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Quotes / Third-Person Person

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Kurt: I want you to bail on Good Burger and come work for me at Mondo Burger. You make your sauce for Kurt.
Ed: Who's Kurt?
Kurt: I'm Kurt!
Ed: I'm Ed.
Kurt: I'm aware!
Ed: You said you were Kurt!

"Never trust someone who refers to herself in the third person."
Gali Gee, Tangled Web

"Pommy's name is Pommy."

"Mark does so love writing in third person."
Mark Rosewater, Magic: The Gathering, "Feeling Blue"

"It's a little known fact that talking about oneself in the first person was only first invented by Ayn Rand for the 1957 novel Atlas Shrugged. Before that, it was just considered rude."
Jordon Davis, The Agony Booth

"You're always going 'Bob Dole does this' and 'Bob Dole does that.' That's simply not something Bob Dole does!"
Bob Dole, Saturday Night Live

"Have you not noticed before now, that babies and babyish people who cannot distinguish themselves from the world, speak of themselves in the Third Person?"
The Sphere, Flatland

And she refers to herself in the third person
so she can forget that she's me
Emilie Autumn, Opheliac

"David Arquette is an actor, writer, director and producer whose unique sensibility makes him one of the most versatile talents working in the entertainment industry today, able to segue from comedy to drama with extraordinary ease. This makes David Arquette extremely uncomfortable, because of the fact that he is writing this bio himself and it seems arrogant to boast about his incredible talents in such a way while also referring to himself in the third person."
David Arquette's bio on the website for Scream 4

"Plus, you should always be suspicious of a guy who refers to himself in the third person. Just saying."
J.R. Ward, in the afterword to Signet Classics' centennial edition of The Phantom of the Opera, referring to Erik's use of this trope

"268: Mr. Welch is not allowed to speak in third person."

Phoenix: Who was that?
Twilight: She's a traveling performer named Trixie.
Phoenix: I kind of got her name down a long time ago, she only said it about a dozen times...

Rarity: Why is [Trixie] speaking in third person?
Pinkie: She must be totally crazy.
Twilight: Look who's talking.

PC: I command you to stop referring to yourself in the third person.
Zaxis: Zaxis... does not understand. Who is this "third person?"

Nicolaus: Henceforth, you are to refer to yourself only in the third person.
Caesar: Right, OK, so I... what?
Nicolaus: No!
Caesar: What?
Nicolaus: Instead of saying "I'm listening", you say "Caesar is listening" or "Caesar listens" it makes you seem more...
Caesar: Mental?
Nicolaus: Important!

Grundy: (after getting hit with tear gas) Grundy don't feel so good.
Batman: (gets ready to punch him) Grundy is about to feel a whole lot worse!
Superman/Batman Public Enemies

"James Cameron doesn't do what James Cameron does for James Cameron. James Cameron does what James Cameron does because James Cameron is James Cameron."

Tao is Taokaka.
Taokaka, BlazBlue

The Boulder: The Boulder feels conflicted about fighting a young, blind girl.
Toph Beifong: Sounds to me like you're scared, Boulder!
The Boulder: (beat) The Boulder is over his conflicted feelings, and now he's ready to bury you in a rock-a-lanche!

Mysterio: You dare call Mysterio a magician? Fool! Mysterio is no illusionist playing parlor tricks! Mysterio is the master of the arcane arts!
Spider-Man: Seems to me "Mysterio" is the master of talking about himself in the third person.

"Oh no! Johnny Steps is losing! And that's me!"

Caesar: A few commentaries: After Vercingetorix's defeat, he threw down his weapons at the feet of the glorious leader who conquered Gaul. All of it? No! One small village of barbarians dared, and dares still, to resist him!
Roman #1: Who's he talking about?
Roman #2: Himself. He always refers to himself in third person.
Roman #1: He's great!
Caesar: Who is?
Roman #1: Well... you!
Caesar: Ah. Him!

"Mundo says his own name a lot, or else he forgets! Has happened before."
Dr. Mundo, League of Legends

"Ah, La Hire wishes to kill something."
La Hire, Age of Empires II

Disco Stu: So, do you party?
Marge: You mean like a hats and noisemakers kind of party?
Disco Stu: Sure, baby, whatever your trip is. Disco Stu wants you to be comfortable while he does his thing.
Marge: Who's Disco Stu?
The Simpsons, "Little Big Mom"

"The Batter has no time for your silly antics. The Batter must find his way out of here. The Batter must escape your maze. The Batter must stop referring to himself in the third person so that the Batter can lead a normal life, and maybe then, the Batter can stop purifying everybody that he sees."
Markiplier playing Off

"Yes, Bob Dole lost the election. And Bob Dole also lost the ability to refer to Bob Dole in the first person."

"You're starting to talk about yourself in third person. That's not a sign of impending megalomania or anything."

"Ice Bear wants justice."
Ice Bear, We Bare Bears, "Our Stuff"

Count Bleck: "Your princess has been Count Bleck!"
Bowser: "You... Wait, by WHO!?"
Count Bleck: "By me...Count Bleck! The chosen executor of the Dark Count Bleck! The fine fellow prophesied to come to this also Count Bleck!
Bowser: "I'll tell you who doesn't make even a little bit of sense...Count Bleck!"

"If I, Dio, want to make sure that the stone mask will kill Jonathan, then I, Dio, will need to test it on a live subject."

I assist only the strong and able! That's Porky.
Porky Minch, EarthBound

"Visitors... Ralph doesn't like visitors! They're nasty! They may hurt Ralph!"

Duke Baloney: So, what brings you to South Africa?
Scrooge: Let's just say a certain savvy Scotsman got the Rain Queen of Balobedu to make the Sahara Desert a little less dry. Just another day at the office for Scrooge McDuck.
Duke Baloney: Must be a big deal if you're referring to yourself in the third person. You know, Duke Baloney is kind of a big deal, too. He's got tons of plans to make him the richest duck in the world!
DuckTales (2017), "The Ballad of Duke Baloney!"

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