Because three is a magic number.
We start in Will's history class (yes, he still does that). However it's interrupted by Emma, who tells him they have to do it now. Do what you ask? Oh, each other. Yes, you read that right, seems that in a complete Out-of-Character Moment, Wemma has snuck off for a round of kinky teacher and the naughty counselor. We're shocked too, I mean who knew they had it in them? Unfortunately, despite proof that Good People Have Good Sex, Wemma forgot where they were; their noisy coupling drawing the attention of one Becky Jackson, who is now sadly blinded for life. Naturally this leads Wemma to Sue's office, where the conversation that follows is completely and utterly scarring; namely, Wemma want an offspring. Time and place you too; yes, the adolescents hump all the live long day, but you're supposed to set the example. Anyway, Emma says "emission" and Sue dry heaves as we hit the Title Card.
Extreme close up of Tina applying lipstick. Blaine at his locker. Sam in the locker room working out. Then, sudden Destiny's Child. Yes, the "Trio" of the episode are singing for the sake of singing - no, that's their reason. Glee has officially given up on trying to come up with reasons for characters to break out into song. They're seniors and want to just keep singing as much as they can before they graduate. However, they have forgotten Artie. He reminds them that a trio is 25% less powerful than a quartet, which he learned in senior math class. We're not sure if that's exactly correct, but can't be bothered to do the junior (at latest) math involved with working it out. Tina cries. That will be her main purpose for this episode. Cut to NYADA and Taskmistress Berry. Seems with Santana as understudy, and having been either read the riot act by Dear Lucille or been comforted accordingly, the ego's at it's peak and no one is safe, as she's pretty much running Funny Girl even though it's her day off, having gotten her bosses to have a band on retainer at all times. Elliott arrives, having taken her in after pitching her bitch fit, to give her a key, her wardrobe and herbal tea. Why yes, she is treating him like her personal slave boy, why do you ask? She even refers to him as her new "Best Gay", a term not exactly productive for living arrangements. He does tell her to change it up and sing something different to give herself a break. "Something different" being a song with "Heart", which Rachel wouldn't know, probably. Rachel's band, though, is the band who did that song (and yet they're using sheet music when she isn't). Afterwards, we see Blam try on their robes upon Blaine's insistence, Blaine realizing how close they are to diploma. Tina enters and Tina cries. Sam tells her that they'll keep in touch, but Tina reminds them that they haven't spoken to any of last year's grads since the memorial episode, which was now months ago apparently. Sam promises to send Tina an impression every week... in exchange for pics of her Cohen-Chang's. Face Palm. Apparently Murphy realized there were two veteran ND women Sam hadn't had yet. The other one we'll see next season. Blaine, more rationally, says they can make a memory by having a senior lock-in.
After the break, we're in the lounge with Beiste and Will as Emma approaches. She's still not with small Schuester; this causes Will to start rattling off statistics that just freak her out more, even though she loves control and they may be comforting to her. Sue and Beiste points out that his little swimmers might be more effective if Emma's more relaxed. All this Schue sex talk has naturally annoyed Sue enough to overturn the senior lock-in idea, blaming "oh, I don't know, Obamacare". Tina cries. She then writhes on the sticky floor of the hall, Blam actually rescuing her by suggesting they unlock a choir room window and sneak in. Great idea, as there will be no security in a school that recently had a gun scare; of course Figgins couldn't pay for the metal detectors. Also - the choir room windows are horizontal slits by the ceiling, wouldn't it be logical to use windows that are accessible? Yes, we said logic, we know better. They don't. Cut to Bushwick, where Elliott arrives to see Santana with a weave. Seems she has a master plan to oust Rachel from the role of Fanny: Weave, sexy rehearsal clothes which she "could never pull off" (that is of course reserved for Dear Lucille), sneaking into the theater and tack up sophomore yearbook pics. Genius Lopez. Sheer genius. Elliott, clearly wanting none of any of it, is there to get some of Rachel's sheet music from Santana, asking where she keeps it. "Up her butt" is said so genuinely it's practically believable. Then Santana notices he said Rachel moved in with him, and she isn't impressed at him taking in the girl. Traitor. Though, when she finds out he needs money she offers him a bit of a job for her. She also accepts it as a reason for him to let Rachel stay with him. Money, that's what makes the Snixx go 'round. Batman-esq transition to the choir room, where Nightbird has climbed in through the choir room window, with Tina and Sam following. And thus we get a meeting of these Simple Minds, trashing the place, having wheeled-chair and fire extinguisher races, and drawing on their chins for the upside-down singing, all while wearing Cheerio! uniforms as a reminder of that Aborted Arc. Although Sam does look rather fetching in the skirt we must say. Afterwards, we of course find out that this whole sequence was too easy to be true, as Sentry Jackson catches them Red and White Handed.
