"Greetings, and welcome to my first ever Let's Play of Troika's Vampire The Masquerade: the only game that lets you feel like you're actually living inside a failed Joss Whedon project."
—Marik Ishtar, Marik Plays Bloodlines, on this game.
"Police don't have any suspects at this time, but they're pretty sure it was you."
—Newscaster, to the Malkavian PC, through the TV set.
"No, you stop!"
—Malkavian PC, to a stop sign.
"Blood! It's your new rack of lamb, your new champagne, your new fucking heroin!"
—Smiling Jack.
"Oooh, what do we have here? Another scrumptious young plaything straight out of life and into my club? Mmm... you smell new, little boy/girl, like fabric softener dew on freshly mowed Astroturf. Oh, I'm not frightening you, am I, duckling?"
—Jeanette Voerman, to PC.
"Sweet Kindred, Thank you again for all you did for me. I want you to know that I meant it when I said I adored you. You made me feel that the world was not nearly as dark and desperate. I hope to see you again in my club... And in my dreams. All my love, VV."
—Velvet Velour, First email sent to the PC after being nice to her and completing both of her missions.
"Playa, what's the score, how they hangin', good evening and all that commotion! Welcome to Fat Larry's Truck of Mack, the only store for all your needs after ten o'clock: I am the proprietor and salesman of the months several years in a row, the ladies call me "Oh God!" but you can call me Fat Larry with an F-A-T, cuz I know I got a weight problem an' I just don't give a fuck!"
—Fat Larry's introduction
"A tuna walks into a sushi bar and tells the chef, 'You killed my father!'
"Chef says 'That's my business, fish.'
"The tuna thinks about this for a moment and says 'Very well. Then I challenge you to a game of chess. If I win, you stop being a chef forever.'
"'And if I win?' asks the chef.
"'Then you can feed me to your customers,' says the tuna.
"So they start to play. Now, tunas love to play chess so in a few moves the tuna has the chef checkmated.
"'Looks like I win,' says the tuna.
"The chef nods and plunges his knife into the tuna's belly.
"'But I won!' says the tuna.
"'So did your father,' says the chef."
—The TV newsanchor, to a Malkavian PC
