"Well, ignoring the highly suspect part where Fighter can block ethereal energy... and the more suspect where you have to cast every spell at once... and the grossly suspect part where I have to dodge explosions while I'm in them... There's the most suspect part where Black Mage can hit where he wants to."
— Thief, 8-Bit Theater
Jayne: This gonna work?
Mal: You ever known one of my plans not to?
[Beat]
Jayne: You seriously want me to answer that?
Mal: You ever known one of my plans not to?
[Beat]
Jayne: You seriously want me to answer that?
— Forward, Adrift chapter 7: "What Does That Make Us?"
"Oh good, a plan."
Mung: HOORAY for crazy schemes!
Chowder: HOORAY!
—Chowder, "The Flibber-Flabber Diet"
"Wes... they're doing it to me again..."
— Wedge Antilles realizes that Wraith Squadron is going Off the Rails again
Mike: Look, I think I have a plan here. Using mainly spoons, we dig a tunnel under the city and release it into the wild.
Sulley: Spoons.
Mike: (beat) That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot-air balloon, too expensive. Giant slingshot, too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse, too Greek.
Sulley: Spoons.
Mike: (beat) That's it, I'm out of ideas. We're closed. Hot-air balloon, too expensive. Giant slingshot, too conspicuous. Enormous wooden horse, too Greek.
Cora: You and your plans! Another World's Fair? Another Peer Gynt Festival? Why can't you think of a plan that will work?
Schub: This one will: it's unethical.
Cooley: Highly.
Cora (suddenly singing A Cappella): I didn't hear it! Don't tell me! (She speaks sharply) But do it! Now: how much is it going to cost?
Schub: Nothing.
Cora: I love it.
Schub: This one will: it's unethical.
Cooley: Highly.
Cora (suddenly singing A Cappella): I didn't hear it! Don't tell me! (She speaks sharply) But do it! Now: how much is it going to cost?
Schub: Nothing.
Cora: I love it.
Tomnote : Listen to this one: You open a company called the "Arse-Tickler's Faggots Fan Club".
Soap: You what?
Tom: You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-penetrating dildos. You sell it with, I dunno, "does what no other dildo can until now", "the latest and greatest in sexual technology", "guaranteed results or your money back", all that bollocks. Now, these dils cost twenty-five quid a prop. That's a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients. But they send their checks to the other company name- nothing offensive, er, "Bobby's Bits" or something- for twenty-five quid. You take that twenty-five quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears. Now, this is the smart bit. You send back the check for twenty-five pounds from the other company name, "Arse-Tickler's Faggots Fan Club", saying, "We're sorry, we couldn't get the supplies from America because they ran out of stock". Now, you see how many people cash that check: not a single soul, because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not cashing checks?
Bacon: So, how long do you have to wait until you see a return?
Tom: Probably no more than four weeks.
Bacon: A month?! So what fucking good is that if we need it in six- no, five days?!
Tom: Well, it's still a good idea.
Soap: You what?
Tom: You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-penetrating dildos. You sell it with, I dunno, "does what no other dildo can until now", "the latest and greatest in sexual technology", "guaranteed results or your money back", all that bollocks. Now, these dils cost twenty-five quid a prop. That's a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients. But they send their checks to the other company name- nothing offensive, er, "Bobby's Bits" or something- for twenty-five quid. You take that twenty-five quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears. Now, this is the smart bit. You send back the check for twenty-five pounds from the other company name, "Arse-Tickler's Faggots Fan Club", saying, "We're sorry, we couldn't get the supplies from America because they ran out of stock". Now, you see how many people cash that check: not a single soul, because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not cashing checks?
Bacon: So, how long do you have to wait until you see a return?
Tom: Probably no more than four weeks.
Bacon: A month?! So what fucking good is that if we need it in six- no, five days?!
Tom: Well, it's still a good idea.
