- I wanna lock you in a basement with soundproof walls
And take over your identity.
I wanna cut the silky hair right off your head
And slurp it up, like spaghetti.
Wanna clone you and consume you,
Wanna own you and cartoon you,
Fly your dirty panties like a kite.
Written by Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosh McKenna, directed by Don Scardino. Original airdate 10/19/2015.
"When Rebecca learns that Josh has a gorgeous yoga instructor girlfriend named Valencia, she is determined to learn everything about her. Rebecca attempts (unsuccessfully) to learn yoga, tries (unsuccessfully) to get into the local nightclub Josh and Valencia go to, and finds herself becoming a little too obsessed with Valencia."
Songs:
"I'm So Good At Yoga" (sung by Gabrielle Ruiz)
- Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head: The final verse of the lyrics is nothing but repeated "Nyah nyah nyah"s.
- Flexibility Equals Sex Ability: Rebecca feels threatened and jealous of her old flame Josh's new girlfriend Valencia, a conventionally attractive yoga teacher, and shows up to her yoga class to examine her. She imagines Valencia in a Bollywood-style number singing about how her flexibility and skill at yoga lets her kiss her own genitals, makes anal sex painless, and gives her easy vaginal orgasms. Furthermore, the choreography is very sexual.
- Flipping the Bird: In the explicit version of the song, when Valencia sings "I'm so much better than you!" she gives Rebecca a double dose of this.
- "I Am Great!" Song: Highlights include: "I'm not afraid to get tattoos and they are all in Sanskrit/Butt stuff doesn't hurt at all, most times I prefer it."
- Power Perversion Potential: Rebecca imagines Valencia using her yoga poses as sexual poses.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Apparently, Rebecca's afraid of clowns and trains.
- You Are Fat: The song is aimed directly at Rebecca's insecurities about herself, hence Valencia telling her "Screeeew you, you're fat."
"Feeling Kinda Naughty" (sung by Rachel Bloom)
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Rebecca wants to do a number of creepy things to Valencia. She also wants to... cartoon her. As she's singing that, she holds up a cartoon drawing of Valencia to demonstrate.
- Deconstructive Parody: Of Katy Perry's "I Kissed a Girl." It takes the general theme of "I have a girlcrush on you" and exaggerates it until it becomes "I want to kill you and wear your skin like a dress, but also have you see me in the dress." She isn't just obsessed with being "cutesy" with Valencia — she is obsessed with becoming Valencia.
- Did I Just Say That Out Loud?: A line in the song is sheepishly apologising for saying the first verse out loud and trying to backtrack.
- Fake King: "I wanna lock you in a basement with soundproof walls and take over your identity."
- Fanservice: Rebecca is glammed up in the music video portions, wearing skimpy lingerie...which quickly turns to Fan Disservice when she says things like "I want to cut the silky hair right off your head and slurp it up like spaghetti."
- Genuine Human Hide: Rebecca wants to wear Valencia's skin (in the song).
- Green-Eyed Monster: Ultimately, what Rebecca wants is to be with Josh and she envies Valencia because of it. This twists into wanting to be friends with Valencia and then wanting to be Valencia.
- I Just Want to Be You: "I want to lock you in a basement and take over your identity."
- Obsession Song: About Rebecca's obsession with Valencia.
- Slumber Party: Rebecca is in a nightie having one of these with two other girls, with heavy emphasis on the girl-on-girl elements.
Tropes in this episode:
- Bribe Backfire: When Rebecca gives a bouncer $500 to let her and Paula into a club, he assumes she's either a cop or a drug dealer, and doesn't let them in, saying he would have accepted a 20.
- Forceful Kiss: When Rebecca and Valencia are dancing Rebecca gives her a kiss on the lips. Valencia immediately takes offense at this, which isn't all that unreasonable when you think about it.
- In Vino Veritas: Rebecca gets drunk and accidentally tells Valencia that Josh is her ex.
- Outclassed at the Gym: Rebecca, an average woman, tries to suss out her ex's girlfriend Valencia at the latter's yoga class. As a newcomer to yoga, Rebecca feels insecure about how much better everyone in the class is, and is intimidated by the flexible, toned, and conventionally beautiful Valencia.
