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Reality Ensues / Web Original

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  • McSweeney's is fond of that sort of thing.
  • A Quora poster here gives a lengthy answer on what would happen if someone tried being Batman in real life. To nobody's surprise, it ends with the would-be vigilante getting shot and arrested.
  • An answer on Yahoo Answers had a similar concept — wherein someone explains that in real life, a Tsundere who acts all "Tsuntsun" to people would mostly just be seen as a total dick by most people, given the Silent Treatment to get them out of their lives, and would pretty much be a shut-in because nobody would ever want to speak to someone who acts so aloof towards everyone.
  • This Cracked article lists a number of humorous hypothetical examples, imagining what sort of films fictional characters would watch.
  • This artist on Deviantart is one of those "realistic Pokémon" artists that goes the extra mile to explain the biology of certain Pokémon:
    • Why does Remoraid (a remora) evolve into Octillary (an octopus)? Juvenile Octillary use mimicry to look like Remoraid, and hang with Mantine and other large Pokémon for protection.
    • Why does Clamperl (a bivalve) evolve into either Huntail or Gorebyss (both fish)? They're actually Shellder the two species kill and hollow out to use as incubators for their eggs.
  • The gif image Martial Arts v.s. Modern Arts. If you do those martial arts moves in front of a gunman as an Intimidation Demonstration, you're just going to get shot.
  • In Duckyworth's review of Mulan II, he addresses the film's blatant Esoteric Happy Ending (where Mulan gets the 3 princesses out of an Arranged Marriage meant to craft an alliance to improve the forces against a incoming Mongol invasion, and gets away with it in the end) by writing another ending where everything goes to hell:
    The next day, the Emperor is highly disappointed in his three daughters and they get known as disgraces to their family and to their homeland for being partially responsible that the alliance between two kingdoms did NOT go forward, Mulan is stripped of her title of honor for being the one who filled their heads with that 'follow your heart' rubbish which resulted in dooming the union and Mushu pushes around the ghosts of the ancestors before they eventually get tired of his selfish egocentric actions and kick him out - they throw him underneath a moving cart and he was squashed into Chinese roadkill. The day after THAT, with no alliance to stop them, Mongols invade China, kill millions, and in their last breaths, the princesses, comic relief soldiers, Mulan and Shang realize (sic) that the princesses should have taken part in the arranged marriage after all, and their stupid selfish actions doomed China. THE. END.
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  • In this Not Always Learning story, a principal decides to fund his daughter's wedding with his teachers' salaries, which would result in them working for two months without payment. The principal then ignores their protests, unable to understand why they would object. The teachers proceed to quit in disgust, and the students walk off in protest once they learn what the principal proposed. Without teachers or students, the school closes down. And since the principal still doesn't have the money he needed, his daughter's wedding is ruined and this destroys his relationship with his daughter and wife.
  • The Onion: Romantic Comedy Behavior Gets Real Life Man Arrested
  • Orion's Arm defies Rock Beats Laser by depicting the technologically superior foe (as opposed to Insufficiently Advanced Aliens) as fundamentally unbeatable by the lower one barring severe extenuating circumstances, going into great detail about the trope and why it simply can't work.
  • Played for Laughs with one of 1d4chan's home brewed Space Marine chapters, The Reasonable Marines. They act like normal soldiers focusing on stealth and efficiency, trying to avoid combat unless needed, and actually trying to be diplomatic with aliens instead of shooting them on sight. The joke is they are the only sane group in a universe filled with nothing but Rule of Cool and Crazy Awesome lunatics.
  • The Protectors of the Plot Continuum have a room dedicated to making this happen to Sue-perpowered and ill-thought-out OCs. Drank twenty-two bottles of rum in a short span? The Reality Room gives realistic effects on the body. A military recruit with a disdain for authority? Drill Sergeant Nasty is only the beginning. Sue made passionate love shortly after a severe flogging? Hoo boy.
