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Quotes / You Can't Thwart Stage One

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In the movies, there always has to be a plot twist. That means things always go wrong once before you get to the happy ending!
Viewtiful Joe, explaining why the villains are in good shape now.

No figuring out the plot and killing the actual villain five minutes into the adventure.

Aoede: So your grand plan, it’s not really a plan, it’s a juggler’s philosophy.
Kairos: I’ve no idea what you could possibly mean.
Aoede: First step always works, so always have a first step going.

Cucumber: If the bad guys need these stones to resurrect the Nightmare Knight, then wouldn't it make a lot more sense to get rid of them, and prevent any of this from happening at all?
Cabbage: What? No! What? That's IMPOSSIBLE!
Cucumber: ...But they're right here.
Cabbage: It's boring, then! You don't want to go down as the most boring legendary hero in history, do you?

Tarquin: You're a bard right? How many stories have you heard in which a single hero vanquishes a wicked empire?
Elan: I dunno... dozens, I guess.
Tarquin: What is the one thing they all have in common? The one fact that they all share?
Elan: The hero always wins!
Tarquin: Arguable. No, the one thing they all have in common is this : The wicked empire exists. It has existed for some time, and it will continue to exist if no hero intervenes. Don't you see Elan? The rules of drama to which you subscribe as a bard tell us that such tyrannies can exist — indeed, MUST exist — and persist long enough that no one realistically thinks that they can be defeated. Else, where is the drama in a hero opposing them?

Ahahahaha! FOOOOLS! While you were sucking up everything like a fat boy at a Golden Corral, I gathered all the Star Power in the universe and became G O D !
—- Marx, Something About, Something About Kirby Super Star

Great criminals bear about them a kind of predestination which makes them surmount all obstacles, which makes them escape all dangers, up to the moment which a wearied Providence has marked as the rock of their impious fortunes.
—-The Three Musketeers, Chapter 61

But the true secret in being a hero lies in knowing the order of things. The swineherd cannot already be wed to the princess when he embarks on his adventures, nor can the boy knock on the witch's door when she is already away on vacation. The wicked uncle cannot be found out and foiled before he does something wicked. Things must happen when it is time for them to happen. [...] The happy ending cannot come in the middle of the story.


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