Anime and Manga
I can only make Japanese snacks. I am a bullshit magician.
, in the Da Capo
that's what it is! Ma-Ti is the weakest one of all! Haw haw haw!
You see, I come from the planet Bismoll! Gradually, over a period of eons, microbes made all food there poisonous... Just as gradually, evolution transformed my race so we could eat anything without being harmed! I know what's on your mind! You're thinking!... "So he's an unusual freak! So what? That doesn't qualify him for Legion membership!" But you're wrong— No matter where or how a foe ever imprisons us, I could always eat our way to freedom!
"You make people happy. That's your superpower."
"Really? Gosh. That seems kind of cheesy," laughed SpongeBob
"What do you mean?" scowled Barnacle Boy, standing up straight and placing his hands on his hips indignantly. "I thought you of all people appreciated the power of friendship."
"Oh, I do," assured SpongeBob, "It's just... that's not a real superpower. I can't make water balls or assemble the creatures of the deep."
rarely used the power of super-hypnotism. It was more of a skill, developed by Superman
s teaching and reinforced by her super-brain and super-vision. Now, she decided it was time to give it a try.
... The spell we know as love. Harry: Lame!
Mister Midnight and Midnight Maid reached in their belt-pouches and came up with weapons. Chuck's was the blackout device, Joyce held the Torch. She activated hers a second before his and blasted the Poet's eyes with a ray of intense brightness. A second later, Chuck's gimmick projected a cone of blackness, engulfing their foe.
"Confound it!" griped the Poet, floundering about. "They didn't give me a power to deal with this!"
Film — Live-action
: You know the chickens are always ready to help you any way we can. But as you know... Squeezit
: What can chickens do? Chicken
: Adam... Adam, what's wrong? Adam
I'm a frog
The city is flying, we're fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow.
I couldn't believe it when I figured out your powers. I mean, could they be any more pathetic?
: I can't watch my performance in the pilot. Wil Wheaton
: But you're feeling so much pain! Sirtis
: (This is how they mock me.) LeVar Burton
: And sadness!
Who looks at a screwdriver
and thinks, "Ooohh, this could be a little more sonic
She has the power to turn people bald
?! That is rubbish
- (points around dramatically) Bald! Bald! Bald!
My power is so ridiculous.
Your superpower, Create Organizational Carts, makes you a born leader of superheroes.
Hey, wait a minute. Killing someone from long distance while making a loud noise? Isn't that the exact same power as a man with a gun
: [Doze] is slow. Caliborn
: THAT'S A HORRIBLE POWER. Caliborn
: HOW IS THAT EVEN A POWER. Andrew Hussie
: It just is.
: The Pain. His special ability was being covered in bees
: Zat's a special ability? Octopus
sure can't do it.
Killing Top Man
was the key to getting Mega Man's most useless Power-Up. The Top Spin took away all the barriers we'd put up between video games and figure skating
You have to give the creators of the newspaper Spider-Man
credit for always exploring new frontiers of total lameness on the part of their characters. In one corner, we have Big Time, a criminal mastermind so committed to his laughable clock theme
that he has some sort of clock-shaped pop-gun that spits out its minute hand as ammunition and is thus presumably useless after two shots; and in the other, we have the Amazing Spider-Man, who boasts of his 'spider reflexes,' which will help him dodge a projectile that hasnt managed to cover about three feet of space in the time its taken him to thought-balloon a sentence and a half only to have said reflexes completely disabled by a loud noise
. Determining the winner in this battle will be like a philosophical conundrum: can an object with no mass be moved by an infinitely weak force?
Magneto finally realizes that it was Cortez who launched the missile, trying to provoke Magneto into wiping out humanity. Magneto confronts him, but it turns out that hes grown dependent on Cortezs powers, which are
'the ability to bolster another mutants power.' So hes basically the s**tty class in an MMORPG
. No wonder hes so mad all the time.
So... basically, Ed's miracle machine turns people into salivating morons who think they're seeing floating fish. You know, Ed, you could have saved yourself a lot of time and effort and just given him a dose of LSD.
Meanwhile, the Jackal's recruitment drive continues
, this time hooking up with the Tarantula, a South American assassin with — get this — pointy shoes
which he uses to stun or drug his enemies by kicking them. He's actually cooler than he sounds, but not by much.
Despite a range of powers that extend to "bright lights that can hurt a bit," Jubilee
has been in every group and series with an "X" in the title except XXXtube (give it time)... They've tried for years to make her kick ass, equipping her with everything from graviton gloves through Pym Particles to antigravity plates. They even — no shit — turned her into a vampire, going so far as to transfuse her with Wolverine's blood. They even got rid of her stupid original powers, but it's a lost cause: If traumatic orphanization doesn't make you kick ass at fighting crime, nothing will. (Her main function is now as a living museum of the superheroic fashion mistakes.)
At my most bad-ass, I make people feel like they want to take a shower.
I'm just trying to figure out what I can do with a man whose weakness is room temperature.
He has the power to look like he's in the "Take On Me" music video and that is scary.
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT YOU SAVED YOUR RECEIPT FROM THIS TRANSACTION? PLEASE IMMEDIATELY RETURN YOUR VAMPIRISM BECAUSE THAT IS THE WORST SUPERPOWER OF ALL FUCKING TIME.
And he's got all sorts of other spells, but I seriously doubt the tickle charm is gonna help him much in the fight, so let's move on.
That kid got fuckin' screwed. That's not a power...Here's all my friends with these tangible cool fuckin' powers, and I get 'Heart'!" FUCK
... The spell we know as love. Harry: Lame!
: I have this crummy old heart. It could be anything.
Anti Timmy Force Four? Sounds villainous to me. Wet Willie:
Please tell me they're near a coastline. Dark Mark:
This Anti Timmy Force Four must be plotting to take over this galaxy. We must crush them! Wet Willie:
-or pool? Perhaps a fountain? Timmy:
What? No! They were my friends! Joan Jet:
That's what they wanted you to think. Dark Mark:
I'll press these randomly beeping and colorful buttons to track down their exact location. (presses buttons) Wet Willie:
A tub? A damp sponge? Throw me a bone, will you? A wet bone.
Maybe we should've given you a better super-power...
Zarm forces the Planeteers to have individual uneven "battles" against him. Ma-Ti:
(bursting into tears
) I cannot stop you, Zarm. My ring is the power of Heart, which allows us to love. Heart to care for our planet and friends. My ring will not touch you
because... you have no heart! Zarm:
) You fool! It's Heart that makes you weak
! So prepare yourself, weakling. (gets ready to kill Ma-Ti
Zan: Wait a minute, how come I always change into something lame like ice? I'm always a wave or a puddle?
Jayna: I don't know, Zan. This isn't the time or the place to get into this.
Zan: Well when are we gonna talk about it?! What kind of superpower do I really have?! I mean, when you get right down to it—!
Jayna: Zan, relax!
Zan: I can be beaten by a sponge! It wouldn't even have to be an evil sponge!
Jayna: Just drop it, Zan!