Richie is enjoying a quite night in when Eddie comes home drunk. Richie had given him £1.75 for two fish suppers which he spent at the chemist's. Eddie goes to cupboard and swigs a bottle of bleach. Richie drags him upstairs and into bed when he hears noises downstairs, the house is being robbed.
Eddie and Richie catch one of them and discover his stash of gold and silver items. The two plan to sell it all and leave to the Bahamas, but they can't leave the burgular. Eddie suggests killing him and goes to the roof to get some pigeon poison.
The come to investigate a burglary call and decide to call it off thinking it was a party. To stop the police finding him Eddie sellotaped the burglar to the ceiling, but they can't get him down. Another burglar arrives and knocks the two out. They wake up to find everything gone including their clothes.
- Bawdy Song: Richie sings this version of The Sailor's Hornpipe:Do your balls hang low?
Can you swing 'em to and fro?
Can you tie 'em in a knot?
Can you tie 'em in a bow?
Do you get a funny feeling when they're hanging from the ceiling?
Oh you'll never be a sailor if your balls hang low!
- Bring Me My Brown Pants: When they realise they're being burgled.Richie: What should we do?Eddie: Shit our pants?Richie: I've done that.
- Comically Missing the Point: Eddie has a couple.Eddie: Out of the way, punk. I'll shoot the lock.Richie: Eddie, do you want to be skinned alive and buggered?Eddie: (points gun at Richie) I'd like to see you try!Richie: Not me, I'm talking about the burglars! They'll hear the gun.
Eddie: Did you see Emmerdale Farm last night?Richie: Eddie, a word. It's the wrong question.Eddie: Do you think he's more of a Brookside man?
- When 'questioning' the burglar.
- Drunk with Power: The two catch a burglar in their flat, who they sit on, tie to chair with Sellotape and try to poison. It completely backfires.
- Groin Attack: The burglars leave Richie and Eddie's nadgers in a pair of mousetraps with a note bearing 'Sue Carpenter'. Reality Ensues.
- Non Sequitur, *Thud*: Eddie knocks back some bleach.Eddie: Taxi! The Copacabana! (faints)
- Nose Shove: Richie sticks an entire pencil up Eddie's nose. It stays up there for the rest of the episode.
- Police Brutality: Visiting coppers give Richie a whack on the head on their way out.
- Wire Dilemma (variant):Q: Which mug has the poison in?
A: The yellow one!