Recap / Mystery Science Theater 3000 S10 E03: Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders

Try the Merlin Chop: A half-pound of Merlin, served with steak fries, vegetable of the day and whipped dessert.

Crow: And so, Billy, the little boy who looks just like you, went through terrible, irredeemable grief!
Crow: Remember that kitten, Billy? That was nothing compared to this! At least the kitten went quick, Billy!
Tom (as sleeping kid): Ooooh Monkey! Oooooh... car coming! Oh, flaming cat. Dog dying, mean psychics! Oh, Grandpa! Help!

Film watched: Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders

This was the last new episode to air on television, airing long after the finale, Diabolik, had aired.

The episode is available in the Gizmoplex here.

The Segments:

Prologue

• Mike and the Bots are doing 1920s college pranks. Mike swallowed a goldfish, Servo stuffs himself and his clones in a phone booth and Crow is sitting on a flag pole. He soon falls down.

Segment 1

• With orders from the Institute of Mad Science, Pearl conducts an experiment involving granting a single individual, in this case Servo, complete power over everyone else. Servo soon turns into a third world dictator, but the addition of fire ants on underpants lead to Servo leaving office.

Segment 2

• Crow and Servo begin to review each other. At first, the reviews are positive, but soon slips to overly negative.

Segment 3

• Inspired by Merlin, Servo tries his hand in magic. Somehow, he turns Mike into a giant baby and screams in horror when told that it's time for a diaper change.

Segment 4

• Mike tries to read the Ernest Borgnine line of children's books to Crow and Servo. The books with innocent names have graphic blood and guts, but Dr. Blood's Orgy of Gore is surprisingly pleasant.

Segment 5

• Mike and the Bots get a cymbal monkey from Pearl, but it's actually Bobo in disguise. Disappointed with the scores, Pearl tells them that the movies are going to get worse from here.

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The MST3K presentation of Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders has examples of:

