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Sixty million Twitter followers? The only place people will be following you in jail is into the shower.
Martha Stewart to Justin Bieber, Comedy Central Roast

Well, Stephen Fry is on it, so that makes everything okay! Recent research into Twitter reveals that 80% of its content was Stephen Fry related.

Thanks to social media, everyone can have a public face now, and that public face has to be managed. I have a public face. I have a Twitter feed and I sit there trying to think of clever shit that will make me look AWESOME because making myself look awesome presumably leads me to riches and yachts and brony parties. And if that part of your life grows large enough, pretty much everything you do is for performance, and your humanity ends up dissolving in the process.

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Facebook is for people who have a pathetic, insatiable hunger for the attention of friends, relatives, acquaintances, and people they met at a party once three years ago to feel like they matter. People who have a pathetic, insatiable hunger for the attention of strangers use Twitter. In unrelated news, did you guys know you can follow me on Twitter? I make tons of funny jokes there and sometimes post pictures of my cat! Follow me! Love me! I need this!

Uh oh, bad news for those of you who have been longing to read the 140-character thoughts of America’s Sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence ('@JLawSweatpants: More like America’s Sweet-fart #LOL #fart #nailedit')...But I can’t fault JLaw for not wanting to be on Twitter. All she’d probably tweet about are farts and food, and there’s already enough people doing that on Twitter! That’s why I had to cool it with the Twitter for a while; all I was doing was tweeting about food. Newsflash Allison, nobody gives a shit that it’s a 'cake kind of day.'

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Web 2.0 has considerably dumbed down discourse making anything longer than 140 characters 'tl;dr'...What it means in practical terms is that corporations like Amazon.com and Facebook don't have to pay anyone to create most of their content, instead, you, the sucker with too much time on your hands create it for them. You don't even get paid for it. These corporations then add insult to injury by allowing anyone to comment on what you wrote — which tends to bring out the worst sort of anonymous sniping and character assassination — and by using the content you generated to accumulate buttloads of personal information about your interests and target you with specific advertising.

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