We open on the couch, where the four eldest sisters are joined by Benny. They will be reading Diary of Luan Loud. No, not the one from the main series, that's Diary of *a* Loud, and not the one from two episodes ago, that's *Property* of Luan Loud.
We open on a narrator who likes puns, so it's probably Luan. She calls Luna's music stupid, prompting an argument between the real Luna and Luan. Fanfic Luan apparently told a joke when Luna broke her guitar, and it's revealed that unlike the real Luan, fanfic Luan usually fakes her laughter.
She goes on to look for joke material, and it's revealed that she doesn't even like the jokes she tells in canon and thinks they're too kid-friendly. Benny points out that not everything kid-friendly is lame, and we get a bit of confusion from Leni. Fanfic Luan reveals that the jokes she prefers are antisemitic and it's revealed that Benny is Jewish.
Fanfic Luan then gets even nastier, saying that she only pretends to love her family and be positive and assumes they're all faking it too. Later, it rains and fanfic Luan complains about congregating in the living room with her siblings and about being bored. She decides to entertain herself... by sneaking into the twins' room, breaking Lola's toy wand, and hiding it under Lana's bed.
Lola finds it, blames Lana, and the rest of the siblings try to get the twins to stop fighting, but Luan breaks Lana's lucky plunger and puts it next to Lola's bed. The twins start fist-fighting and it's revealed that fanfic Luan is a pedophile too, because she gets turned on by their fight. Not only that, but she's considering incest with Lincoln and apparently molested Luna when they were kids!
Afterwards, the fanfic version of the Loud family goes to church and out for breakfast. Lynn brings a basketball and it lands on the breakfast table, spraying Luan with orange juice and making a pancake land on Lucy's face. Fanfic Luan goes home and breaks Lynn's basketball, then starts to complain about her siblings.
It's revealed that she thinks most of their behaviour is a lie and finds Leni's dumbness annoying, wants Lisa dead, and hates Lucy's goth behaviour. Then, that night, fanfic Luan goes into Lincoln's room and rapes him. The real Luan is, understandably, on the verge of tears at this point.
Fanfic Lincoln is shook up from being raped but all Luan needs to do to get his trust back, apparently, is apologise. Then, fanfic Luan wonders if Luna and Chunk are a couple, grossing out both her and the real Luna. Fanfic Luan then explains that she tore up Lucy's notebook and adopted a kitten who she calls "Chaplin" in front of other people but "Hitler" in private... who she wants to kill.
Fanfic Lori figures out that Luan stole and destroyed her siblings' things, so Luan threatens to push her down the stairs. To be continued.
Fanfic Luna finds out that Luan has beef with Lori and Luan is in a grumpy mood. That night, she smears her own vaginal discharge on Luna's pillow, then masturbates. The next morning, fanfic Luan's family are starting to catch on that she's evil and she's getting mad, then that night she masturbates again, with Leni's hairbrush.
The next morning, fanfic Luan's family tries to help her, but she yells at them, then Lori reads Luan's diary, so when Lori's at the mall, Luan has sex with Bobby and films it. When fanfic Lori finds out, a fight breaks out and Luan is sent to an institute.
With the fanfic over, Benny kisses Luan on the cheek and everyone hugs.
This episode provides examples of
- Accidentally-Correct Writing: In-Universe, fanfic Luan mentions banging a boy named Jimmy in fifth grade. As it turns out, Luan did have a crush on a boy named Jimmy in fifth grade, but of course, she didn't bang him.
- Adaptational Explanation: Fanfic Leni's dumbness comes from a fever she had as a kid damaging her brain.
- Adaptational Jerkass:
- Fanfic Luan is not just a jerk, she's a straight-up villain. Her evil acts include molesting her siblings, wanting them dead, being antisemitic, biphobic, and ableist, being a pedophile, setting people against each other, and wanting to kill a cat.
- Fanfic Bobby likes cheating on Lori with Luan.
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul:
- Fanfic Luan hates her siblings and gets off on them. The real Luan is a loving sister.
- Fanfic Bobby is attracted to Luan. The real Bobby doesn't know Luan very well.
- Adolf Hitlarious: She names the cat she wants to kill after Adolf Hitler because the cat's face looks like Hitler's.
- Ass Shove:
- Discussed when Luna jokingly suggests that fanfic Lynn kept the basketball she took to church up her rectum.
- Discussed again by Luna when she tells fanfic Luan that Lucy will shove her notebook up her (Luan's) butt for being so awful.
- Bad People Abuse Animals: Fanfic Luan wants to kill her kitten.
- Bigger Is Better in Bed: Defied by Lori, who says that size doesn't matter down there.
- Bittersweet Ending: The fanfic ends on Luan out of the way, but considering coming back, Lori and Bobby broken up, and Lincoln in therapy.
