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Quotes / You and What Army?

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"The Pope! How many divisions has he got?"
Joseph Stalin [to Pierre Laval, when urged to tolerate Catholicism to appease the Pope]

Director: I was not asking. If you do not return Player to me, I will come and take him by force.
Chet: Whatever bitch, how do you plan on doing that?
Director: With the army standing right outside your door.
Chet: Aw, fuck!

Green-haired girl: Hi, sorry about that. Can I have the frisbee back?
Man: NO.
Green-haired girl: Why not?
Man: Kids who can't control their toys shouldn't be playing with them.
Green-haired girl: minus, he won't give me the frisbee back.
Man: Why are you telling her for? Do you think your little friend will be able to take it from me? You and what army, kid?
[minus makes an army appear with her powers. The man sheepishly returns the Frisbee.]
minus: hee hee hee hee hee~ HA HA HA HA HA HA
Man: Huh? Um... well here's your frisbee kid. Sorry my... head got in the way again.
minus: Ask me if you think I can take it from you and then say, "you and what army" again!
Man: What? No, listen, take your stupid frisbee and stay the hell away from me alright?
minus, strip 98 (pictured on the main page)

Evil Chancellor: Seize the rebels!
Jack Rakan: You really think you've got the forces for that?
Chancellor: Do I have the necessary forces? You fool. The guards for this event are more numerous than those you see here. There are two entire fleets stationed over a surrounding area of tens of kilometres, not to mention elite troops numbering over three thousand. You may be powerful, but even you cannot...
[Ala Rubra powers up]
Jack Rakan: Like I said. Are you seriously telling me you think that's gonna be enough? *cracks knuckles*
Chancellor: Wh... What?!
[Ala Rubra starts small-scale war]

Chris: Dad, I tried to go to school but this guy won't let me.
Peter: Oh yeah? Him and what army?
Chris: The U.S. Army.
Peter: Oh. That's a good army.

Angelica: You and what army?
Suzie: [raises her arm] Me and THIS arm-y!

Messenger: He's marching south.
NiVom: Into Hypatia? He and what army?
Messenger: That's just it, my Tyr. Ours.

Ben: Oh yeah? You and what army?
Caster: [chuckling] Why, this one. [summons her skeleton minions]
Ben: I really have to stop jinxing myself.

Bully: You and what army?
Daniel: Who needs an army?

Ultron: This is the best I can do.
[hundreds of Ultron drones swarm the Avengers]
Steve Rogers: You had to ask...

Locus: Surrender now and I promise to only kill the mercenary.
Grif: You and what army?
Locus: [as Fed soldiers uncloak behind him] The Federal Army of Chrous.
Grif: Well, I guess I walked right into that one.
Red vs. Blue Season 11, Episode 17 "Ready...Aim..."

Tucker: Yeah. You and what army?
Temple: So glad you asked.
Surge: Reds assemble! Blues deploy!
[trumpets play as the Zealots enter]
Simmons: God damn it. Every time we say that they always end up having an army!
Red vs. Blue: Season 15, Episode 14 "True Colors"

"I was hoping you'd ask me that!"
Jack Spicer, responding to this question with an army of monkeys


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