  • Some Creepypastas take a realistic look at what would happen in such scary stories.
    • This take on the Jeff the Killer creepypasta shows about how well a teenager with grievous recently self-inflicted facial injuries like massive incisions to the face and burned eyelids would fare as a killer. He fails to kill his last two intended victims, and his wounds become severely infected, resulting in sepsis and death.
    • Russian Sleep Experiment ends with the final remaining test subject getting a dose of this. The subject threatens the researcher trapped with him that he has now become the sum total of all that humans fear. The researcher, in response, simply pulls out a gun and shoots the subject dead. Terrifying or not, the subject was still human.
    • Mickey's Best Friend is a good example of how people would really react to a "lost" episode of a normally family-friendly story with dark and disturbing subject matter — the titular Mickey Mouse short of Mickey performing a lobotomy on a dog friend of his, turning him into Pluto is universally panned by critics, it doesn't affect anyone badly beyond giving them nightmares, Moral Guardians immediately demand that the short be banned due to the way it scared their kids and the whole thing becomes a massive Old Shame for Walt Disney and everyone else involved in making it.
  • This picture shows what would really happen if you really ran into gold rings at high speed.
  • Sonny Gets Mad Scienced; a Genre Savvy geek gets kidnapped by a mad scientist for use in horrible experiments that have killed — or worse — every one of his predecessors. He's going to use his trope knowledge to break free and save the day before the experiment, right? ... Right?
  • One of the general themes of The SCP Foundation is pointing out the horrific consequences of characters and plot devices with fantastic abilities, powers, or properties.
    • As a general rule, if an SCP has the ability to transform other things/beings, it won't ignore the aspects of the transformation that would ordinarily be solved with a Hand Wave, leading to a lot of entries that invoke Transformation Horror.
    • One particular example of the above is SCP-1575, a Venus fountain that gives any water filtered through it mutagenic properties, which allows it to transform animals into humans. Thanks to the device's direct violation of the Square-Cube Law, the majority of these animals don't survive the process and the few who do rarely complete a full transformation. Non-mammalian animals are even less lucky, due to fundamental differences in their biology when compared to humans (an example given by the test logs is a parrot who died when 60% of her skeleton shattered due to being unable to keep up with the rest of her body). The test logs describe only three animals that completed a transformation without dying first—female grizzly bear, who underwent a complete transformation with few problems; a male white-tailed deer, who underwent a mostly successful partial transformation, though at the cost of severe hemorrhaging in his pelvis that implicitly led to his genitals atrophying; and a very unfortunate zebra, whose front legs and jaw structure stayed the same, giving her severe problems before she was Mercy Killed. And parasites on or inside the animals get affected too... the results aren't pretty.
    • The story of the first owners of SCP-1958. Excited to have a bus that can travel in space, they set off to colonize the stars. Unfortunately their space bus doesn't actually go any faster than it did on Earth, and they either ignored this issue or didn't realise the mistake the man who put it together had made until it was too late. Said realisation came after two of the crew had died and the remaining two people were suffering from scurvy. The driver realized they barely made it to the Moon. And they were already too far gone to get back to Earth.
    • SCP-871, self-replicating cakes. Every 24 hours, for every such cake either still around or recently eaten by a human, another instance will appear; if a cake is destroyed by any means other than a human eating it, another one will appear immediately. Limitless free cake! Sound great, right? Except that there's no way to ever decrease the number of cakes. If the number of cakes ever increases to an amount where they replicate faster than humanity can eat them, all life on Earth will quickly be extinguished and eventually either turn into a black hole from the increasing mass, or engulf the galaxy and then universe in replicating cakes. 871 is a good shout for being the most potentially destructive, yet easily contained object on the site.
    • SCP-1470. A telepathic spider that was only in Foundation captivity for four months. The reason? That's how long spiders of his species live. The spider has been classified as "Neutralized" because it died of natural causes.
