"Well, when I meet Courtney in the ring, I plan to ask her where she's been shopping for that fly designer gear. I mean, she looks so pretty and nice."
—Brandy
The eleventh episode of the first season of Celebrity Deathmatch, also known as Masters of the Martial Arts.
This episode consists of three pre-determined fights. The first undercard fight is a battle of the high-brow/low-brow sitcoms with Roseanne Barr and Kelsey Grammer. The second undercard fight sees Brandy and Courtney Love battle for their happily ever after. The third fight and main event sees martial artists Jackie Chan and Jean-Claude Van Damme battle for supremacy.
This episode contains examples of:
- A-Cup Angst: Courtney is shown wearing a pink bra and skirt ensemble which exposes her midriff, but most importantly tries to emphasise her breasts. After explaining to Stacy about how angry she is that Brandy was cast to play Cinderella (because she wanted to be admired by the film's target audience), she then nonchalantly asks if her boobs look ok.
- Accordion Man: In some behind the scenes footage from one of his films, Jackie is shown to fall from the top of a building as part of a stunt. He's meant to land on an airbag to cushion his fall, but instead he misses and lands head-first on concrete, resulting in this trope.
- Actual Pacifist: Brandy does nothing in her fight against Courtney, not even in self-defence.
- Ass Kicks You: Early on in the fight, Roseanne launches herself into the air from the ropes, and crushes Kelsey's head with her butt.
- Bears Are Bad News: Courtney is mauled by a vicious (but justified) Mama Bear when her cub is taken.
- Big Eater: Not only does Roseanne manage to devour Kelsey Grammer whole, but Kelsey also discovers a whole bunch of random items inside her stomach, ranging from Spanish gold to random pieces of junk.
- Big Sleep: The only way that Brandy can comprehend her situation, after Stacy has to remind her that she is fighting to the death.
- Boob-Based Gag
- The Cameo: This episode features an appearance from Chuck Norris as the guest referee in the main event.
- Compliment Backfire: Brandy tells Courtney that she loves the outfit she's wearing. Courtney responds by tearing some of it off and blindfolding her.
- Crowbar Combatant: Jackie knocks Van Damme down in what looks like one swift blur. However, when the footage is slowed down, it's revealed that he actually leaves the ring, enters the parking lot, grabs a crowbar from the trunk of a car, returns to the ring and hits Van Damme over the head with it.
- Extreme Omnivore: Roseanne is implied to be this.
- Flaying Alive: Roseanne has Kelsey pinned to the floor outside the ring and refuses to release him, so Mills gives Kelsey 5 minutes to break free or he will be disqualified. At the end of the time limit, Kelsey manages to break free by breaking out of his own skin.
- Getting Eaten Is Harmless: After Roseanne swallows Kelsey, Johnny comments that she must be planning on having her stomach acid deal damage. However, there's not a single drop of liquid inside her when the scene switches to Kelsey's perspective.
- Green-Eyed Monster: According to pre-fight discussions, the reason why Courtney wants to fight Brandy is because Courtney is jealous that she wasn't cast for the lead role in Cinderella.
- Grievous Harm with a Body: Jackie Chan uses the corpse of Chuck Norris to defend himself against Van Damme, and eventually decapitates him with Norris' arms.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: Before he can officiate the fight, Chuck Norris is kicked in half by a confused Van Damme.
- Heavy Sleeper: At some point after pinning him to the ground outside of the ring, Roseanne falls asleep on top of Kelsey. She presumably somehow sleeps through the entire fight between Brandy and Courtney, including a ring-side interview with the latter, and a wild animal roaring and ripping Courtney to shreds. She even sleeps through the alarm clock that Mills had set.
- Heel–Face Turn: Courtney's hatred towards Brandy diminishes when she is gifted a bear cub as a token of friendship.
- Hollywood Heart Attack: After waking up and seeing Kelsey completely void of any skin, Roseanne suffers a heart attack and dies on the spot.
- I Didn't Mean to Kill Her: Brandy says that she didn't mean for Courtney to get killed the way that she did.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Kelsey is eaten alive by Roseanne during their fight. It's also implied that Roseanne has eaten other people before, judging by the pile of skulls that Kelsey finds in her stomach.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Kelsey escapes from underneath Roseanne by having his skin detached from the rest of his body, and is reduced to a literal walking mass of muscle, organs, and bone. The only reaction he gives (other than scaring Roseanne to death) is to wrap his skin around him like a towel and simply walk away.
- Mama Bear: Brandy gifts Courtney a bear cub during the fight, and it actually convinces Courtney to let her live. Moments later, the actual mama bear enters the arena, corners Courtney, and proceeds to maul her.
- Matchlight Danger Revelation: After being Swallowed Whole by Roseanne, Kelsey lights a match to find that there are a pile of human skills piled up inside her stomach.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Brandy is heartbroken that her gift to Courtney is what actually gets her killed.
- Not Quite Dead: While it's presumed that Courtney is mauled to death by a bear, it's revealed two seasons later that she actually survives the attack.
- Off with His Head!: Jackie manages to decapitate Van Damme using Chuck Norris's dismembered arms.
- Spin Attack:
- Kelsey performs one which, in turn, sends Roseanne into a spinning frenzy against her control and allows Kelsey to repeatedly knock her into the ring posts.
- Van Damme also utilizes one of his own - the Belgian Helicopter - which consists of him spinning around on his hands and using his legs to swing and kick Jackie Chan in rapid motion.
- Swallowed Whole: Roseanne does this to Kelsey during their fight.
- Teeth Flying: Courtney manages to knock out some of Brandy's teeth.
- Timed Mission: Mills gives Kelsey 5 minutes to escape from Roseanne's pin, otherwise he will be disqualified.
- And even when that time runs out, Mills gives him an extra 5 seconds.
- Uvula Escape Route: Kelsey manages to escape from Roseanne's stomach by punching her uvula repeatedly.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Van Damme is only wearing a pair of green pants during his fight.
