In the grand tradition of Disney Channel Kid Coms, the writers The Suite Life of Zack and Cody have defied the Disney censors by inserting, sometimes subtly, sometimes blatantly, lines, references, and gags that some might consider entirely unsuitable for children.
On Deck takes this and throws any remaining subtlety out of the window. It's amazing the things they manage to slip past the radar, some of it would even put Dan Schneider to shame.
Examples of The Suite Life Of Zack and Cody
- "Fairest of Them All":Cody: It's like Christmas!Zack: I'm sweating in places I've never sweated before.
- "Who's the Boss?":Carey: I'm not Irish, and you're not getting lucky.
- "Foiled Again":Chef Paolo: Olive oil, virgin olive oil, extra virgin olive oil, olive oil with a questionable past...
Diego: He sticks me, I stick him back; we have fun!
Zack: They're getting you from both ends.
Diego: Diego is like a fine sports car! He can not just sit in the garage!
- Diego's excuse for cheating on his girlfriend with both London and Maddie:
London: Well mister "sports car"... you're about to get dead in your bumper.
- "Poor Little Rich Girl":Maddie: Now it's time to strip and make the bed.
London: (starts to unbutton pajamas) Okay, if that's what poor people do...
- The same episode has the twins accidentally watching a video of their mother giving birth to them. You don't actually see anything, but you can hear their mom crying out and Cody yelling "fast forward, fast forward!". They finally think they've fast forwarded to a safe part...until they realize there's another baby coming (as they're twins), and you can hear the nurse yell "PUSH!" and again Zack desperately trying to fast forward.
- "Twins at the Tipton":Zack: Dude, they're twins! Gorgeous twins. On vacation. What they do in Boston stays in Boston!
Moseby: (After knocking over a bulletin board set with plastic letters) Ohh. I landed on my A.
- In "The Odd Couples" we see a "Don't Be a ***" sticker on the door of Zack & Cody's bedroom, partially covered up.
- And only about three letters are covered. The "k" in the last word is clearly visible.
- "The Prince & the Plunger":Cody: We'd better work fast before Mom gets the urge for Serge.
Arwin: So I was leaning over a toilet, plunging...in and out, in and out, in and out...
- "Sleepover Suite":-
Cody: Nia, get me my ice cream smock. Zack, keep London in the bath.
Zack: (with enthusiasm as he heads toward the bathroom) I'll go get my snorkel!
- "Pilot Your Own Life". It has to be seen to be believed, but Zack and Cody have the following exchange while London and Maddie are having a cat fight:Cody: This is terrible! We have to stop them!
Zack: Not yet...
Cody: You're right Zack! This would be much better with pudding!
- And later...
Cody: Don't let fear in your cockpit!
- From the same episode:
Carey: Don't let what in your where?
- In "Super Twins", Cody starts staring and while he's really concentrating on an object (Since he got telekinesis) Zack asks "Oh dude, you got X-Ray vision didn't you?" while looking at a girl.
- "Lost in Translation":Cody: (Says something in a foreign language)
Maddie: (smiles) Okay, should I thank you, or slap you?
- One episode has London try to win back her boyfriend that dumped her for another girl by dressing up as a mermaid.Other girl: Well at least my seashells aren't fake!
London: Ow, I fell on my booty!note
- Also from that episode:
- "Kept Man":Maddie: I was up all night taking care of the baby.
Cody: What baby? I didn't even know you got married!
Maddie: Please Cody! I'm only 16. And I've never even kissed a boy.
Cody: Oh please! Save it for the nuns!
- "Fairest of Them All":Carey: Zack, why are you wearing a skirt?
Zack: I did it so we can win money for bikes.
Carey: (Looks very relieved) Oh, thank goodness!
- "Not So Sweet 16":Zack: Esteban, I need to talk to you.
Esteban: (horrified) Don't tell me you want to talk about the birdies and the bees!
Zack: Easy there, tiger, I already had that talk with my dad.
Zack: What was I doing when she said that?
- Then later when Zack is talking to Cody about when Maddie told them what she wanted for her birthday:
Cody: Staring at her and thinking about that talk we had with dad.