After the break, we find out that Becky wants in on the lock-in, threatening to call the cops if Gay Blaine doesn't play Twister with her. And take an 11-hour energy shot every time someone falls. Becky really likes the guy even though she calls him "Gay Blaine". Anyway, cut to Casa de Schue, where Will has turned the craft room into a nursery, which he first mentioned doing in the Pilot. From there, it's a rare Wemma duet, the Loggins and Messina indicating that Foreshadowing is not subtle anymore, is it? Back to the lock-in, and we see Becky has Blaine in a Twister Curb-Stomp Battle. When he falls over, he decides he doesn't want to play any longer, but then notices his friends have left. Artie's not their friend, they've been excluding him all episode. That's ablest (Oh, how we miss Brittany, seriously wish she'd come back). When he and Becky go to investigate, he also walks in on something he never wanted to see, but at least saves Becky from catching this again. Tina has been swallowed by Trouty Mouth, and only for this episode - the incident will only be mentioned in passing when referring to either Sam's conquest of the glee girls or Tina's failing love life. Blaine is mad that they've ruined the lock-in, even though this is really just another great story. Cut to the Diner, where, taking a night shift, Santana has dragged Elliott. Rachel arrives late, and someone who may be in charge points her towards a table where the aforementioned people sit. Seems Santana's paying Elliott to run lines with her and that sets Rachel off, much like everything else these days. From there, another table is requesting a number; it's her birthday, she's called Gloria, and has requested a specific song. "Happy Birthday?" No. Rachel's a bit slow on the uptake, and so Santana steps right in to perform with Elliott as back-up. Smelling competition, Rachel quickly recovers and what follows is vocal posturing, as Rachel tries to steal Santana's spotlight at every corner. It's funny, how she cuts right past a Santana who becomes increasingly disgruntled. Also, Santana's dancing. That's hilarious. Elliott however, is not impressed, telling both dueling divas Screw This, I'm Outta Here!. Cut back to McKinley where Blaine is sickened at Tina and Sam. Gotta say, we kinda we're too. Now, if it was Blaine and Sam... never mind. Blaine gave up bumper bowling with Artie and Kitty so how dare they, though they try to apologize by saying how they are definitely never going to become a couple. Well, Sam suggests they could keep fooling around if Blaine is going to be mad anyway. Tina's not impressed at him, now, either. They're now on the same page as us.
