Ms. Grotke asks the class to write about their best friends. This causes problems for TJ, however: he can't choose a best friend. The gang breaks up due to this fight, and TJ has to figure out how to help everyone.
Tropes for this episode include:
- Accidental Misnaming: The kindergartners call Spinelli "Spinudi" because they're too young to say it correctly. She doesn't mind.
- Apple of Discord: The gang breaks up because TJ doesn't choose any of them to be their best friend. They all choose him. Eventually, when he writes his essay, he says that he's the luckiest kid because he has five best friends: them.
- Butt-Monkey: Randall through this episode. He fails to get a friend for his essay, and ends the episode trying to play tetherball alone.
- Chekhov's Gun: The essay that caused the breakup in the first place. TJ decides to write it, not hand it in, and then read it aloud. This ends up bringing the gang back together.
- Disproportionate Retribution: The whole gang turns against TJ and become scornful towards him just because TJ couldn't choose between them. After TJ's speech, they realise how selfish and arrogant they were and make it up to him.
- Feud Episode: None of the five kids he hangs out with likes TJ anymore because he won't pick just one person to write his essay on his best friend about, wishing to just write about all of them. Unlike most examples which has all sides mad at each other, TJ's not mad, he's just confused ("I have several friends, and I lose them all because I have several friends?").
- Freudian Excuse: Randall is a jerkass who chooses to be The Stool Pigeon and hates friendships because all of his previous "friends" were assholes to him.Randall: Friends? Let me tell you something about friends, pally. Friends are people who say they're going to meet you at the movies and never show up. Friends are people who tell you the puddle is only an inch deep and then you step in it and you're up to your knees in mud. Friends are people who run your underwear up the flagpole ...with you in it! Friends are ...friends are jerks!
- Hypocrite: The gang was upset when TJ would not choose a singular best friend. However...
- Vince doesn't exactly make it clear if King Bob or a fellow guard is his best friend.
- Gus is seen with both Digger Boys—he never explicitly says which one is his best friend.
- Spinelli is seen with a hoard of Kindergartners, never making it clear if just one is her best friend.
- Jerkass Ball: The entire gang towards TJ.
- Jerkass Has a Point: Randall points out that TJ doesn't have any friends, by the end of the episode. TJ acknowledges that he's right, and goes about to fix it.
- Not So Above It All: Even Gretchen and Mikey are upset with TJ for not choosing them in his essay. Gretchen is normally the logical one in the group, and Mikey is a Gentle Giant and a peacemaker.
- Only Sane Man: TJ, while the rest of the gang has gone crazy and psychotic because he couldn't decide between them.
- Pet the Dog: Played With. Randall is only nice to TJ in this episode because he wants to write about him for the essay, since TJ is the most likable person in the school. He does show where the gang is, however, and does make a point by telling TJ that he has to do something, to which TJ acknowledges on.
- Take a Third Option: When TJ writes his essay, he decides to write about all of them, and how special they all are. They are all his "five best friends". This ends up reconciling the group.
- Tyrant Takes the Helm: Spinelli becomes a tyrant with the kindergarteners' help.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Ms. Grotke had no idea how much turmoil her assignment would cause.
- Vocal Evolution: TJ's voice is a little lower from this episode until "Outcast Ashley" due to Ross Malinger going through puberty.
- Woman Scorned: In this case, friends scorned just because TJ couldn't decide.
- You, Get Me Coffee:
- Vince becomes one of King Bob's bodyguards, and delivers foot massages.
- Gus befriends the Diggers and becomes their intern of sorts.