    • SCP-572 is a katana with a memetic effect that makes anyone holding it think they have Implausible Fencing Powers. They actually don't, and the katana itself is cheap and impractical, but the idea gets to their head and causes them to severely injure themselves trying to invoke Rule of Cool.
    • When investigating SCP-2407, they investigated someone for unusual behavior, which was then revealed to be a "non-anomalous mental disorder". Turns out with all that they investigate, they're gonna encounter some false positives.
    • An organization devoted to containing Eldritch Abominations and keeping the public unaware of them will have to do horrible things to do so. A prominent example: they "acquire" death-row inmates for the dangerous work, and those who survive are generally killed at the end of the month, unless they're needed alive or can't be killed for some reason (often because something worse happened).
    • SCP-1911 is an unusual entity that takes the form of a self-replicating old woman who wants to "take care of" young men, usually masquerading as said man's grandmother. When pushed to her limits, she will try to force her way into a man's house, usually in multitudes of 30 or more. Thing is, this fails more often than it succeeds, as the entity has the average strength of an ordinary elderly human woman. The one time the instances were able to overpower a man who was fighting back, it was because he had fallen off of a roof and broken his leg.
    • SCP-1689, a burlap sack of potatoes that is Bigger on the Inside and can provide an endless amount of potatoes. The SCP was recovered from a small village in Siberia who, due to not having any contact with the outside world and not having any surrounding farmland, used it as their sole food source. All of the villagers suffer from calcium and iron deficiencies as a result of eating nothing but potatoes for over a century.
    • As another general rule, Reality Benders generally tend to go completely insane and go Jumping Off the Slippery Slope due to them suddenly possessing ridiculous amounts of power, using it to get their way with everything they want in life. But as Dr Clef will remind you, a simple shot to the head when they aren't looking or paying attention works wonders.
  • In the backstory of Magnet Magnus: Reset, The USA bans superheroes, leaving the country defenseless against supervillains.
  • This fan written fight between Johnny Cage vs John Cena shows that no matter how strong and awesome you are in real life, you can never take on many strong characters from fiction or other realities, due to the fact they can do lots of things impossible in standard real life. As this is what happened with John Cena, who can't kick out at all after he died. To get the idea, WWE, while awesome, is pure entertainment and harms are often treated with care if done. On the other hand, Mortal Kombat is literally the exact opposite and death is literally a common sight. Bring a WWE wrestler against a Kombatant and the wrestler would wind up crying trying to beat the Kombatant and die in the end just because he never kills. The writer even agrees to a comment that Mokap has a chance to defeat Chuck Norris in real life, with one fact that he is physically stronger than Chuck Norris.note 
  • Similarly, this fan-written Twilight Sparkle vs. Misuzu Kamio fight shows that being strong and awesome in a Doujin fighting game doesn't work if you're unsuitable for real combat in your source material. Just ask Misuzu... Oh wait, you can't because Twilight vaporized her completely. The writer even states he doesn't want another Death Battle involving Eternal Fighter Zero characters (or any rematches for Misuzu) for this very reason.
  • This manga shows how things would really go down if an average guy found himself in an isekai: he can't speak the language; his Earth money is no good; and the area around the town is overrun with monsters, making it dangerous to head out into the wilderness without proper equipment, but powerful weapons and stout armour are expensive, so he is forced to get a job washing dishes at the local tavern in order to earn enough money to start adventuring. After half a year, he finally has enough money to start out on his journey, but he can't bring himself to leave the environment he's in now because he's too scared of his new surroundings. In short, even after coming to an alternate world, he's still a wage slave.