- In "Of Clocks and Contracts", Zack, acting as Carey's agent, tells Mr. Moseby that the only reason people see the shows in the lounge is because of the "glamor puss up there shaking her goodies." Made worse due to the fact that he was referring to his mother!
- He later gives her money for a candy bar, but tells her to only get one so her "goodies won't go bad."
- In "Arwinstein", Carey, dressed up as a corpse bride at a Halloween party, says that if she eats one piece of candy, her dress would pop right open. Immediately after, Arwinstein eagerly hands her a bowl of candy.
- In "Ah! Wilderness", Maddie comes to the Martins' suite while Carey is getting a massage. She tells Carey that a smart, handsome and rich boy has just asked her out. Carey asks "Does He Have a Brother?" The masseuse, a Sassy Black Woman, asks "Is he a brother?"
- The plot of one episode involved Zack and Cody accidentally making a peephole into a room full of girls. They eventually get caught but not before telling their friends and charging them to look through the hole (they don't really get to see anything, by the way).
- One episode has the twins hiding the hotel horse in their suite (long story) and it starts licking Carey across the face while she's asleep. She does some moaning and giggling before saying "Oh, Mr. Clooney, we hardly know each other."
- The second-to-last episode that marked the first appearance of the S.S. Tipton had a similar moment to the "Snakes on a Boat" episode. Once Carey learns they're only on the boat because she has to perform at almost every event (it was supposed to be a vacation), she presumably lets out one big string of swear words that are drowned out by the ship's horn.
- Some moments from "A Nugget of History":
Zack: That's why you should never keep a snapping turtle in your back pocket.
- The opening lines of the episode deal with Zack getting bitten *somewhere* by a turtle.
Maddie: (horrified) That is the last time I ask you what's new.
- London tells Maddie that she doesn't know what "air quotes" mean and tells her that she thinks that it's an obscene gesture. At the end of the scene, London manages to offend Maddie and as she walks off, Maddie uses the "air quotes" gesture towards her.
Examples of The Suite Life on Deck
- From the episode "The Suite Life Sets Sail":Cody: What about my essay on barnacle reproduction? I have pictures!
Woody: Can I see 'em?Zack: I'm going to study anatomy. Starting with (points at girl walking by) her.
(Carey glares at him)
Zack: ...as a... study partner!
Carey: (disbelieving) Uh-huh.
- From the episode "Beauty and the Fleeced":Moseby: Now I have a bunch of disappointed girls on my hands!
Zack: Oh come on... can't be the first time.
Zack: I wasn't going to fraternize until the third date.
- When Zack and Woody remind Marcus that he doesn't have any people anymore Marcus tells them "go fax yourselves".
- Also when Zack is a judge for the beauty pageant and Moseby tells him not to fraternize with a contestant
- When Zack and Woody remind Marcus that he doesn't have any people anymore Marcus tells them "go fax yourselves".
- Two from the episode "Double Crossed":Zack: But I didn't do i-
Moseby: But? 'But' will be confined to this room! You'll have to entertain yourself with whatever's in here!
Zack: (glances at Alex with a smirk, who is hiding from Moseby for pulling a joke) I think I can make that work.
(at the smoothie bar)
Alex Russo: So what do you recommend?
Zack: Me... with whipped cream.
- From the episode "Showgirls" (AKA: "Show & Tell"):Bailey: You went to the Starlight Follies to stare at scantily-clad women?
London: Nuh-uh, Tutweiler's keeping Moseby after school.
- This whole episode is getting crap past the radar. First of all, the boys are trying to sneak into a show where nobody under 18 is permitted. The dialog makes it come off as a live nude or stripper show. Zack even goes as far to say "tonight, we become men!" when they first try to get in. Second, Zack and Cody use sailor costumes to try to sneak into the show. This doesn't fool Kirby and he is able to recognize them. When Zack and Cody manage to sneak into the show anyways, the woman with the anklet (which turns out to be Tutweiller) dances around them. Now, if Kirby was able to recognize Zack and Cody, why didn't Tutweiller recognize them? Or did she really recognize them and decide to dance around her underaged students anyways? Third, the boys and Moseby are all shown to fantasize about Tutweiller with the sexy showgirl music in the background.
