"I CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP!"
—Bo Burnham, "What Did I Do Last Night?"
"So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut..."
—Phoebe Buffay (quoting a typical Fun Bobby story), Friends
"You absolutely do not have permission to not remember the same things I don't remember especially when the results of your not remembering are so potentially life shattering!"
— Ash Upton, Misfile
Kryten: Oh, my goodness! Oh - oooh, my head. What happened to me? Damage control report! "Dehydration level: 45%. Recall of previous evening: 2%. Embarrassment factor: 91%! Advised repair schedule: reboot startup disk, offline for 36 hours and replace head". BOY, what a night! Ugh, is it just me or is that cockroach shuffling too loudly?
Rimmer: Kryten, it's called a hangover, don't panic.
Lister: We're on a mining ship, three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?
Cat: Hey, it's not a good night unless you get a traffic cone. It's the policewoman's helmet and suspenders I don't understand!
Rimmer: Kryten, it's called a hangover, don't panic.
Lister: We're on a mining ship, three million years into deep space. Can someone explain to me where the smeg I got this traffic cone?
Cat: Hey, it's not a good night unless you get a traffic cone. It's the policewoman's helmet and suspenders I don't understand!
— Red Dwarf, "The Last Day"
Oh my God! I woke up with a snake tattoo!
Oh my God! And I think that my tongue's pierced too!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
It's the Sunday morning after
And baby, who the hell are you?
Oh my God! And I think that my tongue's pierced too!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
It's the Sunday morning after
And baby, who the hell are you?
— Amanda Marshall, "Sunday Morning After"
"What did we do last night?"
—Finn, after he and Jake wake up in a pile of bananas in a jail cell in Hell, Adventure Time
Mal: [Upon hearing that he apparently got married during a big celebration party the previous night] How drunk was I last night?
Jayne: I dunno, I passed out.
Jayne: I dunno, I passed out.
— "Our Mrs. Reynolds", Firefly
Yes. Yes, this was a mistake. He'd made more mistakes than any man, woman, or child on the face of the earth, but this? This took the cake and threw it right out the window, screaming and crying as it jumped out after the cake.
Calm down, Ozpin. You just... okay, there's no real reason to be calm. You just slept with a terrorist and supercriminal that is trying to blow up your academy and presumably kill everyone inside of it. How drunk, exactly, were you? How drunk, exactly, was she? Why don't you remember important things, like... I dunno, why you had just slept with a terrorist and supercriminal?
Calm down, Ozpin. You just... okay, there's no real reason to be calm. You just slept with a terrorist and supercriminal that is trying to blow up your academy and presumably kill everyone inside of it. How drunk, exactly, were you? How drunk, exactly, was she? Why don't you remember important things, like... I dunno, why you had just slept with a terrorist and supercriminal?
D'Argo: Crichton...Crichton! Wake up! WAKE UP!
Crichton: Unnnggghhh...what happened?
D'Argo: What didn't happen?
Crichton: Unnnggghhh...what happened?
D'Argo: What didn't happen?
— Farscape, "Scratch 'N Sniff"
"Just give him one of these blue pills," said Proton. "He'll wake up in his bed tomorrow and believe whatever he wants to believe — especially after finding the words 'Bubba's Bitch' tattooed on his behind. At least, that's what happened to me."
Joker: Luthor, baby! How ya feeling?
Lex Luthor: Not great. I don't recall much after deciding it would be fun to dress as Superman for the Halloween party.
Joker: You were a riot! You ran around drunk yelling, "I get it! I get it now! The cape's amazing!" Then you tried to fly by jumping off the roof!
Lex Luthor: Ugh. Who stopped me?
Joker: Nobody! We're villains; we all watched you jump!
Lex Luthor: How the hell did I survive that?
Joker: SUPERMAN CAUGHT YOU! And then you tried to kiss him. It was a delightful train wreck, and I've caused actual train wrecks.
Lex Luthor: Not great. I don't recall much after deciding it would be fun to dress as Superman for the Halloween party.