  • And this one shows that in reality, it would not be so great for the hero to have his all-female party instantly falling in love with him: after the fighter of the party is attacked by a tentacled monster, she gets upset at the hero for accidentally looking at her panties, only for him to call her out on wearing a skirt despite being a melee character who is going to be moving around a lot, as well as yelling at the monster for attacking by sliding a tentacle across the fighter's body, when it should be taking a battle against enemies coming to kill its boss seriously. Then when he apologizes to the fighter for seeing her panties, and offers to have his memory erased, the party cleric and magic-user immediately fall in love with him and ask him to be their husband, only for him to snap at them for asking a guy they just met to marry them and not having enough self-respect to understand how cute they are, before pointing out that their thinking that he's the best guy they’ve ever met implies that they've only met lowlife jerks up until that moment, and that they should try meeting more people and their families before asking people to marry them.
  • Void Domain:
    • A Wizarding School in the American Northwest is subject to numerous magical disasters, zombie attacks, demon battles, apocalyptic invasions, magic nuns, and every time, it's mentioned that parents are pulling their kids out, or keeping them home until the situation is resolved. The school staff come under fire from parents and media, and administrators get fired multiple times. Eventually, the repeated disasters take a toll and the school is closed and the town shuts down.
    • Brakket is located in what is basically a college town full of Muggles. Muggles who are generally pissed off when things destroy their homes or businesses. A conflict with the Elysium Nuns in one of the books is resolved largely when a mob of townsfolk with Torches and Pitchforks show up and drive them out of town because they're mad at how dangerous things have gotten.
  • This image of the 260 kilometer long (for perspective, the Death Star was only 160km in diameter) Star Destroyer Freudian Nightmare. The attached report is Deconstructive Parody calling out all the issues that would come from it, including that scaling up the bridge would leave a three kilometer tall weak point, that it would take days to get from one end to the other, necessitating that the crew set up camps at their stations, which has its own problems, and the logistical difficulty of sending supplies and communication.
  • Whateley Universe: As multiple characters (namely Fey, Imperious and Majestic) find out, even if you are the avatar of a god, queen or other powerful figure, that means precisely nothing in the modern world, where you are a citizen like everyone else, subject to the same rules and laws. As a result, should you try to operate on your own terms, things will not go well for you. Fey specifically finds that while defending yourself is fine, there's a limit on how far you can go before you cross the line from defense to assault, and if you cross that line, it may well have serious consequences.
    • A Single Fold starts with Folder getting called over to Security because they've found out who attacked him a while ago. Most of the security personnel are happy that they've got the evidence needed to get the bully punished; Folder is not, because he knows that the bully will just come after him again later for revenge, even though Folder didn't report it or tell Security anything.
    • No matter how powerful someone is, power comes at a cost, as Fey and Tennyo find out: in the former's case, her power comes from ley lines, which are powered by nature, so all the fights she's got into resulted in her unknowingly pulling more Essence from the ley lines than was sustainable, killing off forests and animals in nearby areas. As a result, she's had to keep a close eye on what spells she uses to make sure she doesn't kill anything else. In the latter's case, her power has severely irradiated places she's battled in without her knowing it, so she now wears a bracelet with a device attached that can detect radiation levels.
    • In one of Team Kimba's simulated missions, they have to cross a room full of magma. Since everyone on the team can either fly or be carried by a flier, Tennyo suggests that they just fly over the magma to the other side. Phase then bluntly points out that even though they're high above the magma, the air is so hot that it'd kill them all, including Lancer (whose PK field would let the super-hot air in), Tennyo (who is almost invincible), and Shroud (who doesn't even have a living body). As a result, they have to use magic to safely cross.
      • During the boss fight, Tennyo accidentally blows up the villain's teleporter. The group use magic to escape, but later, when Tennyo calls herself out for destroying the teleporter, Phase points out that they needed to use magic anyway because for all they knew, the teleporter could have been set to teleport them into the magma.
    • Murphy can teleport, and does it quite a lot in Even Murphy Has Loopholes. Problem is, teleporting takes a lot of energy, and she does it so much in the early parts of the story that it causes her to drastically lose weight. By the end of the story, even though she starts eating more, it only takes one emergency to send her into total cellular starvation.
