Film watched: Racket Girls with the educational short film Are You Ready For Marriage
- Mike and the Bots enjoy a performance by special musical guest Lisa Loeb, thought Crow seems to have her confused with someone else.
- Mike tires of Lisa Loeb's musical stylings and turns his attention to the Mads, who are having their own issues with security in the form of some rubber-necking tourists. Frank can't resist the urge to troll Dr. Forrester, nor can Mike and the Bots when Clayton tries to contact them via intercom.
- Crow is inspired by the short to ask for Servo's hand in marriage. Mike tries to see if they're compatible with the help of a quiz in this month's issue of Cosmo. As Dr. Forrester prepares the feature presentation, Mike uses Dr. Hall's "rubber band" trick to mess with the Mads.
- Mike throws Crow a bachelor party, and Crow breaks out the "entertainment"... Jan in the Pan doing a "striptease". Mike is suitably disgusted.
- It's time for Crow and Servo's wedding, and Dr. Forrester is wrangled into officiating the ceremony. Chaos breaks out when Forrester picks a fight with the nosey tourists who have been hanging around Deep 13 all day.
- Mike and the Bots create their own wrestling alter egos (Crow as "Professor Hertz", Servo as "Sir Slams-a-lot", and Mike as "Count Deal-a-pain"), and read some fan mail, including fan art from David Scherer, age 5. Dr. Forrester finally gets rid of the tourists, only to be stuck with Lisa Loeb.
The MST3K presentation contains the following tropes:
- Berserk Board Barricade: When we get back from the first commercial, Mike is nailing up boards over the Hexfield because Lisa Loeb won't go away.
- Buxom Is Better: As Peaches does jumping jacks — without a bra — Crow marvels at her.Crow: (as Bob Hope) I hope she's not on a fault line! Yow!
- Continuity Nod: Jan in the Pan appears as a stripper at Crow's bachelor party. Mike calls it Sick and Wrong.Crow: Woo hoo! Show that neck! Hotsy! Hotsy!
- Cowboy BeBop at His Computer: Crow thinks Lisa Loeb is "Courtney Hole". Mike corrects him, saying she sings for "Pearl Hole."
- Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: The host segment following "Are You Ready For Marriage?" ends by Mike freaking out the Mads by stealing a move from it: snapping a rubber band.
- Don't Explain the Joke: Mike sings, "Lady wrestler, my love for you..." then under his breath explains it's a reference to Lou Rawls' "Lady Love" — one of the few times a riff has ever been explained.
- Fairytale Wedding Dress: Tom puts on a fancy, frilly dress for the wedding.
- Father, I Want to Marry My Brother: The short prompts Crow to ask Mike for Servo's hand in marriage. Subverted in that they both admit they don't want to marry each other, but dammit, they're not getting any younger!
- Faux Horrific: The snapping of a rubber band. It even manages to freak out the Mads.Larry: It's gone!
Sue: Where'd it go?!
Crow: We're gonna DIE!
- Fetish: Mike and the 'Bots veer wildly between this and Fetish Retardant, simultaneously being turned on and turned off at the same time, even in consecutive riffs.Crow: I'm being turned on by a woman long dead. [audible sigh/shudder]
- Flashback Stares: Spoofed during the short when, during a close-up shot of one of the characters blankly staring at the camera, Mike and the 'Bots make it appear as if she's having a Vietnam War flashback, complete with gunfire noises.Mike: [after a cutaway from close-up] Sorry, back in Da Nang there...
- HA HA HANo: The Running Gag during the "Are You Ready For Marriage" short has the crew making Professor Hill chuckle "Ha ha ha, no you're not" when the young couple insist they're really really in love.
- Irony: Defied and lampshaded by Crow on the Racket Girls climax:Crow: Ironically... well, there is no irony.
- Mundane Made Awesome: Mike uses a cheesy analogy from the short to utterly terrify Forrester and Frank:Dr. F: "Marriage" — hah! What would you know about marriage?
Mike: [yanking on a rubber band] Well, I know that if a marriage is stretched too much... it can snap!
Frank: IT'S GONE! Where did it go?!
Dr. F: Be careful! I've gotta send send you your feature presentation, Racket Girls! It —
Mike: [playing with yet another band] Well, I know that if the movie is stretched too long... it can snap!
Dr. F: WHERE DID IT GO?!
Frank: HE'S A SORCERER!!!
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Dr. Forrester seems to get into this when he starts the marriage ceremony. Retroactive Fridge Brilliance when we learn that he has a daughter and realize he's most likely talking about himself.Dr. F: The coming together of two to make one. Two people — two separate, perfectly happy people who haven't been held down by life until now, but no, some lamebrain gets it in his head that he can't make it alone. [mockingly] I'm too weak, I need a hand to hold... Suddenly, the idiot gets married, then all hell breaks loose. "But we're in love!" Ah!
- Running Gag:
- In the final wrestling match, Rita Martinez suddenly screams. For the next few minutes, Mike and the bots insert random screams in-between their usual riffs. Though another interpretation is that they were imitating the screaming fans. They barely did it in the first two matches, but really got into it during the main event.
- The print of this movie is horrible, with jumps and skips everywhere. This leads to a lot of dialogue being interrupted and sentences not being finished. Mike and the bots don't hesitate to call attention to this whenever it occurs.
- Joe's Italian accent gets several references to Chico Marx.
- Monk the bookkeeper relating a bit of gossip about Jackie's living arrangements to Mr. Big, then repeating it almost word-for-word to Scalli, gets interpreted as him being genuinely jealous and obsessing over her "swank apartment".
- Silver Fox: Mike and the 'bots reaction to Ruby.Mike: I never saw my Grandma naked, but this'll do.
- Soundtrack Dissonance: There is no music for the entire film, until the chase scene climax.Crow: Music?! Why HERE?! Why NOW?! Why us?
- Special Guest: Bridget Jones as Lisa Loeb appears on the Hexfield Viewscreen as a "special treat".
- The Stinger: Another episode where the stinger came from the short rather than the movie.
- Stock Footage: Lampshaded.Servo: "Police cars, not dissimilar to these, were called to the scene. This is a narrative approximation of something that may or may not have happened."
- Take That!: One-Hit Wonder-to-be Lisa Loeb stops by the Satellite to sing her then-ubiquitous hit "Stay". Mike is enthusiastic at first, only to resort to boarding up the viewscreen when they can't get her to stop, and the episode's revised lyrics make her out to be a high school-age Talkative Loon rambling on about Passing Notes in Class. She finds her way down to Deep 13 at the end of the episode.
- The Thing That Would Not Leave: A tour group finds their way into Deep 13 and spends the episode standing around watching the Mads' antics, including Tom and Crow's wedding. Dr. Forrester finally chases them off at the end of the episode only to find Lisa Loeb has snuck in in the meantime.
- This Is Unforgivable!: Frank is tolerant of Lisa Loeb til Forrester informs him that she's dating Ethan Hawke. Frank snaps and tells the "Jezebel" to Get Out!
- Up to Eleven
- Waxing Lyrical: Dr. Forrester in the last host segment, performing the wedding of Servo and Crow:
- Wild Mass Guessing: Mike begins to wonder if the film has some meaning "in some deep, hoary netherworld".
- With Lyrics: The gang supply lyrics for the music they dub the Ukrainian national anthem.Ukrainia, my bitter homeland! \ Your strip mines, your big reactors...!
- Wrestler in All of Us: The wedding of Crow and Tom Servo in the second-to-last sketch is stopped by a sudden wrestling match. Mike and the 'Bots create wrestling personas after the film.