Boomstick: And Po, the chosen Kung Fu Panda.
Wiz: The way of kung-fu can be full of hardship, but these two unlikely masters have shown that with the right training and determination, anyone can walk the path of the Dragon Warrior.
The season's sixth episode proves this view right, as two orphans born from tragedy, finding peace through the martial arts, arrive on its stage. They have dedicated themselves to honing body and soul, and reaching greater heights through facing others like them and triumphing over all foes; holders of the mantle of dragon warrior, the Iron Fist and Po meet in a field like no other, the field of a death battle.
Guarded by the legendary Iron Fist, K'un-Lun is a mythical Tibetan city that only appears once every ten years. The son of one Iron Fist's former apprentice, Danny Rand lost his whole family during an expedition gone wrong when his father's business partner, Harold Meachum, betrayed them. He was then adopted by K'un-Lun's people, where motivated by revenge, he spent his youth training to take on the title of Iron Fist. After defeating Shou-Lao in combat, he succeeded at this goal, inheriting the dragon's chi and becoming the next Iron Fist.
Working alongside Luke Cage, Iron Fist is now a hero as well as a philantrophist. His mastery over chi grants him an array of abilities from the Book of the Iron Fist, including hypnosis, a Healing Factor, powerful chi blasts, interdimensional travel (letting him travel to K'un-Lun more than just once a decade), and Energy Absorption. He also has superhuman speed and strength on top of being one of Marvel's most skilled martial artists, being able to strike with the force of a hydrogen bomb and keep up with the likes of Captain America and Spider-Man. One of his most impressive showings even has him survive an explosion that can "make Hiroshima look like a sparkler" (an analogy whose tastelessness is Lampshaded by our hosts).
- Iron Fist: I've earned the Iron Fist. And no one can take that from me, not even you! (hits Shou-Lao with the Iron Fist, disintegrating him)
In the other corner is Po. The sole survivor of Lord Shen's genocide of the pandas, Po was adopted by Mr. Ping, a goose, and got to work in a noodle restaurant. However, he dreamt of becoming a kung fu master, idolizing the Furious Five. This dream became reality when he was chosen by Master Oogway during the Dragon Ceremony, making him the Dragon Warrior.
Finding himself unsuited to the Furious Five's fighting styles, Po created his own Panda Style, which takes advantage of the durability his rotund body grants him, letting him endure attacks while wearing down his opponent and waiting for an opening. His other techniques include the Thundering Wind Hammer, Paralyzing Shoulder Touch, and Golden Lotus Clap. The Hero's Chi grants him even more abilities, making him comparable to previous heroes such as the Black Tortoise, who was able to stop a meteor big enough to wipe out all life on Earth. Attaining enlightenment even grants Po the focus to Catch and Return cannonballs. However, his most impressive technique is the Wuxi Finger Hold, which banishes its target to the afterlife. Even using it on himself isn't an issue, as he can also travel between the realms, effectively letting him come back to life at will.
- Po: (surrounded by a golden dragon formed by chi) I am the Dragon Warrior. (beat) Get it, see the giant dragon? (laughs with the chi dragon pantomiming him)
With all that being said, these two masters of the martials arts are ready to enter the ring. One advertisement for Rooster Teeth's animated anthology Neon Konbini later, and now, it's time for a death battle!
The Jade Palace, Valley of Peace. In the palace courtyard, Danny Rand practices his craft, vigorous grunts punctuating his every move; little does he know that Po Ping, the dragon warrior, watches in awe. While the Furious Five's leader is already awestruck seeing the Iron Fist at work, his excitement only heightens upon hearing of Danny's position as the dragon warrior. The panda proposes to his counterpart a friendly sparring match, and Danny happily accepts. Both martial artists take a stance, and with final words of encouragement, charge headlong into action.
FIGHT!
Danny takes an early lead in the fight, striking Po with several punches and palm strikes. The force of these blows launches the panda into the nearby barracks, but with his girth absorbing the impact, Po rebounds off the wall and slams rear-first into the Iron Fist. After repaying Danny's earlier string of attacks with one of his own, the guardian of K'un-Lun catches an incoming kick, using his chi to then hypnotize the dragon warrior. The mental haze plaguing the panda continues even as Danny launches him into the air, but the son of Mr. Ping comes to his senses; visualizing Danny as a dumpling, he breaks Danny's concentration, interrupting an incoming chi blast with an axe kick of his own. His own chi, as jade as the palace, manifests around his forepaws before being expelled in a dense stream. The Iron Fist, now taking more of an interest in Po, darts behind him and draws chi around himself once again. Po remains enamored by his foe's skill, even moments before being blasted off the courtyard, tumbling headlong down the palace steps.
