Airdate: Monday, October 24, 2005
Sender: Justin Wagley, Keller TX
Justin from "Killer Taxes" has been having trouble falling asleep "latley", and wants a bed-time story from Strong Bad.
Thanks to The Cheat being scarred by a "shock-you-mentary" on gingivitis, "We've had to cook up such an elaborate go-to-sleep scheme for The Cheat that I believe it's officially reached rigamarole status." The components needed for "getting The Cheat to freaking go to sleep" are:
- "The Cheat's security, um, item", a "grodalated" sponge covered in bandages and a crudely-drawn face known as The Denzel.
- The Cheat's favorite bedtime snack, Suudzu, a glass of skim milk with gummi bears floating in it.
- The bedtime story proper, in the form of "The Cheat's Cheatventures in Moses Maloneland", in which The Cheat hangs out with basketball star Moses Malone, winning debates against national monuments, dissing their nemesis Maggot-Man, and playing video games ("The Adventures of Lolo? You'd better s-s-save saved the receipt!")
- The Cheat's favorite lullaby, which involves Strong Bad shouting about bran muffins while Strong Mad accompanies on chainsaw.
- And when all else fails, they chuck "two or three roach foggers" under The Cheat's grill, make sure he's still got a pulse, and call it a night.
- Art Shift: "The Cheat's Cheatventures in Moses Maloneland" is done in Powered By The Cheat style.
- Bread, Eggs, Breaded Eggs: Strong Bad protests to Justin "I'm not your freaking babysitter! Or your Dad! Or your... dadbysitter."
- Color Failure: When The Cheat watches the "shock-you-mentary" about gingivitis, he turns white with fear.
- Chainsaw Good: Strong Mad "plays" the chainsaw while performing The Cheat's lullaby.
- Documentary of Lies: In-universe, the "shock-you-mentary" The Cheat watches claims that gingivitis turns your gums into chocolate pudding.
- Everything Makes a Mushroom: Maggot Man explodes in a mushroom cloud when Moses Malone kicks him.
- The Fourth Wall Will Not Protect You: The ending is apparently meant to simulate the viewer passing out from the events of the e-mail.
- Not Hyperbole: An Easter egg in the form of a Certificate of Rigmarolarity apparently proves Strong Bad was serious when he said getting The Cheat to bed has "officially reached rigmarole status".
- Security Blanket: The Denzel, The Cheat's "teddy sponge".
- Shout-Out: Strong Bad tells The Cheat "Sleep tight, sweet prince" before using the bug bombs on him.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Maggot-Man is a clingy hanger-on from "The Cheat's Cheatventures in Moses Maloneland" who apparently always tries to bug Moses and The Cheat into letting him hang out with them.
- You Can Panic Now: Parodied; Strong Bad blames The Cheat's sleeplessness on a "shock-you-mentary" about gingivitis.