- Boomerang Bigot: Fanfic Luan berates Luna for being bi, yet she appears to be bi herself judging by the fact that she's molested both boys and girls.
- Character Exaggeration: Lincoln is forgiving. Fanfic Lincoln forgives Luan for raping him.
- Chicken Joke: Fanfic Luan gives the "get to the other side" joke as an example of a childish joke.
- Childhood Brain Damage: Fanfic Leni's dumbness apparently came from a fever which interfered with her brain as a kid.
- Continuity Nod: Luan remembers reading Diary of a Loud in Episode 7 of the main series, and Leni remembers reading Property of Luan Loud two episodes ago.
- Country Matters: Fanfic Luan is described with the C-word several times.
- Creepy Child: Fanfic Luan apparently molested Luna when they were kids.
- Death Glare: Apparently, the fanfic versions of Luan and Lori give each other dirty looks all the time.
- Depraved Bisexual: Fanfic Luan has molested Lincoln and Jimmy, and also Luna and gotten off on the twins fighting. However, she berates Luna, a normal bisexual person, for being bi!
- Dirty Kid:
- Discussed when fanfic Luan claims Lincoln gets off on reading in his undies.
- Exaggerated for fanfic Luan who apparently molested Luna when they were kids. She also had sex with a boy named Jimmy in fifth grade.
- Disabled in the Adaptation: Fanfic Leni's dumbness comes from brain damage due to a fever she had as a kid.
- Hollywood Atheist: Fanfic Luan is an atheist and chastises Christians for believing in Jesus. Averted for Leni (the real one) who doesn't believe in Jesus (or "Jebus" as she calls Him) but is tolerant of religion.
- Hypocrite:
- Fanfic Luan calls Lincoln a pervert and insults Luna for being bi, but she herself is a pedophile who's attracted to her own siblings.
- Fanfic Luan fakes all her positive emotions, but insults her family for being "fake".
- Innocent Bigot: Lori tells Benny he "looks Jewish".
- Laxative Prank: Fanfic Luan thinks of giving laxatives to Lincoln, or her whole family and herself.
- Lost Toy Grievance: When fanfic Lola can't find her toy wand, she screams and kicks.
- Out of Character: And how.
- Luan is a cheerful, amiable, goofy character. Fanfic Luan on the other hand is a sociopathic, bigoted pedophile who wants to kill her siblings and cat.
- Fanfic Luna makes a bigger deal out of breaking her guitar than the real Luna would.
- A minor one, but the Loud family doesn't go to church, while they do in the fanfic.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Fanfic Luan tells racist/antisemitic jokes, uses the R-word, insults Luna for being bi, and is anti-Christian.
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: When Fanfic Luan makes a Kojak reference, the Louds and Benny respond with blank confusion.
- Pun:
- Fanfic Luan says, "Tough break!" when Luna breaks her guitar, then later describes her as having "shredded" it.
- Fanfic Luan describes Lola as having "snapped" about her broken toy wand.
- The real Luan says that every time her fanfic counterpart seems like she can't get any lower, someone passes her a shovel.
- Luan says that a basketball up someone's butt is a "buttsketball".
- Luan calls fanfic Luan "shitty" for wanting to prank her family with laxatives.
- Benny calls Lori a pussy for cringing at vagina jokes.
- Luan makes a cock joke at the possibility of Leni masturbating with her rubber chicken.
- Fanfic Luan makes "cum" puns while screwing Bobby.
- Rain, Rain, Go Away: Played for drama. At one point, it rains and fanfic Luan is bored, so she sows discord between the twins.
- Right for the Wrong Reasons: Lori correctly guesses that Benny is Jewish, but believes it's because he "looks Jewish".
- Self-Made Orphan: Fanfic Luan wants to kill her parents, plus her siblings.
- Shout-Out: Fanfic Luan wonders if Lucy turned goth because of the Count from Sesame Street.
- Sibling Murder: Discussed when fanfic Luan wants to kill all her siblings.
- Silent Treatment:
- Fanfic Luna stops talking to Luan after the latter makes a joke about the former breaking her guitar.
- When fanfic Luan puts the twins against each other, they stop talking to each other.
- Staircase Tumble: Fanfic Luan threatens to push Lori down the stairs, then the real Lori says that if Luan did that, she'd push her down the stairs.
- Stepford Smiler: Usually, fanfic Luan only fakes her laughter and smiles.
- Teen Pregnancy: Subverted. Fanfic Luan thinks Bobby got her pregnant, but he didn't.
- Villainous Incest: Fanfic Luan gets turned on by her six-year-old twins' fight, molested Luna when they were kids, and rapes Lincoln.
- Would Hurt a Child: Fanfic Luan rapes Lincoln and wants to kill all her siblings, including the kids.
- You Are Fat: Fanfic Luan calls Chunk a fat bastard.
