Airdate: June 23, 1999
The boys (save Kenny) take wood shop and, upon being asked who the biggest troublemaker in their class is, decide to pit Craig against Tweek (even though both boys hardly know each other and have nothing against each other). Meanwhile, Kenny takes Home Ec to escape being killed by the machinery and the shop teacher, Mr. Adler, tries to deal with memories of his dead fiancee.
"Tweek vs. Craig" contains the following:
- Addiction Displacement: Implied. Mr. Adler compulsively chews nicotine gum when he has flashbacks of his wife's death, suggesting that he originally coped by smoking. When he runs out of gum, he attempts suicide.
- Ass Kicks You: Cartman's surprisingly effective method of Sumo wrestling, which provides the page quote.
- Bait-and-Switch: When Mr. Adler says "Jesus Christ, what was I thinking?!" during his suicide attempt on the table saw, you'd think that he regrets his decision to commit suicide, but instead he turns his body upwards on the table saw so his head is facing the blade rather than his genitalia.
- The Blank: One of the students in wood shop class ends up getting his face stuck in a belt sander, resulting him with no face.
- Blatant Lies: When Clyde interrupts Mr. Adler from reminiscing his wife's timeline, he asks if his wife is dead. Adler responds "no!" and tells him to get back to work so as to avoid further questions.
- Call-Back: While Cartman is training Craig, he exclaims, "Respect my authoritah!", a phrase he said often during his time as a police deputy in "Chickenlover". Craig later repeats this line before his battle with Tweek.
- Despair Event Horizon: Mr. Adler struggles with the death of his fiancee and only his nicotine gum can keep him calm. Once it runs out, his grief overwhelms him.
- Driven to Suicide: Once Mr. Adler runs out of nicotine gum, he decides to end his life via table saw. He very nearly goes in feet-first too before (partially) coming to his senses and turning around so he goes in head-first, as the other way would have "hurt like hell."
- Here We Go Again!: During the ending, when Tweek and Craig are recovering from their fight in the hospital, the kids apologize for tricking them and proceed to leave... with the fact that they're both sissies.Tweek & Craig: What?!
Stan: Well, I mean, that's what was on the news.
Craig: WHAT was on the news?
Cartman: Oh, you didn't see it? Oh, Tweek's family was on the news saying what a wuss you are, Craig.
Kyle: Yeah. And then Craig's family came on and said Tweek was the wuss, and then punched Tweek's mom in the hooters.
Tweek: Ah! You son of a bitch! (pounces on Craig, and the fighting starts again, which ends up destroying their hospital room.)
Craig: I'm gonna kick your ass!
Stan: Come on, Tweek! You got him!
Cartman: Sumo technique, Craig, Sumo technique! (shouts Japanese-sounding gibberish)note
- Gold Digger: What the Home Ec. Teacher tries to teach the girls to be.
- Groin Attack: Jimbo teaches Tweek how to box. Averted later when Mr. Adler tries to kill himself by lying down on the tablesaw feet first. He quickly repositions himself, noting "That would have hurt like hell!"
- In Touch with His Feminine Side: Subverted with Kenny, who is the only boy who take Home Economics. When he is latter transferred to the wood shop, his horrid imagery of dangerous tools shows that he in more of in touch of his sense of survival... for all the good it does him.
- Interrupted Suicide: Mr. Adler is unable to get over the death of his fiancee. He decides to kill himself by laying on a saw belt. Just inches away from the saw, he gets interrupted when Tweek and Craig are fighting and tells them to quit screwing around, resulting in Kenny getting thrown into a box of rusty nails. Adler picks up Kenny and sees his fiancee through Kenny's face. She tells him to move on and be happy with his life.
- Jerkass Ball: Stan, Kyle and Cartman trick Tweek and Craig into fighting just to see who's the toughest kid in school.
- Medium Blending: Mr. Adler's girlfriend flashbacks are live action, which somehow manages to look worse than the animation.
- Never Got to Say Goodbye: Much of Mr. Adler's grief is that he never got to say goodbye to his fiancée before she died. When he finally gets to, it doesn't make him feel better. It's her final message to him that does."Saying good-bye doesn't mean anything. It's the time that we spent together that really matters, not how we left it."
- Only Sane Man: Mr. Adler gets some points for this, as when Kenny falls into a box of nails, he immediately pulls him out of it and demands that the others get him some help. The fact that Kenny managed to survive just long enough to relay a message from his dead wife implies that this action could indeed have saved the poor kid.
- Properly Paranoid: Kenny knew exactly what kind of danger wood shop could pose to him.
- Shout-Out: Mr. Adler's fiance yelling, "It's all for you!" is an allusion to The Omen (1976); at Damien's birthday party, these are the famous last words the nanny cries right before she jumps off the roof to hang herself.
- Stylistic Suck: Mr. Adler's flashbacks are hard to find particularly moving when they're set up and filmed so poorly. Given the nature of the show, this was almost certainly intentional.
- Took a Level in Badass: Tweek and Craig thanks to learning boxing and martial arts. They end up causing massive damage to the playground.
- They Killed Kenny Again: Kenny is a casualty of the fight between Tweek and Craig and Mr. Adler's fiancee and other family speak through Kenny's body to help him move on.
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: While holding the Weigh-In for the upcoming fight between Tweek and Craig, an argument breaks out that results in Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman all getting into a four-way brawl against each other. The only thing the attending students get out of this is that "Tweek and Craig really hate each other" and that it'll be a really good fight, completely unconcerned about the already intense one unfolding right in front of them.
- Unwitting Pawn: Tweek and Craig are conned into fighting just to satisfy the boys' bet.