    • While being the avatar of a Fae Queen may sound awesome, as the Kodiak explains, Fae Queens were cold, heartless and malicious, and having one in her head was slowly making Fey become arrogant, self-righteous and cruel, to the point that it takes said Queen finally dying and a pep talk from the Kodiak for Fey to be able to realize just how bad Aunghadhail's influence was on her.
    • A lot of mutants, most notably Energizers, are forced to eat more than normal because of their mutations. Not only is this not something they have any control over, there's multiple scenes when an Energizer (normally Tennyo) draws attention to themself because of how much they're eating. It's also caused problems for people who can't get enough food when they need it, or can't afford it- for example, in their backstory, while Jericho's family were happy to shelter Diamondback as she changed into her snake form, they couldn't afford to feed her as much as she needed for over a month, especially since she became unable to eat vegetables.
    • In the Whateley 'verse, having a Kid Sidekick has been outlawed for decades. Why? Because when you send a kid into battle against super villains, they more often than not get maimed or killed.
    • Some mutants have a DFA ("Deadly Force pre-Authorized") put on their official ID card by the MCO, meaning that they can be killed by any law enforcement officer for the most minor crimes. There have been a few attempts by various persons to have the DFA removed, but all of them are stuck in the court systems under miles of red tape. However, when it's brought to the attention of various powerful persons that the MCO has been putting DFAs on the cards of minors with no criminal records without due process, the entire MCO offices in two cities (as well as other agents from around the US) get arrested for civil rights violations and conspiring to murder children.
    • Mutants who develop their powers and immediately go out to try to play superhero tend to be complete disasters: they have no idea what they're doing, and as a result sometimes end up accidentally causing considerable amounts of property damage, along with occasionally accidentally killing or maiming both the supervillains they're fighting and the innocent bystanders.
    • Reach has Rubber Man powers, but what he doesn't have (at least at first) is super strength- so sure, he can make his arm 15 feet long, but when he does, it's so floppy it's completely useless.
    • By the time of the second generation, the Knights of Purity have been taken out of existence- but not by vengeful mutants or government action. Instead, they got sued into bankruptcy after fucking with the wrong company. After all the crimes they committed, it was only a matter of time- once the first lawsuits were won, the precedent gave every other victim what they needed to start getting their own revenge.
    • Whenever someone- hero or villain- personally wrongs the Imp, her response is usually to publicly humiliate them in a way that either delivers a massive blow to or completely destroys their reputations, often reveals their civilian identities, and occasionally kills their careers. Since she's been in the business for three decades, it's not too surprising that there's a lot of people who want revenge, and some of them team up and come after her for payback.
  • In the What If? entry "Spent Fuel Pool" Randall Munroe explores the physics-based answer to how safe it is to swim in a nuclear reactor's spent fuel pool. Because water is a good insulator against radioactivity it's pretty safe if you stay away from the casks. He then poses the question to a friend who works at a research reactor.
    Randall's friend: In our reactor? You’d die pretty quickly, before reaching the water, from gunshot wounds.
  • The Street Fighter fan film Balrog: Behind the Glory examines the consequences of a Sucksessor in its final minutes. After M. Bison's death, Balrog takes over Shadaloo. He promptly runs it into the ground.
    Jibril Albacara: So the most formidable shadow syndicate in the world transformed into a petty gang.
  • In episode 4 of Every Faggot Ever, the faggot starts making claims of how he and his army of atheists are going to shoot up the school, which a student tells him sounds like a legitimate threat. The faggot tries hiding behind the First Amendment to justify his saying such things, and it just gets him in trouble with the school security guard.
    • In episode 5, after returning a woman's purse after she dropped it, the faggot then starts coming on to her. When she rejects him, he accuses her of being a "friend-zoning slut" and starts protesting in the (largely empty) cafeteria. The woman reports him to a policeman, who hauls him off for sexual harassment.


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