Airdate: June 23, 1999
The boys (save Kenny) take wood shop and, upon being asked who the biggest troublemaker in their class is, decide to pit Craig against Tweek (even though both boys hardly know each other and have nothing against each other). Meanwhile, Kenny takes Home Ec to escape being killed by the machinery and the shop teacher, Mr. Adler, tries to deal with memories of his dead fiancee.
"Tweek vs. Craig" contains the following:
- Ass Kicks You: Cartman's surprisingly effective method of Sumo wrestling, which provides the page quote.
- Call-Back: While Cartman is training Craig, he exclaims, "Respect my authoritah!", a phrase he said often during his time as a police deputy in "Chickenlover". Craig later repeated this line before his battle with Tweek.
- Driven to Suicide: Once Mr. Adler runs out of nicotine gum, he decides to end his life via table saw. He very nearly goes in feet-first too before (partially) coming to his senses and turning around so he goes in head-first, as the other way would have "hurt like hell."
- Here We Go Again!: During the ending, when Tweek and Craig are recovering from their fight in the hospital, the kids apologize for tricking them and proceed to leave... with the fact that they're both sissies.Tweek & Craig: What?!
Stan: Well, I mean, that's what was on the news.
Craig: WHAT was on the news?
Cartman: Oh, you didn't see it? Oh, Tweek's family was on the news saying what a wuss you are, Craig.
Kyle: Yeah. And then Craig's family came on and said Tweek was the wuss, and then punched Tweek's mom in the hooters.
Tweek: Ah! You son of a bitch! (pounces on Craig, and the fighting starts again, which ends up destroying their hospital room.)
Craig: I'm gonna kick your ass!
Stan: Come on, Tweek! You got him!
Cartman: Sumo technique, Craig, Sumo technique! (Shouts Japanese-sounding gibberish)
- Gold Digger: What the Home Ec. Teacher tries to teach the girls.
- In Touch with His Feminine Side: Subverted with Kenny, who is the only boy who take Home Economics. When he is latter transferred to the wood shop, his horrid imagery of dangerous tools shows that he in more of in touch of his sense of survival... for all the good it does him.
- Jerkass Ball: Stan, Kyle and Cartman trick Tweek and Craig into fighting just to see who's the toughest kid in school.
- Medium Blending: Mr. Adler's girlfriend flashbacks are live action. Which somehow manages to look worse than the animation.
- Never Got to Say Goodbye: Much of Mr. Adler's grief is that he never got to say goodbye to his fiancée before she died. When he finally gets to, it doesn't make him feel better. It's her final message to him that does."Saying good-bye doesn't mean anything. It's the time that we spent together that really matters, not how we left it."
- Only Sane Man: Mr. Adler gets some points for this, as when Kenny falls into a box of nails, he immediately pulls him out of it and demands that the others get him some help. The fact that Kenny managed to survive just long enough to relay a message from his dead wife implies that this action could indeed have saved the poor kid.
- Stylistic Suck: Mr. Adler's flashbacks are hard to find particularly moving when they're set up and filmed so poorly. Given the nature of the show, this was almost certainly intentional.
- Took a Level in Badass: Tweek and Craig thanks to learning boxing and martial arts. They end up causing massive damage to the playground.
- They Killed Kenny Again: Kenny is a casualty of the fight between Tweek and Craig and Mr. Adler's fiancee and other family speak through Kenny's body to help him move on.