Joker: You were a riot! You ran around drunk yelling, "I get it! I get it now! The cape's amazing!" Then you tried to fly by jumping off the roof!
Lex Luthor: Ugh. Who stopped me?
Joker: Nobody! We're villains; we all watched you jump!
Lex Luthor: How the hell did I survive that?
Joker: SUPERMAN CAUGHT YOU! And then you tried to kiss him. It was a delightful train wreck, and I've caused actual train wrecks.
"The last time I was sentenced to death, I ordered four hyper-vodkas for my breakfast. All a bit of a blur after that. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. Lovely couple; they stayed in touch! Can't say that about most executioners."
— Captain Jack Harkness, Doctor Who, "The Doctor Dances"
Rocky: Where are we? Are we still in Texas?
Mordecai: Louisiana.
Mordecai: Louisiana.
"I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night."
— Benjamin Franklin (attributed)
"God... What have I done? Also, why did I do whatever it was I've done? Also, where am I?"
— Buffy Summers, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Season 9
Sheldon: Penny, Leonard. Would you be able to answer some questions I'm having about the events of last night?
Penny: Sure.
Sheldon: Question one: Where are my pants?
Leonard: You might want to check YouTube
.
Sheldon: (walking over to the laptop) What am I searching for?
Leonard: (grinning) It's already loaded, just hit play.
Penny: Sure.
Sheldon: Question one: Where are my pants?
Leonard: You might want to check YouTube
.Sheldon: (walking over to the laptop) What am I searching for?
Leonard: (grinning) It's already loaded, just hit play.
"Never let Sara mix you a drink. The last time she played bartender for the freehold, we all woke up three days later in a clearing in the Hedge with a gang of Goblins calling Joe "Your majesty"."
Introduction text of the Brewer Kith in Changeling: The Lost 2E
Your casino is stunning — it doesn't matter which one you picked, really; they are all stunning - but more of the clamorous slot machines convince you it is time to turn in for the evening. Or maybe grab a drink.
The next morning you awaken to the sounds of hammering, sawing and loud engines. You look outside and catch a bleary vision of the omnipresent construction. Just across from your bathroom window, a man walks on a narrow beam, his hand lazily guiding another beam hanging from a crane as tall as the tower in which you stand. "Jeez, what did I do last night?" you think. Starving for breakfast, or whatever they call it when it's 1 p.m., you head out into the casino hallway. You suddenly feel invigorated and you remember reading that they pump oxygen into the recycled air. Energized and hungry, you don't care. It's party time again.
A few days later, your body aches, your feet hurt, and you are dry as a sandbox, withered from the cheap drinks, arid desert wind and over-conditioned air. Jeez, what did I do last night?
—Mage: The Ascension - Fallen Tower: Las Vegas
"But the worst thing is that someone stole these old, antique photos of my grandmother, and my parents are freaking out about it". And I had that thought that only blackout drunks and Steve Urkel can have: Did I do that?
It's a blacktop blur but I'm pretty sure it ruled.....
(Beat as she looks at the pictures from the night before posted up online)
Damn.....
—Katy Perry,"Last Friday Night" music video
Elizabeth blushed. A few hours ago, she'd been almost secure in the knowledge that she was doing the right thing – no matter how badly she suffered as a result. But now that she was sitting here, freezing cold and dripping wet, with her head throbbing in agony and the full spotlight of the Luteces' disapproval blazing down on her, those semi-comforting certainties were beginning to evaporate. Now, a surge of embarrassment was sweeping over her, accompanied by a sensation of creeping dread instantly recognizable to anyone who'd ever asked themselves the fatal question "what the hell did I do last night?"
There was a vague, very vague, poorly-lit memory of an advert on the back of a cab seat; something about cheap space travel on Virgin's new batch of demi-light-speed zippers. Something about Saturn being in the heart of the solar system, and businesses were uprooting all the time. Something about it being nearer than you think at half the speed of light. Something about two hours and ten minutes. And then a thick, black, gunky fog.
