Father Mulcahy returns to the 4077th from a jog in a sour mood after seeing the orphanage fall into ever more serious disrepair, so he is uninterested when an excited Klinger reports that Jessup McFarland, a sprinter who nearly qualified for the Olympics, has been assigned to the unit as their supply sergeant. He already has a scheme in mind to organise a foot race against Private LeMasters of the 8063rd - which delights Margaret, who is out for revenge against their chief nurse, Major Judy "Parallel" Parker. She goads Hawkeye and B.J. into joining her in putting up a week's pay for the wagers on the race. However, the new supply sergeant is Jessup McFarland Sr., the sprinter's overweight father.
Now facing the wrath of everyone who placed bets on the outcome of the race, Klinger has no choice but to persuade Father Mulcahy to enter the race on behalf of the 4077th (requiring a shift from a sprint to a distance race), promising that if he wins, the engineering corps with several patients currently recovering in Post Op will build a much-needed new roof for the orphanage. As the race begins, it is clear Mulcahy is hopelessly outclassed by LeMasters, and the bettors resign themselves to the impending loss.
Meanwhile, one of the engineers, Private Palmer, is mocked by both his squadmates and his commander, Captain Sweeney, for both his perceived role in the incident that led to their injuries and his severe stutter. Charles takes an interest in Palmer, threatening to report Sweeney if he ever insults Palmer's stutter again and assuring the self-conscious private that, contrary to what he believes, he is highly intelligent. Palmer is thrilled by Charles' gift of a leather-bound copy of Moby-Dick and asks why the major is being so nice to him; Charles avoids answering, but later returns to the Swamp to listen to the latest recorded letter from his sister Honoria... who also has a pronounced stutter.
As the race enters the home stretch, the crowd are amazed to see Mulcahy overtake LeMasters, but he stops short of the finish line and tells Col. Potter that unless the winnings are donated to the orphanage, he will throw the race. Potter and the other bettors agree, and Mulcahy crosses the line and is declared the winner. However, he later admits that LeMasters threw the race; he occasionally slowed down to give Mulcahy a sporting chance, during which times Mulcahy told him about the poor conditions at the orphanage, which he was eventually able to see for himself when they ran past the building. LeMasters, Mulcahy says, was so moved that he agreed to let the priest win. Unfortunately for Klinger, he is already trying to organise races against other MASH units, prompting a hasty call to Sparky when he discovers the truth.
Attention, all personnel! Father Mulcahy and Private LeMasters' route passes the following tropes:
- Artistic License – Military: A stutter as bad as Pvt. Palmer's would have disqualified him from military service, as he wouldn't have been able to acknowledge or pass on orders in a timely manner.
- Batman Gambit: On those occasions where he could get close enough, Mulcahy talked to LeMasters about the orphans' plight. As Mulcahy expected, it got to LeMasters, who ended up throwing the race so that the orphanage could get the winnings. Mulcahy also refuses to cross the finish line unless the 4077 gang agree to donate their winnings.
- Brutal Honesty: When Klinger is trying to smooth things over with the officers after his mistake regarding the identity of their new supply sergeant by buttering them up, Charles cuts him off by saying he doesn't need to suck up to him, saying, in so many words, that he didn't bet and he doesn't like Klinger anyway.
- Chekhov's Gun: Early on, Klinger is delivering mail, and Winchester sees he's received another recorded letter from his sister. It proves instrumental in explaining why Winchester took a special interest in Palmer's situation.
- Continuity Nod: Nurse Kellye once again shows her bedside manner.
- Freudian Excuse: The reason Winchester defends Palmer so vigorously is because his sister, Honoria, also stutters.
- Funny Background Event: Behind Margaret telling off Jesse, Hawkeye is excitedly groping a moustachioed extra and ends up hitting him with his own hat.
- Hidden Depths: Sophisticated bookworm Winchester has read a few comic books in his time. He also helps Palmer see that having a stutter doesn't mean he's stupid and even gives him a copy of Moby-Dick.
- Hidden Heart of Gold: Downplayed. It's no secret that Winchester defends Palmer against others, but the Major prefers to keep his reasons to himself.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Palmer's two squadmates mock him and laugh at Sweeney's insults. They later observe in a friendly way that Nurse Kellye seems to like him, only to mockingly say his stutter would keep him from even trying to ask her out.
- Late to the Realization: After LeMasters is very gracious about his supposed loss, Potter recalls how Mulcahy was struggling when handed water and that it was thus very odd for him to pull off a win during the home stretch.
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: Upon picking up on the deal, Potter says there was some "cahootinizing" between Mulcahy and LeMasters.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Averted with Captain Sweeney, who openly mocks Palmer for his stutter. Played straight with Winchester, who promises to take Sweeney to task, to the extent of threatening to leave a formal reprimand in his service record, if he doesn't clean up his act.
- Shout-Out: Winchester says he's read Captain Marvel comics.
- Speaking Up for Another: Maj. Winchester hears several soldiers mocking and taunting a young man, Pvt. Palmer, for his stutter, calling him "dummy" and "idiot" and such. Winchester, with absolute venom in his voice, informs the others that if they say another unkind word to Palmer, he will put them all on report. Winchester has a private conversation with Palmer later, telling him that he's reviewed his record and found that he's quite intelligent, and cites several famous people who stuttered. And he even lends one of his treasured books to Palmer. Winchester then returns to his tent to listen to a recorded letter from his beloved sister Honoria, who, we learn as we listen to the tapes, also has a stutter.
- Speech Impediment: Private Palmer's stutter is key to his subplot. His squadmates mock him with Porky Pig impressions, and his commander, Captain Sweeney, sarcastically imitates it when berating him for landing his team in hospital. However, Charles breaks through Palmer's belief that his stutter means he cannot be as intelligent as his test results suggest, and we later discover that his personal interest in Palmer is motivated by the fact that his beloved sister, Honoria, also stutters.