- Not to mention when London and Bailey go undercover as showgirls to find out if Ms Tutweiller was indeed one of the Showgirls or dating Mosby. Which means they had to be shown dressed in the skimpy outfits and perform a dance in front of an adult audience.
- From the episode "The Spy Who Shoved Me":Cody: How could you just give Smith up like that? Anyone can fake an ID, you've done it enough.
Zack: There's just something about her that made me believe her.
Cody: Goon, please.
- From the episode "Kitchen Casanova":Bailey: Oh, Woody, you're so strong and cut.
- From the episode "Rollin' with the Holmies":Marcus: Man, I love London!
Zack: Would you stop that? She's never gonna date you!
Marcus: I was talking about the city... though I'd love to take a tour of the other London.
- Also from that episode, Marcus mentions the time his pants fell off in front of 20,000 people during a performance in Madison Square Garden. If only he'd remembered underwear that day ...
- In the episode "Can You Dig It?" Zack wears an Indiana Jones-style costume for a television interview and demonstrates his whip, accidentally seizing the bikini top of a justifiably-horrified off-screen guest.
- From the episode "Family Thais":Zack: Y'know, I've got some math homework, too. Maybe you could come to my cabin and (air quotes) tutor me.
Sasha: Something tells me you already know too much.
- From the episode "Mom and Dad on Deck":Cody: (to Zack) Then use the turn signal and not the one you gave me when I told you to slow down!
Zack: I thought you met at one of Dad's rock concerts, when you threw your-(Kurt cuts him off as Carey glares)
- As their parents are explaining how they met:
- From the episode "Marriage 101":
Tutweiller: Congratulations, you have a child! Marcus, meet your parents!
- Zack says that Bailey and Cody should be spayed and neutered.
- When Woody and Addison get family on the wheel of life:
Addison: (excited) We have a baby?!
Woody: (shocked) How did this happen?!
Tutweiller: Sorry, that's a different class.
- From the episode "Model Behavior":London: That is such a load of shhhheer genius!
- In "Mother of the Groom" Zack clearly tried to order a stripper for Esteban's bachelor party. He instead gets a guy in panda suit.Zack: The card said, "Wanna party like a wild animal? Call Coco." When I said I wanted PANDA-monium, this is not what I had in mind.
- At the end of the episode "Seven Seas News", Cody and Bailey are found by Kirby while they're... having a little fun... on the Sky deck after curfew.
- From the episode "Starship Tipton":Zack: Where are all of your future descendants? It's probably cause no one ever wanted to have kids with you.
- It was implied that Moseby and E-E-E-E-Eyaahhh-Eyaahhh (or Eyaahhh for short) were going to have sex since they thought they were going to die. Moseby even wanted to take her back to his own time with him.
- From the episode in the Bermuda Triangle:Cody: (about college girls) You helped her with her math.
Zack: She held my calculator! I've never had so much fun multiplying with ANYBODY!
- From the episode "Splash and Trash", while Zack is talking to a girl with amnesia:Zack: You don't even remember me? I'm Zack, your boyfriend! Tonight you were finally gonna let me- (Grunt from Mr. Moseby) Taaaake you to dinner!
- Bonus points for Zack when he reached under her towel to see if she is a mermaid.
- The season three premiere "Silent Treatment" has a number of blatant penis jokes, lampshaded by Woody's giggling, involving Brother Theodore's "dinghy", which is apparently both small and leaky.
- In the same episode, after they talk during silence hour, they mention having had a "cruel and unusual punishment" for an hour that really hurt their bottoms, before stating that they had to sit in uncomfortable chairs and "think about what [they did]." Of course, the child viewer would assume the implication was that they were spanked...
- From the episode "Das Boots", Marcus is filling in for Cody during a game of chess. His opponent is a Russian female named Sasha:Sasha: Ha ha! You've exposed your bishop!
Marcus: I have?! Ugh, that's so embarrassing!