After the break, we're back at Bushwick where Kurt has given up on brokering peach, deciding to clean house and telling Pezberry they've both been kicked out of the band. Santana doesn't believe him, her own girlfriend wouldn't kick her out of her own band. Ooh, but she did. See, it should be mentioned at this point that this is Demi Lovato's last episode and the timing is interesting. At this point, the guest list for Episode 100 had been announced, and amongst the cameos was a certain much-missed blonde. Upon knowing this, the residual Brittana fans became cautiously optimistic. Whether Murphy threw them a bone, or he was too focused on American Horror Story and thus either Falchuck or Brennan made the deal is unknown. But it seems as though Dani is about to become a non-issue... anyway, Kurt says that not only have the pair of them been kicked out of the band, the band has dissolved to become a trio called One Three Hill. He then invites them both to come to the first gig, telling them he thinks they can set their differences aside for their friends. Lady Hummel, if they could do that then they would still be in the band, wouldn't they? Cut to the venue, where Pezberry reluctantly to sit next to each other, despite the many empty seats left like that so at a different point the cameras can be put there to get a different angle. Demi Lovato finally makes her scheduled appearance, but she's got blue hair and is wearing a suit. Hot damn. Santana's face agrees. They eventually get to some Supremes, too, after Kurt's stupidly long introduction that could barely be made out. Given how high his and Adam's voices are, and how comparatively low Demi's is, it can also barely be made out who is singing when at times. Sometimes having the same range and fairly identical vocals can be good for a group, but often some diversity with tonal quality is great. Yeah, but then Demi belts a note and all is forgiven.
After the break, we see Rachel at Bushwick for the home stretch and... "What are you digging through my panty drawer, lezzy?" are Santana's words, because Rachel has is doing exactly that. Apparently before it contained crotchless panties (very nice to anticipate all situations Lopez), it was Rachel's scented candle drawer. Do you have a scented candle drawer? Dear Lucille does, but between her and Rachel, it serves no good. Santana also thinks Rachel needs to see someone because of it, and much of the rest of her behavior. One Three Hill arrive, surprised to find them getting along. They're both embarrassed to be caught in a truce, and decide to go to work immediately. Because they both are actually needed at work right now (at the diner or theater? Unspecified, probably one at each so they can avoid each other.) Oh, wait, I found the lesbian relationship! They finally interact, Dani begging Santana to stay and watch them rehearse so she doesn't feel so bad about kicking her out. No, Santana really does need to work even though she just got in. It serves the story, ignore the plot holes. The couple almost kiss, Santana maybe hitting the corner of her girlfriend's mouth, and then never see each other ever again. Dani would be mentioned exactly twice by the end of the season. Cut to the choir room, where Blaine now apologies to Sam and Tina, saying that the lock-in not going as he intricately planned just reminded him of the year not being everything he'd built it up to be in his hopes. They embrace, then Sam asks what's gonna happen to ND when they graduate. Well... Artie wheels in and glares at them all, as he should, then the rest of ND arrive (including the S4 newbies who are just here still because they have to perform at Nationals soon, and the actors have to fulfill the rest of their contracts thus making them the proverbial dead characters walking). Will gives them some actually good advice about how worrying about accomplishments gets in the way of accomplishments. I know, we're surprised too. He then reveals that Nationals is gonna be held in LA because cheap. Blaine then calls upon his fellow seniors (including Artie) for one last senior song. Thus we cue up the Wilson and the Phillips as we sing between Lima and NY and all the way to...
- Jumpin' Jumpin' by Destiny's Child, performed by Sam, Blaine, and Tina
- Barracuda by Heart, performed by Rachel and Elliottnote
- Don't You (Forget About Me), by Simple Minds, performed by Sam, Blaine, and Tina
- Danny's Song by Loggins and Messina, performed by Will and Emma
- Gloria by Laura Branigan, performed by Santana, Rachel, and Elliott
- The Happening by The Supremes, performed by One Three Hill
- Hold On by Wilson Phillips, performed by Sam, Blaine, Artie, Tina, Santana, Rachel, Dani, Kurt and Elliott
- Fanfic Fuel: "Trio", which takes the Blaine/Tina/Sam subplot and leads it to a rather kinky place.
- Shout-Out: To Showgirls. Rachel refers to Santana (also referring to her speech in "Frenemies") as "Gina Gershon Junior." A little bit of Foreshadowing, as well.
Santana: Two men enter, one leaves.
- Also to Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome.
- Tuxedo and Martini: Elliott, as part of One Three Hill.