He'd woken up slumped across a table in a McDonald's burger bar on Mimas, wearing a lady's pink crimplene hat and a pair of yellow fishing waders, with no money and a passport in the name of "Emily Berkenstein." What was more, he had a worrying rash.
When Lister got drunk, he really got drrrr-unk.
—Red Dwarf: Infinity Welcomes Careful Drivers
Eggman: Ugh, oh god...urgh, what the fuck happened last night? Wha—whuh...
Shadow: You pissed on the moon, Eggman.
Rouge: We're really worried about you, this is an intervention. We're here to help you.
Eggman: What are you talking about? I didn't piss on the moon—
Shadow: When you piss on the moon—look at the moon, it's in half now from how hard you pissed on it. I'm telling you, this has been a problem for a long time.
Eggman: I did nothing s—I—I ju—I woke up, and—
Rouge: You did, you pissed on it.
Shadow: Listen, we're doing this because we care about you and your wife.
Rouge: Yeah, you pissed on it and you cursed out Obama, it was like, really bizarre.
Eggman: Obama is a strong figure to the... America, I would never say such a thing! No way!
Shadow: You pissed on the moon, Eggman.
Rouge: We're really worried about you, this is an intervention. We're here to help you.
Eggman: What are you talking about? I didn't piss on the moon—
Shadow: When you piss on the moon—look at the moon, it's in half now from how hard you pissed on it. I'm telling you, this has been a problem for a long time.
Eggman: I did nothing s—I—I ju—I woke up, and—
Rouge: You did, you pissed on it.
Shadow: Listen, we're doing this because we care about you and your wife.
Rouge: Yeah, you pissed on it and you cursed out Obama, it was like, really bizarre.
Eggman: Obama is a strong figure to the... America, I would never say such a thing! No way!
I made such a fuss about how my account got hacked, but after looking through my posts, those were all me... just a very drunk me.
@DrunkPoster, NEO: The World Ends with You
Miss Withering: Don't you remember, William?
Mr. Boggs: No, I don't.
Miss Withering: Then that is something we shall always be wondering about. Isn' it?
Did I do drugs again last night?
My younger self would be mortified!
'cause Captain Planet told me to say no!
Oh, what happened?
My younger self would be mortified!
'cause Captain Planet told me to say no!
Oh, what happened?
— RedHook, "Bad Decisions"
Ruth: And we know each other?
Charlie: Yeah, we met last night in a Mexican restuarant. You were drinking tequilas. That ring any bells?
Ruth: No, but it does explain why I feel like somebody's stolen my liver and replaced it with a minibar. I should never drink tequila.
Laura: What on Earth possessed you to choose that picture and have "I'm a Goer" written underneath?
Helen: I don't remember! I don't remember anything! All I do remember is someone at the Flemish for Beginners class producing a crate of Bowes and that's what I discovered in the shower on Wednesday morning.
Searching his pockets revealed [Noctis'] phone was missing. Searching the car revealed four Crownsguard-issue phones lying in the trunk, along with Prompto's camera. Y'jhimei's book was also absent, and was not so easily located. There was a chunk of unfamiliar ore under the brake pedal, large enough to stop the pedal from moving. The glove compartment was full of Oracle Ascension Coins, and discovering this left several scattered on the floor before the passenger seat. A magic flask full of Blizzard was in the cup holder. Several half-full cans of Ebony were wedged in the grill.
"I don't even like coffee," Noctis muttered, prying out the cans before they got too hot from the engine.
"I don't even like coffee," Noctis muttered, prying out the cans before they got too hot from the engine.
— Astral Hangover, Chapter 1: "Waking Up, Freaking Out"
Please tell me why
My car is in the front yard, and I'm
Sleeping with my clothes on
Came in through the window last night
And you're gone, gone
My car is in the front yard, and I'm
Sleeping with my clothes on
Came in through the window last night
And you're gone, gone
— Lit, "My Own Worst Enemy"
Hungover, Pirate Pete learned two very important life lessons. Firstly, never bury your treasure whilst drunk, and secondly and more importantly, don’t expect your parrot to remember where that was.
— Rjbess