- In the episode "Senior Ditch Day" Miss Tutweiler is expecting to have no students for the day, and comes in to the classroom in a robe and carrying a romance novel. She finds Cody & Bailey there and gives them a nonsense assignment to distract them while she reads her novel. We see a fantasy sequence of what she is reading (guest starring Fabio himself as the male character.) Just as Miss Tuttweiler is about to kiss Fabio, she is interrupted and brought back to the real world by Bailey who says "Miss Tuttweiler, we finished our assignments!" to which Miss Tuttweiler replies "Well at least ONE of us got to finish."
- There are several scenes of the Romance Novel. One scene implies that Emma, playing the lead, and Fabio, playing the pirate, slept together and that the girl was a virgin.
- The Romance Novel ends with the girl being dumped right before her wedding. Emma shouts out, "The only romance novel in history where the heroine gets dumped!" Then she questions out loud why her mother sent her the novel. This line can lead the viewers' mind in many different directions.
- When going to play laser tag, Cody mentions that lasers are only fun when exciting an electron particle. Bailey says that that's the only thing he's ever excited.
- In the episode "Frozen", Zack, Cody and Woody get trapped in a research station in Antarctica for a week. Woody befriends a jar of mayonaisse and hears "voices" from "her". He says that she hates Zack because Zack tried to use her as a toilet. The reason? A very painful icicle incident outside. Also in the same episode Woody and Zack are bored and... just look...Dr.Cork: Check this out!
Cody: (gasps) Is that a sabertooth paramecium?!?!
Dr.Cork: Yeah! I call it Butch!
Woody: And I call this... Booriiing!
Dr. Cork: I'm trying to get them to reproduce.
Woody: And suddenly it gets interesting!
Scientist: I've already lost most of the fingers of my shaking hand.
- From the same episode (the boys went to shake his hand)
Scientist: I haven't entertained anybody in a long time. Well, there was that time with that lonely seal, but I'm not going to talk about that.
- In one episode, Mr. Moseby is recounting his failing to make the badminton team in high school:Mr. Moseby: I took a shuttlecock to the eye! (emphasis his)
- And all this is neglecting what has essentially become Bailey's Catchphrase:Bailey Pickett: What the "feathers"?
- In "Break Up in Paris", Bailey intimidates a boy by telling him she can castrate a bull with her bare hands.
- Kind of a Fridge Brilliance example in "My Oh Maya". Early in the episode, Cody wears a rubberband and snaps it every time he thinks about his ex Bailey. Later on, when Zack meets Maya, and tries to date her. She says she just wants to be friends with him. The scene then cuts to them walking away, and Zack is snapping his own rubberband while looking at Maya. What is it that he is trying so hard not to think about doing with her?
- Also in "My Oh Maya", Cody gives a worst case scenario about what Bailey is doing back in Kettlecorn. It involves her and her ex-boyfriend Moose getting cozy under the shelf in the barn, which Cody immediately stops to snap the aforementioned rubberband.
- "The Play's the Thing" gets a lot of crap past the radar:
- Cody is directing a play in which Bailey notices the play blatantly resembles Cody and Bailey's breakup. When she wants out, Cody says "...get back up on stage and shake your bon-bons" To which Bailey replies "I'm leaving, and I'm taking my bon-bons with me."
- In the play, Haley tells the audience that there are many men in Paris that she could shake her bon-bons for.
- In case there were any doubt about this, Cody-as-Haley actually shakes his chest at the audience (his dress is stuffed to give him fake breasts. Yes, it's that explicit).
- Cody, playing Haley, was noticeably willing to kiss Brody (Zack)
- At one point, London argues with Cody about her being a full moon. Towards the end of the argument, Cody says, "I'll give you a moon all right", turns around, and everybody knows where that was headed.
- Haley dying at the play's end, and, even more unusual for a Disney Channel Kid Com, it is completely Played for Laughs.
- After the play, Cody and Zack are talking when Cody comes to realize he was at least partially at fault for his failed relationship with Bailey. Zack then says, "Clearly you were a lot happier with her. And clearly less confused."
- In the episode where Cody joins "The Brotherhood of the Hooded Brothers" to get his mind off his break-up with Bailey, Zack and Woody want him to do a homework assignment for them. They follow him to his hideout and have no choice but to join the Brotherhood. They begin to cause trouble in the hideout, and Cody's fury begins to take control of him. At one point, he shouts, "YOU TWO CLOWNS FU--" just to be interrupted by their silence bell (when that sounds, they need to be silent for one hour).
