Film watched: Lost Continent
- Joel gives a pep talk to the Bots in anticipation for this week's experiment.
- Frank shows his invention, a moving treadmill, a stationary stairmaster and floating rowing machine. Dr. Forrester, excited for rock climbing, sends Joel to the theater before he had a chance to present. In the theater, Crow and Servo are waiting for him.
- Hugh Beaumont, in a spacefaring version of the Cleaver household from Leave It To Beaver, tells Joel and the Bots that he's going to bring forth the Apocalypse, and also for them to cut the movie some slack.
- Joel, Crow and Servo present The Explorers, about a white explorer in a strange land. Things go awry as Joel goes out of character to exposit about the message of the sketch.
- Joel and the Bots are amazed by the cool thing. Dr. Forrester is not, but Frank is.
- Joel, Servo and Crow, channeling their inner cinema geeks, give tidbits about the cast and crew of Lost Continent. The Mads are distraught over the failure of rock climbing, especially Dr. Forrester.
The MST3K treatment provides examples of:
- Achievements in Ignorance: In his quest to create self-powered, mobile versions of common step and rowing exercise machines, Frank manages to... reverse-engineer the staircase and the rowboat. He's quite proud of this.
- An Aesop: A lot of people worked quite hard on the movie, and you shouldn't be so quick to judge it.Hugh Beaumont: Well, I'm glad we learned a little lesson, then. Well. It's time to die. [lights pipe, three-foot flames shoot out]
- Aesop Amnesia: Joel and the 'bots manage to get through to Hugh Beaumont by asking him why he wants to destroy the world, making him realize he's forgotten a lesson of his own.Hugh Beaumont: Boys, I — I think I owe you an apology. I guess your mother and I got so wrapped up in this apocalypse thing I didn't have time to think how you felt. [...] Well, I've got to get going. I've got to catch up to Fred MacMurray and the boys, they're about to destroy Earth. Drink your milk.
- Affably Evil: Horseman of the Apocalypse or not, Hugh Beaumont is still America's Dad.
- Boredom Montage: Or rather, EXCRUCIATING PAIN montage.
- Jungle Goddess had a similar "tropical rain forest" setting, and this becomes a running gag.
- There's also a reference to Bela Lugosi in The Phantom Creeps short which aired with Ring of Terror.
- Speaking of Ring of Terror, the opening of the film features a gate, so Joel and the bots complain that they've seen this already.
- Cool Starship: Horseman of the Apocalypse Hugh Beaumont's steed/starship is the house from Leave It to Beaver mounted on thrusters. Everything inside other than Hugh's skin is in black and white.
- Getting Crap Past the Radar: Twice during the scene where the sergeant interrupts Cesar Romero's date, they say to make sure to wear a "Jimmy Hat," a slang term for a condom.
- Horsemen of the Apocalypse: Standard '50s Father Hugh Beaumont is going to usher in the Apocalypse, starting with the Satellite of Love — but first, a stern talking-to.
- Hypocritical Humor: As the bots are freaking out over more rock climbing.Joel: C'mon. Hey you guys, calm down. Hey, it's only a movie, we can handle it, okay?
Servo: Okay, I guess you're right.
Joel: WHO ARE YOU, WHERE ARE WE? CAN WE GET A FRAME OF REFERENCE OR SOMETHING? PLEASE!
- Mighty Whitey: Subverted. Joel tries to do another skit about the "Superior White Man In Africa" (similar to "My White Goddess" from Jungle Goddess), but the bots refuse to cooperate. The sketch degenerates into Joel's character explaining the Unfortunate Implications of You No Take Candle before swerving into the last act of a murder mystery on a flimsy pretext. (Quinn Martin never made a jungle flick.)
- Not So Stoic: 51 minutes in, during one of the rock climbing sequences, the usually-composed Joel starts shouting at the screen right after getting Tom and Crow to stop doing the same thing.
- Padding:Crow: This film makes Shoah look like a two-reeler.note
- Patrick Stewart Speech: What stops Hugh Beaumont. Sort of. It's set up like a cross between Humanity on Trial and the shared Aesop between Ward and the Beaver at the end of every episode.
- Running Gag
- "Did you ever fly/crash/die in one of these things?"
- "I always said I was never going to die in a plane, but now I'm very excited about it."
- "I can see my house from here!"
- When the rocket is flying through the sky in the beginning: "Jane, stop this crazy thing!"
- (matter-of-factly) "Rock climbing."
- Standard '50s Father: Michael J. Nelson as the grandaddy of all '50s fathers, Hugh Beaumont, AKA former Trope Namer Ward Cleaver of Leave It to Beaver, comes bearing "a message of unholy death" as one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
- Something Completely Different:
- This is one of the few, if only, MST episodes where Joel doesn't get to do the invention exchange (much to his annoyance).
- Also, Joel's jumpsuit is light turquoise instead of his usual red.
- Take Our Word for It: Inverted; we never see the "cool thing" and they never describe it more elaborately than "cool!", but it became the subject of a write-in contest where viewers could come up with their own ideas.
- The Unseen: The "Cool Thing".