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Radio / Welcome to Our Village, Please Invade Carefully

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Radio sitcom from The BBC about an alien invasion in the Home Counties. Geonin commander Uljabaan sets up a small-scale invasion to observe human beings ahead of a full invasion, placing the Buckinghamshire village of Cresdon Green under a force field with a Perception Filter to make the rest of the world forget its existence. So how do the residents of Cresdon Green respond? They keep calm and carry on, naturally. Nobody seems that bothered by the fact that they're cut off from the outside world, or by the prospect of Earth being taken over by aliens. Except for a small resistance movement...


  • Aliens Speaking English: Uljabaan and The Computer speak English, but the minions only speak their own alienese.
  • As You Know: Between Katrina and Richard, the background of the invasion is neatly summed up in the first scene of the pilot.
  • Backup Twin: When The Computer is destroyed by the Logic Bomb described below, it is simply replaced with another one exactly the same.
  • Big Sister Mentor: Katrina seems to see herself as this to Lucy. She's not generally very good at it, though she does manage to coach Lucy through her A-Levels.
  • Computer Virus: In "Ctrl-Alt-Del", we see one from The Computer's point of view.
  • Cunning Linguist: Lucy, possibly. She seems able to understand the minions' language and later passes an A-level in Spanish, suggesting Hidden Depths in this area.
  • Cutting the Knot: When Katrina and Lucy come up with a plan that involves breaking into the mansion Uljabaan has comandeered as his HQ, Lucy is sent to case the joint for possible ways in. She returns, and states the simple solution: break a window. Which is what they do.
  • Delicious Distraction: Uljabaan and his minions are extremely partial to Supreme Chef Margaret's cakes. In "Counter Plot", she is able to distract the entire cohort of minions with a spread of cakes. It also "works", though not in the way Katrina was hoping, in "Little Green Lights". She tries to get the invasion derailed by informing Uljabaan's superior that the "human infant" he is eating is in reality essentially meat loaf wrapped in Parma ham, pissing him off enough to call the whole thing off. It backfires because the superior actually greatly prefers it to the stringy, gamy, fatty, and in one instance poisonous, genuine native infants he has eaten, and so has Uljabaan stay in Cresdon Green for another year to do more research, and having Lucy pack him a doggy bag.
  • Faux Affably Evil: Uljabaan, though there are occasional suggestions that he's really a Punch-Clock Villain who Became The Mask and is really Affably Evil underneath.
  • Idyllic English Village: Set in a village in Buckinghamshire.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: A Geonin tradition when commanding officers come to a conquered planet for the first time is to take a native infant, roast it and eat it at a massive banquet. Needless to say, Katrina and Margaret are not particularly keen on the idea. Neither is Uljabaan, and so he and Margaret concoct a fake baby for his superior to chow down on. Lucy is disgusted after having eaten one of the "baby's" fingers to find that the fingernail is celery, only to learn that she may or may not have remembered that the "baby" was a fake.
  • I'm Standing Right Here: In the opening scene, Katrina refers to the Geonins as malign, manipulative thugs without morals and her father tries to calm her down. This being radio, we don't realise that Uljabaan is in fact, sat right next to them.
  • Kid Sidekick: Lucy (17) to Katrina (34).
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall:
    • When Lucy uses The Computer to Skype the outside world, she finds nobody believes her story. The Computer says it would help but everyone would think it was just an actor putting on an alien computer voice.
    • In another episode, Katrina and Lucy contemplate using one of the minions working on a secret construction project outside the force field to sneak a copy of the village newsletter to the outside world. They abandon the idea for various reasons, one of which is that even if they got the newsletter out there and read, the perception filter has made everyone forget about the village - so whoever picked it up and found their hidden message about the alien invasion would just think Cresdon Green was a fictional location made up for a sci-fi series.
  • Logic Bomb: The Computer can handle anything you throw at it... except the Duckworth-Lewis Method, which causes it to completely burn out.
  • Loud of War: In "Taking Overs", Uljabaan finally stops an argument between Katrina and Margaret that is stealing the thunder from one of his public announcements by switching over from the village's PA system to the much, much more powerful PA system on his ship note . When Richard shows up late and asks what he missed, Katrina says "Only tinnitus..."
  • The Resistance: Main characters Katrina and Lucy. The working title under which the show was originally announced was, yes, The Resistance.
  • Retcon: In the pilot, Katrina's dad Richard was the local vicar, but this was never mentioned again and it's suggested he has (or rather had) some kind of office job outside the village.
  • Serious Business: The residents of Cresdon Green may not object to being isolated from the outside world, or to the Geonin's plans to conquer Earth and enslave and/or kill all its people, but they do object to things like the aliens jumping the queue for an allotment, or (horror of horrors!) building a wind turbine.
    • Alien invasion or not, cakes are Serious Business for Margaret - to the point where a disagreement about which cakes should be sold at the village fete descends into violence. Every year.
    • In the very first scene of the show, the village council will not allow the recent alien invasion to be discussed because it is not agenda, and must wait until "Any other business."
    • Anything to do with Richard and Cricket in the episode "Taking Overs". He takes even the mere suggestion from his wife that they throw the game to be nice to Uljabaan as if she had just suggested human sacrifice, and at one point is shown to have Sir Swears-a-Lot tendencies (all covered through Sound-Effect Bleep) when even though he had an astounding at-bat, it wasn't good enough for him. He also tries to lie to Uljabaan about the regulation size of a cricket team just to mess with him.
  • Wunza Plot: One's a teenager with no goals in life beyond getting intoxicated on a regular basis, one's a charity worker who's old enough to be the first one's mother (though she doesn't like people pointing it out). Together, they put up a comically ineffective resistance to their alien oppressors!