- In one episode Cody says this:Cody: My right arm is stronger than my left. It's from tightening my microscope.
- In "Computer Date", Arwin mentions that when he gets lonely, his left hand becomes his best friend.
- After Bailey mentions her many siblings in an early episode:London: Wow... Your mom needs a hobby.
- In the episode "Snakes on a Boat", Moseby got a lot of crap past the radar:
Moseby: He got bitten and I had to suck the poison - Anyway, he's doing fine. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go boil my lips.
- Zack is bitten on the butt by a snake. Later we hear this:
Zack: I'm writing a thank you card to Mr. Moseby. What rhymes with buttocks?
- Right after this scene, we have Zack and Cody talking:
Cody: I don't even wanna know what this is about.
Moseby: "I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE [horn blares] SNAKES ON MY [horn blares] BOAT!!"
- Cody asks if he makes Bailey laugh. When she says no, and he asks about all the time she laughed at his jokes.Bailey: Yeah, see, I was faking it.
Cody: You were faking it?
Bailey: Don't worry, It's really hard to make me laugh.
Cody: Did Moose [her ex] make you laugh?
Cody: What about those times you went heheheohhehehe? It sounded so real.
Bailey: Yep, all fake.
- And at the end he finally gets her to laugh with the help of a GIANT SNAKE...
- Also from that episode, Cody tells Zack about the wonders of six as an answer to questions a girlfriend might ask (such as how many previous girlfriends he had or how he would rate another woman), even saying that he "loves six".
- "Prom Night":
Mr. Moseby: I was forced to land by a military helicopter, and then rescued by a particularly loathsome baboon. I'll spare you the rest of the details because after that it got real nasty.
- Cody gives Woody a large ham (not that kind) to practice kissing with. Woody happily declares Hamela Anderson to be his preferred type of girl..."sweet, tender, and baked."
Mr. Moseby: Now if you excuse me, I got to go wash the smell of baboon off of me.
- And then:
- From "Twister: Part 3":
Bailey: I'm not kissing that.
- Cody gets a splinter in his finger and Bailey kisses his finger and then he hurts his butt by falling and landing on something, which prompts Bailey to reply:
- Also there's a scene there that is a combination of radar and nightmare fuel. Zack and Woody try to stop Mr. Tipton to bulldoze down Bailey's home by pretending the construction on the farm has released a horrible fungal disease that has infected them. Zack come over and pretends to peel off skin (it's actually fake) and for a split second you see RED STUFF (it's fake, but STILL), then Woody comes and peels fake skin OFF HIS FACE! In fact, it looks like insides! How is this good for a kids show!?
- From the Graduation episode:
Zack: Hey, I have a speech too. Goodbye teachers, goodbye class, high school, you can --.
- (Cue Zack giving his speech and him being later cut off by Ms. Tutweiler.)
Ms. Tutweiller: Ok, thank you Zack!
- Mr. Mosby seemed quite turned on by the belly dancer in Morroco who did "The Dance of the Seven Veils" for him.
- During the episode "Das Boots", Cody calls his Russian Chess opponent a "cold какашка" which translates to a "cold piece of shit".
- From the the episode "International Dateline", they manage to sneak in a bra shot here, but that was short lived... Later airings blocked it with a piece of cloth that wasn't there in the first place.
- According to Zack, the only thing better than babes in bikinis are babes in bouncy castles.
- In "The Defiant Ones", Cody and Bailey were apparently having some sort of "fun" the night before (even acting real goofy in class the next morning), which is why Cody forgot to do his paper.
- Also, Mr. Blanket (the school psychologist) has a thing for old ladies wrestling in cole slaw.
- In one episode in which the kids are stranded on an island, Zack tells Bailey, "Nice rack." She thanks him until she realizes that he was referring to an actual rack that she made.
- In "When in Rome", Cody falls into a giant pot of tomato sauce and says this:I have tomato in places tomato should never be!
Examples from The Movie
- Earlier on we got this exchange:Cody: So, how close are you? (referring to his experiments with dolphins)
Scientist (Nervously) Just friends, why? What have you heard?