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Recap / Mystery Science Theater 3000 S11 E11: Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2

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"The sophomore year! Yeehaw!"

Kinga Forrester: Now, we know Wizards of the Lost Kingdom was a hard experience for you. Good news! Today, you're watching the sequel.
Jonah Heston: That's not good news!
Kinga Forrester: Yeah, I didn't say it was good news for you.

Film watched: Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2.

The Segments:

  • Jonah and the bots are feeling down because it's raining. In space.

Segment 1

  • Kinga and Max are feeling down as well. Turns out it's raining on the moon too, so invention exchange time. Jonah and the bots invent GIF Notes: classic literary works, summarized in emojis. Kinga invents Punt Bunnies: adorable bunny rabbits, genetically engineered to want you to kick them across the room.

Segment 2

  • Jonah and the bots present a franchisee orientation video for Dark One's Renaissance Inn & Grille. "If your customers survive, you're doing it wrong!"

Segment 3

  • Jonah explains the context behind this movie's comedy: the "wizard humor" craze of the 80s. He even reads a few selections from a You Might Be a Crummy Wizard... book.

Segment 4

  • Moon 13 gets another surprise visit from Pearl Forrester, Observer, and Bobo. Against Pearl's advice, Kinga decides she will have it all: a billion dollar media empire and a family. Which means Kinga is going to get married. After some thought, Kinga realizes the perfect sucker to marry... is Jonah Heston.

Segment 5

  • "Doctor Jonah" suggests good movies to wash away the lingering pain of specific scenes from today's bad movie.

Tropes used in this episode:

  • Adaptation-Induced Plot Hole: Moon 14 had another movie leak, so the scene of The Dark One fighting a tentacle monster ("the Protector") is missing from this presentation. The lead-up to the fight is still there, and becomes a minor Aborted Arc.
  • Air-Vent Passageway: Crow adds this upon seeing Caedmon enter a castle this way:
    Crow: If I owned a castle, first thing I'd do: put padlocks on the human sized grates that clearly lead somewhere else!
  • Artistic License – Music:
    Jonah: That fiddle player in the back is the real talent. I mean, how's he getting all these sounds from one instrument?
    Crow: And the fiddler's doing all that without even touching the strings! Bravo!
  • Advertisement:
  • Artistic License – Space: In the opening segments, it's raining in space. And on the Moon. Played for Laughs, of course.
  • Bad-Guy Bar: Combined with You All Meet in an Inn in the movie itself, and parodied with Tom and Crow's orientation video; apparently, it's company policy at Dark One's Renaissance Inn & Grille to threaten to stab your customers to get a good tip, and then stab them anyway (but only after they've paid).
  • Buffy Speak: When noting that the two arm-wrestling guys in the bar look an awful lot like the Mael brothers from Sparks, Jonah just calls them "guy from Sparks" and "other guy from Sparks".
  • Call-Back:
  • Captain Morgan Pose: One of the bandits is introduced making this pose. "Now that's what I call a power posture."
  • Captain Obvious: "If everyone says, 'Man, that's a crummy wizard,' when they see you... You might be a crummy wizard!"
  • "Could Have Avoided This!" Plot:
    Jonah: The foolish thing is, all of Donar's initiatives were on the November ballot, so if they'd just mobilized their voter base, they wouldn't have to have this whole battle.
    Crow: Yeah, but I like the battle.
  • Deadpan Snarker: The bots aren't impressed with The Dark One's sardonic wit:
    Servo: How do you deal with someone that sarcastic? It's like he's afraid to feel anything real.
  • Department of Redundancy Department:
    General: Let me slice him open and gut him, Master.
    Crow: Aren't those kind of the same thing?
  • Designated Hero: invoked As Jonah notes, The Dark One and Idun contribute more to the final fight than the wizard heroes do. "So, wizards—not defending themselves. Dancer—into the fray."
  • Dolled-Up Installment: Jonah accuses the movie of being one, stating with tongue firmly in cheek, "And this is definitely a sequel, not a completely unrelated movie that we slapped the beloved Wizards brand on."
  • Double Standard Rape: Female on Male: Jonah points out this trope during the scene where Freyja is trying to seduce Tyor, on how much creepier it would be if their genders were reversed.
  • Dull Surprise: "Uh, guys, we're still rolling. Everyone needs to keep acting, not just Terrence in the wolf suit there."
  • Dude, Not Funny!: When evil wizard Donar punches Freyja for leading Tyor to the magic sword, Jonah and the bots all boo him.
    Crow: Aw, man, I really wanted to like this villain.
  • '80s Hair: "Her clothes say, 'Medieval peasant,' but her hair says, 'I'm going to a Whitesnake concert!'"
  • Elemental Rock-Paper-Scissors: "So it's basically rock-paper-scissors. Fire destroys amulet. Amulet freezes legs. Legs stomp out fire. Yeah."
  • Elephant in the Living Room: Jonah and the Bots notably avoid making any jokes about (or even alluding to) David Carradine and Lana Clarkson's tragic deaths.
  • Fat Slob: Lots of jokes about Caedmon's health problems from being overweight. "2 p.m., time for my daily heart attack!"
  • Fix It in Post: "You'll speed this up in post so it looks like we're actually fighting, right?"
  • Flynning:
    • When Erman leads a revolt against Loki's forces:
    Servo: They're not so much sword fighting as high-fiving with swords.
    Jonah: Taste the wrath of my gentle nudging!
    • When two thieves fight among themselves, they literally do nothing but overhand sword swings.
    Servo: You defeated my overhand, sir knight, but can you handle— PSYCH! Overhand!
    Jonah: Okay, so it's not the greatest fight scene ever, but you really gotta give them credit. This was made in the days before talent or staging.
  • Follow the Leader: invoked "They're just throwing in moments from Star Wars and hoping it all works out somehow."
  • The Guards Must Be Crazy: The guards in Zarz's throne room don't even move when Tyor waltzes in with a sword. "Hey, guards, this is kind of your moment. You gonna do anything, or just see how this plays out? Guards?"
  • Happy Ending Override:
    Servo: So what [the narrator's] saying is, everything accomplished in the first movie was meaningless.
    Crow: And all the characters, even that white Chewbacca knock-off thing, are dead.
  • Inept Mage: Caedmon's status as this gives rise to the "You Might Be A Crummy Wizard If..." segment.
  • Inferred Holocaust: invoked It's nice that the citizens of Donar's kingdom get their drinking water back, but... "Great. Nobody's following proper water-sanitation procedure, and now the whole village is gonna have cholera."
  • Kick the Dog: The Punt Bunnies are an almost literal example of this. Notably, Kinga lights up with pure, unbridled joy every time she or Max kicks one of them — while Max cringes in horror.
  • Mêlée à Trois: "So it's gladiators versus guards versus wizards versus Maccabees?"
  • Mondegreen Gag: invoked Crow mishears Caedmon of Nogg as "Caveman Eggnog".
  • Money, Dear Boy: invoked The first appearance of David Carradine's character prompts Crow to quip, "Ah, somebody had a house payment."
  • No Budget: invoked The last shot is of four copper coins. Jonah quips, "The film's actual budget."
  • Noodle Incident:
    Max: You'll have to groom me in person someday, Professor Bobo, as long as you don't bite off my face.
    Bobo: Ahh... I've learned not to promise that. [chuckles]
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: The fight between the Dark One and the Protector, which was cut from this version of the movie.
    Ardy: Actually pretty cool. Maybe could have saved the whole movie. Sorry about that.
  • Recycled Set: invoked Tom Servo notes that the interior of Zarz's castle looks remarkably like the interior of Donar's castle. "Now this is a castle hallway we definitely haven't seen before."
  • Robosexual: Kinga considers marrying one of the robots before she considers marrying Jonah. Bobo has to remind her that it's still not legal.
  • Running Gag: Literally running, too: Jonah and the bots point out the numerous times that Tyor runs or walks weird.
    Crow: Could you move like a human, kid! Just once!
  • Russian Reversal: As a pig-demon attacks: "In Lost Kingdom, ham spiral-cuts you!"
  • Scooby-Dooby Doors: A chase scene features a doorway connecting two parallel hallways, with mooks running back and forth in each. "Oh, we've wandered into a Scooby-Doo chase scene."
  • The Scrappy: In-Universe, Jonah's reaction to Tyor and Caedmon: "Guys, I never thought I'd miss Simon and Kor so badly."
    Crow: Can somebody magically transform their hand into a fist and just punch [Tyor] already?
  • Shout-Out:

  • Stock Footage: The SOL crew pick up on the fact that all the large-scale battles are footage from other Roger Corman films.
    Jonah: I'm starting to think this might be footage from another movie.
    Crow: Why, because our actual protagonists are nowhere to be found, and Amathea's wearing different clothes?
  • Stripperific: Upon seeing that Amathea fights in a leather miniskirt and bikini top: "You know, I question the practicality of her battle wear."
  • Surprisingly Improved Sequel: invoked Tom Servo's reaction to the opening titles is "This movie's already so much more awesomer than the first one!"
  • Talking the Monster to Death:
    Caedmon: Use your powers!
    Jonah: Of persuasion!
  • Tempting Fate: During a host segment:
    Crow: Jonah, do you feel like the Mads have been shortening our segments?
    Jonah: Oh, why would you say that—
    [Cut to Moon 13. The rest of the segment is about Kinga.]
  • Try to Fit That on a Business Card:
    Vanir: You must travel on, Tyor of Eedok.
    Crow: Grower of Turnips, Annoyer of Audiences, Maker of Chickens.
    Servo: Going Through-er of Awkward Stages, Speaker of Gibberish, Looker-At of Bottoms.
    Jonah: Screwup in Extraordinary to their Royal Majesties, Whatever Their Names Were.
  • Uncertain Audience:invoked Lampshadeed, as the bots get confused by the presence of a Family-Friendly Stripper early in the movie.
    Crow: So who exactly was the intended audience for this scene?
    Servo: Oh, you know—shut-ins, dogs in front of the TV that were accidentally left on.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Kinga's logic for marrying Jonah. "But wait, a beautiful, sarcastic woman married to a big oaf. Oh, whoa! That is TV gold!
  • With Catlike Tread: "Clomp! Clomp! I'm stealthy!"