Airdate: Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Sender: Rafael FL
Rafael of the "Rafael Football League" writes to tell Strong Bad he's the coolest, then gets down to "buisness" and adds that Strong Bad should make his own theme park.
"Strong Bad's Mount Ridesplace USA" would boast "more rides than you or your grandmother can handle" (though they ask that you not actually bring your grandmother), including:
- The Bowels of Trogdor, their "flagship roller coaster" designed to "whip you around and around until you either throw up or catch fire somehow", as demonstrated when the King of Town rides it and spontaneously combusts.
- Something called "Sweet Cuppin' Cakes Land", for those too short to ride the Bowels of Trogdor (like The Cheat)
- Shows like "The Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt Spook-tacular", where Strong Sad dons a witch's pointy hat and Strong Mad repeatedly tackles him.
- "More games than you or your grandfather can handle", the kind that involve throwing stuff at other stuff to win "cheap generic stuffed animal versions of ten-year-old cartoons... like this Bubs with a horn!" Pom Pom isn't happy to find he's supposed to get the rings inside the bottles at Bubs' "Throw Game".
- Costumed mascots "running around anticking... antiquing...", including Coach Z, Homestar, and Homsar as Stoppy the Stop-Sign, Poppy the Tire, and General Tso's Chicken (AKA "Ryan S").Homestar: Hey, Stoppy, is your suit chafing you like crazy?
Coach Z: Well, to tell ya the truth there, Poppy, I've always enjoyed a good chafe.
Homsar: Aaah, it's time for tasteball!
Homestar: Oh crap, it's tasteball already?
But until Strong Bad can find the time to "start robbing WAY more hot actresses" to fund his dream theme park, he'll have to make do with "the Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure", a low-budget Jungle Cruise knockoff that involves sitting in a cardboard box next to a running hose, and features encounters with a giant fake boulder and "headhunters" (played by the Bear Holding a Shark).
(The Paper comes down)
Strong Bad: Don't forget to experience the fury of... our gift shooop.
- Amusing Injuries: The "Strong Sad Gets Decked Repeatedly Stunt Spook-tacular" involves Strong Mad tackling Strong Sad over and over while the latter wears a witch's hat.
- Bad "Bad Acting": Strong Bad offers lifeless commentary on the Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.
- Continuity Nod: The Bear Holding a Shark fills the role of a head-hunter on the Strong Badian Riverquest Safariventure.
- Funny Background Event: During the scene when Strong Bad shows off the park's mascots, you can see and hear that the King of Town still on the Bowels of Trogdor (and still on fire) in the background.
- Goofy Suit: Mount Ridesplace USA includes Homestar, Coach Z, and Homsar dressed up as the Tire, the Stop Sign, and General Tso's Chicken, respectively.
- Incendiary Exponent: The Bowels of Trogdor roller coaster is designed to "whip you around and around until you either puke or catch fire somehow". We see the latter happen to the King of Town as he rides the ride.
- Moving the Goalposts: After Pom Pom apparently wins the ring toss game at Mount Ridesplace USA, Bubs informs him "You gotta get those rings inside the bottle!"
- Mythology Gag: The "Bubs with a horn" dolls are based on a crappy prototype Bubs doll made for the Brothers Chaps by a Chinese toy company.
- Never Heard That One Before: Strong Bad reads Rafael's sign-off of "Crapfully crap" as "Sincerely yours", preceded by a weary sign.
- Shoddy Knock Off Product: Strong Bad describes the prizes at the carnival games as "cheap generic stuffed animal versions of ten-year-old cartoons. Like this Bubs with a horn!"
- Shout-Out: The Strong Badian Badian Riverquest Safariventure, and especially Strong Bad's commentary thereon, is a parody of the Jungle Cruise attraction at various Disney Theme Parks.
- Souvenir Land: Strong Badia Mount Ridesplace USA. Seen to an even greater extend with the "Riverquest Safariventure"Strong Bad: Don't forget to experience the fury of... our gift shop.
- The Stinger: This email features a particularly long and elaborate one showing just how bad the production values for the Riverquest Safariventure are.
- Strange Minds Think Alike: Homestar reacts to one of Homsar's non sequitur remarks like he knows exactly what Homsar is talking about.Homsar: Aaah, it's time for tasteball!
Homestar: Oh crap, it's tasteball already?
- Worst. Whatever. Ever!: Homestar's reaction to the Riverquest Safariventure is "That might have been the worst three thousand dollars I ever spent."
- You Make Me Sic: Strong Bad makes fun of Rafael spelling "business" as "buisness".
- You Must Be This Tall to Ride: Anyone wanting to ride the Bowels of Trogdor must be as tall as Trogdor's beefy arm. The Cheat is way too short, even when wearing a top hat and standing on tip-toes.