naturally, his service is provided by Bubs.

Bubs: Well if it isn't my lone internet customer. How's e-business?
Strong Bad: Now listen her, old man Bubs! What's the big idea of throttling me down?
Bubs: Throttling you down? That's not one of the ninety-nine ways I rip you off!

Bubs suggests they check on things over at the Datum Center ("Dat'um sounds good!"), and the two walk into Bubs' garage, which has a row of computer towers... including one with a garden hose sticking out of it. The two follow the hose to Strong Mad, who has apparently been literally sucking up Bubs' bandwidth.

Strong Bad: Strong Mad!
Strong Mad: (in a high-pitched voice) I'M A WEBSITE!

Bubs and Strong Bad share a laugh at this (one that gets a little maniacal near the end), and we cut back to the Lappy, where the GIF of an (allegedly) break-dancing mouse finally finishes downloading.

Tropes include:

  • Continuity Nod: Strong Mad previously tried to use helium to make his voice higher in "helium". Only now does he succeed in getting a high voice.
  • Con Man: Bubs openly admits to ripping off his ISP customers in ninety-nine different ways.
  • Cowboy BeBop at His Computer: In-universe. Strong Bad refers to the animated .gif as a mouse breakdancing, but when the gif finally arrives (and the mouse acts like a hip-hop star and doesn't do much dancing at all), the image openly admits that it's "Not Really Breakdancing".
  • Everyone Has Standards: When Strong Bad accuses him of throttling his Internet service, Bubs protests "That's not one of the ninety-nine ways I rip you off!"
  • Everybody Laughs Ending: Parodied when Strong Bad and Bubs laugh at Strong Mad's high voice, only for Strong Bad's laughter to increase in pitch and decrease in sanity.
  • Hello, [Insert Name Here]: Homestar refers to Strong Bad as "ma'am", and simply reads straight from the script for the entirety of the call.
  • It's Pronounced "Tro-PAY": Strong Bad pronounces .gif as both "gif" and "jif".
  • Metaphorgotten: Strong Bad calls tech support to complain "My internet's crawling along like... something... funny... that crawls along."
  • New Job as the Plot Demands: Bubs now serves as Strong Bad's internet service provider.
  • Operator from India: Homestar denies being one. Apparently, it's written into his script.
  • The Operators Must Be Crazy: Homestar is the customer service representative Strong Bad has to sit through in order to receive service.
    Homestar: All right. I can help you with that. Please hold while I transfer you to someone who can help you with that.
    Strong Bad: What?!
  • Plug 'n' Play Technology: In the Homestar Runner universe, one is capable of siphoning bandwidth by cramming a garden hose into the CD port of a computer and then sucking it out. Bandwidth also evidently has the same properties of helium.
  • Reveal Shot: As Bubs wonders where the trouble in the Datum Center could be, it cuts to Strong Bad standing next to a computer with a hose sticking out as he sarcastically says "Yeah, I wonder..."

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