• Actually Pretty Funny: Mike and the bots get a kick out of the scene where David talks to the psychic, given how she very much barely tolerates David's mere existence.
  Psychic: My God, David!
  Mike: (as the psychic) You moron!
• Adaptation-Induced Plot Hole: Some dialogue cut from the MST3K version explains how and why Merlin has the monkey toy, namely that it was "gifted" to him by a rival sorcerer as a joke and he hadn't had a chance to destroy it yet.
  • The psychic's inexplicable rage at David is much more explicable in the full movie, where it is more clearly shown as desperation.
• Chekhov's Gun: Subverted, seemingly by accident. The psychic gives David a bethagram (Servo: "I sense the demon's name is Beth."), some kind of magic charm which looks like a sheriff's badge on a string, to protect himself and his family from the evil toy monkey, but (at least in this cut of the film) he's never shown using/wearing it.
  Mike: [as David, picking up the "bethagram"] Huh, Borgnine forgot to write this in.
• Cool and Unusual Punishment: “Did she just threaten him with SEX?”
• Covers Always Lie: In one host segment, Mike looks through four children's books by Ernest Borgnine. In keeping with the nature of the movie, three of the books have innocuous titles like "Slow Bear's Woodland Picnic" that mask their dark and gory imagery. "Dr. Blood's Orgy of Gore," on the other hand, is about eight plump mice who get little sweaters and live happily.
• Celebrity Resemblance: “It’s Alastair Sim.”
• Cymbal-Banging Monkey: The one in the movie inspired Pearl to make Professor Bobo dress up as one of these to scare Mike and the 'bots. Bobo screws up, Mike and company aren't impressed, Bobo apologizes profusely and begs them not to tell Pearl.
• Darker and Edgier: During the scene where the kid is watching an anime fight scene:
  Servo: This is the anime version of The Tale of Peter Rabbit.
• Designated Hero: Discussed In-Universe, as Mike and the Bots point out how Merlin's actions have caused more harm than good.
  Servo: [as Merlin] It's my mission to release evil into the world and gradually recover it, following the deaths of many innocent people.
• Dirty Old Man: How Merlin comes off during his search for the toy monkey.
  Crow: See, here's his problem: he's goin' around dressed like that, asking women, "Have you seen my little monkey?"
• Dissonant Serenity: Merlin. In the movie, too, but even more so in the riffing.
  Crow: [pleasantly, as Merlin nods to himself as if he did a good job] Remember to believe in magic... or I'll Kill You!
• Disproportionate Retribution: Repeatedly pointed out and mocked.
  • Critic Jonathan was being a jerk for no real reason, but as Borgnine's grandson points out, Merlin and Zurella obviously knew exactly what kind of horrorshow they were unleashing on him, and Madeline, and their poor cat, when they gave him the book.
  • After the pawn shop owner informs Merlin that she already sold the toy monkey:
    Merlin: Blast it!
    Crow: [as Merlin] Now I gotta send you to Hell!
• Dog Got Sent to a Farm: After the father in the second half finds the body of Sparkle the dog, and his son asks what happened, Mike quips "I very quickly sold him to a farm where he'll be happier."
• Downer Ending:
  Crow: (as grandson) So evil always wins, Grandpa Borgnine?
  Mike: (as Borgnine) That’s right, Billy. Even your tiny soul is doomed.
• Enraged by Idiocy: The mean psychic lady the dad seeks out in the second story snaps at him for every snarky, skeptical thing he says, while talking about demons and magic rituals as if they're obvious, everyday things everyone already knows. Mike and the bots go to town — they really don't even have to exaggerate that much (at least when it comes to her tone).
  David: Great, should I wear garlic around my neck, too?
  Psychic: My GOD, David!
  Mike: [as the psychic] You MORON!
  Psychic: [later] And remember, David, NEVER let it know!
  Servo: [as the psychic] ...You stupid BASTARD, I could stab you in the eyes right NOW, so help me GOD!
• Food as Bribe: Parodied during Merlin's conversation with the man in the park:
  Man: As it happens, I own a small trinket stand across the way.
  Crow!Merlin: I'll give you a cookie if you shut up.
• Freud Was Right: Invoked by Tom. When the first segment ends with the restaurant critic transformed into a baby, with his wife deciding to raise him as her son, Tom quips that this whole segment was based on a story written by Freud.
• Flagpole Challenge: The 1920's college prank Crow does in the beginning.
• Gorn: Described. Based on the horror content of the innocently-titled Merlin's Shop, in Segment 4, all of the Ernest Borgnine-authored children's books are like this (with the exception of Dr. Blood's Orgy of Gore). In Santa's Workshop of Shimmering Delights, for example:
  Mike: ...Oh, man. Wow, well this is inappropriate. Here Erin the elf's hands get scissored off in the sheet metal crimper.
• Harmful to Minors: A very notable Running Gag throughout the episode is that Grandpa Borgnine really doesn't care that Billy isn't the right age to be hearing his stories:
  Servo: [as the kid] No, Grandpa Borgnine, leave light and hope for me! Please!
  Crow: [as Grandpa Borgnine] Get out from behind that cushion, Billy! It gets worse!
  • "So, Billy, the little boy who looks just like you went through terrible, irredeemable grief!"
• I Take Offense to That Last One:
  Crow: The verdict is in, and the world was not awaiting a chubby, pompous eunuch!
  Servo: Chubby?! What do you mean, chubby?!
• Jerkass: The critic from the first story provokes this response within the first minute of his screentime:
  Jonathan Nice trick. Tell me, is that really the limit of your power, "sorcerer"? Oh, I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself...
  Servo: [as Jonathan] I'm Bob Jackass!