Po's descent ends only when he soars towards a grove of bamboo shoots rising in the distance; the dragon warrior takes hold and slows his descent before slipping off and landing on the ground. Danny, kicking a swathe of bamboo apart, grabs onto his impromptu polearm and urges Po to give his all in the fight. Po gives the same encouragement, tearing another shoot into his hands. The two fighters seem evenly matched as they trade blows with the bamboo until Po, fitting enough, closes the distance by eating his way down Danny's staff. The Iron Fist uses this to his advantage, unleashing a fierce combo that knocks Po across the grove; to buy himself some time, the ursine combatant waves his shoot across Danny's face. The bamboo proves an effective diversion, disorienting Danny with its scent, but he fights through the confusion to close in on his fellow dragon warrior. In the remaining haze, Danny leaves himself open for Po to grip a single finger.
Trying to build up his own hype for the Wuxi Finger Hold, Po attempts to demonstrate it upon the Rand son, only for Danny to slip out of Po's grasp. It takes Po a few tries, but after catching Danny in a tight grapple around himself, the dragon warrior unveils the true might of the Finger Hold; a flash of gold later, and the two fighters have been whisked to the spirit world. While Danny takes a moment to comprehend his new surroundings, the dragon warrior, already familiar with the new terrain, catches the Iron Fist with a Golden Lotus Clap. The blinding flash that follows stuns Danny, but he recovers in time to bat Po from his person; now is the Iron Fist's turn to unveil his ace. Charging straight towards the panda, Danny unleashes his moniker's eponymous technique. The Iron Fist sends Po rocketing through the misty void surrounding them, eventually crashing into a distant island. Po, seemingly none the worse off, draws from the chi around him to create a draconic aura. Aided by his construct, Po flies back into the battle, ecstatic at the stakes.
Danny, more shocked by the bear's stamina, follows Po's lead; a fiery dragon erups from his person and flies back into him. Setting the island ablaze from the sheer force of this chi, the skeletal form Danny now adopts directs his dragon towards that of Po's. The monsters bite and strike each other, but Po ultimately proves superior; his dragon consumes Danny's, and now unopposed, flies straight into the Iron Fist. Once more, Po sees Danny take the form of a dumpling, and with his focus renewed, directs his dragon to swallow the superhero. K'un-Lun's defender rears a fist back in an attempt to break through Po's chi, but his form soon dissipates to dust, and then nothingness as the big fat panda smashes through him. The dragon takes the form of a yin-yang sign before transporting Po back into the physical realm. Overcome with delight at his newest challenger, Po rushes out the bamboo grove and back to the Palace to his share his experience with his masters.
KO!
Boomstick, while surprised at first by the outcome, then becomes skeptical. To give Danny his due, Danny's superior speed played a major role in the fight. Reaction speeds of a micro-second and comparing to light-dodging superheroes puts him well above the lightning-fast Po. Experience was another one of Danny's advantages, having trained in martial arts all his life and having better control over it compared to Po. This, however, is where the odds tips back into the panda's favor. Po's fighting style centers around taking hits from faster foes to wear down their stamina and find an opening, and a fight like this would be the perfect scenario. In the way of attack potency, the highest generous estimate that could be given to the Iron Fist is a respectable 150 megatons. In comparison, Po's Wuxi Finger Hold has a destructive yield almost six times greater; and that is only off of Po's own feats. Given his comparability to the Black Tortoise blocking an extinction-level meteor, Po could, in theory, be nearly seven hundred thousand times stronger than even the best possible outcome of Danny's Iron Fist. Abilities such as pressure point manipulation, mind control and chi-absorption seemed like useful assets, but Po's natural body fat, his chi-protected mind and his too-great reserves of the spiritual energy were suitable to counter them. Even putting all of this aside, Po's path to enlightenment and his ability to travel between the physical and spirit worlds make it unlikely that he can be killed through conventional means. Danny was a talented fighter to be sure, but Po had all the advantages to outclass him well beyond any limits the Iron Fist could handle.
Wiz: The winner is Po!
