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Recap / Crash Thompson

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2013

2014

2015

2016

  • David Bowie - - 4.5/5
  • Megadeth - Dystopia - 3.5/5
  • Mr. Gnome - Madness in Miniature - 4/5
  • BABYMETAL - METAL RESISTANCE - 5/5
  • Deftones - Gore - 4.5/5
  • Radiohead - A Moon Shaped Pool - 4.5/5
  • Catch-Up Quickie #6 ("Raiders of the Lost Ketchup"):
  • blink-182 - California - 4.5/5
  • 3-For-All:
  • Good Charlotte - Youth Authority - 2.5/5
  • 3-For-All:
    • Hellyeah - Unden!able - 2.5/5
    • Violent Femmes - We Can Do Anything - 3.5/5
    • Volbeat - Seal the Deal & Let's Boogie - 4/5
  • Of Mice & Men - Cold World - 2/5
  • Green Day - Revolution Radio - 5/5
  • Catch-Up Quickie #7 ("The Ketchup on the Rye"):
    • Touche Amore - Stage Four - 4.5/5
    • Modern Baseball - Holy Ghost - 3/5
    • Garbage - Strange Little Birds - 3.5/5
    • Descendents - Hypercaffium Spazzinate - 5/5
    • Skillet - Unleashed - 3/5
    • Gojira - Magma - 3.5/5
    • Billy Talent - Afraid of Heights - 4/5
    • A Day to Remember - Bad Vibrations - 4/5
    • Periphery - Periphery III: Select Difficulty - 5/5
    • Taking Back Sunday - Tidal Wave - 4.5/5
    • Against Me! - Shape Shift with Me - 5/5
    • Silhouette from the Skylit - Heracles - 5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up Quickie #1 ("Lucy in the Sky with Ketchup"):
    • Pixies - Head Carrier - 4/5
    • Vektor - Terminal Redux - 3.5/5
    • Lennon/Claypool Delirium - Monolith of Phobos - 4/5
    • Dinosaur Jr. - Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not - 4/5
    • Train - Train Does Led Zeppelin II - 1/5
    • Jimmy Eat World - Integrity Blues - 4/5
    • TTNG - Disappointment Island - 4/5
    • arrows in her - It Tired Me All The Same - 4.5/5
    • Car Seat Headrest - Teens of Denial - 4/5
    • PUP - The Dream Is Over - 4.5/5
    • Drowning Pool - Hellelujah - 1.5/5
    • Haken - Affinity - 5/5
  • Metallica - Hardwired... to Self-Destruct - 3.5/5

2017

  • Sundara Karma - Youth is Only Ever Fun in Retrospect - 4/5
  • Code Orange - Forever - 4/5
  • The Regrettes - Feel Your Feelings Fool - 4.5/5
  • AFI - AFI (The Blood Album) - 2.5/5
  • Patreon Double Review: Sepultura - Machine Messiah / Deaf Radio - Alarm
    • Machine Messiah - 2/5
    • Alarm - 3.5/5
  • Double Review: Courage My Love - Synesthesia / The Menzingers - After the Party
    • Synesthesia - 5/5
    • After the Party - 5/5
  • Suicide Silence - Suicide Silence - 1.5/5
  • Emmure - Look at Yourself - 1/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up Quickie #2 ("Ketch Me Up When September Ends")
  • Gorillaz - Humanz - 3.5/5
  • Catch-Up Quickie #8 ("Gotta Ketch 'Em Up")
    • Spoon - Hot Thoughts - 2.5/5
    • Mastodon - Emperor of Sand - 5/5
    • IDLES - Brutalism - 4.5/5
    • As It Is - okay. - 4/5
    • Diet Cig - Swear I'm Good At This - 4.5/5
    • Northlane - Mesmer - 4/5
    • Remo Drive - Greatest Hits - 4/5
    • The Maine - Lovely Little Lonely - 3.5/5
    • The Smith Street Band - More Scared of You than You Are of Me - 5/5
    • Falling in Reverse - Coming Home - 1.5/5
    • D-Metal Stars - Metal Disney - 0.5/5
    • Creeper - Eternity, In Your Arms - 5/5
  • At the Drive-In - in•ter a•li•a - 4.5/5
  • Paramore - After Laughter - 4.5/5
  • Linkin Park - One More Light - COMPLETE FUCKING DARKNESS/5
  • 3-For-All:
    • The Birthday Massacre - Under Your Spell - 3.5/5
    • Rancid - Trouble Maker - 4/5
    • Rise Against - Wolves - 4.5/5
  • Double Review: Royal Blood - How Did We Get So Dark? / Nickelback - Feed the Machine
    • How Did We Get So Dark? - 3.5/5
    • Feed the Machine - 4/5
  • Backwordz - Veracity - 1.5/5
  • Brand New - Science Fiction - 5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up Blitz:
    • Bella Morte - Year of the Ghost - 4/5
    • Xplore Yesterday - My War - 2.5/5
    • Five Horse Johnson - Jake Leg Boogie - 3.5
    • Roger Waters - Is This the Life We Really Want? - 5/5
    • Silverstein - Dead Reflection - 4/5
    • Currents - The Place I Feel Safest - 3.5/5
    • WSTR - Red, Green, or In Between - 4.5/5
    • Slowdive - Slowdive - 4/5
    • Igorrr - Savage Sinusoid - 2.5/5
    • McCafferty - Thanks. Sorry. Sure. - 5/5
    • Steven Wilson - To the Bone - 4/5
    • Grayscale - Adornment - 4/5
    • Chrysalis - Reminder - 4.5/5
    • Dirty Machine - Discord - 2/5
    • Ulver - The Assassination of Julius Caesar - 4/5
    • Sort Sol - Stor Langsom Stjerne - 2.5/5
    • The Gospel Youth - Always Lose - 4.5/5
    • Wage War - Deadweight - 4.5/5
    • Within The Ruins - Halfway Human - 4.5/5
    • Neck Deep - The Peace and the Panic - 4/5
    • A Lot Like Birds - DIVISI - 4.5/5
    • Starset - Vessels - 3/5
    • Rest, Repose - Rest, Repose - 2.5/5
    • Body Count - Bloodlust - 3/5
    • Nadine Shah - Holiday Destination - 4.5/5
    • Iced Earth - Incorruptible - 2/5
    • Pentakill - Pentakill II: Grasp of the Undying - 4/5
    • CONS - Slowhealer - 3.5/5
    • Authority Zero - Broadcasting to the Nations - 4/5
    • Nothing More - The Stories We Tell Ourselves - 3.5/5
    • Bad Cop/Bad Cop - Warriors - 5/5
    • Doll Skin - Manic Pixie Dream Girl - 4/5
    • The White Buffalo - Darkest Darks, Lightest Lights - 4.5/5
    • Primus - The Desaturating Seven - 2/5
    • The Sum - The Songs I Wrote For Other People - No score
    • Dying Fetus - Wrong One to Fuck With - 3.5/5
    • Protomartyr - Relatives in Descent - 4.5/5
    • Mastodon - Cold Dark Place - 4.5/5
  • 3-For-All:
    • Fozzy - Judas - 2.5/5
    • We Came as Romans - Cold Like War - 4/5
    • Weezer - Pacific Daydream - 2.5/5
  • Catch-Up Quickie #9 ("Ketchup Me If You Can!")
  • Double Review: '68 - Two Parts Viper / Toothgrinder - Phantom Amour
    • Two Parts Viper - 2.5/5
    • Phantom Amour - 4/5

2018

  • Fall Out Boy - M A N I A - 1/5
  • 3-For-All:
    • Corrosion of Conformity - No Cross, No Crown - 3.5/5
    • Waterparks - Entertainment - 3.5/5
    • Machine Head - Catharsis - 4/5
  • Moon Taxi - Let the Record Play - 3.5/5
  • Band-Maid - World Domination - 5/5
  • 3-For-All:
    • Ought - Room Inside the World - 3.5/5
    • Pianos Become the Teeth - Wait for Love - 3/5
    • Senses Fail - If There Is Light, It Will Find You - 4/5
  • Andrew W.K. - You're Not Alone - 2/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • Stuck Out - You Won't Come Home - 4/5
    • Extremities - Gaia - 3/5
    • Kyle Craft - Full Circle Nightmare - 5/5
    • Tiny Moving Parts - Swell - 4/5
    • Purest of Pain - Solipsis - 3/5
    • Ministry - AmeriKKKant - 1.5/5
    • Ducking Punches - Alamort - 3/5
    • Don Broco - Technology - 3.5/5
    • Cane Hill - Too Far Gone - 4.5/5
  • McCafferty - Yarn - 4.5/5
  • Underoath - Erase Me - 5/5
  • 30 Seconds to Mars - AMERICA - 1/5
  • A Perfect Circle - Eat the Elephant - 5/5
  • Double Review: Shinedown - Attention Attention / Frank Turner - Be More Kind
    • Attention Attention - 4/5
    • Be More Kind - 2.5/5
  • Arctic Monkeys - Tranquility Base Hotel & Casino - 3/5
  • Five Finger Death Punch - And Justice for None - 1/5
  • 3-For-All:
    • CHVRCHES - Love Is Dead - 3/5
    • Burn the Priest - Legion: XX - 3.5/5
    • At the Gates - To Drink from the Night Itself - 4.5/5
  • Ghost - Prequelle - 5/5
  • 3-For-All:
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • Earthless - Black Heaven - 4/5
    • Hop Along - Bark Your Head Off, Dog - 3/5
    • Church of the Cosmic Skull - Science Fiction - 3.5/5
    • The Sword - Used Future - 2/5
    • Between the Buried and Me - Automata I & II - 4.5/5
    • DOROTHY - 28 Days in the Valley - 5/5
  • 3-For-All:
  • Deaf Havana - Rituals - 4/5
  • Alkaline Trio - Is This Thing Cursed? - 4.5/5
  • Double Review: Alice in Chains - Rainier Fog / IDLES - Joy as an Act of Resistance
    • Rainier Fog - 3/5
    • Joy as an Act of Resistance - 5/5
  • Estrons - You Say I'm Too Much, I Say You're Not Enough - 4.5/5
  • Twenty One Pilots - Trench - 3/5
  • Muse - Simulation Theory - 2.5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • Impellitteri - The Nature of the Beast - 2.5/5
    • Bury Tomorrow - ‘’Black Flame’’ - 3.5/5
    • Greyhaven - Empty Black - 4/5
    • Architects - Holy Hell - 5/5
    • Greta Van Fleet - Anthem of the Peaceful Army - 3/5
    • Zeal & Ardor - Stranger Fruit - 5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • Jesus Piece - Only Self - 3.5/5
    • Fickle Friends - You Are Someone Else - 4/5
    • Aborted - TerrorVision - 3/5
    • Low - Double Negative - 2/5
    • Silent Planet - When the End Began - 4.5
    • Boston Manor - Welcome to the Neighbourhood - 5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • Pig Destroyer - Head Cage - 4.5/5
    • Ice Nine Kills - The Silver Scream - 3.5/5
    • Crossfaith - EX_MACHINA - 2/5
    • Survive Said The Prophet - s p a c e [s] - 3/5
    • Polyphia - New Levels New Devils - 3/5
    • Behemoth - I Loved You at Your Darkest - 4/5

2019

  • Double Review: Bring Me the Horizon - amo / FEVER 333 - Strength in Numb333rs
    • amo - 3.5/5
    • Strength in Numb333rs - 4.5/5
  • Astronoid - Astronoid - 4.5/5
  • Bob Mould - Sunshine Rock - 5/5
  • Weezer - Weezer (Black) - 2.5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • PUP - Morbid Stuff - 4.5/5
    • Devin Townsend - Empath - 4/5
    • Bad Suns - Mystic Truth - 3/5
    • Okilly Dokilly - Howdilly Twodilly - 1.5/5
    • Whitechapel - The Valley - 5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
  • Bad Religion - Age of Unreason - 4.5/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • Zebrahead - Brain Invaders - 3.5/5
    • Queensrÿche - The Verdict - 3.5/5
    • The Raven Age - Conspiracy - 4.5/5
    • Týr - Hel - 4/5
    • Venom Prison - Samsara - 4.5/5
  • Double Review: Stray Cats - 40 / L7 - Scatter the Rats
    • 40 - 4/5
    • Scatter the Rats - 2.5/5
  • Baroness - Gold & Grey - 4/5
  • Sum 41 - Order in Decline - 4/5
  • Slipknot - We Are Not Your Kind - 4.5/5
  • Moron Police - A Boat on the Sea - 5/5
  • Double Review: Frank Turner - No Man’s Land / Sleater-Kinney - The Center Won’t Hold
    • No Man’s Land - 3.5/5
    • The Center Won’t Hold - 4.5/5
  • Heilung - Futha - 3/5
  • tool - Fear Inoculum - 5/5
  • Sam Fender - Hypersonic Missiles - 4/5
  • Blink-182 - Nine - 4.5/5
  • Tegan And Sara - Hey, I’m Just Like You - 4/5
  • The Menzingers - Hello Exile - 4/5
  • Patreon Catch-Up:
    • Sleep Token - Sundowning - 2.5/5
    • Full of Hell - Weeping Choir - 3/5
    • Pterodactyl Problems - Esoteric Hobbies - 3/5
    • warmrain - Back Above the Clouds - 3/5
    • Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Onward to Zion - 3.5/5
    • Gloryhammer - Legends from Beyond the Galactic Terrorvortex - 3.5/5
    • Swallow the Sun - When a Shadow Is Forced into the Light - 3.5/5
    • The Devil Wears Prada - The Act - 4/5

2020

  • Poppy - I Disagree - 3.5/5
  • Algiers - There Is No Year - 4/5
  • Halsey - Manic - 4/5
  • Anti-Flag - 20/20 Vision - 3.5/5
  • Kesha - High Road - 3.5/5
  • Green Day - Father of All Motherfuckers - 3.5/5
  • Spanish Love Songs - Brave Faces Everyone - 5/5
  • Request Rundown:
    • Sons of Apollo - MMXX - 4/5
    • AJJ - Good Luck Everybody - 3/5
    • Raspberry Bulbs - Before The Age Of Mirrors - 3.5/5
    • Dubioza Kolektiv - #fakenews - 4/5
    • Sløtface - Sorry for the Late Reply - 4.5/5
  • Request Rundown:
    • Four Year Strong - Brain Pain - 4.5/5
    • American Television - Watch It Burn - 3.5/5
    • British Lion - The Burning - 2/5
    • Thy Catafalque - Naiv - 4/5
    • ÆGES - DRØMMEN - 4.5/5
  • Doom Eternal - 4/5
  • Pearl Jam - Gigaton - 4/5
  • Enter Shikari - Nothing Is True & Everything Is Possible - 4/5
  • Trivium - What the Dead Men Say - 5/5
  • Danzig - Danzig Sings Elvis - 1/5
  • Streets of Rage 4 - 3.5/5
  • Request Rundown:
  • Jason Isbell & The 400 Unit - Reunions - 4.5/5
    • Unofficial Review: Asking Alexandria - Like a House on Fire - 1/5
  • The 1975 - Notes on a Conditional Form - 3/5
  • Request Rundown:
    • Vader - Solitude in Madness - 3.5/5
    • Testament - Titans of Creation - 3.5/5
    • Joe Satriani - Shapeshifting - 3/5
    • SYRYN - Beyond the Depths - 2.5/5
    • Milk Teeth - Milk Teeth - 4/5
  • Run the Jewels - RTJ4 - 5/5
  • Lamb of God - Lamb of God - 4.5/5
  • Creeper - Sex, Death & the Infinite Void - 4/5

Unscripted Episodes:

  • Panic! at the Disco - Death of a Bachelor - 4.5/5
  • Bloc Party - Hymns - 1.5/5
  • Simple Plan - Taking One for the Team - 2/5
  • The 1975 - I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it - 4/5
  • Weezer - Weezer (White) - 4/5