• Kick the Dog: Both pets meet a bad end in each segment. Lampshaded by Crow, as the dog is about to die in a fire.
  Crow!Borgnine: (cheerfully) Remember that kitten, Billy? That was nothing compared to this! At least the kitten went quick, Billy!
• Large Ham: Jonathan in the first story, In-Universe. He gets increasingly over the top as he's both tempted and prematurely aged by the book of magic spells Merlin gave him.
• Mondegreen Gag: According to the episode guide, the writers thought the kid was singing "F***ing old Martian" instead of "Rock'n'roll Martian" the first time they heard it.
• Mythology Gag: A literal one to Arthurian Mythology.
  Mike: (as Merlin) Should probably break things off with Nimue. It’s not fair to Zurella.
• Narm Charm: Invoked, in-universe and out: Best Brains love the kid playing with the monkey while wearing goofy glasses singing, "Rock 'n' roll Martian!", saying it was a perfect example of one of those self-invented games kids always do. They were also greatly amused by Jonathan's snarky Thinking Out Loud comments in the first story.
  Crow: [chuckling] What's his deal?!
• Never Trust a Title: In-universe; "Dr. Blood's Orgy of Gore" is nowhere near as gruesome or horrific as its title suggests.
• Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: Many riffs and a host segment directed at Grandpa Borgnine say this. Mike and the Bots are certain that kid will be having nightmares for a very long time.
• No Control Group: Played with during Pearl's experiment. She did attempt a control group using Bobo being given power without the addition of fire ants, but Bobo included fire ants by accident.
• Padding: In-Universe. Mike and the Bots notice that Grandpa Borgnine's "story" seems to contain an awful lot of idle moments where not much is happening.
  Servo: Man, Borgnine's grandson must really bored by now.
  Mike: [as Grandpa Borgnine] ...Then he puttered around the kitchen for awhile, and got himself a cold drink!
• Plot Hole: After the kid explains how Merlin really was responsible for the first segment's twist ending, Mike comments "The kid's figuring out all the plot holes."
  • After burying the toy monkey outside of the town, David is shown about to be crushed by a tree and presumably killed. The next scene shows him with his arm in a cast and a few bruises.
    Crow: [as the kid] But, Grandpa Borgnine, the tree fell right on him!
    Mike: [as Grandpa Borgnine] I know, but I wrote myself into a corner.
• Running Gag:
  • The graphic events on-screen being casually described by Ernest Borgnine to his grandson.
    Mike: [as Grandpa Borgnine] And the devil cat grabbed his throat and pulled out bloody strips of sinew and flesh!
  • Madeline in the first story randomly bringing up the fact that she's unable to conceive.
  • Jonathan's derision of the Latin language.
• Shout-Out:
  • Pearl's certification tests are the "Schumacher-Eszterhas Cinematic Pain Differential" and the "Wood-Gordon Tedium Inventory".
  • In one scene, Madeline's bed falls through the floor.
    Mike: Ahh, it's the Wallace method for going down to breakfast.
  • When the boy finds his toy in the garbage...
    Mike: [as the boy] Dad is so going into the cornfield.
  • "What are you doing, Dave?"
  • "Merlin, you bastard!" "You blew it up!!"
  • "Riff Raff at home."
  • The "totally not pieced together Ernest Borgnine movie" that Servo talks about during the end credits is made up of several Borgnine projects, including Marty, McHale's Navy, and From Here to Eternity.
    Servo: I think it's called Airwolf.
• Slasher Smile: A particularly hideous example from the Asshole Victim / Villain Protagonist of the first story as his reckless spellcasting rapidly ages him into a stock Evil Sorcerer.
  Mike: It's Possessy the Clown!
• Small Name, Big Ego: Jonathan seems incredibly full of himself for a small-town newspaper critic who reviews stores at the mall. Mike and the Bots run with it.
  Servo: Look, my reviews have destroyed whole cities!
• Space Whale Aesop: After Pearl does an experiment involving Mike and the bots, she concludes that "fire ants in the underwear can change the course of whole governments."
• Straw Critic: Servo and Crow become niche reviewers and review each other in one of the segments. It starts out civilly and mostly positive, but then, following a few minor criticisms, escalates into giving each other virulent and vehement thumbs-down.
• Take That!: "Oh look, it's something else Satan created: Japanimation."
• This Is Going to Be Huge: Apparently, Grandpa Borgnine is very confident that his script will be a smash:
  Crow: [as Grandpa] I also have a script called Chinatown, but I don't like it as much.
• Too Much Information: Crow's reaction, word for word, when Madeline casually brings up her infertility in casual conversation, explains that they can't adopt because Jonathan would never raise someone else's child, that she hasn't told him yet and it's affecting their marriage and there's "no hope at all" medically speaking... You know, light, parking-lot conversation.
  Mike: [as Madeline] ...plus the polyps in my colon...
  Servo: [as her friend] Look, I gotta go.
  Crow: [skeeved-out stammering]
• The Unintelligible: Merlin's oddly muffled "You're welcome!" becomes this. "Yo'w wuhcuh!" Crow can't get enough.
• Vertigo Effect: Used as a Reaction Shot when David's mother brings the evil monkey back to the house: "My cabinets are flying away!"
• What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: invoked Grandpa Borgnine wrote a bunch of children's books that are all incredibly dark, violent and gruesome... except for "Dr. Blood's Orgy of Gore", which is about eight plump mice who get little sweaters.

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"Rock 'n' roll Martian...! Rock 'n' roll Martian!"

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