Iron Fist vs. Po contains examples of:
- Continuity Nod: Like the last time a comedic fighter had his straight-laced foe dead to rights, Boomstick initially has trouble believing Po had a chance at winning. Though this time, Boomstick is more genuinely surprised that Po won than incensed.
- Dragons Up the Yin Yang: In a two-for-one example, at that: Po's chi dragon, after devouring Danny, takes the form of a taijitu before transporting Po back to the physical realm.
- Eye Scream: Po's Golden Lotus Clap creates a debilitating flash of light that blinds those exposed to it; when Boomstick demonstrates it, his eyes noticeably redden and his irises shrink until he rubs the strain out of them.
- Foregone Conclusion: As Wiz mentions, Po's Enlightenment Superpowers let him travel between the mortal realm and afterlife at will, meaning that conventional death would not stick with him. Iron Fist doesn't really have a way to deal with that, making it impossible for him to put Po down for good.
- Furry Reminder: The two fighters briefly trade blows using bamboo shoots as staves, before Po, befitting a panda, eats his way through Danny's bamboo.
- Improvised Weapon: After they land in the thicket of bamboo, the fighters both break off two stalks to use as staves.
- Mythology Gag:
- Like in the first movie, Po takes a tumble down the Jade Palace's lengthy flight of stairs courtesy of Danny blasting him off.
- Po catches Danny with the Wuxi Finger Hold and tries hyping it up like Master Shifu did to Po himself; it doesn't quite work out because Danny's unfamiliar with the hold.
- On two separate occasions does Wiz quotes Oogway's catchphrase that "there are no accidents."
- No-Sell:
- One of the major points in Po's favor is that he has counters around several of the Iron Fist's abilities: he can resist mind control techniques like what Danny has, and his pressure points are protected through his natural fat.
- Exaggerated when the hosts suggest that, due to his mastery of enlightenment, Po could travel between the physical and spirit worlds at will, effectively no selling a killing blow.
- Running Gag:
- One of Danny's greatest uses of the Iron Fist is a punch said to "make Hiroshima look like a firecracker," and without fail, the hosts comment on the tastelessness of that comparison every time it's brought up.
- All throughout Po's rundown, Boomstick addresses the characters of the Kung Fu Panda series by their actors' names.
- Sliding Scale of Silliness vs. Seriousness: Iron Fist, a more dramatic and spectacle-filled take on wuxia, against Po, the bumbling slapstick version of the genre. The sillier combatant wins this round due to having better stamina, counters against his foe's abilities, greater mastery of his own, and much more physical power behind him to outlast his foe's greater speed and skill.
- Tactical Rock–Paper–Scissors: One major disadvantage faced by Iron Fist is that his agile fighting style is countered by Po's: while Danny has a significant speed advantage, Po is a Stone Wall who can endure attacks until he gets an opening, which has let him keep up with faster opponents in the past.
- There Can Be Only One: More affectionate than most examples, but the fight still starts because of Po's interest in determining the better dragon warrior.Po: Oh yeah, may the best dragon win!
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Neither Iron Fist no Po are remotely surprised by the other's presence. While Danny's non-reaction to a talking anthropomorphic panda can be chalked up to the fact that he's seen stranger things in the Marvel universe, Po comes from a world where humans don't exist.
- Victory by Endurance: Po's whole fighting style revolves around this, using his bulk to tire out his foes long enough for him to stage a counterattack. Iron Fist is explicitly compared to Tai Lung in this regard, and he turns out to be the exact sort of fighter Po regularly comes up against.
- What Do You Mean, It's for Kids?: In-Universe, Boomstick is surprised at how dark Po's backstory is, with Po being a Genocide Survivor sent away by his mother. During the post-fight rundown, he's again surprised at how Po's also attained Nirvana.Boomstick: Sheesh, we got REAL dark with the sequel, huh?Boomstick: Man, that's some heavy stuff for a cartoon bear voiced by Jack Black.
- Who's on First?: In Danny's analysis, there's a brief bit regarding his victory over a villain named the White Man; not to be confused with the villain that is the white man.Boomstick: Well, whitey better watch out!
- Worthy Opponent: For the second time this season, the headlining fighters are actively friendly towards one another; Po expresses his excitement at seeing the Iron Fist in action, and not only is Danny eager to accept his challenge, but he's the one who pushes them to fight no holds barred.