    Countdown Videos 
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    Bad Album Covers 
Vol. 1:
  • Ken - By Request Only
  • Stryken - First Strike
  • Boned - Up at the Crack
  • Boxer - Below the Belt
  • Nelson - Because They Can
  • The Frivolous Five - Sour Cream & Other Delights
  • The Village People - Renaissance
  • Alix Dobkin feat. The Lesbian Power Authority - Living With Lesbians
  • Battleaxe - Burn This Town
  • Various Artists - My Pussy Belongs To Daddy
  • Butch Yelton and Upbound - Swing That Gospel Axe
  • Swamp Dogg - Rat On!
Vol. 2:
  • Warrior - The Battle Has Started
  • The McKeithens - The McKeithens
  • Dick Black and his Band - A Taste of Dick Black
  • Freddie Gage - All my friends are dead
  • Shut Up and Dance - Dance Before The Police Come!
  • Wasnatch - Front To Back
  • Orleans - Waking and Dreaming
  • Trick Daddy - www.thug.com
  • Svetlana Gruebbersolvik - My Lips Are For Blowing
  • Swamp Dogg - If I Ever Kiss It...He Can Kiss It Goodbye
  • Manowar - Anthology
Vol. 3:
  • Knorkator - Hasenchartbreaker
  • Oasis (no, not those guys) - Llego Para Quedarse
  • Dick Rivers - Dick a la "Mod"
  • Eden Perry & The Nashville Pops Orchestra - A Tribute To Elvis Presley
  • Misty Krackenbush - Misty Krackenbush Sings Your Gospel Hour Favourites
  • Country Church - Country Church
  • A foreign cassette bootleg of Phil Collins - No Jacket Required
  • Dennis Waterman - Waterman
  • Sir Adrian Boult - Gustav Holst: The Planets
  • Elder Marshall Taylor - Don't Miss The Great Snatch
  • Bob Freedman and Orchestra - Music To Strip By
  • Disc Charge - Boys Town Gang
Vol. 4 (this time with a specific focus on comercially-successful artists):Bad Album Covers LIVESSTREAM! (feat. Rocked, ARTV, & Il Neige)Vol. 5:
  • Mustard Plug - Big Daddy Multitude
  • Big Bear - Doin Thangs
  • Joe Stampley - Backslidin'
  • Dokken - Shadowlife
  • Big Kuntry King - My Turn To Eat
  • Alice Cooper - Raise Your Fist And Yell
  • Steve Mackay - Sometimes Like This I Talk
  • Bon Jovi - 100,000,000 Bon Jovi Fans Can't Be Wrong...: The Premiere Collection
  • Judas Priest - Jugulator (and a tiny aside at Demolition)
  • Robert Wotherspoon - Music To Massage Your Mate By
  • The Tragically Hip - Road Apples
  • Riot V - Armor of Light
  • Riot - Narita
  • Lady Gaga - Born This Way
  • Lordi - Babez For Breakfast
  • Six Magics - "The Secrets of an Island"
  • Juanes - Mi Sangre
  • Alex G - TRICK
  • Christmas Day with Colonel Sanders
  • The Offspring - Let The Bad Times Roll
  • Wolf - Wolf
  • Mike Love, Bruce Johnston & David Marks of the Beach Boys Salute NASCAR
  • Kevo Muney - Baby G.O.A.T.
  • Viper - You'll Cowards Don't Even Smoke Crack

     How To Get Into 
The Tragically Hip
  • Must Hear:
    • Fully Completely
    • Phantom Power
    • In Violet Light
    • Road Apples
    • Yer Favourites
  • Next Steps:
    • Trouble at the Henhouse
    • Music @ Work
    • Day for Night
    • Up To Here
  • Deep Digging:
    • In Between Evolution
    • World Container
    • Now for Plan A
    • Gordon Downie - Coke Machine Glow
    • We Are The Same
  • Proceed With Caution/Avoid
Rushtool (With the caveat that, in Crash's view, Tool have no bad albums)
  • Must Hear:
    • Aenima
    • Lateralus
  • Next Steps:
    • 10,000 Days
    • Undertow
  • Deep Digging:
    • Opiate
  • Proceed With Caution:
    • 72826
    • Salival
Pearl Jam
  • Must Listen:
    • Temple of the Dog
    • Ten
    • Versus
    • Vitalogy
  • Next Steps:
    • Lightning Bolt
    • Backspacer
    • Yield
    • Since it came out after the HTGI video, Crash ended up considering Gigaton for the lower half of "Next Steps", with the caveat of it being too soon for him to do so.
  • Deep Digging:
  • Proceed With Caution/Avoid:
    • Riot Act
    • No Code
Dark SoulsVan Halen
  • Must Hear:
    • Van Halen
    • Women and Children First
    • 1984
    • 5150
  • Next Steps:
    • Van Halen II
    • Fair Warning
    • For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge
  • Deep Digging:
    • OU812
    • Diver Down
  • Proceed With Caution:
    • Balance
    • A Different Kind of Truth
    • Van Halen III

     FIMI 
  • 2018
    • Skeletonwitch - Devouring Radiant Light - 4.5/5
      • "I was always very ho-hummy about Skeletonwitch, but with this album, I think I'm officially on board!"
    • The 1975 - ''A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships - 2.5/5
      • "Well, they did get rid of most of the wank, credit where it's due. Too bad they replace it with a bunch of low-tempo slosh and bad Radiohead impressions."
    • Screaming Females - All At Once - 3.5/5
      • "I kept forgetting this album came out. It's not bad or anything, but it's just so...what were we even talking about?"
    • Of Mice & Men - Defy - 4/5
      • "It's the only one of theirs that's held my interest for any amount of time."
    • Daughters - You Won't Get What You Want - 4/5
      • "Out of all the noise rock I listened to this year, yeah - this was easily the best thing the genre put out...but if you guys saw my Low or even my old Girl Band review, you know noise rock just isn't a genre I really fuck with."
    • Godsmack - When Legends Rise - 1.5/5
      • "Remember when Fantano reviewed this album and was all like, 'Oh god, it's so bad. Guys, it's so bad. It's like, one of the worst of the year. Bad album. Oh my god. How is it this bad?', and like [...] the rest of us were sitting back like...'Dude. Of course it sucks. It's Godsmack. The fuck were you expecting, man?'"
    • Black Veil Brides - Vale - 2/5
      • "This is Nickelback goth, not at all helped by the fact that their lead singer REALLY sounds like Chad Kroeger. No, I am not gonna drop that. It's weird."
    • As It Is - The Great Depression - 4/5
      • If you told me As It Is was gonna release a really dark and bleak record, I'd have probably given you a weird look at the outset, but the more I listen to this record, the more it kind of grows on me."
    • Cloud Nothings - Last Building Burning - 4/5
      • "What do you get when you stick an indie rock band in the same room as a Black Metal producer? You get one hell of a Cloud Nothings record, that's for damn sure."
    • The Wonder Years - Sister Cities - 3.5/5
      • "I didn't hate it, but man was this one forgettable."
    • The Longshot - Love Is For Losers - 2.5/5
      • "This feels like the forgotten Trilogy album that we somehow never got, only reconstructed somehow through weird and awkward means."
    • From Ashes to New - The Future - 2.5/5
      • "Says a lot about the band that improving so dramatically only elevated them from 'awful' to...'meh, forgettable'."
    • Parquet Courts - Wide Awake! - 5/5
      • "God dammit, every critic I know is just lining up to tongue this album's precious little balls...which means there isn't enough room at the table for ME to tongue its balls as well."
    • Tomb Mold - Manor of Infinite Forms - 4/5
      • "Aww man, this was some DURRTY metal. Do you like DURRTY metal? This was a DURRTY...DURRTY...DURRTY- ass DURRTY metal album!"
    • Breaking Benjamin - Ember - Benjamin/Benjamin
      • "It ham preif tuuube in mein dube till rime too! My floob! FLOOB! It ham ri...FLOOOOOT! It ripe doob."note 
    • Deafheaven - Ordinary Corrupt Human Love - 5/5
    • Stone Temple Pilots - Stone Temple Pilots (2018) - 1/5
      • "Just...fuck this album."
    • Various Artists - Songs That Saved My Life - 1.5/5
      • "I know this album was raising money for a good cause. It's a cause I actually wholeheartedly believe in, so good on 'em in that respect. But what the FUCK were some of these song choices?"
    • Haken - Vector - 4/5
      • "Haken is a very good band, but they really need to find themselves a good producer to bring out the best in them."
    • Halestorm - Vicious - 4/5
      • "This album was so sexy I think it got me pregnant."
    • Father John Misty - God's Favorite Customer - 4/5
    • Disturbed - Evolution - 1/5
      • "Pahahahahahaha! Oh, no! No! No! Hahahaha....just look at this! 'Hello man, may we alt-rock for you?' Ohhh...this album gargles my asshole, no!"
    • Imagine Dragons - Origins - 2/5
      • "I prefer the fuck out of this album over Evolve...doesn't mean it's any good."
    • Laura Jane Grace and the Devouring Monsters - Brought To Rot - 4/5
      • "This was a chill record. (beat) Except for "I Hate Chicago", god damn, but speaking as a midwesterner...yeah, 5 minutes in Chicago traffic will have you saying those exact same things in that song."
    • Amity Affliction - Misery - 1.5/5
      • "Some of you with a keen eye have already caught me throwing shade at this album."
    • Our Lady Peace - Somethingness - 1/5
      • "I have been itching to talk about Our Lady Peace for a long-ass time now. And it sucks that the first time that we will get to mention them is on this year's Worst of the Year. Just...ugh."
    • EDEN - vertigo - 4/5
      • "Literally, I only listened to this album out of spite, but man, I will be damned if this hasn't grown on me big time throughout the year."
    • AFI - The Missing Man - 3/5
      • "These guys have GOT to find a good producer to work with and FAST. Look, I know you guys love Jade, but get him out of the producer's chair before he creates real permanent lasting damage to you guys, ok?"
    • Trash Boat - Crown Shyness - 4/5
      • "Darker, kind of edgier, kind of alt-rockier, kind of pop-punk-ish music that I really personally enjoyed."
    • Like Pacific - In Spite of Me - 4/5
      • "Ummm...see...previous review?"
    • Lovebites - Clockwork Immortality - 4/5
      • "I am always on the lookout for good stuff from Japan, and this really caught my interest."
    • Mae - Multisensory Aesthetic Experience - 5/5
      • "God dammit! Mae! Mae, why would you do this to me? Why would you do this to me in DECEMBER, in the middle of catchups when I'm so busy and so stacked that I would never have the chance to talk about your first album in 11 years that totally wrecks and totally destroys and is so...so damn good and flying under the radar and just...(sigh)"
    • The Smashing Pumpkins - Shiny and Oh So Bright, Vol. 1 / LP: No Past. No Future. No Sun. - 2.5/5
      • "The problems with Smashing Pumpkins were never who wasn't in the band, it was who was in the band. And Billy has just been making a lot of boring shit lately, and this album is no exception."
    • Vein - Errorzone - 3.5/5
    • Jeff Rosenstock - Post- - 3/5
      • "He still hasn't impressed me yet. He still hasn't, like, won me yet."
    • Rolo Tomassi - Time Will Die And Love Will Bury It - 5/5
    • Rivers of Nihil - Where Owls Know My Name - 5/5
      • "Saxophone. More sax. Did not think that was gonna be the next metal trend."
    • Poets of the Fall - Ultraviolet - 3.5/5
      • "I am very very impressed with a lot of what I heard...wow, their vocalist, ummm...he is, uh...he's an acquired taste, I feel like."
    • Tribulation - Down Below - 4.5/5
      • I love how if you change the vocal style of this band, they basically just become AFI."
    • High On Fire - Electric Messiah - 5/5
      • "Yeah. Lemmy would've been proud."
    • Ezra Furman - Transangelic Exodus - 4/5
      • "Imagine if Neil Young had actually embraced the trends and sounds of the 80s instead of just spending them dicking over his record company and doing goofy shit. This might've been what that would've sounded like...and I dig it."
    • The Frights - Hypochondriac - 3.5/5
      • "Really, really catchy stuff. But...ok, is the lead singer alright? These lyrics are...this is almost Father John Misty levels of like, depressing and sad!"
    • Black Honey - Black Honey - 4/5
      • "If I called this band slutty, y'all would know I meant that as a compliment, right?"
    • Hopesfall - Arbiter - 4/5
      • "Is that a rabbit hole worth falling down?"
    • Kero Kero Bonito - Time 'n' Place - 4.5/5
      • "This album? This album is kawaii!"
    • Dance Gavin Dance - Artificial Selection - 3.5/5
      • "I do not get the anti-hype surrounding this album."
    • Sad Gravity - Sad Gravity - 3/5
      • "Amazingly chill. Maybe just a little too chill for my personal tastes."
    • Nothing But Thieves - What Did You Think When You Made Me This Way - 2.5/5
      • "Ehhhhhhhhh...I just wasn't feeling this one, I'm sorry."
    • The Beths - Future Me Hates Me - 3.5/5
      • "A bit repetitive in places and not the most original thing I've ever heard, but I definitely see the potential there."
    • Beartooth - Disease - 3/5
      • "Like with Screaming Females and The Wonder Years, I thought I was gonna like this album a lot more than I actually ended up liking it."
  • Q1 2019
    • Soilwork - Verkligheten - 3.5/5
      • "Soilwork are one of the most consistent mellow-death bands out there. But...I dunno, their consistency has always been their biggest problem."
    • Spidergawd - Spidergawd V - 4/5
      • "People who are into, like, 70s retro fuzzed-out throwback kinda-styled rock, yeah, definitely. This is a band you should be paying attention to."
    • Papa Roach - Who Do You Trust? - 1.5/5
      • "You know one thing that's totally helped make 2019 a little better than 2018 in terms of music so far? There haven't been nearly, nearly as many bands that have succumbed to the Imagine Dragon like there were last year. (beat) Yeah, Papa Roach didn't get the memo."
    • Kongos - 1929 Pt. 1 - 3/5
      • "It's a very clean-sounding album. But...I dunno, the raw music, the instrumentation, the actual composition, the actual performances...they just...weren't doing a lot for me. It's ok, it's not horrid by any means, but if this is 1929 Part 1, I don't think I necessarily need a Part 2, I'm just saying."
    • Better Oblivion Community Center - Better Oblivion Community Center - 4/5
      • "This is probably the closest thing we're ever gonna get to a new Bright Eyes album...and I am not even gonna start complaining about that."
    • FIDLAR - Almost Free - 2.5/5
      • "I've just never been a huge fan of these guys and...they haven't necessarily gotten better with age. Not an offensive album by any means. [...] But...I dunno, it's not my thing."
    • Rival Sons - Feral Roots - 4.5/5
      • "Talk about another band doing the retro throwback thing very well."
    • Within Temptation - Resist - 3.5/5
      • "From the pleb's point of view, there wasn't anything particularly wrong with this record. It wasn't as bad as I've been hearing from some people, but...it didn't make me, like, jump for joy or anything. It's ok."
    • Girlpool - What Chaos Is Imaginary - 3/5
      • "There is something I dig about their ultra-chill, super-serene kind of quietly capable brand of indie rock, but I'd say it's almost too ultra-chill. This thing almost put me to sleep."
    • Soen - Lotus - 3.5/5
      • "I do enjoy Soen's particular kind of like 'jazzy' progressiveness. [...] It is something very unique. But on the same coin, it's also something I just gotta be in a certain kind of mood for."
    • Badflower - OK, I'm Sick - 3.5/5
      • "It's ok, it's just not masterclass by any means, and there are some lyrics on this thing that are...I get what they're going for, but some of this stuff is a little cringe, just like a little bit. This is obviously a band that has some growing to do, but I definitely see the potential on display here."
    • Puppy - The Goat - 4.5/5
      • "It's like these guys are trying to recreate the first Black Sabbath album through the lens of blink-182. [...] Also they have the best name ever, I love puppies! Puppies fucking rule! Fuck my show, here's a solid minute of puppies!"
    • A solid minute of puppies
      • "Puppies fucking rule."
    • Beirut - Gallipoli - 4.5/5
      • "Ok, asking me to review a Beirut album in 3-5 sentences...that's just not gonna happen. But I did really enjoy the new Beirut album."
    • Dream Theater - Distance Over Time - 3/5
      • "It's nice to have a Dream Theater album that isn't two hours fucking long for a change, and some of the little toe-touches into Djent and some more modern trends [...] I wasn't feeling those necessarily, but not to any huge dismay."
    • Cane Hill - Kill The Sun - 4/5
      • "Was I the only one getting Jar Of Flies vibes off of this?"
    • Calling All Captains - Nothing Grows Here - 4/5
      • "It's only an EP, and a very short one at that, but based on what I heard from this, I would be very excited to hear a full-length out of these guys."
    • Hozier - Wasteland, Baby! - 3/5
    • While She Sleeps - So What? - 4/5
      • "It doesn't do much new even for them necessarily, but it's a solid outing. I could pit to this."
    • In Flames - I, The Mask - 2.5/5
      • "I will say this much - this is probably the best album we've gotten out of this era of In Flames. That having been said...yeah, it's still very much a 'this era' of In Flames, it's not good."
    • Sundara Karma - Ulfila's Alphabet - 5/5
      • "Aw, man! Oh, these guys! They release this album the same day as The Black Album. I so would've loved to talk about that instead of Black. Argh!"
    • Marianas Trench - Phantoms - 5/5
      • "No, it's not as good as Astoria, but not a lot of things are."
    • Potty Mouth - Snafu - 4.5/5
      • "This band is like if Dollskin was fronted by Liz Phair and trying to make Sleater-Kinney sound like a pop punk act. I know that sounds fucking banana-bonkers, but people, trust me on this one. If you happen to care for any of the artists in that clumsy-ass analogy of mine, check this out. You will get something very good out of it."
    • The Japanese House - Good at Falling - 4.5/5
      • "This is not an album to sleep on even if it might put you to sleep."
    • Children of Bodom - Hexed - 3.5/5
      • "There is not much I can say about this album that couldn't be said about their last two or even three albums, really. It's a bit samey, yeah, but like with Soilwork and Spidergawd, it's a problem I particularly like, so...eh."
    • Foals - Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost (Part 1) - 3/5
      • "It might be a case of 'Not-My-Thing-itis" here, but...I just didn't feel like there was a lot of interesting stuff going on here."
    • A Bunch of Shrieking Shitheadsnote  - Who Caresnote  - 1/5
      • "Did you even know Attila released an album this year? Good. You didn't miss a goddamn thing. Fuck this shitty band for twats."
    • Demon Hunter - War & Peace - 2/5
      • "30-40 minutes of Demon Hunter, I can handle, it's ok. 100 minutes of Demon Hunter, though, that's where I draw the motherfucking line. Like...there is no reason for these guys to be releasing a double album, they are not interesting enough to be releasing double albums. Don't @ me, this was a chore to slog through, especially in one sitting."
    • Moon Tooth - Crux - 4.5/5
    • Gary Clarke Jr - This Land - 4/5
      • "It's just one of those albums that's got a lot to say and says it in a very beautiful and well-packaged manner."
    • SUNDAYS- Wiaca - 4/5
      • "For those of you that are in like a Frightened Rabbit or...you know, kind of a modern folksy kinda vibe, yeah man. This'll scratch that itch."
    • Simple Creatures - Strange Love - 4/5
      • "So those of you that hated the poppier production of the last Blink album will more than likely hate this album too [...] But speaking as that weirdo that actually liked California, I kinda dug this."
    • Jinjer - Micro - 3/5
      • "There was a lot to admire here, though they have like a Nu-Metal sort of colour to their sound. [...] It's nice, it's well-executed, it just ain't my thing."
    • Nanami Ozone - NO - 3/5
    • Busted - Half Way There - 2/5
    • Rhapsody of Fire - The Eighth Mountain - 4/5
      • "Ok, using a posthumous sample of the late Christopher Lee as the closing track to your album is a dirty rotten trick. That got right under my heart and it tore it to pieces! Fuck, I miss Christopher Lee, don't you?"
    • Switchfoot - Native Tongue - 1.5/5
      • "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh...Imagine Dragon. Like, I hate to say that, because once upon a time, I was a Switchfoot defender, I love The Beautiful Letdown. But man. I'd say ever since around Vice Versus, maybe even sooner than that, Switchfoot became a band that just chases trends, basically."
    • Le Butcherettes - bi/MENTAL - 4.5/5
      • "Any of you that are, like, say, into The Screaming Females need to be listening to this band like yesterday."
    • Wintersleep - In The Land Of - 4/5
      • "It seems like this is a band that's chilled out a lot over the years."
    • I Prevail - Trauma - 3/5
      • "There are a lot of things I like about this band. [...] But this band, at least with this album, they...I won't say "Imagine Dragoned" necessarily, but at least with this album they implemented a lot of, like, the worst elements of things going on in pop."
    • The Lemonheads - Varshons II - 2/5
      • "This is the first Lemonheads record we've gotten in 10 years. And it's a Cover Album. And on top of that, the album we got 10 years ago was also a cover album. I haven't admittedly listened to a lot of Lemonheads since about, like, 1993-1995 since Julianna Hatfield was in the group. It's A Shame About Ray is great, but...um...it's a shame about this album."
  • Q2 2019
    • Battle Beast - No More Hollywood Endings - 4/5
      • "I liked this album, I promise you I did, but...I'd be lying if I said I liked it more than Bringer of Pain from last year."
    • Cokie The Clown - You're Welcome - 1/5
      • "It's like if Fat Mike swallowed an entire dump truck of Xanax and Ambien, then tried to write the script to a Lars von Trier film, and then tried to make a musical out of that same script. And it's all about hobo clowns."
    • black midi - Schlagenheim - 4.5/5
      • "This record is like if David Byrne grew up as millennial and were influenced by a bunch of weird shit like Death Grips, JPEGMAFIA, clipping., Girl Band...it's a hot fuckin' mess of a record...and I think I fuckin' love it."
    • Frank Carter & The Rattlesnakes - End of Suffering - 3/5
      • "It's fine for what it is, but...why? Help me understand why this is the thing?"
    • Thank You, Scientist - Terraformer - 5/5
      • "See? I don't hate every album for being too long!"
    • Remo Drive - Natural, Everyday Degradation - 2/5
      • "I barely even realized this thing came out, nobody was knocking at my door about this thing."
    • Spirit Adrift - Divided by Darkness - 4/5
      • "If this is on your Best of the Year list, I feel that. 'cause this is a damn solid record."
    • Ithaca - The Language of Injury - 5/5
      • "Remember when I talked about Venom Prison earlier in the year? Imagine if that band were more of a hardcore, almost punkish, kinda Norma Jean-ass kinda slam fiesta."
    • Mannequin Pussy - Patience - 5/5
      • "It's almost as if like the catchiness of something like Diet Cig blended with the sort of snot factor of a band like Doll Skin."
    • Doll Skin - Love is Dead and We Killed Her - 4/5
      • "Doll Skin presented another really good album for us here, though...it's a shame it doesn't sound better."
    • Otoboke Beaver - ITEKOMA HITS - 4.5/5
      • "Yeah, it may be a little on-brand for me, but guys. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times - my name is Crash Thompson, and I will forever be on my anime bullshit."
    • Black Pumas - Black Pumas - 4/5
      • "A psychedelic soul record with just the right touch of Texas-style blues and R&B thrown in there for good measure."
    • Blood Stain Child - Amateras - 4/5
      • "This record might be a bit of a curveball if you're like me, say, and you're used to all their stuff post-Epsilon, but I mean...hey, Blood Stain Child can still throw down with the best of them."
    • Dream Tröll - Second To None - 4/5
      • "This album is just silly as hell and the production behind it is hot ass, like, really amateurish-style shit here...but I'd be lying if I didn't say I wasn't charmed by these guys."
    • Tomb Mold - Planetary Clairvoyance - 4/5
    • Scott Stapp - The Space Between the Shadows - 1/5
      • "I expected to be bored by a Scott Stapp album. I didn't expect to be like, full-blown disgusted."
    • Drab Majesty - Modern Mirror - 4.5/5
      • "It's very retro, it feels ripped straight out of the 80s, but it's like a weird megalomaniacal clashing of bands like The Cure and Echo & the Bunnymen and Duran Duran, all kind of mixed up into a blender."
    • AJR - Neotheater - 1/5
    • The Raconteurs - Help Us Stronger - 3.5/5
      • "It's fine, it's ok. I generally dug it. I like it better than that last Jack White solo album. (boos) Keep booing me, it only makes my opinions worse!"
    • Lil Nas X - 7 - 4/5
      • "I enjoyed it! I mean, I'm happy for the kid, the kid seems nice!"
    • Two Door Cinema Club - False Alarm - 3.5/5
      • "It sounds a lot like every other Two Door Cinema Club record I've tried, but again, not bad for what it is."
    • Callous Daoboys - Die on Mars - 4/5
      • "Chaotic as hell metalcore math-rock with an electric violinist in tow? So this band is basically what happens when Yellowcard gets possessed by the devil and tries to do an iwrestledabearonce impression? I'm down."
    • Spiritbox - Singles Collection - 4/5
      • "This was a nice little EP...even if this thing's existence pretty much confirms that iwrestledabearonce...aww...is probably dead. That's a shame."
    • Kyle Craft - Showboat Honey - 4.5/5
      • "If this is the worst album Kyle Craft can put out, y'know, we don't have to worry about shit."
    • 3Teeth - Metawar - 3.5/5
    • Lingua Ignota - Caligula - 4.5/5
      • "Ummm...dark. Like...extremely dark. Maybe one of the darkest records I've ever had to review for this show."
    • Belzebubs - Pantheon of the Nightside Gods - 3.5/5
      • "I guess if we just can't get another Dethklok album, I'll take what I can get here."
    • My Diligence - Sun Rose - 3.5/5
    • Majestica - Above The Sky - 3/5
      • "This is cheese metal. Do you know how cheesy this metal is? It closes with a cover of the Spaceballs theme song."
    • Copeland - Blushing - 4.5/5
      • "They're electronic, atmospheric and very very experimental these days. Think if, like, Mae got together with Radiohead in that era post-Amnesiac, pre-King of Limbs."
    • METZ - Automat - 2.5/5
      • "Nope. Guys, you know how I usually do with noise rock that's this chaotic and this crazy. This is not black midi, this is just chaos."
    • $uicideboy$ x Travis Barker - Live Fast Die Whenever - 2.5/5
      • "So Travis Barker and Monkey from Korn got together with a random horrorcore group and made an EP? Something like this does feel a tad bit out of my jurisdiction, admittedly, but....I mean...who was asking for this?"
    • Defeater - Defeater - 4.5/5
      • "It's weirdly story-driven and it has a heavy narrative focus, but unlike something like say, Coheed and Cambria, you can actually make sense of what's going on in the story."
    • State Faults - Clairvoyant - 3/5
      • "This would get a much higher rating out of me, but as it stands...ugh, again, it's always a shame when good musicians get hampered by terrible production."
    • The Black Keys - Let's Rock - 2.5/5
      • "Nope, still bored. Yeah, go ahead, boo me. Boo me all you want. I'm done with this band."
    • Reason|Define - In Memory - 3.5/5
      • "I didn't know an all-girl Beartooth was something I needed in my life, but I dug this. Sure."
    • Charly Bliss - Young Enough - 4/5
      • "Their lead singer is a total chipmunk."
    • Employed To Serve - Eternal Forward Motion - 4/5
      • "If you're into stuff like Code Orange, Vein, Jesus Piece, that really grizzly, gravelly-ass hardcore, this is gonna be right up your alley."
    • Free Throw - What's Past is Prologue - 3.5/5
      • "A lot of good stuff musically on this, though...yeah, I will admit, this is pretty depressing, even for like an emo record."
    • Ten Foot Pole - Escalating Quickly - 3/5
      • "They've had a long and illustrious career and they have a hell of a pedigree behind them. Why haven't I heard a ton of their stuff? Why do I not listen to these guys so often? Why do they not stick out in my head in any real fashion? Oh. Oh, that's right. They're, uh...not very good."
    • The Coolies - Uh Oh! It's...The Coolies - 3.5/5
      • "100% of the proceeds towards this record are going towards ALS research, so if that sounds like something that's right up your alley...hey, the money's going to a good cause, so...why not?"
  • Q3 2019
    • MUNA - Saves The World - 5/5
    • Strung Out - Songs of Armor and Devotion - 4.5/5
      • "Even if it's not the most innovative thing out there, this is another really solid one."
    • Killswitch Engage - Atonement - 4/5
      • "While I still wouldn't say the 'New Jesse' era of Killswitch is my favourite era of Killswitch by any stretch of the imagination, damn did Killswitch actually really bring it on this one. This is probably the best album they've put out since Howard Jones left the band several years ago."
    • Sleeping With Sirens - How It Feels To Be Lost - 3.5/5
      • "It was ok, but Sleeping With Sirens didn't need an ok album, they needed a great one, and...it's not great."
    • Puddle of Mudd - Welcome to Galvania - 1/5
      • "It feels so weird to say this about a band that's technically been in existence since 1991, but after listening to this record, the number one thing I can say about it is, 'amateurish'."
    • Off With Their Heads - Be Good - 4/5
      • "Ok, those of you that like acts like Hot Water Music or Red City Radio, you know, those sort of punk bands that have kinda like a proto-country edge with the way they write melodies and stuff, and vocalists that REALLY HAVE KINDA THAT GRAVEL-THROATED SORT OF ROUGH SINGING LEATHER-VOICED EEEHHHHHHHHH- Ok, that? Off With Their Heads? Right up your alley, dude."
    • Pixies - Beneath the Eyrie - 2.5/5
      • "On the second record it started to sound like New Pixies was starting to run out of ideas. On this, it sounds like they really don't have any left. I think we've heard everything we need to hear out of this Pixies resurrection."
    • Laura Imbruglia - Scared of You - 4.5/5
      • "Did y'all know that Natalie had a baby sister? Did you know that she makes really kick-ass indie rock with a socially-conscious edge and really quirky, cute, but thoughtful lyrics? Did you know she kicks major ass at it too?"
    • Of Mice & Men - EARTHANDSKY - 3/5
      • "I would still say it's better than the other Mice & Men records I've heard outside of Defy [...] but man, I just...I don't care for this band when they're doing that sound, man."
    • Lagwagon - Railer - 3/5
      • "It's another Lagwagon. However you feel about Lagwagon is probably gonna swing your opinions one way or another on that. Though I do have to admit I am not a fan of how raspy Joey Cape's voice has gotten over the years. He sounds really weak, he sounds like your grandma."
    • The S.L.P - The S.L.P - 3.5/5
      • "It sounds like Kasabian if it was fed through one too many synthesizers and a midlife crisis."
    • Wormwitch - Heaven That Dwells Within - 4/5
      • "If you're feeling spoopy, check it out. 'tis the season, eh!"
    • Titus Andronicus - An Obelisk - 4/5
      • "This album feels a lot more tight, a lot more focussed, way less sloppy...again, it's not the most innovative Titus Andronicus record [...] but that's not a bad thing."
    • Devourment - Obscene Majesty - 3.5/5
    • Shadow Of Intent - Melancholy - 3.5/5
      • "This band is kinda what you'd get if you took a symphonic metal band and added just the slightest dash of The Black Dahlia Murder."
    • King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard - Infest the Rats' Nest - 4/5
      • "This is like if...Thrash Metal had been invented in the early 70s instead of the early 80s. It's got this weird proto-birth of metal sound to it, only it's like, way faster and crazier than music of that stripe would've sounded like back in its day."
    • The Hu - The Gereg - 3/5
      • "If you were one of those people that was really into Heilung when I reviewed them earlier in the year, but you're looking for something a little more Genghis Khan as opposed to Erik The Red, I can recommend this, sure."
    • Anteros - When We Land - 3.5/5
      • "This band kinda reminds me of Blondie crossed with the earlier records from Neon Trees with a dash of The Cardigans kinda thrown in there for good measure."
    • DragonForce - Extreme Power Metal - 2.5/5
      • "In case you were wondering if Dragonforce stopped being silly buggers...don't worry, they haven't. I look forward to hearnig these songs played awfully live."
    • Kublai Khan TX - Absolute - 3.5/5
      • "If you catch these guys opening for like, Vein or Code Orange or something, yeah man. Pick those tickets up."
    • Car Bomb - Mordial - 4/5
      • "Mathcore that's practically, like...full metal in moments. There's gotta be a better term for that kinda stuff than 'mathcore', right?"
    • Kkett - Kketterwaul - 3/5
    • The Number Twelve Looks Like You - Wild Gods - 3.5/5
    • Korn - The Nothing - 3/5
      • "This isn't my thing, people, I'm sorry. I have enough foresight to know that for a Korn record, this is certainly a better Korn record, this is a more elevated Korn record. This is one of the best Korn records we've gotten in a good long while, but...it's still a Korn record and I don't like Korn."
    • Bon Iver - i,i - 3/5
      • "It's interesting, I will say it's interesting. But I dunno, this didn't exactly change my mind on them or anything."
    • Mind Key - MKIII. Aliens in Wonderland - 3.5/5
      • "It a little cheesy in places, but like...not in an unpleasant way. [...] It's got charm to it. There's stuff about this record I definitely enjoyed. I mean, the album cover has the Cheshire Cat in a goddamn spacesuit. I know my audience is dorky enough to respect that kind of reference."
    • Carnifex - World War X - 3.5/5
      • "I've always enjoyed this particularly heavy style of 'core, so...yeah, I'm down with the new Carnifex."
    • Roam - Smile Wide - 2.5/5
      • "For all the great British pop punk we've gotten over the last 5-6 years [...] the new Roam should be like, right up my alley. But man, I just...wasn't feeling this record."
    • Starset - Divisions - 3/5
      • "It's not the worst stuff in the world, but I dunno man, there's just nothing on here that gives me a reason to care."
    • Unprocessed - Artificial Void - 4/5
      • "Overall, I'd say a very strong record from a band I wasn't aware of until I listened to them for this FIMI, so...good stuff. I will throw out one thing, though - "Unprocessed" is a TERRIBLE name for a band. Really? "Unprocessed"? Y'all decided that was what you were gonna call yourselves? You sound like a health food product, not a djent-metal band, guys."
    • Sturgill Simpson - Sound & Fury - 4.5/5
      • "This is country?! This? This is country, y'all are serious about this? [...] I'll tell you one thing, people. If more country sounded like this, my ass would be paying way closer attention to it!"
    • Tori Kelly - Inspired By True Events - 4/5
      • "She's a powerhouse vocalist and she has a very solid grip on melody. I really did enjoy this record."
    • All Your Sisters - Trust Ruins - 3.5/5
      • "Post-Punk of that super-duper dark variety. These guys worship at the altar of stuff like Joy Division and Bauhaus and like, Sisters of Mercy...Darkwave with a capital DARK."
    • Sugar Ray - Little Yachty - 2.5/5
      • "I'm seeing this record pop up on a lot of people's "Worst of 2019" candidates and whatnot, and y'all...it's not THAT bad."
    • Ezra Furman - Twelve Nudes - 4/5
      • "Ezra Furman is, like, right on the cusp of something brilliant. Like, this guy is about to release probably the best record of his career. If he can keep this momentum going, I could imagine either the next record or the record after that potentially just being a fuckin' knockout!"
    • Knocked Loose - A Different Shade of Blue - 3.5/5
      • "These guys know how to deliver a brutal as hell metalcore beat, I appreciate that. Their vocalist, though...he's a little on like, the high pitched side, his voice is like, really screechy and kind of on the higher register of things."
    • Brutus - Nest - 4.5/5
      • "Holy shit. I didn't think it was possible for post-rock to get this heavy and...still be post-rock."
    • Northlane - Alien - 3.5/5
      • "I did like this record. Honestly, I really did, I enjoyed this. I might've enjoyed their last album more, though."
    • Bad Luck Party - Miss June - 4.5/5
      • "This is that kinda biting sorta feminist punk that really scratches a particular itch with me. Like...this feels like Le Tigre mixed with pieces of Wolf Alice and kinda trying to do a more melodious parts of Sonic Youth kinda thing, it's interesting."
    • Inclination - When Fear Turns To Confidence - 3/5
      • "Straight-edge hardcore that almost leans like, full metalcore in places."
    • SKYND - Chapter 2 - 2/5
      • "I get what they're going for here, and there is an audience for this kind of music, but wow. I am very much not it. I was not feeling this."
    • Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising - 4.5/5
    • Bayonne - Drastic Measures - 4.5/5
      • "Absolutely dreamy and blissful ambient piano pop from Roger Sellers' new Bayonne album."
    • Prince Daddy & The Hyena - Cosmic Thrill Seekers - 4/5
      • "Ironically enough, I got the chance to see these guys live last year when they were touring and opening up for Remo Drive. And also ironically enough, this album is what I wish the new Remo Drive sounded like."
  • Q4 2019
    • that dog. - Old LP - 5/5
      • "Man, I've got a lot to say about this record, and believe me, we will talk about this one more when it hits my best of the year list. Yeah, people, this one is just that good, please check it out, this is...this is that good alternative stuff, at least for old fossils like me."
    • Norma Jean - All Hail - 4/5
      • "Norma Jean: still kicking ass, even if it's not my favorite band, just, you gotta respect the Norma Jean here."
    • Refused - War Music - 4.5/5
      • "I admit I enjoyed Freedom a little bit more; that album had way more, like, experimentation, and it had an overall more eclectic sound going for it, there was a lot more going on in that record, but as this stands, it's just a weighty-ass collection of hard fuckin' jams that go all the way out, and...yeah, man! I mean, I can understand wanting to get more out of a Refused record, but what we got here still rules! I'm really looking forward to hearing this shit on the Cyberpunk 2077, uh...Cyberpunk 2077–whatever that game is called that's coming up..."
    • McCafferty - The House with No Doorbell - 3.5/5
      • "This record is also very dark, very depressive, and man, I want to enjoy this record, I really do, but all I can think of while listening to this is, 'Is Nick okay?' Like, Nick, are you okay, dude? I sincerely hope you're alright, my man. Like, the music is still very solid, but...you take care of you, man. I mean, all this rockstar shit, all this 'my bullshit,' all of it, just, I don't know, man, fuck all that shit, you take care of you, okay? Like, the music's good, but your health is what's important here, dude, I hope you're doing alright."
    • Thornhill - The Dark Pool - 3.5/5
      • "I've had to listen to so much metalcore in the past two to three years, like, so, so much metalcore, people, oh my god, so maybe it's just all this metalcore just blending together at this point, but man...as much as I want to like this album, and as much as I do like this album...I don't love it. Still, good effort. Very good effort. If you're into metalcore and haven't been burned out silly from it like I have this year, give it a shot."
    • Saint Asonia - Flawed Design - 2.5/5
      • "You know what, I'll say this much: Saint Asonia is probably head and shoulders above...that husk of a thing calling itself Three Days Grace these days...that doesn't mean this project is necessarily...good...it just kinda sounds like a less energetic Three Days Grace, frankly. It's super butt-rocky, exceptionally bland, and I have almost nothing else to say about this record. (shrugs) Whatevs."
    • Bad Wolves - N.A.T.I.O.N. - 4/5
      • "Hey, good on Bad Wolves. If you guys wanna pick up that torch that Five Finger has totally dropped in recent years, I'm all about that."
    • Jinjer - Macro - 3.5/5
      • "I see potential with this band. They still have a few corners to iron out, but man, they are gettin' there. Just please, please, someone get these guys with a producer that can...do something with them. Oh, those are always the more tragic albums, you know? They could be good, but it's the little shit that keeps them from being great."
    • Issues - Beautiful Oblivion - 2/5
      • "I literally just listened to this to see what all the fuss was about, and you know, sometimes albums that are unusual or different or take a different path can get unfairly judged and maligned and hate mobbed by the crowd, but man, sometimes...sometimes that angry mob is right. Ouch. Big ouch."
    • Fire from the Gods - American Sun - 4.5/5
      • "Man, these guys are just continuing to deliver some just absolutely pounding, like, absolutely thought-provoking, some real good shit. Like, please, for the love of God, now that Rage Against the Machine is coming back, get these guys opening for them on a tour with like, FEVER 333, damn!"
    • Hollywood Vampires - Rise - 1.5/5
      • "Who the hell is this for?"
    • Gang of Four - Happy Now - 1.5/5
      • "Just 'cause you're too scared you don't have the clout to pull a solo career doesn't mean you have to do this to Gang of Four's good name, just...ugh."
    • Coldplay - Everyday Life - 3/5
      • "Hands up, who've totally forgot about this record? Like, this record came out like...a month, two months ago, like, has it even been a month ago? I don't know. How many of you even remember this came out? Anyone? Yeah, that's what I thought, it's not much, people. Watch it still get nominated for, like, 500 Grammys anyway, uh, whatevs. I mean, I like Coldplay, but this album is whatevs."
    • Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? - 4.5/5
      • "Look, this record really is as awesome as everyone says it is, and I want to give it a fair chance too, so, uh...bam. You think I'm being cheeky now? You should see me in a crown.
    • BROCKHAMPTON - GINGER - 4.5/5
      • "BROCKHAMPTON is a group that can get you into hip-hop. I say give it a chance. If you're, like, one of the twelve people who hasn't already—like I say, I'm a pleb when it comes to hip-hop, but, like, I know what I like, and I likes me the Brock. That's that good shit."
    • Band-Maid - Conqueror - 4/5
      • "I don't know, maybe I'm just being picky. I felt like this album could've used a little more kick-ass, but it's still Band-Maid, it still rocks, it still rules."
    • Cattle Decapitation - Death Atlas - 4.5/5
      • "You know, ever since I became a vegetarian, I have a whole new appreciation for this band. VEGAN DEATH!!!"
    • Fleshgod Apocalypse - Veleno - 3.5/5
      • "It's just, like, a little bit lesser than your usual Fleshgod outputs, I wasn't finding myself nearly as drawn to this one as I was to King and some of their past stuff I've checked out, um...still good. I don't know, this is just a tough year to compete to, so I dunno, if you're into Fleshgod, yeah, this is worth your time."
    • Alter Bridge - Walk the Sky - 4/5
      • "It's not something that I think is necessarily for everyone, but hey, it's another solid as fuck Alter Bridge record for a solid as fuck year, and if you're down with that, hell yeah, I can recommend this. Alter Bridge are just out there doing the good shit, you know? It may not even be the best shit of the year, but man, they're doing the good shit. I love them for it."
    • coldrain - THE SIDE EFFECTS - 3.5/5
      • "Look at all the other Japanese bands I've covered on this show over the years; say what you want to about some of them, but they all have their own thing that makes them stand out in one way or another; if it's either a sound or just something as simple as a gimmick, a Japanese band, you know kinda what to look out for, and coldrain...I dunno, they just don't do anything that makes them really stick out. I mean, especially now that all their lyrics are in English, it would be tricky to tell these guys apart from a lot of other metalcore acts out there. They don't have that thing that makes them really, really unique, at least not in my ears necessarily, and again, they are, like, another metalcore band, and like I said, people, I'm starting to burn out a little on metalcore, you know? So, again, not bad, not bad at all, but um...it is what it is, you know?"
    • Tiny Moving Parts - breathe - 4.5/5
      • "Frankly, it's hard for a mathcore record to stand out as anything unique or interesting in these oversaturated times, like, holy shit. This record, though...it still sticks out in some very, very good ways, like god damn, even though I'm starting to burn out on mathcore, Tiny Moving Parts...they're just so good at this. Mmm."
    • Alase - Vastaus - 3.5/5
      • "A nice mix of softer stuff and heavier melodies is appealing. It has its dips in places, though, and most of the lyrics are in Finnish, so stuff like that could be a barrier for some of you, but fans of stuff like Swallow the Sun, Pain of Salvation, stuff like that, I can recommend this, you know? Decent stuff. Maybe not stellar, but decent. I'm willing to go for decent."
    • DUMP HIM - Dykes To Watch Out For - 4/5
      • "I know I've got a fairly decent, like, trans and non-binary audience, like, those of you that are down with a poppy, energetic, punk as fuck vibe, y'all...These are some dykes to watch out for. That was—why did I make that joke? That was the stupidest joke I could've made."
    • Counterparts - Nothing Left to Love - 3.5/5
      • "I can recommend this, but only to those of you that are still really into metalcore. Again, this might just be more genre burnout speaking, but it's solid, if not, like, amazing or anything. Yeah, you know, a good effort. Good effort, nevertheless."
    • Stonefield - Bent - 3.5/5
      • "I feel like I've heard so many 1970s throwbacks here lately. That's starting to get kinda played out, isn't it? I mean, all these acts that crib from the 70s, can we pick a different decade to knock off here? I mean, if I hear another album that #SoundsLikeBlackSabbath, I'm gonna have a kvetch."
    • The Band CAMINO - tryhard - 5/5
      • "I'll say this much for The Band CAMINO: they arguably put out a better Switchfoot album than Switchfoot did this year. Like, this one snuck up on me, people, this was a very pleasant surprise."
    • Strong Bad - Trogdor!! the Board Game Rulebook Album - 4/5
      • "Look, as a huge Homestar Runner fan, I don't care that it's just a great big goof, I love this dumb little thing. Bigg Nife has a song on it! How can you not love this?"
    • Dirty Honey - self-titled EP - 2.5/5
      • "Remember how a few reviews ago where I said I wanted us to start ripping off a whole other era for these classic rock ripoffs? Here comes Dirty Honey with their sorta 80s hair metal, bluesier kinda shtick, and I'm listening to it, and I'm sitting here like, 'Eh...I guess I need to be careful what I wish for.' I mean, I wasn't feeling this, guys, I'm sorry."
    • Joey Cape - Let Me Know When You Give Up - 3.5/5
      • "It's still not fantastic or anything, but Joey's breathy, weathered kinda vocal style fits this more acoustically driven singer-songwriter style of music more than, like, the skate punk thing does, you know? Credit where it's due, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay."
    • Third Eye Blind - Screamer - 3/5
      • "You know, I may just have a big ol' rose-tinted nostalgia blindspot for these guys, but I still posit that Out of the Vein is one of the most underappreciated records by a major band to have ever been released. It's just a hidden treasure of an album, and I've always wanted to say that Third Eye Blind have the ability to make another album like that, but this...it ain't that. Hmm, I don't know, I mean it's fine, but..."
    • Galneryus - Into the Purgatory - 3.5/5
      • "Again, I just wish it had more identity. So many Japanese bands I listen to just scream Japan, this just screams, 'we wish we were Europe.'"
    • Gender Roles - PRANG - 4/5
      • "I might need to keep my eye close on these guys. I don't know if it's album of the year material, but it's solid, very solid stuff nonetheless."
    • beabadoobee - Space Cadet - 4/5
      • "Fans of Kero Kero Bonito and, like, earlier Poppy, I don't need to tell y'all you need to get in on this. You need to get in on this."
    • Leonard Cohen - Thanks for the Dance - 4.5/5
      • "God, I miss Leonard Cohen. What a hell of a note to go out on, people."
    • Psychedelic Porn Crumpets - And Now for the Whatchamacallit - 4/5
      • "This is very cool, very Australian-ass sounding rock. I am very, very much here for it. The name is goofy, but fuck, man, I can get down with this."
    • Jimmy Eat World - Surviving - 4/5
      • "I'm super stoked for these guys...but Integrity Blues was better, y'all. Is that a hot take? I feel like that might be a hot take, but I don't know. That album had more going for it than this. They're both solid records, but I think Integrity Blues had a bit more, I dunno, that had such better lyricism and God, the tone they were going for on that record was just so soulful and touching. This is still a solid as hell album, though, and you know, I get the hype behind it, like, Jimmy is still out there doing solid work, so...go, Jimmy, go!"
    • Dream State - Primrose Path - 3.5/5
      • "Oh no, this was that band that had that really awful cover of 'Crawling' on that Songs That Saved My Life compilation! Oh dear, what is this gonna sound like? (ONE ALBUM LATER...) Oh, okay, they sound so much better doing their own stuff than they do covers. Like, wow, okay, that's a big relief."
    • Friendly Fires - Inflorescent - 3.5/5
      • "I'd say give this a chance. It's funky and catchy, and I dunno, even though those aren't necessarily the most appealing genres, I still say give this a shot. There's some interesting stuff going on here."
    • Ivy Crown - Echo - 3/5
      • "Real talk, there is some definitive talent here, and this gets a recommendation if you can see past the rough edges, but man, like Jinjer, it sucks when good artists are held back by miserable production. Like, again, good stuff if you can look past some of the more superficial flaws."
    • SeeYouSpaceCowboy... - The Correlation Between Entrance and Exit Wounds - 3/5
      • "Okay, can y'all do me a solid in the upcoming year? Can we, like, request fewer of these bands? I mean, I get it, it's a popular genre, but I don't know, man. I've heard so many acts that sound just like this, and like, I promise you if you're thinking, 'well, the band I like does...' (vocalizing metalcore) 'my band does it better than others,' it probably doesn't! It probably doesn't, I'm telling you this just from the bottom of my heart. Like, I know, you think it does, but I have to listen to most of these bands, and God, so many of them just sound like each other, and like, if I have to say to another fucking album, 'if you like Code Orange, you'll probably like this' again in 2020, I'm gonna lose my shit, so...like, it's fine, nothing against the band, nothing against the album itself, but I am experiencing some major fuckin' burnout here, so...ugh...yeah, so much metalcore, so much (vocalizing metalcore)"
    • Purple Mountains - self-titled - 4.5/5
      • "It's not the easiest of listens. It's like a Father John Misty record in some respects, but I don't know if you're willing to tolerate the kind of heaviness of this record. Man, it's worth it, and you know, again, it's a nice note to...kinda end a legacy on, man. Rest in peace, Berman. Rest in peace, man."
    • Motionless In White - Disguise - 3/5
      • "You can do much worse than Motionless in White, but you can also do much better. Eh."
    • STUCK OUT HERE - Until We’re Each Someone Else - 4/5
      • "This kinda thing is definitely up my alley. It kinda reminds me of a more chilled-out version of The Lawrence Arms, if you can kinda picture that in your head. I dig it."
    • Backwater Drowning - Ruthless - 4/5
      • "These guys are apparently just starting to break. They don't even have a full album out yet, and you know, all I could think of while listening to this was, 'God, ooh, I wish the last Arch-Enemy album sounded this good.' Keep an ear to the ground on these guys, this is some good heavy shit."
    • Silversun Pickups - Widow's Weeds - 3/5
      • "Unless you're a super-fan, there's not really much going on on this album that you're missing out on. Fine, but don't sweat it."
    • Idle Hands - Mana - 3/5
      • "It's not terrible, but I think these guys come off as more goofy than they're probably intending to."
    • White Reaper - You Deserve Love - 3.5/5
      • It does nothing new, but what it does is pretty okay. I bet some of y'all get a kick out of this. This is one of the better throwbacks in the throwback-y genre—is that a thing? Can we, like, declare the whole notion of throwbacks as an entire genre unto itself? I dunno, that's a greater conversation than...throw the number up."
    • Lindsay Schoolcraft - Martyr - 3.5/5
      • Good stuff for people into, like, Evanescence, Nightwish, the more melodramatic goth set, if you're into stuff like that, this will totally be your bad. Outside of that, though, it's fine. If this is your kinda thing, it'll be your thing, but if not, I get it."
    • Tropical Fuck Storm - Braindrops - 4/5
      • "This band is maybe a little overhyped by some people, like, they're no King Gizzard. They aren't, but I can certainly respect what they're doing, it has a nice bizarre groove, and you know, it's weird, but it's a good kind of weird, and I can get behind that. I can get behind that. This is a decent weird groove."
    • Fen - The Dead Light - 4/5
      • "It can be a little meandering in places, but you know, it gets the job done. Very solid, all-around kinda atmospheric little black metal record, you know? Pretty decent."
    • Body of Light - Time To Kill - 4/5
  • Q1 2020
    • Echosmith - Lonely Generation - 3/5
      • "I don't know, like, after hearing this, like, I think it's safe to say that Echosmith is officially not a big goddamn deal anymore, but for what it is, I mean, you could do worse."
    • Selena Gomez - Rare - 2.5/5
      • "Again, it's not like, wretched or anything, but like...eh."
    • The World/Inferno Friendship Society - All Borders Are Porous To Cats - 4/5
      • "Okay, if you liked Dubioza Kolektiv from the last couple of videos back, definitely put this on your register too. This was some damn interesting stuff, I gotta say."
    • Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake - 2.5/5
      • "I don't know, again, I'm not the expert when it comes to Lil Uzi and stuff like this, I'll admit to that, but like, was the hype worth it? Again, I don't see what the hype was about. I really don't."
    • Wolf Parade - Thin Mind - 3/5
      • "This is...also fine. It has moments I enjoyed, it's not dreadful, but like, I don't know. There is just also nothing memorable about this, and I can almost guarantee you I will completely forget about this album by the time...I, uh...what was I talking about?"
    • Theory of a Deadman - Say Nothing - 1/5
      • "Look, people, I could go on and on and on about this record, and really, it doesn't even deserve it. It's such an abysmal fucking record, even for a band with such low expectations as Theory. This is fucking dreadful and I am positive I'll have more to say about it when it inevitably hits my worst of the year list, but, people, just, like...There's a song about Charlottesville on here because that is, what...these are the motherfuckers you wanna hear social commentary from? These knuckleheads? Just...ugh, people, if this thing doesn't make a high entry on my worst of the year list, we are in for a really rough year."
    • Meghan Trainor - Treat Myself - 2/5
      • "At least Meghan Trainor's other records aren't fucking abysmally boring, like...people, I'm sorry, but if this is the end of Meghan Trainor's career, this is the very last thing we hear from her, I am not gonna shed one single tear."
    • Destroyer - Have We Met - 4/5
      • "Not gonna be everyone's thing, but if you need something chill but mildly spooky to kinda help you study or work, you know, this will fill a slot for you, man. Very solid stuff."
    • Stone Temple Pilots - Perdida - 2.5/5
      • "Stone Temple Pilots, especially on this album, they sound tired and sleepy and old, and listening to this album makes me feel tired and sleepy and old, and...god."
    • Ozzy Osbourne - Ordinary Man - 3.5/5
      • "There's nothing wrong with this, it's worth picking up, especially because since this might be the last record from Oz, you know, I've seen people end on worse notes, so you know what, it's alright. It's pretty okay. I will admit it was fun watching some of the, like, old hat Ozzy fans lose their shit over the Post Malone collabs, oh my god, oh, that was fun seeing everybody get all up in arms, 'AH WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT ON MY OZZY RECORD? WAAH!!' (laughs) It sounds like they had fun, get over yourself!"
    • The Amity Affliction - Everybody Loves You...Once You Leave Them - 3/5
      • "(Bernie Sanders impression) I did not particularly care for the latest album from the Amity Affliction. While it shows drastic improvements upon their last record, Misery, I feel as if though they have taken a safe bet and have not grown or developed in any particular fashion, but rather, they've simply gravitated back to old trends to help repair their image from their previously unsuccessful record. (in normal voice) I concur with the senator from Vermont."
    • EDEN - no future - 3/5
      • "It's not horrible, but man, I was not impressed at all by this and that's a shame."
    • Five Finger Death Punch - F8 - 2/5 (and binned)
      • "Look, people, I'm just over this band, I am done. Talking about them brings me no joy and I'm sure the one or two of you that are watching this who still can stomach this hot fucking garbage get no joy out of watching me wipe my ass with your precious senpais' face, so I am talking about this album only to introduce a new concept to you people: the bin. The bin is a place for artists who I will never talk about again. Ever. Period. There are already a few artists we've kind of informally put in the bin over the yearsnote , but you know what, now I'm just formally introducing it to the show as a concept. You know, when a band gets to the point where I just literally do not care. Either I do not care or I do not want to talk about them in any goddamn capacity, when I am just completely done with a band, they get put in the bin. Look, people, Five Finger Death Punch may get marginally better or worse over the years, but they're not gonna come back and make OK Computer, so you know what, I'm sick of fucking talking about them. I'm sick of being Mr. Angry-Rah-Rah every time they fart out another bit of CHUD music for fuckboys and ass twats, so you know what? They go in the bin!"
    • Loathe - I Let It In And It Took Everything - 4.5/5
      • "It took everything, but as far as I'm concerned, they can take as much as it goddamn well pleases. Good stuff."
    • Justin Bieber - Changes - 2/5
      • "Again, this is one of those artists where I'm kinda out of my scope here, but why does Justin Bieber need to be a thing? Do we need Justin Bieber anymore, 'cause it really feels like we don't need Justin Bieber anymore, like, again, he's not one of those artists that's like...I don't hate him, but man, if he just went away forever, I so would not shed a tear. Especially after 'Yummy,' okay, like, I'm not a hater hater, but 'Yummy' is a pile of my dick."
    • Megan Thee Stallion - SUGA - 3.5/5
      • "You know, if she ever does drop a full-length record, I will be intrigued as hell to see how that turns out, but so far, even though this isn't bad at all, like, there are some genuinely baller tracks on it, but she's not there yet. Her full potential has not been tapped, and man, I'm still intrigued to hear what that's gonna sound like when we reach that point, but we're not there yet. Still, I'd say, interesting stuff, I had a decent time with this."
    • Thick - 5 Years Behind - 4/5
      • "A very promising debut. Fans of stuff like Mannequin Pussy or Bad Luck Party and the like, this is another one to add to that pile. It's kinda no-frills, it's kinda nothing fancy, but...y'all know I fuck with that kind of thing, and if you do too, this is something to get behind. If nothing else, I mean the song 'Mansplain', whoo, god, that's some good shit-that is a mood, isn't it, ladies, like holy fuck!"
    • Niall Horan - Heartbreak Weather - 3.5/5
      • "I can give him this much, it sure as hell was better than Harry Styles' follow up, I'm sorry, people, it bored me to tears."
    • The Weeknd - After Hours - 4.5/5
      • "This music is basically what plays inside of a burning strip club that's lost in the middle of the Twilight Zone. It's a weird aesthetic, but man, does Weeknd nail it, and he's nailed it on this record better than I think on any other, so, man, just..."
    • Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia - 5/5
      • "I need to stop before this becomes a full review but, uh, yeah. Big Album of the Year contender here. No joke."
    • Igorrr - Spirituality and Distortion - 3.5/5
      • "It's still strange, but it's not...impenetrable?"
    • Code Orange - Underneath - 4/5
      • "Maybe not the absolute best of the year by any means, but hey, is it a dark, dank, and destructive little throwdown? Hell yeah! Good shit!"
    • Suicide Silence - Become the Hunter - 3/5
      • "What we have in the end is just...a very forgettable deathcore record. It's an okay deathcore record but you've heard a thousand deathcore record that sound like this, and oh man, Suicide Silence, they should be doing better is all I'm saying."
    • Bombay Bicycle Club - Everything Else Has Gone Wrong - 2.5/5
      • "If you aren't a member of the fan club or anything...I don't know, there's nothing outstanding here. You've heard better before, I've even heard better from Bombay Bicycle Club themselves and there's just, I don't know, outside of cash in the check, there's just very little reason for this album to exist, I'm sorry. It did nothing for me."
    • tricot - Makkuro - 3.5/5
      • "If you aren't completely burned out on this genre just yet, this is worth checking out. It's interesting stuff. Loose recommendation, sure."
    • The Hellfreaks - God on the Run - 3/5
      • "I gotta admit, I was a little disappointed. A band with these descriptors should not sound...so generic? Not awful for what it is, I guess, but man, I can't help but think, like, the older stuff has to be more interesting than this."
    • Porridge Radio - Every Bad - 3.5/5
      • "I can give this a decent recommendation. This was something that did tickle my fancy in particular...then again, I am pretty old."
    • Dogleg - Melee - 4/5
      • "Fans of like, Midwestern emo or pop punk of that certain flavor, you know, stuff like American Football or Promise Ring, this might be something to check out. You know, it's not too shabby."
    • Huey Lewis and the News - Weather - 2/5
      • "People, I just can't sugarcoat this, it's not like, cringy or unlistenable, but man, Huey Lewis & The News deserve to go out on such a better note, you know? It's...yeah...it's one of those records that's just...it's safe for what it is, you know? It's a shame."
    • R.A.P. Ferreira - Purple Moonlight Pages - 4.5/5
      • "Again, I'm still pretty new to reviewing hip hop, and I am not an expert by any means...but I can't identify what I like in the genre, and I like this. It's experimental, it's bold, but it's not at all pretentious or overreaching, like...God, whatever Ferreria wants to call himself, I am all behind it. Like, 'Rap Ferreira', 'R-A-P Ferreira', really good stuff—am I saying that right? Am I supposed to pronounce—is it 'Rap' Ferreira or is it like 'R-A-P' Ferreira, am I supposed to be pronouncing—now, am I even pronouncing Ferreira right? Is it 'Fair-ee-uh' or 'Far-ee-uh'? I mispronounce everything!"
    • Roger Eno & Brian Eno - Mixing Colours - Zzz/5
      • (snores, gets woken up by rating sound effect)
    • Grouplove - Healer - 2.5/5
      • "If you need SWMRS by way of Ra Ra Riot or Atlas Genius, go nuts, I guess, but like, I got nothing to say about it, I'm sorry."
    • Heaven Shall Burn - Of Truth and Sacrifice - 3.5/5
      • "It is still Heaven Shall Burn and everything good that comes along with that, but like...it's a lot of Heaven Shall Burn, so be warned: this might not be the best place to start, but it is Heaven Shall Burn and that is very rarely a bad thing."
    • Fearing - Shadow - 4/5
      • "If you're a veteran of the genre, I would say maybe there's not a lot of groundbreaking material here, but for a genre band that does seem very rooted in, you know, the dark, sort of 80s synthwave, sort of goth spooky atmopshere, you know, these guys understand it, and they do pull it off very effectively, even if they aren't reinventing the wheel, their wheel is particularly round and smooth, so you know, good stuff. This is that good Lydia Deetz shit right there."
    • Sam Hunt - Southside - 1/5
      • "I can't even deny, this is the worst goddamn thing I've heard all year and I will be shocked if anything tops this. This is easy breezy beautiful the worst fucking record I'll hear in 2020 and if there is anything else that can top this...god, between this and fucking Theory of a Deadman and Five Finger Death—2020's over. I'm canceling it. (walks off screen) 2020's over, it's cancelled. Go home, 2020's cancelled! I cancelled it! I cancelled it!"
    • Little Big Town - Nightfall - 4.5/5
      • "This album is a fantastic example of what country can be when it's actually trying. Elegant, harmonious, and absolutely soothing, a wonderful record."
    • Hot Mulligan - You'll Be Fine - 3.5/5
      • "I have to admit, as someone who has had to listen to a lot of this stuff over the years, it's nice to hear a math rock band that actually can remember, 'Oh hey, we're a band too! Let's actually do band stuff and write songs and write hooks,' and like actually, you know, not just, (spastic air guitar) 'Love me, Dance Gavin Dance!'"
    • Bad Bunny - YHLQMDLG - 3/5
      • "I don't know, is this a record I'm supposed to hate or something, 'cause I don't hate it, you know? There's some interesting stuff on here, and the bits I did pick up on are pretty decent. You know, I understand the hype behind Bad Bunny, he seems to be doing something that is very interesting and unique. I at least understand it do a degree...but you know...¿Donde está la biblioteca?"
    • Conception - State of Decay - 2/5
      • "Like, if you used to just freebase Queensryche in the 90s, there might be something here for you, but I'm sorry, this...I did not enjoy this."
    • Higher Power - 27 Miles Underwater - 4.5/5
      • "This is the best kind of nostalgic throwback. I know nostalgia is kinda in, especially nostalgia for the 90s, but man, no, this was legit. This was very, very legit...or maybe I'm just old, who knows?"
  • Q2 2020
    • Courage My Love - SPECTRA - 4.5/5
      • "The 80s worship is a little excessive on the track 'Original,' like, Jesus, I Love the '80s wasn't this fuckin'...excessive was the references, but outside of that super-minor complaint, yeah, this is another gems, and it's yet another band we can add to that ever-growing list of groups that did a 1975 record better than The 1975! Good for them, bad for The 1975, seriously, I wasn't even that down on this albumnote , but, god, the more stuff that comes out this year, the more I realized I was being too nice. Shit."
    • The Black Dahlia Murder - Verminous - 4/5
      • "Look, I love this band, but I can completely admit this group big time suffers from 'the problem' (when a band only has one thing or one set of things they're expected to do over and over again). Black Dahlia is...just Black Dahlia at this point, they're out there, giving the fans basically what they want and not much else, but speaking as a fan, yeah, this is good stuff, I can't complain. They certainly do have 'the problem', but...I don't know, 'the problem' is only a real problem if you're not good at what you do, and Black Dahlia, they're really good at what they do, so you know, not gonna be for everyone, but...fuck, I liked it."
    • Fiona Apple - Fetch The Bolt Cutters - 3.5/5
      • "It's an album where I nod and contemplatively say, 'hmm, yes, indeed,' and I get it like that, but it's not fun. It's not, like, a fun record...at all. And 2020, god, it's—2020 needs fun albums. We need...shit, that's not just...bleugh. Maybe it'll grow on me."
    • The Smith Street Band - Don't Waste Your Anger - 3/5
      • "This album, it's just sad, and...sad. Again, maybe in any other year outside of 2020, I'd be way more generous, but given the circumstances...I'm sorry, I was just not in the mood for this."
    • Rina Sawayama - Sawayama - 5/5
      • "Like, don't mistake me, Dua Lipa's record is still great and it's going to get a very high spot on my end of the year list, but, uh...guess what? Sawayama...it's getting an even higher one. Damn, people, yeah, this record is that good. Check it out."
    • Quelle Chris & Chris Keys - Innocent Country II - 3.5/5
      • "I did get some nice vibes off of this record, but again...I can't help but feel like I'm a bit out of the loop, like, I can tell this album is not a good place to start with Quelle Chris' catalog, but it's still a solid record for sure. Even I can still see that. Props."
    • Car Seat Headrest - Making a Door Less Open - 2/5
      • "Overall, it wasn't like, an abysmal record or anything, but yikes, the parts of this album I didn't like, I really did not like, like holy shit, like...um, I don't know, get mad at me if you just gotta, but I really do not want to see this continue in this direction, just, no, just I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but like, no. All of my no, this is...ugh..."
    • Diet Cig - Do You Wonder About Me - 3/5
      • "I honestly feel like they maybe do need to mix up their sound a little bit for the next record because if they keep going on this path, I could see it getting very boring very quickly. I don't know, people, I thought I was gonna feel this one, but I just was not feeling this one."
    • Hayley Williams - Petals For Armor - 4.5/5
      • "Definitely pick it up, if you don't mind listening to another sad record, but this one, I feel gets it right."
    • Envy - The Fallen Crimson
      • "If you want a hardcore record that actually does heavy and smooth in just the right balance, this comes highly recommended, I definitely dug this one."
    • Perfume Genius - Set My Heart On Fire Immediately - 3.5/5
      • "A light recommendation from me, but if you need something smooth, man, this album right here is fine whiskey."
    • Boston Manor - GLUE - 3/5
      • "Again, I didn't hate it, I mean, I wasn't in agony listening to this or anything, but I just—the step down from their previous record was just so noticeable to me and...well, the thing is, they're going for a different groove on this record. They are trying something very different, and it just honestly didn't do much for me. Your mileage may definitely vary on this one, but...(shrugs)"
    • Covet - Technicolor - 4.5/5
      • "I really wish I heard a lot more math rock that sounded like this, and...just neither here nor there, but Yvette is a really pretty singer. I don't know why we don't hear her sing on more songs, she's—I don't know, she's got a very lovely voice, I'd be down for a completely vocal Covet record."
    • Lady Gaga - Chromatica - 3.5/5
      • "This record is okay, but it doesn't have, like, a 'Bad Romance' or an 'Edge of Glory' on it, it's not the most...captivating Gaga record, but if you're—if you like Lady Gaga, there's certainly nothing here that'll draw you away, but it's just, like...it's not my favorite Gaga record by a huge stretch, and I don't think there's gonna be a lot of other Gaga fans who would say the same thing. Although, I don't know, Gaga stans can be pretty crazy. Being one, I know."
    • Bad Cop/Bad Cop - The Ride - 4/5
      • "Again, there's nothing wrong with what they're doing, it's some great acerbic feminist punk rock, and in my book, that is always a nice thing to have, but if this kind of sound isn't necessarily your bag, I'm not sure this is the album that'll convince you, but those of us who know what we're shopping for, those of us who love this kind of punk, year, I say definitely pick this one up. BCBC is an absolutely great band. I could argue that they too might have 'the problem', they're too young to really tell, they've only got, like, three albums out right now, so it's still too early to call, but...I don't know, they do have one trick to them, it sounds like, but it sounds like they are developing into a band that is very good at their one trick, so...hey, ain't nothing wrong with that."
    • Coriky - self-titled - 3.5/5
      • "MacKaye has always been a great lyricist, he knows his way around a hook, and even if this isn't gonna be for everybody, I can still give it a recommendation. It's good stuff. MacKaye is still talented, and there are plenty of old punkers his age that, real talk...aren't.note "
    • Hum - Inlet - 3/5
      • "If you're into those, like, really super-thick alternative sounds like the guys from Helmet or Failure, this is still a nice little nostalgia romp, even though it's got things about it that I don't like, but your mileage will definitely vary on this. It's worth looking up if it sounds interesting to you."
    • Protest the Hero - Palimpsest - 5/5
      • "This record just absolutely destroys if you're into progressive metalcore or if you just want something that's heavy and just absolutely crazy and maniacal, this is one of the best heavy records in 2020, I'm just...big Album of the Year candidate, I wish I could go into more detail. I'm still kicking myself for not getting to it timely, but it released the same week as Lamb of God, so...agh...but I will be talking about this more on my end of the year list, don't worry."
    • American Aquarium - Lamentations - 3.5/5
      • "Regardless of the little nitpicks, this album, I'd say, its positives still outweigh its negatives, and I can still give it a fairly firm recommendation, it's good country, you know? It's decent."
    • Dzö’nga - Thunder in the Mountains - 4/5
      • "It's a fantastic black metal listen for those of us who don't exactly...gel the most well with black metal, hey, it's—I don't know, you might need to take that into consideration too, depending on your black metal tastes, but I found it to be a good sit. It's worth a shot."
    • The White Buffalo - On Widow's Walk - 3.5/5
      • "If you're into country or curious about country but maybe don't want to fully commit, I'd still say this is a good artist to be checking out, and this album turned out pretty okay."
    • RVG - Feral - 4/5
      • "Definitely worth picking up if you want something with a bit more of an indie buzz or something with a kind of a throwback sound that you don't often hear a lot of bands doing, I definitely appreciated that. I mean, I wouldn't mind a Britpop revival, would y'all want to see a Britpop revival? I'd do a Britpop revival."
    • True Body - Heavenly Rhythms for the Uninitiated - 3/5
      • "If you've got a predilection towards post-punk, you'll probably get something out of this, but if not, I really don't think this is the album that'll get you into the genre. This is a band that desperately needs to find some originality, and like...soon...but for what it is...you could do worse."
    • Volutrian - Crimson - 3/5
      • "This is a band I could see being potentially good in the future, I could see them being really worth watching, maybe if they develop in the right direction, but this record...they're not there yet. That's all I can really say."
    • Raleigh Ritchie - Andy - 2.5/5
      • "Uh...I don't know anything about this guy. I-I don't know jack shit about Raleigh Ritchie, I've never watched Game of Thrones and literally the only thing I've ever seen this guy in was that time he played Mario Kart with the Game Grumps, and based on his vocals, lyrics, and beat and sample choices on this particular record...I'd say he's better at Mario Kart. I wasn't feeling it."
    • Neil Young - Homegrown - 3.5/5
      • "Even if I wouldn't call this an undiscovered gem that you have to, 'oh, go out and buy, oh, this is the lost classic we never got,' even though I can't give it that much hype, I'm still glad we have it now and if you're into Neil Young, it's definitely checking out for sure. Like, there are good things on this album, but I would not call this a classic."
    • Choir Boy - Gathering Swans - 4.5/5
      • "Ooh. This gets a legit 'ooh' out of me, people, like...ooh."
    • Lovebites - Electric Pentagram - 3/5
      • "This album especially, it's just way too big of a bite, and I don't necessarily love it."
    • Adam Lambert - Velvet - 4/5
      • "I mean, if I can just put it as simply as I can put it, these are booty jams, people. These are just like, the bootiest of booty jams and these aren't tender, 'loving, care' booty jams, these are 'we're both drunk, I have no idea where I am, let's do something we'll regret' booty jams, you know? And I respect that."
    • Me and That Man - New Man, New Songs, Same Shit, Vol. 1 - 2/5
      • "Fellas, there are a lot of good musicians on this record, I will not fault you that, but guys, stick with what you know."
    • Carach Angren - Franckensteina Strataemontanus - 2/5
      • "Again, I'd be the last guy to know because I'm not like, a black metal dude, but I don't know, just looking from the outside in, I listen to stuff like this and I'm like...this is corny. This is like the cheese metal of black metal from what it sounds like, this is fuckin'...this is Beast in Black if it were no fuckin' fun."
    • Jonathan Hultén - Chants From Another Place - 4.5/5
      • "You know, I just love how the guys in Tribulation in general are just doing such cool and subversive stuff to black music, and this is another testament to their talent. Absolutely worth a look, even if you're not into darker genres, it's just a very pleasant and just blissful fuckin' record. Definitely give this a try, highly recommended."
    • Plasma Cutter - Summer Vacation - 4.5/5
      • "I was just having a good ride all the way through, and if a long album that has a lot of instrumentals can win me over, you know, my notoriously grumpy ass in that respect, if that album can win me over, it's definitely doing something right. I would definitely check this out, like...shit, good stuff!"
    • Back Up Kid - Goodness, Gracious - No score
      • "So, this got requested, and I'm not reviewing it. Do you know why I'm not reviewing it? Because it's just some guy who's doing this out of his basement for fun. He's not a professional, he's not out here trying to do this professionally, and I'm...don't wanna just review some guy, especially if it doesn't seem like he's out there trying to get people to review his stuff, like...People, requesting shit like this, this is a foul fuckin' ball, okay? I have to get, like, real with you for a minute. The only reason I'm even including this on the list is so that I can lay down a new policy with requests, people, requests have to be from actual artists. And, like, I don't mean that in like a condescending way towards this guy, 'Oh, you're not a real artist, no, no, I don't mean it like that. What I mean is, like, the band you request has to actually, like, be a band? Like, they have to be out there, trying to do this professionally? They have to be doing some kind of active promotion, preferably, they'd be signed to some kind of label or another, like, at the very least they have to have a fucking audience outside of, you know, their neighborhood? You cannot just request randos who are just out there trying to have fun; that isn't fair to the smaller acts who are just out there, not taking this seriously or who aren't ready to be reviewed like this! Requesting shit like this is very shitty to them, okay? The artist you request, whether it be for a Request Rundown or a FIMI, has to have at minimum 400 monthly listeners on Spotify. Like, Plasma Cutter, for example, that's also a very, very small act, but they meet all of that criteria. They are a band actually trying to promote and get noticed. It's okay to request a small act, but they have to be an act, okay? People, I will be exorcising this and I will be putting it to veto power, so just...use an ounce of common freakin' sense when requesting, okay? Like, I'm not gonna review some random dude's basement tapes that he probably doesn't even want reviewed! How would you feel if your old basement tapes or your first tries at doing art professionally, were, like, put under, 'oh, let's, let's, let's analyze, let's Anthony Fantano this, let's see, oh, oh, is this your first time? It totally sounds like it!' People, use common sense when requesting artists or I will freakin' veto you. I hate to get too real on you, but this has happened way too many times, and yeah, I am using this as a moment to draw the line. No! No! As far as this guy himself, I won't say anything else outside of, 'hey man, I enjoyed what you were doing, it sounds like you're having fun, I hope you're having fun, and I hope you're doing good and you and your buds are having a grand old time with it, you know? Like, if you ever do get to that point, hey! Maybe I can tackle you, I certainly wouldn't mind then, but for you and for every artist who is not ready for this, no, I'm not covering it.' Just...people, I know I sound salty, but just, just use some common sense, that's all I'm asking."
    • Chromeo - Quarantine Casanova - 4/5
      • "I don't even care, like, it's goofy as fuck and this is just a little throwaway project, but god damn, do these guys know a funky-ass groove. These guys are laying down some primo funk, man, just...Chromeo is totally one of those bands I need to get into, don't I? Are they a band I need to get into? I don't know, even based on this goofy little project, I'm just thinking, 'yeah...ooh, I need to hop on this train, shit!'"
    • Jeff Rosenstock - No Dream - 2.5/5
      • "If you just love, love, love this guy, more power to you, mazel tov, whatever, but...I don't. And I won't. So please stop requesting him, pretty please? I don't care. I do not care. I. Do not. Care. Simple as that."
    • One Desire - Midnight Empire - 3/5
      • "If you have a taste for this kind of classics-inspired cheese metal, this will probably scratch an itch for you, but outside of that demographic, um...I don't think this is gonna impress too many people. I mean, it's alright, it's okay, but...I can only recommend this to a very specific type of listener, so...I don't know, just take all of that in mind and just see where it takes you. I didn't necessarily love it, but I didn't hate it or anything either, it's okay.
    • Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated Side B - 4.5/5
      • "I don't have much to say about the new Carly Rae Jepsen except that, man oh man, this is album is horny as fuck, and I'm here for it. Judge me, I don't care."
    • Boris - NO - 3/5
      • "I mean, if you're into the sludgier, sort of slow-moving, more metallic sides of things, I don't see that being a problem for you necessarily, but man, if you aren't, this album...it'll really pique your interest in places, but man, will it take you to some deep valleys. It's, I don't know, it's for a very certain specific kind of listener, but I don't know."
    • Gabe Lee - Honky Tonk Hell - 3.5/5
      • "This isn't gonna be something for everyone, but if you can appreciate the classics and you don't mind a very twangy country vibe, yeah, I can recommend this. Pretty good stuff overall. It's weird seeing me recommend all this country, isn't it? I don't know, I'm learning."
  • Q3 2020
    • Left at London - Transgender Street Legend, Vol. 2 - 4/5
      • "This EP is short and snacky, but it's like, the best kind of snacky because it leaves me hungry for more, like...Left at London is good stuff, if y'all haven't caught up to that yet...do yourself a favor and catch up to it. Also, I still say best Tyler impression in the game."
    • Sharptooth - Transitional Forms - 4.5/5
      • "Good stuff in a genre that can get a little samey. Check it out."
    • The Strokes - The New Abnormal - 2.5/5
      • "I mean, just realest talk, I do not see what any of y'all see in this, but I don't know, I've had bad Strokes opinions since, like, 2006. They haven't really swayed me, I'm probably not the guy you want to listen to when it comes to The Strokes, again, more power to you if you were digging this, I know this isn't the popular opinion, but like, I don't lie to you people, I don't front with you people, and when I don't like something, I don't like to just kiss ass around it and like, whatever y'all see in it, I ain't here for it. I, just, you can have it, it's yours, enjoy it, I'm just not here for it. Serio—dude, learn to falsetto! Learn to falsetto, man, it is not hard--nails on a goddamn chalkboard! I am—I'm gonna walk away before y'all kill me, Jesus fuck."
    • Taylor Swift - folklore - 3.5/5
      • "You know, for a little project that was probably just, like, done in quarantine just as a lark, just as a goof maybe, just as 'I can't have my, you know, global-awesome-mega tour so I gotta do something so here's a folk album I'll just fart,' you know, for something like that, something so small-scale, it's honestly pretty decent. I enjoyed it."
    • The Fall of Troy - Mukiltearth - 3.5/5
      • "I don't know if it's like Album of the Year material, again, it's a little janky in places, but hey, it's still pretty nice. I can get behind it."
    • Deftones - Ohms - 5/5
      • "I didn't know how they were gonna be able to top Gore when that came out a few years ago, but not only did they top it, I'd say they like, damn, they like, knocked it out of the park with this one, yeah! Shit, people, the hype is real, this one rules!"
    • IDLES - Ultra Mono - 4/5
      • "This might honestly be the weakest IDLES project we've gotten to date, and I really don't know how much farther I want to see them go in this direction. This album proves that that sort of style that they developed on Joy [as an Act of Resistance]...kinda has diminishing returns. Not terrible diminishing returns, like I said, I still enjoyed this record, it's still got plenty of good slams on it and they're just as visceral and crazy and just wonderful as ever. The IDLES that we all love is still in here, but I don't know how much longer they can remain that IDLES and still be interesting, you know? They're gonna have to start thinking about mixing things up, but...still really solid, still had a lot of fun with this one, still completely worth your time."
    • Bob Mould - Blue Hearts - 4/5
      • "I still had a lot of fun with it and yeah, Bob Mould isn't walking out of here without a recommendation from me, so definitely worth your time."
    • The Killers - Imploding the Mirage - 3/5
      • "I mean, it sure is a Killers album. I have nothing else to add, I'm sorry. At least Brandon Flowers' falsetto doesn't sound like a rubber chicken angrily masturbating."
    • Marilyn Manson - WE ARE CHAOS - 2/5 (and binned)
      • "Manson's never given me much of a reason to care at the best of times, and lord knows he did very little on this record to change my mind, and also given all the...icky stuff we've been hearing about the dude lately, and frankly these kinds of rumors have been floating around for so long it's like, hard to even address and it's not something I even really wanna talk about, and he's not interesting enough for me to care, so this might seem a little controversial, but...yeah. Yeah, I'm perfectly fine leaving this guy behind."
    • Ruston Kelly - Shape and Destroy - 5/5
      • "Even if you can't stand country, even if you're that guy, give Kelly a shot! He may be the dude that converts you. He was certainly one of the dudes who helped convert me, and if he doesn't, man, I really don't know what will."
    • Imperial Triumphant - Alphaville - 3/5
      • "Okay, maybe this is just a me problem, this sounds like it might just be a me problem, again, we're dealing with two areas where I am beyond a pleb, but it's one of those albums where I can respect it on a technical basis. Yeah, this music took a lot of effort and a lot of skill to pull off, but just sitting there trying to listen to it and take raw enjoyment out of the experience, outside of admiring those hooks, um...yeah, I honestly just wasn't feeling this. Um...if it sounds up your alley, I'd still definitely give it a shot for sure, like I say, I'm not the guy you probably want to listen to on this, but I didn't have much fun with this, I'm sorry."
    • Bright Eyes - Down in the Weeds Where The World Once Was - 4.5/5
      • "Yes, I am a horrible fortune teller, but in this specific case, I'm happy I was wrong. Nice to have you back, Bright Eyes. Always love seeing you guys here."
    • Ulver - Flowers of Evil - 4.5/5
      • "I really enjoyed their last album, Assassination of Julius Caesar and this one was also very great. The synth work is a bit more colorful and a tiny bit more, like, splashy and vibrant in places. It's no less moody or atmospheric, it feels like this album is a little more...focused than Assassination was, and while it's not something I go out of my way for every day or anything, if you love dark, morose, melancholy as all hell synth-pop, absolutely go for it. These guys have been doing fantastic stuff for years now and it's definitely a nice thing to throw onto your Halloween mixtape, you know, it's good for that if absolutely nothing else. 'Tis the season, you know?"
    • Napalm Death - Throes of Joy in the Jaws of Defeatism - 4/5
      • "Napalm Death have delivered some of the most savage grind the genre has to offer, and at this point they have nothing else they need to prove to anybody anymore. I love this band, I'm always glad to see them drop a new record, so yeah, not much else I can say about it except that it's another Napalm Death record, but man, that has never, ever, ever been a bad thing."
    • Gulch - Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress - 4.5/5
      • "If you need your hardcore to be extra, like super fuckin' extra, this is extra with a fucking bullet! Like, it's a small package, it's a super small package, but they stuffed a lot into it and like, these guys really only need 15 minutes to impress you."
    • Ayreon - Transitus - 3.5/5
      • "This is not my favorite Ayreon record. I wouldn't tell you to start off with this album if you're new to Ayreon, there are so many other places I'd like to point you, but this is, it's okay."
    • Machine Gun Kelly - Tickets to My Downfall - 1.5/5
      • "People, this is fucking awful. He may not have gone into this record with like, the worst intentions; he said he wanted to get more people interested in pop punk and rock and stuff, but this record, it's so fucking shitty, I don't think a lot of people are going to be inspired to, you know, go more in-depth and listen to more rock. I think people are gonna just pull out their blink-182 albums because I liked this shit better when it was called Take Off Your Pants and Jacket! Again, I have nothing against Machine Gun Kelly on principle doing pop punk. If he wants to do pop punk, that's his right, but show up with your own ideas or just go away."
    • Joji - Nectar - 3/5
      • "Still not bad or anything, but this, um...this kinda has a shelf life. I wanna see the man do something new on his next project. I really hope he does."
    • Seether - Si Vis Pacem, Para Bellum - 2.5/5
      • "I guess if you're not like me and you never went through an 'ick' factor with this band, then it certainly is more Seether. It is what it says on the tin, I can't fault them for that, but make no mistake, that's all this is. It's another Seether record, and like, I just can't do it, I mean, me listening to Seether, I just get like, flashbacks, dude."
    • Alestorm - Curse of the Crystal Coconut - 3.5/5
      • "It's fun! There's nothing wrong with fun, and Alestorm, yeah, they're pretty fun!"
    • Sordid Pink - self-titled - 4/5
      • "Honestly an interesting little project. If you've never been into heavy metal or prog or anything like that, if you're a basic pop bitch but you want something to kinda help ease you into heavier music, this comes recommended, and even if you're not, I don't know, it's still a good listen. Check it out, it's interesting stuff."
    • Amaranthe - Manifest - 2.5/5
      • "I mean, they were never exactly the most heavy-handed band at the best of times, but on these last few albums and this one especially, I don't know, I can't help but feel like they're getting a little silly, and not necessarily in a good way either. I mean, I'm sorry but 'BOOM!1' off of this record is like one of the worst songs this band has ever written and there isn't much else on this album that's even memorable outside of like particularly good. Nothing outside of 'BOOM!1' that's offensively bad, but Amaranthe better be real careful because they are getting to be a...kind of way...and it's not a good way. I don't know what the heck is going on in Amaranthe but man, I don't know, these last few records have done very little to impress me and this one especially had its moments where I was like, 'Can you not?'"
    • nostraightanswer - specters - 3.5/5
      • "If you need something to like, just kind of chill out in 2020, about to say this is a decent one to pick up."
    • Alanis Morissette - Such Pretty Forks in the Road - 3.5/5
      • "If all you know is Jagged Little Pill, I wouldn't point you to this album directly, but I don't know, for those of us in the know, or those of us who just like relaxed adult contemporary piano-driven kind of stuff, sure."
    • Will Wood - The Normal Album - Huh?/5
      • "Huh?"
    • Shopping - All or Nothing - 3.5/5
      • "It's post-punk with a lot of funk and groove. The lyrics are a bit on the hollow derpy side, and even though this album is only 30 minutes, I gotta admit it did kinda feel its length in places, but nothing that's a deal-breaker. I can still definitely recommend this to anyone who has a taste for post-punk that's also super-duper, like tight and well-constructed. Give it a go."
    • Ye Banished Privateers - Hostis Humani Generis - 3/5
      • "If there was like a pirate-themed version of medieval times, this would be a fitting thing to play over the loudspeakers, but, uh...I don't usually, like, go out of my way to seek this stuff. Um, if your party has, like, a pirate theme, sure, I can recommend it or if you just...are really committed to your Jack Sparrow cosplay, feel free, but um...I just don't listen to this on my own time, I'm sorry."
    • Night Club - Die Die Lullaby - 4/5
      • "This is almost like if early Kesha had gone through a legit goth phase-and man is it a shame that never happened-but yeah, it's dark, but also very bright in certain places, definitely another great album to throw on your Halloween playlist. Wait, 'dark but also also bright.' I wrote that. I wrote that in my script, I—really putting that English degree to use, dude, holy shit."
    • Neon Trees - I Can Feel You Forgetting Me - 4.5/5
      • "I'd say Tyler Glenn has been feeling 2020 for quite a while now, and while a depressing Neon Trees record maybe doesn't sound like something you'd want on paper, especially after how bright and sunshiny their last one was in execution, man, did they pull it off, like, these guys are just pop geniuses. They understand the genre like very few other acts out there do today. Definitely another high recommendation out of me, fantastic record."
    • The Midnight - Monsters - 3.5/5
      • "It's not necessarily doing anything too new or bold or outside of the box, and at just under an hour long, it's a bit on the..padded side, but you know, this record creates a chill vibe and it's another record I can respect because hey, you can never find enough of that in 2020. Even if the timeline is fucked."
    • Biffy Clyro - A Celebration of Endings - 2.5/5
      • "Again, I hate running into these bands where it's just like, 'oh, okay, it's this again,' but this record...maybe you fans get it better than I do."
    • Red - Declaration - 1.5/5
      • "You can do so much better if all you want is metal with strings in it, you can do so, so, so much better, people! Please do better! There are so many other bands that do this better than they do! Please seek them out because Red fucking sucks!"
    • Drain - California Cursed - 4/5
      • "If you need your punk rock to have, like, the teensiest bit of Anthrax in it, hey, give it a whirl. Again, another super intense band."
    • Little Simz - Drop 6 - 4/5
      • "Again, it's short, it's snacky, there's not much here to actually even talk about, but what is on here left a nice impression. I would definitely be interested in hearing more."
    • Samia - The Baby - 3.5/5
      • "It's got its rough patches, but I do still see potential here, like, the raw talent does still shine through, but there are definitely some very noticeable rough edges that need to be sanded off in both production and like a performative kind of sense, but again, the talent is there, if she works on those issues, you know, keeps building herself up, and you know, keeps improving. Who knows?"
    • Protomartyr - Ultimate Success Today - 4/5
      • "Protomartyr is one of those bands where the thing they're trying to do is so unique and out there, it might just flat out not appeal to some of y'all. It's different, it's unique, but if you don't mind stepping outside of your comfort zone, then I'd say Protomartyr has definitely delivered again. They're a solid band that's doing something that not everyone else is or even can do. It's worth spinning just to see if it's your thing, because if it is your thing, yeah, you can get committed to it pretty quickly."
    • Bleed From Within - Fracture - 2.5/5
      • "You know, there's nothing inherently wrong with it, there's nothing, like, cringeworthy or gross on this record, but whatever, it's generic metalcore, it's basic bitch groove metal, it's what Five Finger Death Punch might sound like if they weren't fucking cunts, but like, god damn it, I have absolutely nothing else to say about them because they are just like so many other bands like this I've heard before, I'm gonna have to, like, put up a "no metalcore" sign or something because I'm just unbelievably tired of listening to stuff like this. Again, maybe it's just me. Maybe I've just been weared down. Maybe the metalcore has defeated me, but after listening to so many samey fucking bands that I cannot tell apart from each other...I don't know...you broke me, metalcore. You broke me."
    • Matt Berry - Phantom Birds - 3.5/5
      • "Not something I'd go too far out of my way to track down, I'm not the biggest fan of this style of folk, but if you really love your dad's old folk records, yeah, put this on. I'm sure it's a good time. Put this on your golden oldies playlist, it'll serve you well, man."
    • The Bombpops - Death in Venice Beach - 4/5
      • "For bands of stuff like Doll Skin or Bad Cop/Bad Cop, you should definitely check this band out. They aren't as outwardly political as those bands tend to be, their lyrics are a bit more like, personal and hedonistic, it's more in the NOFX vein of like 'fuck, what did I do last night, dude?' But hey, it's still rowdy, it's still fun, and y'all know I have a taste for this kind of stuff, and yeah, this record: pretty tasty. Recommended."
  • Q4 2020
    • Emmure - Hindsight - 1/5 (and binned)
      • "You all forgot this band existed in 2020, and you know what? Your life was better for it."
    • Drive-By Truckers - The New OK - 3.5/5
      • "It was a little...bleak for my tastes—at least my tastes in 2020, shit—but regardless, I still had a good time with this one. If you like country, yeah, Drive-By Truckers puts out good stuff. I definitely recommend them."
    • Neil Cicierega - Mouth Dreams - 3.5/5
      • "I always like these albums when they come around, but they're not, like, groundbreaking or anything, but that's fine, you know? Sometimes you just gotta let things be what they are, and you know, for what this is, sure, it's pretty nice. I dig it."
    • Touche Amore - Lament - 4/5
      • "Again, I don't necessarily love this one the same way that I loved Stage Four, I dunno, Stage Four was a whole different beast. Stage Four was such a heavy and meaningful record, that one was always gonna be hard to top. This is Touché Amoré coming back to basics a little bit, but even at their 'basic', they are still pretty damn good. I got a lot out of this."
    • Mr. Bungle - The Raging Wrath of the Easter Bunny - 4/5
      • "Even though I don't feel like this is a good starting point for their material, this was still a blast, yeah, I get it now. I get why Mr. Bungle is such a big deal to people, like yeah, yeah, I'm gonna pick up that self-titled & California and I'm gonna check them out, I promise. Now I'm on board, now I get it, people, but yeah, good stuff. I never said I wasn't a pleb, shut up."
    • Bring Me the Horizon - POST HUMAN: SURVIVAL HORROR - 4/5
      • "It sounds like they're still trying to figure out what their sound is gonna be in the new decade, it sounds like they are getting close to it, though. They are getting close to something. I don't even know if they are sure what they wanna be in the upcoming decade, but it sounds like they're toying with some new things, it sounds like they're trying new stuff, and you know, I think they'll get there. I don't know, it'll be interesting to hear what comes next from these guys for sure. Best of luck in 2021, guys!"
    • Corey Taylor - CMFT - 2.5/5
      • "I mean, it sounds like he had fun making it, it's not the most dreadful thing I heard in 2020, but as far as vanity projects go...I'll just say what I always say when these vanity projects come across my table: just because you were having fun, doesn't mean we're having fun. I've heard worse, still, but still not good, like...like, Stone Sour broke up because of this?"
    • Field Medic - Floral Prince - 4/5
      • "Even if he may be a little on the goofy side for some, I still found a lot to enjoy about this guy's work. I don't think it'll be for everybody, but the dude is supremely talented and honestly, it wouldn't hurt to check him out if you think that this'll be your thing. Listen to a few songs, see if you like it, and you know what? If you do, stick around, because the guy's got a decent amount of good stuff."
    • Open Mike Eagle - Anime, Trauma and Divorce - 5/5
      • "This man was able to make a rhyme with 'Eddie Pepitone'...that alone deserves our respect."
    • Gorillaz - Song Machine, Season One: Strange Timez - 4/5
      • "Even if it's not, like, a perfect Gorillaz record, I wouldn't say this was, like, an all-time favorite for me, still a damn good record on display here. I'm looking forward to Season 2."
    • Midnight Oil - The Makarrata Project - 3.5/5
      • "I don't know if this will win a lot of people over to them or anything, but if you're already into this band, um, yeah, this is a cool little record with the money going to a good cause, so you know what? Sure. Sure."
    • Ariana Grande - Positions - 3/5
      • "I don't know, even if you do like Ariana, this is a little too much Grande at once, you know? Like...man, this girl is just gonna start releasing albums every three months at this point, isn't she? She already dropped one while you were watching this, didn't she? Oh, Ariana, stop, stop!"
    • Busta Rhymes - Extinction Level Event 2: The Wrath of God - 2/5
      • "People, I dig Busta Rhymes' more notable work and I really wanted to like this record, but Busta didn't give me much of a reason to like this record, and I don't know. People, rule of thumb: the sequel is always worse than the original. I mean, you can't make things extinct twice..."
    • The Network - Money Money 2020 Part II: We Told Ya So! - 4/5
      • "The Network put out a better album than Green Day did this year. That's how messed up 2020 is."
    • Killer Be Killed - Reluctant Hero - 4/5
      • "I said in my old review of their self-titled that Killer Be Killed is that rare supergroup that genuinely does feel super, and you know what? They didn't sophomore slump out, so more power to 'em."
    • AC/DC - PWR UP - 3/5
      • "I mean, I'm not angry that this exists, hey, the people who want more AC/DC in 2020, they aren't asking for these guys to reinvent the wheel. This record gives that crowd everything they could possibly want and more, so I don't have a reason to be, like...chuffed about this, but if you aren't, like a super dyed-in-the-wool Akka Dakka stan, look, this one's pretty rough and you really don't have to bother with it, I'm just...hey, I'm happy you AC/DC fans are happy, I'm happy for y'all, but those of us who don't worship this band..."
    • Miley Cyrus - Plastic Hearts - 4/5
      • "This legit feels like a project with sincere thought, passion, and understanding of the genre she's playing with. It doesn't feel like a 'cynical attempt to reach a new market', she genuinely seems to get rock, especially the classics. She had a lot of help to get her there on this record, but like I said, she brought the tunes to back it up, so yeah, I dug this! Between this, Poppy, Sawayama, and all the other 'pop starlets' who are going rock and metal and everything else this year, hell yeah, I'm for it."
    • Charli XCX - how i'm feeling now - 4.5/5
      • "This was an album that could have only come out in 2020, the year where most of us just kinda laid around in our underwear all day and wondered...'whyyyyy???' Another strong as hell pop record for the year. Bam. Wish I looked that good in my underwear."
    • Black Eyed Peas - Translation - 1.5/5
      • "There is not a single genuine bone in this thing's entire goddamn body and even if the music isn't, like, their worst sonically—yes, it is still pretty bad—but still, even if it's not, like, the worst sounding record they've ever put out, the reasons for this album's existence just make it, like, five times worse. Again, y'all who are pissed, I ain't as pissed, but I get it. I damn well get—this is making my worsties, no doubt this is making my worsties. Shit this goddamn reprehensible, yeah, fuck you."
    • Shawn Mendes - Wonder - 2/5
      • "YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN—"
    • Taylor Swift - evermore - 4/5
      • "Taylor has honestly been getting her groove back with these small, thoughtful little folk projects, and you know what? This can only be good for her in the future. Honestly, I'm happy to hear decent stuff come out of her again."
    • beabadoobee - Fake It Flowers - 5/5
      • "Like, legit, rock is totally being taken over by the pop queens, and you know what? If the music is gonna sound this good, especially given what the idiot boys have done with the genre over the last 20 years, yes! Again, take it! Take, take it! You're all doing such great stuff, like, I'm here for it! Like, I want more of this! This could be rock, goddammit!"
    • Oneohtrix Point Never - Magic Oneohtrix Point Never - 2.5/5
      • "This is definitely one of those records that's going to be for some of y'all, but for me, it was just—it's not my thing. Take my score with a grain of salt here, because your mileage is definitely gonna vary, but I didn't really care for this, I'm sorry."
    • Ashton Irwin - Superbloom - 2/5
      • "I'm sorry, this is just kinda bland and tepid and meandering and loose. It sounds like if Doves was way too overproduced. I'm not a fan, that's all I can say."
    • Blue October - This is What I Live For - 4/5
      • "Again, this isn't one of those bands that's gonna necessarily be for everyone, I get it, but if you have fond memories of the History for Sale, Approaching Normal kind of period that they're in, this one was a nice throwback. It was a nice return to form for them, and you know what? Yeah, Blue October is still pretty damn solid."
    • DECO*27 - アンデッドアリス - 2.5/5
      • "For all I know, this could be a Vocaloid masterpiece, but I just didn't enjoy it. I just don't think Vocaloid is for me."
    • Soft Kill - Dead Kids, R.I.P. City - 4/5
      • "It can be a little...overly subdued at times, it can get downright sleepy in places, but overall it's a fantastic little album, especially if you like the mellower side of the genre, yeah, this is definitely one worth trying out. I definitely was feeling this one."
    • Orbit Culture - Nija - 3.5/5
      • "It's like if Gojira and early thrash Metallica were Swedish and slam metal. Not bad."
    • Days N' Daze - Show Me The Blueprints. - 3/5
      • "So this is what happens when you give AJJ meth. It's alright, I guess."
    • Red Vox - Realign - 1.5/5
      • "People, please stop requesting music from YouTubers. 99% the time, it's almost always fucking dreadful, and yes, I include myself into that equation, I ain't exempt from this. Have you heard my music? My music sucks!"
    • New Found Glory - Forever + Ever x Infinity - 3/5
      • "They decided to pull a big flashback on us, remind us of better times, and you know what? There's a part of me that definitely appreciates that, even if New Found Glory...I mean, they're kinda like AC/DC, you know? Their old fans, the people who are still hanging in there, they know exactly what they want out of this band, and these guys are still giving it to 'em, so that much I can at least appreciate and respect, but...I mean it is just another New Found Glory record. If that doesn't sound like something you'd vibe with, then you won't, but if it is, hey, it's alright."
    • Svalbard - When I Die, Will I Get Better? - 5/5
      • "Honestly, a record like this was just what I needed in 2020, especially the tail-end of 2020, so um, yeah, I'll just leave it at...we'll talk more when the best list comes around."
    • Puscifer - Existential Reckoning - 2.5/5
      • "To me, Puscifer has always kinda served as proof that in order for Maynard to really be able to shine, he needs to be working with other people who can stop him from filling out his worst tendencies, because left to his own devices, this honestly is probably the best thing he can do, and even then I'm just still not feeling it."
    • Gargoyl - self-titled - 2/5
      • "(realizes he forgot to record video footage for this one as well as the Svalbard review from earlier) God damn it, I forgot to shoot this one too, but I, uh, people with this one, um...well, as you can see from my script here...(shows initial script reading "you mispelled Gargoyle...and did a poor job ripping off Alice in Chains. *DING*...yawn.")...didn't really give me a lot to say. No thanks."
    • Fever 333 - WRONG GENERATION - 4/5
      • "It may be ultra short, but it's the best kind of short and that it leaves me hungry for more. God damn, can we please get another record from Fever 333 in 2021? We're gonna need it."
    • I Don't Know How But They Found Me - RAZZMATAZZ - 3.5/5
      • "This project definitely feels like it's gonna be more of a singles thing than a full-blown album band, but I mean the strength of those singles alone, I just gotta give credit where it's due, they are pretty strong. It would be worth giving this album a shot just off of the strength of those, but if you're looking for, like, a deep or, like, a really engrossing experience, nah, but again, those singles really kick."
    • Salem - self-titled EP - 4/5
      • "Again, it's way too short, it's just an EP that's barely 15 minutes at that, but this is just a public service announcement for those of you that may need it if you 'miss old Creeper'. Yeah, yeah, right here. Right here, just saying, just throwing that out for y'all."
    • Bartees Strange - Live Forever - 4.5/5
      • "If you're into hip-hop, indie stuff, poppier rock, like, I don't know, like, honestly it's, again, he's hard to shoehorn into any specific category, but if you like very pleasant melodies and very good lyrics and very, very interesting instrumentation, I don't know, I can't put it into words very well, but yeah, people, pick this one up. I'll try to do a better job on the best of the year list. No joke."
    • Jack Garratt - Love, Death & Dancing - 3/5
      • "An album of ideas more than songs, I feel, and not that that can never be interesting, but man, I just prefer songs if you got them. You got any songs? Give me some songs next time."
    • Armored Saint - Punching the Sky - 3/5
      • "If you dig the classics, this is sure to get the job done for ya."
    • Yungblud - ''Weird!" - 3.5/5
      • "I had a better time with this album than y'all kinda built it up to be. It's not an Album of the Year candidate or anything, but for what it is, I'm sorry, I don't hate it. I guess maybe I'm supposed to hate it because this guy is friends with Machine Gun Kelly, is that what it is? I will say that the MGK feature on this record is just fuckin' dog shit. That was a shitty moment, god, it's a song that isn't good enough for MGK's album! That's what that song sounds like, like...(facepalms) bleugh."
  • Q1 2021
    • Steven Wilson - THE FUTURE BITES™ - 3.5/5
      • "It's fine. It's like, generally...just, like, fine. And it's okay for albums to be fine, like, people..."
    • Viagra Boys - Welfare Jazz - 2.5/5
      • "It has its moments, but man, this record is just gonna be kryptonite to a certain kind of person, and I completely understand. It's just a...'ick' kinda record, there's a fair amount of ick on this. And for fuck's sake, tune your goddamn saxophone!"
    • R.A.P. Ferreira & Scallops Hotel - bob's son: R​.​A​.​P. Ferreira in the garden level cafe of the scallops hotel - 3.5/5
      • "The message feels a lot more jumbled here compared to purple moonlight pages; some of the ideas and some of the things he was trying to do don't feel as fully fleshed out. They feel more like he just lumped everything together, hoping that the album would kinda...create itself via osmosis or something? But, you know what? There's still a lot of very fine beats, some very fine lyrics out there, and you know what? Still a very solid listen overall. Not something I regretted spending the time with, even if I wouldn't say this is, like, album of the year material or anything, definite recommendation nevertheless. Decent stuff."
    • Five Iron Frenzy - Until This Shakes Apart - 5/5
      • "Absolutely do not sleep on this, even if you're that guy that doesn't like Five Iron Frenzy. I was that guy once upon a time too. Their last record changed my mind, and this only set it in stone, people."
    • Tribulation - Where the Gloom Becomes Sound - 4.5/5
      • "Man, what a hell of a note to go out on. Beautiful, brutal, and just all-enveloping music that just washes over you in such a twisted and pleasant way. If their days with Hultén had to end, they ended on probably the best possible note we could ask for."
    • Hayley Williams - FLOWERS for VASES / descansos - 3.5/5
      • "Your liking of this record is probably going to sincerely correlate between how much you liked that last album and how much you'd be down for, like, a round two of it. And while I did like Petals for Armor...I mean, I kinda got the point with the first record, you know? I wasn't exactly aching for more Petals for Armor, but I did enjoy it, but it just feels like more of a thing I already got. I mean, you eat one steak, you're full. If the waiter comes out and gives you a complimentary steak...I mean, that's nice, but dude, I'm full? I'm on a diet, and I'm a vegetarian, can we talk?"
    • Foo Fighters - Medicine at Midnight - 2.5/5
      • "I can just tell by listening to 'em now, we are never gonna get a Colour and the Shape again, we're never gonna get an Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace; I would love, love to be wrong about that prediction too, like I was with the last one to be fairnote , but, like...I dunno, this record didn't ease my tensions about the future. If anything, it just gave me more apprehension for what the Foos are gonna do next. What can they do next? Again, I hope I'm wrong."
    • Genesis Owusu - Smiling with No Teeth - 4.5/5
      • "This is an exquisite record to put on and just vibe to, man, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily a softball either. It's not an album without weight, but it's also full of, like, funth and warmth—'funth?'—and lush, friendly tunes that just help balance everything in such a perfectly blended way, it's just an extremely pleasant record. An extremely sunshiney record. A record that is just...well, again, vibes!"
    • Band-Maid - Unseen World - 4/5
      • "It's a pretty simple formula. It's something we all kinda get at this point, but...I dunno, I'm a sucker for it! I like it! Y'all know I always fall for that cutey shit, and like, yeah, this is that cutey shit. The music slaps again too, so, um...even if I can't go into graphic detail about why I like it, um...I like it!"
    • Robin Thicke - On Earth, and in Heaven - 2/5
      • "There is just very little to talk about here, and honestly, those are the hardest albums to write stuff about, so...at least he's not creeping on anyone anymore, or if he is, he's creeping in such a way that it's so bland and innocuous that no one could possibly know or care..."
    • Epica - Ωmega - 4.5/5
      • "Legit may be the best symphonic record I hear all year, and if it's not, then symphonic metal is in for a hell of a year."
    • Pale Waves - Who Am I? - 2.5/5
      • "It's hard to judge exactly what happened here, it was probably a number of things just going wrong, but god damn it, I still believe this band still has potential. I really do, but this is not the direction they need to continue in."
    • Black Dresses - Forever In Your Heart - 4.5/5
      • "It's a record that just scrapes like a fingernail on a chalkboard...and it legit may be an album of the year candidate for me. It sucks that this band basically got bullied off the internet because fuck transphobes—seriously, fuck transphobes—but go support their Bandcamp page, go show love for their work...this band could totally use it and they are totally worthy of it too."
    • Evanescence - The Bitter Truth - 2/5
      • "If I were more of an Evanescence fan, I feel I would be way more let down is all I'm saying here, people."
    • Architects - For Those That Wish to Exist - 3/5
      • "I dunno, it wasn't a bad listen by any means. It has enough decent moments on it to justify its existence...LOL...but, I mean, overall, I don't see this one making my albums of the year list necessarily. Not a bad record overall, but just...I was kinda hoping for more. Maybe that's just me."
    • Kings of Leon - When You See Yourself - 1.5/5
      • "Can I put these guys in the bin? I hate bringing up the goddamn motherfucking bin. Every time I do, it's an absolute shitshow. You gotta remember, the bin is not just for artists that are '#Problematic,' it is for any band that I do not want to speak about anymore on the channel for whatever reason. And what the fucking hell can I even say about these milquetoast, soft-boy, piss-baby, (vocalizes a random noise emulating Caleb Followill's vocal style) What do I even say about that anymore? I'm sorry, but this band a long time ago crossed the threshold from, like, just 'harmless, meaningless' boring into full-blown 'frustrating' boring, like, how dare you be this boring? I sat there and listened to this goddamn thing waiting, begging for it to get out of first gear, and by the end, we were in fucking reverse! I did like these guys back in their more southern rock, their more energetic days, but people, even then, I don't need every album to be Holy Roller Novocaine or anything. I mean that! I liked Only by the Night, even Come Around Sundown had some decent moments and ideas on it! This band though, they have lost so much energy that this band is now actively sucking energy out of the universe! Literally!note  Imagine if you were one of the full-blown suckers who bought this dredge-heap with Bitcoin bullshit bucks or whatever! It's just clear that they are never going to change. They are never going to adapt, they are never gonna grow, they are never gonna pull out of this funk, this is all they're capable of. This is it, this is the only thing they do now. I'm so fucking tired of this goddamn band. I still haven't made up my mind as to whether I'm gonna throw 'em in the bin, but like...what difference would it even make at this point? Would you even care if I did? Hell, I can tell you what their next record is gonna be! You wanna hear their next album way before it comes out? Just take this record and play it on half-speed! (vocalizes random noises emulating Caleb Followill's vocal style, comedically stretched out) Is this annoying you? Imagine it for 45 minutes!"
    • A Day to Remember - You're Welcome - 1.5/5
      • "I love this band, people, I don't wanna be saying this about it, even about a record that's not good, you know? I don't, but like, this is...this is Suicide Silence bad. This is...I'm just gonna go lie down."
    • NOFX - Single Album - 1/5
      • "People, after listening to this fucking shambles, it's safe to say the potential we saw on First Ditch Effort, that weird, little glimpse of light is completely snuffed out and we're never gonna get it again. Never. With Mike's voice completely shot, with I dunno, the band seeming to lose interest, even in their own legacy. What the fuck were you even trying to accomplish with 'Linewleum?'"
    • Chevelle - NIRATIAS - 4/5
      • "I would hate for this to be the very last one they ever do, but if it's just gotta be like that, they're leaving on a pretty damn good note, so you know what? More power to 'em. Definite clap, like, you know what? Go check out Chevelle, god damn it!"
    • Aaron Lee Tasjan - Tasjan! Tasjan! Tasjan! - 3.5/5
      • "If you ever wondered what Tom Petty might sound like if he were born in the '80s, bisexual, and much more silly...well, that on its own sounds pretty interesting, so I'd say, yeah, give it a shot!"
    • The Best of the Worst - Better Medicine - 3/5
      • "It wasn't an album I hated by any means, but, like...man, there was just a lot holding this particular record down. I just couldn't get behind it. I wanted to get behind it, but I just couldn't, you know? Hey, props for trying."
    • Arlo Parks - Collapsed in Sunbeams - 4/5
      • "This is the perfect thing to put on and just let the bullshit of the day just melt away. Fuck that shitty day job, fuck all the shitty Karens screaming at ya about bullshit that doesn't matter, fuck all of it. Fuck all of it. Just let the vibes take ya, man. I'm down with that, I love a good smooth R&B jam, and this is a damn smooth one to boot. I mean, pair this with Smiling with No Teeth and, like...(kisses fingertips)"
    • Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra - SKA=ALMIGHTY - 3.5/5
      • "This is a fun time. A fun, more traditional kinda ska time, and you know what? Very good for what it is. I definitely got a lot of respect for it. Good stuff."
    • Scarlxrd - Dxxm II - 2.5/5
      • "I need a little more substance than this. That's the thing: there's just nothing to this music. I guess people who are into Scarlxrd are probably gonna get what they want out of this. It is, in fact, another Scarlxrd, but speaking as an outsider...people, it all just sounds the same to me. It's all just (weird growl noise), it's all just (weird growl noise), it's all just...'MOMMY, I WANT TENDIES! SPELL TENDIES WITH AN X!'"
    • Grove - Queer + Black - 3.5/5
      • "If you want something that's just a hell of a nice little...danceable affair, hey, this is a nice little thing! It's only 16 minutes long, though, so it's, like, the teeniest slice of that you could possibly ask for, but you know what? It was effective in those 16 minutes. It did show a lot in 16 minutes, and you know what? That's any good EP should do: leave you hungry for more, so...not bad. Not bad overall. Not bad."
    • Jetty Bones - Push Back - 4/5
      • "People, it hits. It genuinely does hit. I was feelin' this. Don't know what that says about me—"
    • tUnE-yArDs - sketchy. - 3.5/5
      • "Nothing, like, too offensive here, nothing like Viagra Boys irritable or anything, you know? And either way, it has the jams to justify its existence, so even if it's not aces all around...still decent stuff. I had a fun enough time with it."
    • PUPIL SLICER - Mirrors - 3.5/5
      • "It's a heavy, slamming, intense, and technically proficient good time. Even if it's not reinventing the wheel in my opinion at least, like, still a fun time. Still a good jam. I'm havin' fun, so why complain?"
    • SLANT - 1집 - 5/5
      • "Even though they are a long way from D.C. or Cali, they—god, they pull it off so well, it almost feels like they'd fit right in, people! The record's only 15 minutes long, but people—god, it's like the best kind of 15-minute-long record you can deal with. This is the kinda band that knows what they're tryin' to do. They aren't fuckin' around, they aren't tryin' to diddle or dawdle. They get in, they blow your mind, they get the fuck out, just like Minor Threat, just like the Ciʀcle JƎʀᴋs, just like that kinda thing, like man, I guess you could call it derivative if you really wanted to, but man, they are so proficient at it! They are so slamming and just angry and vibrant and their singer is absolutely shrieking her guts out, man! Good shit, people, don't sleep on it!"
    • Ashnikko - Demidevil - 4/5
      • "Y'all know I've always been a sucker for the cutesy shit, and like...well, this is technically the cutesy shit, I guess, but this is like...the hard cutesy shit. Like, this is the cutesy shit you, uh...you tie one off for."
    • MOD SUN - Internet Killed the Rockstar - 3/5
      • "God, if anything, this record makes me hate Tickets to My Downfall even more because even the people who are copy-catting MGK are doing him better than he can! Like...I did not wanna talk about Tickets to My fucking Downfall past 2020, oh my God, what am I doing here?"
    • Brand of Sacrifice - Lifeblood - 3/5
      • "There is definitely an audience for this. Even its weirder moments, I wouldn't say they absolutely kill it by any means, but it does take points off of an album that really feels like it could've been more, but like...okay, guys, you do you, I guess."
    • SUNDAYS - Inner Coast - 3.5/5
      • "Still really good overall, and you know what? If you need a chill-ass chill vibe, there ya go. Probably the chillest album we're talkin' about on this whole thing."
    • NECRONOMIDOL - vämjelseriter - 2.5/5
      • "I dunno, these days it takes more than, 'Oh hey, we're metal but, kawaii!' to impress people over here. I mean, hell, BABYMETAL is old news at this point. BABYMETAL's been around for literally a decade now, and—wait, holy shit, for real? Really, they've been out 10 years?! Oh my god, I'm so old!"
    • Alice Cooper - Detroit Stories - 2.5/5
      • "It is what it is, it's not hurtin' anything. I mean, yeah, it's not good, but grandpa's havin' his fun. Let grandpa have his fun, he's not hurtin' anybody at this point. At least it's better than Hollywood Vampires, I'll give it that."
    • Infinity Shred - EP 002 (Recovery) - 4.5/5
      • "Again, it's another really scant record, just barely 20 minutes, and 20 minutes of instrumentals at that, so I get how this might not be everyone's thing, but man, the fact that as I was listening to this, I was just aching, pleading for more of it...again, that's any good EP does. It leaves you hungry to hear more from this band, and like, wow, I really hope we hear more from this band because, damn."
    • Pinkshift - Saccharine - 3.5/5
      • "For a debut EP from a brand-spankin' new band, this isn't too shabby at all. It's a nice proof of concept for what this band could be in the future, and yeah, I'd say there's definitely real potential here. I like what I hear, I wouldn't mind hearing more, and again, that's what any good EP should do, so ding, they nailed it. Good for them.
    • The Dirty Nil - Fuck Art - 2.5/5
      • "I mean, okay, fine, if you're a big fan of PUP or, like, maybe Puppy, maybe this band will hit with ya, but I dunno, I wasn't overall impre—was that on purpose?note 
    • Humanity's Last Breath - Välde - 4.5/5
      • "Y'all know how much of a soft little baby bitch I am when it comes to, like, the blackened stuff, and the ultra super-heavy stuff, y'all know how 'ew, icky' I can be about that, so the fact that I'm walking away from this record happy should let you know what you're in for here. This is good stuff, just can't even deny, go for it."
    • Blackmore's Night - Nature's Light - 3/5
      • "I don't usually seek this kinda stuff out, but it was good for what it was. There's even a nice little cover of "Wish You Were Here''—no, not that "Wish You Were Here"—what's even scarier is they do a pretty decent job of it. How did Rednex show up twice in this episode?"


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