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Recap / Mystery Science Theater 3000 S 03 E 19 War Of The Colossal Beast

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"Knew your father, I did!"note 

Film watched: War of the Colossal Beast with short Mr. B Natural

What makes Mr. B Natural notorious as the Worst MST3K Short Ever is that Mister B Natural, "the spirit of music", is played by a woman. An extremely perky woman. With a voice that could break glass. In a costume that makes absolutely no attempt to obscure her sex. All this makes the short... disturbing. Unless of course you like that sort of thing.

Notably, one of the rewards for backing RiffTrax's Kickstarter for the live riff of Starship Troopers was a new riff of the full 30-minute short, with new jokes and material.


The Segments:

  • Using a chart of typical Mex-American food terms (and some not-so-typical ones), Joel and the 'Bots come up with creative new meals.

Segment 1/Invention Exchange

  • Dr. Forrester knows breakfast is the most important meal, but not everyone wants to come over and eat it, so the Breakfast Bazooka will send it to the stragglers. Less healthfully, Joel's created the Between-Meal Mortar to shoot snack cakes over long distances.

Segment 2

  • Joel moderates a debate between Crow and Tom — Mr. B Natural: male or female?

Segment 3

  • Joel's salute to the big-headed man is interrupted by a return visit by Glen Manning to the SOL.

Segment 4

  • Joel is James Unguentine KTLA and makes several predictions about the future until the 'Bots come to wrangle him.

Segment 5

  • Joel is eating several kinds of bread while the 'Bots stress how bad the film was. A Colorado prisoner has written a fan letter, then Glen reads one. Dr. F gives Frank another, heavily-medicated dose of the Breakfast Bazooka.

The MST3K presentation of Mr. B Natural contains examples of:

  • Callback: It features a few callbacks to Pod People. "It stinks!"
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Used by name, probably in reference to the album that named the trope.
  • Does This Remind You of Anything?:
    Mr. B: "When you reached down to grab that music, to make yourself feel better, you awakened the spirit of music inside you! That's me!"
    Servo (as Buzz): "So I'm attracted to guys now?"
  • Gender Bender: What Joel and the Bots imply Mr. B Natural is.
    • In the official episode guide, Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo) describes this as "Mary Martin syndrome," rants that "a man should not have great legs and boobs," and that this is the kind of thing that "sends well-adjusted young gay men run screaming for the closet."
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar:
    Buzz: I'd better go up to my room and do the reading.
    Mom: All right, son. (pause) Uh, Buzz?
    Crow: Now, this time don't make so much noise when you "read".
    • Done again later on:
    Mr. B Natural: You gotta inspect your horn, boy!
    Crow: And wash it every day!
    Mr. B: Have you ever noticed the excitement in the corridors of a school hallway?
    Joel: Oh, yeah...
    Servo: Joel!
  • Hartman Hips: Mary MartinBetty Luster, who plays Mr. B., unknowingly (or knowingly?) shows off her hips when laying down on her side at one point, provoking Joel's first comment under Ho Yay.
  • Ho... er, Les Yay? No, Ho Yay, technicallyinvoked.
    Joel: Mr. B, you're hot!
    Joel: (dreamily) Oh, Mr. B...
  • Mistaken for Pedophile: While Mr. B and Buzz are in his bedroom:
    Mr. B: I've been visiting with an eight-year-old friend of mine... (Crow gasps in horror)
    Servo: (while shuddering) Oh, God. No. No...
  • Satan: If you go with the Alternate Character Interpretation (see Fridge Horror in the Fridge tag), Mr. B, who wanders around showing off her his magic tricks to impressionable teenagers and tries to get them to embrace "music".
    Mr. B: And don't be too sure I wasn't in the garden with Mr. and Mrs. Adam!
    Tom: Eh-heh, you were the snake...
  • Monochrome Casting: Highlighted during the dance Buzz plays his trumpet at.
    Joel & the 'Bots: [singing] We're white, we're really, really white...
  • Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll: Invoked, though the music involved isn't rock 'n' roll.
    Mr. B Natural: And wait 'til you see the kicks you'll get out of it, Buzz. The glamour of a uniform! The thrill of traveling for a band competition!
    Servo: The all-night coke jags in cheap motels!
  • Shout-Out:
  • The Stinger: One of the few episodes where the stinger is from the short rather than the main movie, naturally.
  • Sweet on Polly Oliver: "Mr. B, you're hot!"
  • Well, Excuse Me, Princess!: As per Servo: "Well, excuse me, sexless man-woman!"
  • With Lyrics
    All: Come on and buy some crap from us!/You know that you want to!/And the white race will salute you/As you prance and gad about!
    • And again, during the dance:
    All: White, we're white/We're really, really white/We're really, really, really, really whiiiiite...
  • You Have Got to Be Kidding Me!:
    Crow: Mr. Servo, you've GOT to be kidding me! Let's assume for the moment that Mr. B Natural IS a man. My heavens! What a confusing message to send to little kids! Already, there's the painful feeling of isolation, the horrible, scarring acne - and Mr. Servo here would have us place a cross-dressing man with a clarinet slap dab in their bedrooms! Why not men in Little Bo Peep costumes with stinky cigars explaining the facts of life to our unsuspecting daughters? I, for one—
    Joel: Mr. Servo, your rebuttal!
    Tom: Yes! Yes! Mr. Crow! I don't think we should stop there! Let's break down ALL the barriers. Hairy men in Spartan costumes holding bake sales on shady boulevards! Naked jock-strap wrestling! Big, wonderful(commercial sign!)

The MST3K presentation of War of the Colossal Beast contains examples of:


Example of: