Recap / Cheers S1E3: "The Tortelli Tort"

Episode: Season 1, Episode 3
Title:"The Tortelli Tort"
Directed by: James Burrows
Written by: Tom Reeder
Air Date: October 14, 1982
Previous: Sam's Women
Next: Sam at Eleven
Guest Starring: John Ratzenberger, Ron Karabatsos

"The Tortelli Tort" is the third episode of the first season of Cheers.

The gang at the bar watches the Red Sox suffer a disappointing loss to their rivals the New York Yankees. Carla, who loves all things Boston and Boston sports, is particularly upset. Enter Ed (Ron Karabatsos), a braying, obnoxious Yankees fan who enters the bar and taunts all the Boston locals. No one particularly likes Ed, but when he recognizes former major league baseball player Sam Malone, and mocks him for his drinking habit, Carla flips out. She jumps on the back of the much bigger man and slams his head against the bar.

Unfortunately for Carla, Ed is not willing to accept this quietly. He demands that Sam fire Carla, or he'll file a lawsuit that could cost Sam his bar. Sam, who has to admit that Ed has a point about Carla's rage issues, has a difficult choice to make.

The rather abbreviated B-plot has Coach claiming that his secret strategy as a professional baseball player was to get hit by pitches whenever he wanted, especially in the head.

---

Tropes:

• Bait-and-Switch: Carla is terrified at the thought of losing her job.
  Carla: Think of my kids. If I lose this job, I'd have to stay home with them.
• Berserk Button:
  • Carla is already unhappy with Ed's presence in the bar but she loses it and attacks him when he mocks Sam's alcoholism.
  • Diane gets surprisingly aggrieved when Carla suggests she's not a natural blonde.
• Black Comedy: A throwaway gag features an elderly bar patron who comes into Cheers and buys drinks for everybody, whenever one of his elderly siblings dies and leaves him their money.
  Diane: That's ghoulish.
  Norm: We thought so, before the fifth or sixth time.
• Comically Missing the Point: Somewhere between here and Dramatically Missing the Point is that Carla is on the verge of getting fired, but is positively gleeful about what she did.
• Cool and Unusual Punishment: In the end, Eddie figures leaving Carla to work at Cheers is probably worse than getting her fired.
• Damned by Faint Praise: Ed recognizes Sam, and declares "you didn't stink." Though he also admitted Sam had a darned good slider.
• Early-Installment Weirdness: The Yankee-Red Sox rivalry is presented here as something serious. No antipathy of the Yankees would ever be shown again; in fact, the rest of the cast would mock Sam for how a former Yankee rival would show up him running around the bases for a home run later in the series.
• Fat Bastard: Ed.
• Hit Me, Dammit!: Coach holds the minor-league record for being hit by pitches and demands that Diane throw a baseball at him. She swears that she won't get it anywhere near him, but sure enough, her throw conks him on the noggin.
• Jerkass: Eddie's a real prize, going into a Boston bar after a Red Sox loss and mercilessly taunting the patrons.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Carla was perfectly fine just exchanging insults with Ed over the Yankees/Red Sox rivalry. What provokes Carla's attack is Ed repeatedly taunting Sam over his alcoholism.
• Jerkass Has a Point: Ed's an a-hole, but he isn't wrong about Carla being a rageaholic who shouldn't be working any job that has her dealing with strangers.
• Laser-Guided Karma: At the end of the episode, Ed does everything he can to try and provoke Carla into attacking him, descending to increasingly petty personal attacks, before he breaks out the big guns of attacking Boston hockey team the Bruins. Carla remains utterly still, and Ed gives up. As he leaves, a very large man speaks up. He's a Bruin. Or, more accurately, a former Bruin, and offers to walk Ed to his car while showing him some of the things that got him suspended.
• Laughing at Your Own Jokes: When revealing she goes to a therapist, Diane preempts her statement by telling everyone "get ready to laugh". Absolutely no-one does.
• Massive Numbered Siblings: Carla mentions here she has six older brothers and sisters. As the show goes on, we meet three of them (one brother and two sisters).
• Mondegreen Gag: Ed says his name is New York is "Big Ed". Carla deliberately mishears it as "Pig Ed".
• Never Heard That One Before: Carla stands up and demands the attention of the entire bar when the Sox start losing. Everyone, Diane included, repeats her spiel word-for-word.
• Never My Fault: Ed goes into Cheers, insults everyone there for several minutes straight, and sues when Carla attacks him. What did he expect was going to happen?
• Nothing Personal: Ed says he has nothing against Sam personally (despite the obnoxious comments towards him), but he still insists on taking Cheers from him if Carla keeps working there.
• Ordered Apology: Sam tries to get Carla to apologize to Ed, but she takes it as Sam insisting Ed apologize to her.
• Pint-Sized Powerhouse: The first time that tiny little Carla attacks someone with terrifying fury. She leaps up on Eddie's back and slams his head into the bar. It takes most of the bar's patrons to drag her off the guy.
• Prepositions Are Not to End Sentences With: Diane gets on her Grammar Nazi horse and pesters Sam about ending sentences with prepositions.
  Sam: Don't you have customers to deal with?
  Diane: You ended that sentence with a preposition too.
  Sam: (furious) Don't you have customers to deal with, mullet-head?
• Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "The Bruins are a bunch of stinkin'. Stupid. SISSYS."
• Running Gag: The terrible napkins Coach orders in bulk during the cold open.
• The Shrink: No, not Frasier Crane—Carla saves her job by taking anger management lessons with a Dr. Graham. The ending, where she chucks a beer mug at a customer, reveals that she didn't actually learn anything at all.
• Skewed Priorities: Norm's only reaction to Carla attacking Eddie? Ask Sam to top up his beer.
• Tame His Anger: Supposedly the lesson Carla learned from her treatment with Dr. Graham, although as the ending reveals she didn't actually learn anything.
• Therapy Is for the Weak: Carla refuses to go to therapy for anger management because she believes it's for "wackoes".

---